Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Twisted Saiyan Tale ❯ This is where the 'twist' comes into play. ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A.T.S.T.: Chapter the 2nd

By: Somebody, Somewhere

Disclaimer: Don't own Dragonball, etc. etc. etc., blah, blah, blah. Seriously, could anyone really mistake me for Akira Toriyama and co.? I don't think so.

Warning: Out of Character-ness, naughty language, and yes, horror of horrors, HUMOR.

Chapter 2:

A month passes as Bulma finishes the upgrades on the new-and-improved spaceship/time machine/dimensional crossing whatever-you-want-to-call-it hybrid really-good-gas-mileage vehicle and Vegeta gets in some serious iron pumping. They stock up on supplies for whatever situation they think they may encounter on Namek and during the 'liberation' of Chibi Mirai Trunks. But, first, Bulma has some news for Vegeta….

Bulma brushed her hands off on her slacks and looked nervously at

her new 'husband'. "Vegeta, before we go, there is something I have to tell

you." She took a deep breath, "I'm late."

"So the gizmo isn't ready. We'll just leave in a couple of days. Or

weeks. No big deal. We literally have all the time in the world.", Vegeta

answered as he chinned himself up on the bar of some newly built gym

equipment.

"No, Vegeta, I'm LATE, late!" she emphasized.

"Oh, Do you mean THAT kind of late!? Well, it shouldn't be much

of a shock, really. I mean, we've been all over each other like bunnies in

heat. How do you feel about two brats? Do you want more than just the

one?" Vegeta replied calmly still chinning away. Bulma reaches up and

tickles his ribs. "Hey, ha ha ha, knock it, ha ha ha, off!", and he crashes to

the ground.

"Well of course I want more than one, I want to have lots and lots of your

babies, well, okay, two really, but maybe a third if this kid turns out to be

another Trunks. I always wanted at least one little girl." Bulma replies

staring down at him, hands on hips.

Bulma leaned down and helped pull him up from the floor.

"Hhn, that's nice for a change, a Bulma who actually likes the idea of getting knocked up by me."

At this, Bulma punched him and said, "'Knocked Up!' What thing to

say!"

So as they made their final preparations for departure and scoured

the dimension's primitive, undeveloped planet for valuables to take on their

trip back to their respective homes. They also compared notes on where

their dimensions history diverged.

"So Bardock survived snotty mini me, huh, and all three of his

spawn ended up on Chikyu?" Vegeta asked Bulma.

"Yeah, apparently he purged this world of fortune tellers, and they

'cursed' him with the ability to see the future, although, if they could see the

future, and knew someone was going to kill all of them you'd think they

would of a.) got out of Dodge City, I mean left the planet OR b.) had

a nasty little surprise waiting for the planet purgers OR c.) Both of the

above. At least that's what I would have done if it had been me. So anyway

it was like this…."

Folks, this is going to be a chapter full of flashbacks.

Bardock's space pod had all but crash landed on Vegeta-sei. He

staggered out of the ship and looked around at the dock personnel. He had

made it back just before Freiza was scheduled to destroy the planet. He had

another flash of the future. Babbling to the Saiya-jin surrounding him of

the impending planetary doom he staggered down the street and collapsed

at a local bar. The other patrons whispered and giggled over the 'drunk'.

As he was helpless to stop or even warn them of the end, Freiza arrived,

and then it was far too late. Kakkoroto was launched to Earth and was

raised as a native, Turles was picked up in his pod by pirates and raised

as a pirate and is killed by 'Goku', Raditz grew up Freiza's slave and died

in combat with his own long lost brother. Nappa and Vegeta killed by

'Goku' a year later and Freiza dies on Namek. Bardock abruptly

straightened up, "Out of my way! I have to attend the launch of my

youngest son!" He ran as fast as his he could, even though he was still

badly disoriented by the alien's curse. And then it happened. Freiza had

arrived, but instead of destroying the planet, Freiza was the one destroyed,

by a Super Saiya-jin, a legend, he claimed to be a stranded time traveler.

The terrible future Bardock had foreseen was averted and as one of

Vegeta-sei's top scientist he was assigned to find away to get rid of, er,

assist the time traveler in returning to his rightful place. The legend leaves

and it seems that things will turn out all right for the Saiya-jin, if it weren't

for one person: the new King Vegeta. This Vegeta was a whiny, squeaky

over-pampered twit. The little brat was a self indulgent, self important,

egotistical snot-faced brat. Bardock and all the other Saiya-jin knew they

were in for a rough time with the little creep, but only Bardock knew about

the Dragonballs.

A great dragon filled the sky surrounded by seven glowing spheres.

"Reflect a moment upon your desire…."

Bardock called his older sons to him, "Boys, we're going to go on a

little vacation…"

Bardock wasn't entirely sure what the dragon or the glowing

spheres meant, but in his previous visions of the other future they seemed

the center of his youngest son's new life. In his vision he saw his son and

various companions killed in battle and then magically restored to life, (an

impossible feat!) made possible, somehow, by these glowing spheres. He

knew that somehow he would find his youngest, weakest son and the old

man he saw in his visions and then they would lead him to these

Dragonballs.

The old man was sweeping the walk in front of his cabin with his

newly acquired grandson tied on his back when a bright light streaked

across the night sky. He leaned on his broom like a walking stick as he

tracked the small, round silver object with his eyes.

"Shimatta, I wonder who's gonna show up on my doorstep now?"

Hey, I told you guys this chapter was lousy with flashbacks!

A tall, wild haired man and two young kids stood in front of the

geezer with the baby. A casual observer would have immediately noticed a

resemblance between the large, tailed man and all three tailed children. The

large man looked at the old geezer and said, "We need to talk." And they

did talk long into the night and for a good portion of the next day. Finally,

some agreement was reached between them and the large man left without

any of the children. Curiously enough, before the large man left the planet

he returned to his pod-like vehicle and came back to the cabin in the woods

with what appeared to be a first aid kit. Moments later inside the cabin

there came a yells of "OUCH, ARGHHH, DADDY PLEASE STOP!!!

NOT THE TAIL! NOT THE TAIL!" A short time later an observer would

have seen the old geezer with the wailing tail-less baby on his back and

two tail-less little kids with X-shaped bandages on each of their bums

wave good bye to the large man. When the vehicle was out of sight the old

man turned to the kids and said, "Let's get packed up. I want to be ready

for tomorrow. We should leave early if we are going after the dragonballs."

Several months later……

The clouds roiled and thunder flashed in the night sky, an enormous

serpentine something filled the sky. It resolved itself into a huge snakelike

dragon.

"Reflect a moment upon your desires…"

The old geezer looked up at the dragon and said, "I wish the

previous King Vegeta to be returned to life, the father of the current King

Vegeta."

"GRANTED"

<END FLASH BACK SEQUENCE> aren't the special effects in this fanfic just fabulous?

"So my father got wished back to life?", Vegeta asked, "I bet that

pleased the little bastard no end. Having to go back to being 'Prince

Vegeta'!"

"Yeah, you can bet it did", Bulma replied, "Well, that's how Goku

and his brothers ended up on Chikyu-sei. Bardock told Grandpa Gohan it

was their tails that let them transform and also told him that if he didn't

want to die of accidental trampling he'd better keep them from seeing the

full moon or get rid of their tails. He hated to get rid of their 'Saiya-jin

pride', but his visions told him they wouldn't really need them to become

super strong, and Gohan insisted. Gramps didn't care for the part of the

vision where he gets squished flat."

"So my father returns to life and mini me gets a nasty surprise. Heh,

when I was trapped in the past, that little snot was looking for some

comeuppance. I literally hated myself. Why didn't Bardock just wish

himself into a super Saiya-jin and take out the little creep and take over

Vegeta-sei. We Saiya-jin aren't that sentimental about weak leaders, and

we wouldn't pass up the opportunity to grab power, food, oh heck,

anything for ourselves."

"Well, he probably would have if he knew the true power of the

Dragonballs. However, he only saw visions of them returning people to

life.

So, he shows up on Gohan's doorstep and tells him he purges planets for a

living. You think that old geezer is dumb? Hah! No way! He lets Bardock

think the only power dragonballs have is returning people from the dead,

and only he has the power to summon the dragon. Well, Bardock has to be

satisfied with the return of 'old' King Vegeta. The saiya-jin spend the next

couple of decades fighting off an army of angry Aisu-jin led by King Cold.

In the meantime on Chikyu-sei, me and the Z-senshi go off on our merry

adventures. Then, all of a sudden, last year, who do you suppose shows

up? 'You' and Nappa. 'You' want Goku and company to take care of the

Aisu-jin. Apparently, 'You' were warned as a child to get rid of the infant

Kakarotto, but 'You' sent him off to Chikyu-sei anyway. 'You' said you

were sure you would be stronger than some third rate Baka and weren't

worried."

"I know from personal experience just who gave the squeaky twit

that advice. I knew he'd never take it. Well, I was actually looking forward

to that little jerk getting the beating Kakkorotto doles out, and now I know

he actually got it I'm not the least bit surprised or disappointed."

Bulma drew back to get a better look at him. "You sound as if you

hate 'yourself' as much as I hated 'myself'."

"I did, and I still do!"

They ate dinner and were finishing up 'dessert' when Vegeta

yawned and stretched. "Ahhhhh, so Kakkorotto didn't get suckered into

marrying the harpy? That's a story I'd really like to hear. Your version must

not be nearly the third class baka mine was."

"I get why you refer to him as 'third class', but why do you keep

referring to him as a fool?"

"That grinning dolt? Even if he didn't have his skull cracked open as

a kid the goody two shoes is always going on about 'the right thing to do'

until even his team mates want to scream. I mean the guy is so dumb he

didn't finish Freiza off the first time when he had the chance. For that

matter, he didn't finish me off and my whole goal in life until he keeled over

from heart disease was killing him. Bah, mercy!" Vegeta answered. "And

don't get me started on him and women and biology, his fear of needles,

and his personal hygiene!"

To this Bulma said, "What head injury?"

Yes, folks this is the cliff hanger for chapter three