Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Dee's Grimm Fairy Tales ❯ Tale Four: The Three NYC Pigs ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: kit_shang 
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.28.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 390 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fake Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.28.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 390 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Kit_Yang vs.Sanami Matoh
^*>o<*^:Damn it, Ryo and Dee got away! I was THIS close to owning them...
^*^o^*<: I, the great Sanami Matoh owns Ryo, Dee, and all of FAKE!
Dee's stories are parodies of Grimm's Fairy Tales, some insights of Disney classics, and a little bit of Mother Goose.
######################################################################## ####
Dee's Grimm Fairy Tales
Told By: Kit_Yang +<^-^>+
Tale Four: The NYC Pigs +<(^oo^)>+
"Ahhhhh! Nothing feels better than a day of relaxation!" Dee exclaimed as he flopped down on the sofa cushions.
"Yeah, I agree...but why would Rose give us a vacation on the same day?" Ryo asked as he brought two cups of coffee.
"You know me, I am a man of persuasion after all!" Dee snickered as he recalled earlier events. Grabbing his cup of coffee and muttered "thanks babe", Dee took a sip and relaxed.
Putting two and two together, the blonde looked over at Dee with a 'I know what you did' look.
"What?" Dee asked
"You bribed him with the story, didn't you?" Ryo smirked
"Hey, it was either that or my check...which would you choose?" Dee said holding up two fingers.
"I would've chosen both" Ryo replied back, sipping his coffee and wondering how in the hell Rose gave up that easily.
"Well, it could've been worse...I mean, heck if it was you trying to bribe me, you'd probably use sex...ACK!" Dee immediately stopped in his tracks and covered his mouth. Looking over at Ryo, Dee cursed himself for being so stupid. 'Oh no...I know that look' Dee thought as he gulped nervously.
"Hahhaha...ur...now Ryo, I was just joking!" Dee said with half a smile.
Grinning naughtily, Ryo took both he and Dee's cups and placed them on the coffee table. Turning to Dee, Ryo licked his lips as as he placed his hands on Dee's chest. Sweat dropping, Dee realized he just landed himself in deep crap. 'Great...so much for my three day vacation...now Ryo's gonna whine until he gets to hear it.' Dee thought as Ryo started kissing his neck. 'There is a GOD!!!! WAIT! What am I thinking?' he thought as he struggled to stay focus. Sitting on top of Dee now, Ryo continued to assault Dee's neck, hoping the man would give in.
Pushing Ryo's shoulders, Dee continued to fight as desired filled his lower half. Moans of pleasure filled the air as Dee slowly lost himself in Ryo's gentle kisses. Hearing Dee's purrs convinced the fair haired man that his lover was slowly losing himself in pleasure. 'Now's the time' Ryo thought. With that, Ryo leaned over and whispered in Dee's ear:
"Finish the story koi" he whispered seductively.
"Uh? Do wh-what?"
Nipping gently at Dee's neck, Ryo continued driving Dee crazy. The man was so easy to arouse, Ryo thought.
"What happened to the creature?" Ryo asked as he stared at Dee. Slowly undoing his buttons, Ryo continued to stare at his lover as he gently rubbed his groin against Dee's slowly. Moaning, Dee sat up and hooked his arms around Ryo's back. Kissing Ryo's neck, Dee ignored Ryo's question.
"Dee...Dee! Are you listening to me?" Ryo asked as he cupped Dee's face in his palms and gave his lover a pout.
"What? Of course I am! You were talkin' about fireflies that get stuck in the sky. Hakuna Matata baby." Dee answered lamely as he gazed at his gorgeous babe.
"Dee, you're so weird" Ryo laughed as he gave Dee a kiss to the cheek. "Really now, what happened?"
"Ryo, we're on vacation...what makes you think I want to waste it by continuing the story? We could be doing other things." Dee suggested as he showed Ryo just what he was talkin' about. Just as he was about to kiss Ryo, his face was pinched by small fingers, causing him to yelp in pain. Turning around, Dee let out a:
"ACK! BIKKY!"
"Hahahhahaha!" the boy laughed as he pointed a finger to Dee.
"Damn you!" Dee shouted as he prepared to jump Bikky, only to be stopped by Ryo's strong arms. "Ryo, let me go! I'm gonna smack some manners into that heathen!"
"Now Dee..." Ryo replied in a serious tone.
"Yeah you lame ass, maybe you should listen to Ryo here. You might make it out alive!" Bikky remarked as he crossed his arms and pointed his nose into the air.
"You better talk big while you can, DOPEY! Cuz after I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you ate that damn poisoned apple!" Dee continued to growl.
"Psst! Hey, Guys! Keep it real now huh?" Kit whispers from the back.
"And YOU! I'm tired of you giving us some cheesy lines. What's up with that? Maybe you should get your ass back to work!" Dee shouts.
A vein pops up from Kit's forehead. Pulling a bazooka from her back, Kit points it directly at Dee, making him sweat drop.
"Care to say that again Laytner?" Kit warns.
"Urm...hahahhaa...just kidding" Dee says nervously as Ryo sighs in defeat.
"Alright then...marker one, Act IV, and ACTION!" Kit shouts.
"You better talk big while you can, DOPEY! Cuz after I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you ate that damn poisoned apple!" Dee continued to growl.
"Bring it on whipperella!" Bikky said as he continued to ignore Dee.
Giving up, Ryo got up and headed to the kitchen as the two continued bickering. 'Maybe cooking dinner will earn me the story. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' Ryo thought as he snickered. After dinner, the dishes were all cleared as Dee, Ryo, and Bikky sat at the table wondering what to do next. The next thing he knew, Dee's wrists were handcuffed together as he was staring into space.
"What the?" Dee asked as he shot Ryo a questioning look. Suddenly, it hit him...Ryo wasn't going to let him go that easily. Looking up, Dee thought Ryo was really getting tired of this cat and mouse game. There his lover stood, hair slicked back with his arms crossed in front of him. Next to him stood Bikky, clean and tough looking in the same pose. Both silently told him he wasn't getting away this time.
"I want some answers Detective Laytner and I refuse to wait any longer." Ryo said calmly. "We can do it the hard way or the easy way. But I warn you, I cannot guarantee you safety unless you cooperate." Ryo replied as he leaned forward with his palms on the table top.
Looking over his shoulder and pointing at Bikky:
"See my buddy here? He has a short fuse and is easily angered. If you keep refusing to give us answers, I'm afraid we'll have to play good cop, bad cop. So what's it going to be?" Ryo asked as he raised an eyebrow to Dee.
"Tch. I'm not going to talk that easily." Dee mumbled
"Don't you understand? We're the only ones who can help you. We know that others are out there for your story. They're coming for you, even as we speak. You can either tell us while you're in our custody, or we hand you to them. Either way, we'll get the story."
"Yeah bozo, so you better shape up and talk or else!" Bikky remarked.
Thinking to himself, Dee knew he couldn't escape. It's what he deserved for underestimating the importance of the evidence. He thought it best if he let Ryo take down his story before he was ganged up by Ted, Drake, and JJ. He knew they were coming...when? he did not know. All he knew was that he'd rather be safe than have five million bullet holes shot in him for his story. Giving up, Dee sighed and decided to place his life into the hands of the two interrogators. Shaking his head in agreement, Dee remained quiet as he thought how best to word his story.
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[Narrator: Dee]
"Stop in the name of the law!" Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf all shouted as they pointed their guns to the creature.
Wobbling to and fro, the creature let out a "EEEK!!!" and started swaying as it tried to keep it's balance. To no avail, it fell and seperated into three different parts. Moans and groans could be heard from the shadows as the individual parts started to wiggle to an upright position.
Staring at the creature and wondering what the heck it was, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf gestured for Carol Pick Pocket Hood and the Bikky-Bread Man to go inside. Grabbing Carol's arm, the Bikky-Bread Man dragged her along to safety. Peeping out the window, the two young ones stared out the window, wondering what was going to happen.
Slowly walking towards it, the three men stared at one another and nodded their heads. Each aiming at the individual parts, Rose-Wolf asked:
"What the heck are you and why are you here?"
"Who, me?"
"No, he was talking to me!"
"Ah shut up you two! Geez, I'm getting a head-ache!" another voice replied.
One by one, the three body parts slowly walked into the light. With the sun reflecting on them, flashes of pink could be seen. Covering their eyes from the bright light, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf covered their eyes with their arms. Standing in broad daylight now, the three body parts brushed off dirt from their shoulders and let out snorts.
As the bright light suddenly faded, the three guys brought down their arms and stared in shock. In front of them stood three little pigs...one with brown hair, one with red, and the other with lavender hair. In shock, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf all stared at them with open mouths.
"Geez, we don't look that bad!" the red hair replied.
"Are you guys okay?" the brown hair asked, waving his hoove in front of him.
"What a stud!" the lavender hair replied.
Moments passed by as Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf continued staring at the three rudely. Shaking out of their daze, Ryo and Rose-Wolf came back to their senses except for Dee. Still gawking at the three, Dee lost himself in shock. Staring at his lover, Ryo smacked Dee on the cheek, bringing him back to Earth.
"OWww!" Dee whined as he rubbed his cheek.
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[The Present: Ryo, Bikky, and Dee]
"So, what happened next Mr. Laytner?"
"It's hard to remember exactly" Dee says.
"Are you gonna spill it or do I have to hurt ya moron?" Bikky threatens.
"Hurt me and I won't say anything else." Dee sneers.
"Now Bikky, simmer down...I'll handle it okay? Once again Mr. Laytner, what happened?" Ryo asks calmly.
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[Narrator: Dee]
"Owww!" Dee whined as he rubbed his cheek. Staring at the three pigs once again, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf introduced themselves. After introductions were made, Dee asked the pigs out of curiosity:
"Who are you guys?"
"Um...we're the three NYC Pigs" the three said in unison, finishing up with a dance routine.
"I'm Drake" said the brown hair pig.
"Yours truly, Ted" the red hair pointed to himself.
"And I'm your number one fan, JJ!" the lavender hair pig said as he jumped and grabbed onto Dee's arms.
"ACK! Let go!" Dee shouted as he tried shaking JJ from his arms. The more Dee shook, the more the pig held on while declaring his undying love for the raven hair man. 'This is ridiculous' Ryo thought as a vein popped up from his forehead. Turning to Ted and Drake, Ryo invited the them inside for some tea and cookies. Shooting Dee a murderous look, Ryo turned his back to his lover and headed inside the hut. Smirking, Rose shot Dee an "I'm gonna get your man" look and proceeded after Ryo.
"Don't you dare touch my Ryo, you animal!" Dee shouted as JJ changed tactics and tackled him to the ground. Shouts of "ACK!!! Let me go!" and "Never ever! You're my mean, Dee, Love Machine!!!!" echoed through the silence of the forest.
The afternoon faded into evening as dinner was served. Everyone joined in and started chowing down. Afterwards, Ryo put the Bikky-Bread Man and Carol Pick Pocket Hood to sleep as he joined the others in the living room. Dee, Ryo, and Rose all sat on the couch facing Ted, Drake, and JJ who were sitting on chairs. The loud ticking of the clock could be heard as the six companions stared back and forth at one another. Every once and a while, emerald eyes would shoot darts to big kawaii blue ones, while piercing hazel orbs would meet hesistant chocolate ones.
Any longer, and it would of felt as if everyone was in a battle, dressed in Samurai armor and waiting in silence as the wind howled. The silence was finally broken by fake coughs, uttered by Ted and Drake. Snapping back to reality, Dee, Ryo and Rose-Wolf straightend up and cleared their throats. Taking the initiative, Rose-Wolf began his interrogation:
"Alright, you guys said you used to be humans, am I correct?" the commish asked.
"Yeah, that is until JJ here decided he wanted to bake some cookies" Ted volunteered the info as he pointed to JJ.
"JJ, is that true?" Rose asked.
"Yeah...but it wasn't my fault! See, I bought this potion called Rainbow Essence from this magic chick from the market. I followed the direction and everything, but I don't understand why we are the way we are."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that after we ate JJ's cookies, POOF! We turned into pigs!" Drake replied.
"Hmmm" Rose hummed as he stroke his chin with is paws. After several minutes of "hmmm-ing" and looking cool, Rose said:
"Is it just me, or am I just plain HOT?" Making everyone sigh and drop their heads in defeat. After several more moments of silence, an idea clicked in Ryo's sharp mind.
"Wait...what were the shape of your cookies?" Ryo asked, putting two and two together.
"Come on Ryo! How's that gonna help?" Dee exclaimed.
"No, really Dee...I know it has something to do with the cookies. Look, we baked Bikky in the form of a gingerbread man and he came alive. The thing is, WE didn't eat him. So there's got to be some connection to it all." Ryo explained to everyone.
Nodding their heads in unison, the companions all started thinking there was some logic behind Ryo's idea.
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[The Present: Ryo, Bikky, and Dee]
"Mr. Laytner, is what you're telling us the truth?" detective McLean asks.
"Mostly, yes" Dee replies.
Slamming his fist on the table, Bikky points an accusing finger to Dee:
"I want the truth dammit!" Causing Kit to shout "Yeah!" in the background.
Shooting laser beams at Bikky, Dee growls: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
"ORDER! ORDER I SAY! ORDER IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM!" Kit shouts, getting into a boxing stance.
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[Narrator: Dee]
Like I said:
Nodding their heads in unison, the companions all started thinking there was some logic behind Ryo's idea. But what?...they had no clue.
"OOOHH! I know!" JJ volunteered.
"What?" everyone else answered.
"Maybe...they're evil cookies!" JJ said, holding his face in horror."Cookies that turn you into monsters if you don't find a cure! WE'RE DOOMED!!!! I don't want to die as a PIG!!!! Dee, save me you big hunka HUNK!!!" the lavender hair pig said as he jumped straight into Dee's arms.
"ACK!!! GET OFF OF ME OR YOU'RE GONNA BE ROASTED!!!"
"Burn me Dee! Burn me with your loving flame!!!!" JJ shouted in joy as he continued to snuggle against Dee.
Shaking their heads in defeat, Ted, Drake, Ryo and Rose-Wolf continued their investigation as Dee wrestled JJ in the background.
"Wait a minute...what if JJ's idea is right?" Ryo asked the other three creatures. "Think about it right? I mean cookies that turn you into something! It's got to be the cookies!"
"Now that I think about it, JJ's cookies were in the form of PIGS. He said that they reminded him of the Three Little Pigs, which was his favorite story." Drake commented.
"Or maybe it was because police officers are called Pigs? Hahhahahaha...hey!" Ted scowled as he finally understood the inside joke.
"Wait, you guys are also officers?" Ryo asked.
"Not just officers, we're detectives. Recently, an outlaw by the name of Diana Spacey has been spreading her rainbow essence concoction, declaring it would bring happiness to all. So, Ted, JJ, and I decided to check things out." Drake replied.
"Bozo over there bought the rainbow essence so we could do some lab testing. The three of us were gonna hang out at JJ's and try to solve this case and we decided we wanted some home made cookies. Just to bring us closer to home, ya know?" Ted finally finished.
"Uh-huh...so, what happened next?" Rose-Wolf finally asked.
"Well, JJ rolled them into pigs and we ate 'em. Then POOF! We all turned to pigs!" Ted and Drake replied in unison.
"Bingo!" Rose-Wolf snapped his fingers together. "It's all coming together now!" he shouted, stopping Dee and JJ in their tracks.
"Diana sells rainbow essence...who buys them? BAKERS! Well, the bakers use it in their recipe and bakes their pastries in all sorts of forms. If they eat it, what happens?"
"They all turn into stone!" JJ shouted
Bopping JJ on the head, Dee scowls and waits for Rose-Wolf to continue as JJ rubs the top of his head.
"No...anyways, they all turn into the forms of their cookies. For example, Ted, Drake, and JJ all ate cookies in the shape of pigs, and now, they are pigs!" Rose-Wolf finished.
**Kit turns on the APPLAUD sign and everyone clap their hands in unison**
"Thank you, thank you" Rose-Wolf replies as he bows down again and again.
"But how are we supposed to change back?" JJ replied.
"Who knows? Maybe never!" Rose-Wolf replied as he pointed a paw to the sky.
"Oh no!!! I'm doomed!!!!" JJ cries.
Suddenly, the lights go out. Shouts of "Hey!", "Who's there?", and "There goes my light bulb" bounces off the wall. A single light comes back on, focusing on Dee and a huge staircase. Looking around, Dee calls out for Ryo and the other guys but receives no reply. Curious, Dee climbs the stairs. Dramatic music comes on, kinda like when the hero discovers a sword or something. Climbing the staircase, Dee sees a beautiful bed with transparent veils, hiding the figure.
Automatically, Dee starts spouting:
"I've made it love, oh I have. I've crossed the plains of a thousand thorns, to rescue you for I have sworn...with this body and my courage, I shall vanquish the evil queen's wrath." Holding a palm to his heart.
Dee finally reaches the bed and pours out his heart:
"This is it...the moment I have been waiting for" Dee says aloud. "This is destiny...this is fate...with one kiss, you shall awake." Sweeping the veils aside, Dee leans in close to the figure.
Inching closer to the bed, Dee sees a sign that says: "Kiss me and make me yours" -Sleeping Piggy
"What the?!!!" Dee shouts as JJ comes awake and jumps on him.
"I knew it was love!!!!" JJ snorted as he kissed Dee all over, causing them to fall and roll down the stairs.
The lights all come on, showing Rose, Ted, Drake and Ryo. Clenching their stomachs, Rose-Wolf and the guys, except Ryo laugh as tears form from their eyes. Rolling to the bottom of the steps, Dee and JJ landed with a "Humph!". Seeing a pair of shoes in front of him, Dee looked up as he saw Ryo scowling at him. Still laughing, Rose-Wolf cracked jokes as Ted and Drake resumed laughing.
"Hey Dee! Is that how you like your bacon? Hahhahahhahha"
"Hey Dee! Are you going to name your kid Hamlet? Hahhahahha"
Annoyed, Dee's shoe hits Rose-Wolf, causing him to fall off stage. "Oooh's" and "Ahhhs" echoed from the audience as they felt Rose's pain. Thunder strikes, causing blue waves of lighting to flash here and there, setting fire to JJ's pig tail. Clad in a leather jacket with blue jeans, one knee on the ground, the other bent, Dee remained still. Lifting his chin, Dee looks around. Standing upright, wearing some shades and carrying a gun, Dee mumbled:
"Come with me if you want to live" cocking his shotgun.
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[The Present: Ryo, Bikky, and Dee]
"Is that all of it?" the good cop said.
"Yes...you'll grant me safe custody?" Dee asked.
"Well duh Bozo! we keep ya safe in exchange for your story" Bikky said crossing his arms.
Suddenly, a knock echoed through the silent apartment. Wondering who it was, Ryo and Bikky got on either side of the door. They were doing the "On 3, open the door and shoot" routine. Counting to themselves, Bikky and Ryo nodded their heads, counted to 3 and opened the door.
"FREEZE!" they both shouted to the culprits who were after Dee.
Standing in the doorway, Rose, Drake, Ted and JJ all stood with sleeping bags and a stuffed animal their arms.
Raising an eyebrow, Rose snickered:
"Say hello to my little friend!" (Scarface *^-^*)
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Moral of the Day: When in doubt, piggy out!
Chapter 4 finally finished!!! Yes! Special shout out to Anana who helped suggest the Sleeping Beauty parody...I know and I'm sorry if I didn't use it through the whole story...I didn't want to ruin what I already had written...thanks though! *^-^*
Anyways, have you all noticed that I've been spelling Dee's last name wrong? It's actually Latener...but I like spelling it Laytner as other authors do so I'm sticking to it...anyway, I hope this chapter cracked you up a lot cuz I sure had fun! Thanks for reading and hope you'll continue reviewing!
By the by, prom was off the hook! I tooks some pictures and chose the prom package..boy, did I get ripped off! I'm still mad over that!
^*>o<*^:Damn it, Ryo and Dee got away! I was THIS close to owning them...
^*^o^*<: I, the great Sanami Matoh owns Ryo, Dee, and all of FAKE!
Dee's stories are parodies of Grimm's Fairy Tales, some insights of Disney classics, and a little bit of Mother Goose.
######################################################################## ####
Dee's Grimm Fairy Tales
Told By: Kit_Yang +<^-^>+
Tale Four: The NYC Pigs +<(^oo^)>+
"Ahhhhh! Nothing feels better than a day of relaxation!" Dee exclaimed as he flopped down on the sofa cushions.
"Yeah, I agree...but why would Rose give us a vacation on the same day?" Ryo asked as he brought two cups of coffee.
"You know me, I am a man of persuasion after all!" Dee snickered as he recalled earlier events. Grabbing his cup of coffee and muttered "thanks babe", Dee took a sip and relaxed.
Putting two and two together, the blonde looked over at Dee with a 'I know what you did' look.
"What?" Dee asked
"You bribed him with the story, didn't you?" Ryo smirked
"Hey, it was either that or my check...which would you choose?" Dee said holding up two fingers.
"I would've chosen both" Ryo replied back, sipping his coffee and wondering how in the hell Rose gave up that easily.
"Well, it could've been worse...I mean, heck if it was you trying to bribe me, you'd probably use sex...ACK!" Dee immediately stopped in his tracks and covered his mouth. Looking over at Ryo, Dee cursed himself for being so stupid. 'Oh no...I know that look' Dee thought as he gulped nervously.
"Hahhaha...ur...now Ryo, I was just joking!" Dee said with half a smile.
Grinning naughtily, Ryo took both he and Dee's cups and placed them on the coffee table. Turning to Dee, Ryo licked his lips as as he placed his hands on Dee's chest. Sweat dropping, Dee realized he just landed himself in deep crap. 'Great...so much for my three day vacation...now Ryo's gonna whine until he gets to hear it.' Dee thought as Ryo started kissing his neck. 'There is a GOD!!!! WAIT! What am I thinking?' he thought as he struggled to stay focus. Sitting on top of Dee now, Ryo continued to assault Dee's neck, hoping the man would give in.
Pushing Ryo's shoulders, Dee continued to fight as desired filled his lower half. Moans of pleasure filled the air as Dee slowly lost himself in Ryo's gentle kisses. Hearing Dee's purrs convinced the fair haired man that his lover was slowly losing himself in pleasure. 'Now's the time' Ryo thought. With that, Ryo leaned over and whispered in Dee's ear:
"Finish the story koi" he whispered seductively.
"Uh? Do wh-what?"
Nipping gently at Dee's neck, Ryo continued driving Dee crazy. The man was so easy to arouse, Ryo thought.
"What happened to the creature?" Ryo asked as he stared at Dee. Slowly undoing his buttons, Ryo continued to stare at his lover as he gently rubbed his groin against Dee's slowly. Moaning, Dee sat up and hooked his arms around Ryo's back. Kissing Ryo's neck, Dee ignored Ryo's question.
"Dee...Dee! Are you listening to me?" Ryo asked as he cupped Dee's face in his palms and gave his lover a pout.
"What? Of course I am! You were talkin' about fireflies that get stuck in the sky. Hakuna Matata baby." Dee answered lamely as he gazed at his gorgeous babe.
"Dee, you're so weird" Ryo laughed as he gave Dee a kiss to the cheek. "Really now, what happened?"
"Ryo, we're on vacation...what makes you think I want to waste it by continuing the story? We could be doing other things." Dee suggested as he showed Ryo just what he was talkin' about. Just as he was about to kiss Ryo, his face was pinched by small fingers, causing him to yelp in pain. Turning around, Dee let out a:
"ACK! BIKKY!"
"Hahahhahaha!" the boy laughed as he pointed a finger to Dee.
"Damn you!" Dee shouted as he prepared to jump Bikky, only to be stopped by Ryo's strong arms. "Ryo, let me go! I'm gonna smack some manners into that heathen!"
"Now Dee..." Ryo replied in a serious tone.
"Yeah you lame ass, maybe you should listen to Ryo here. You might make it out alive!" Bikky remarked as he crossed his arms and pointed his nose into the air.
"You better talk big while you can, DOPEY! Cuz after I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you ate that damn poisoned apple!" Dee continued to growl.
"Psst! Hey, Guys! Keep it real now huh?" Kit whispers from the back.
"And YOU! I'm tired of you giving us some cheesy lines. What's up with that? Maybe you should get your ass back to work!" Dee shouts.
A vein pops up from Kit's forehead. Pulling a bazooka from her back, Kit points it directly at Dee, making him sweat drop.
"Care to say that again Laytner?" Kit warns.
"Urm...hahahhaa...just kidding" Dee says nervously as Ryo sighs in defeat.
"Alright then...marker one, Act IV, and ACTION!" Kit shouts.
"You better talk big while you can, DOPEY! Cuz after I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you ate that damn poisoned apple!" Dee continued to growl.
"Bring it on whipperella!" Bikky said as he continued to ignore Dee.
Giving up, Ryo got up and headed to the kitchen as the two continued bickering. 'Maybe cooking dinner will earn me the story. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' Ryo thought as he snickered. After dinner, the dishes were all cleared as Dee, Ryo, and Bikky sat at the table wondering what to do next. The next thing he knew, Dee's wrists were handcuffed together as he was staring into space.
"What the?" Dee asked as he shot Ryo a questioning look. Suddenly, it hit him...Ryo wasn't going to let him go that easily. Looking up, Dee thought Ryo was really getting tired of this cat and mouse game. There his lover stood, hair slicked back with his arms crossed in front of him. Next to him stood Bikky, clean and tough looking in the same pose. Both silently told him he wasn't getting away this time.
"I want some answers Detective Laytner and I refuse to wait any longer." Ryo said calmly. "We can do it the hard way or the easy way. But I warn you, I cannot guarantee you safety unless you cooperate." Ryo replied as he leaned forward with his palms on the table top.
Looking over his shoulder and pointing at Bikky:
"See my buddy here? He has a short fuse and is easily angered. If you keep refusing to give us answers, I'm afraid we'll have to play good cop, bad cop. So what's it going to be?" Ryo asked as he raised an eyebrow to Dee.
"Tch. I'm not going to talk that easily." Dee mumbled
"Don't you understand? We're the only ones who can help you. We know that others are out there for your story. They're coming for you, even as we speak. You can either tell us while you're in our custody, or we hand you to them. Either way, we'll get the story."
"Yeah bozo, so you better shape up and talk or else!" Bikky remarked.
Thinking to himself, Dee knew he couldn't escape. It's what he deserved for underestimating the importance of the evidence. He thought it best if he let Ryo take down his story before he was ganged up by Ted, Drake, and JJ. He knew they were coming...when? he did not know. All he knew was that he'd rather be safe than have five million bullet holes shot in him for his story. Giving up, Dee sighed and decided to place his life into the hands of the two interrogators. Shaking his head in agreement, Dee remained quiet as he thought how best to word his story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
[Narrator: Dee]
"Stop in the name of the law!" Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf all shouted as they pointed their guns to the creature.
Wobbling to and fro, the creature let out a "EEEK!!!" and started swaying as it tried to keep it's balance. To no avail, it fell and seperated into three different parts. Moans and groans could be heard from the shadows as the individual parts started to wiggle to an upright position.
Staring at the creature and wondering what the heck it was, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf gestured for Carol Pick Pocket Hood and the Bikky-Bread Man to go inside. Grabbing Carol's arm, the Bikky-Bread Man dragged her along to safety. Peeping out the window, the two young ones stared out the window, wondering what was going to happen.
Slowly walking towards it, the three men stared at one another and nodded their heads. Each aiming at the individual parts, Rose-Wolf asked:
"What the heck are you and why are you here?"
"Who, me?"
"No, he was talking to me!"
"Ah shut up you two! Geez, I'm getting a head-ache!" another voice replied.
One by one, the three body parts slowly walked into the light. With the sun reflecting on them, flashes of pink could be seen. Covering their eyes from the bright light, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf covered their eyes with their arms. Standing in broad daylight now, the three body parts brushed off dirt from their shoulders and let out snorts.
As the bright light suddenly faded, the three guys brought down their arms and stared in shock. In front of them stood three little pigs...one with brown hair, one with red, and the other with lavender hair. In shock, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf all stared at them with open mouths.
"Geez, we don't look that bad!" the red hair replied.
"Are you guys okay?" the brown hair asked, waving his hoove in front of him.
"What a stud!" the lavender hair replied.
Moments passed by as Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf continued staring at the three rudely. Shaking out of their daze, Ryo and Rose-Wolf came back to their senses except for Dee. Still gawking at the three, Dee lost himself in shock. Staring at his lover, Ryo smacked Dee on the cheek, bringing him back to Earth.
"OWww!" Dee whined as he rubbed his cheek.
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[The Present: Ryo, Bikky, and Dee]
"So, what happened next Mr. Laytner?"
"It's hard to remember exactly" Dee says.
"Are you gonna spill it or do I have to hurt ya moron?" Bikky threatens.
"Hurt me and I won't say anything else." Dee sneers.
"Now Bikky, simmer down...I'll handle it okay? Once again Mr. Laytner, what happened?" Ryo asks calmly.
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[Narrator: Dee]
"Owww!" Dee whined as he rubbed his cheek. Staring at the three pigs once again, Dee, Ryo, and Rose-Wolf introduced themselves. After introductions were made, Dee asked the pigs out of curiosity:
"Who are you guys?"
"Um...we're the three NYC Pigs" the three said in unison, finishing up with a dance routine.
"I'm Drake" said the brown hair pig.
"Yours truly, Ted" the red hair pointed to himself.
"And I'm your number one fan, JJ!" the lavender hair pig said as he jumped and grabbed onto Dee's arms.
"ACK! Let go!" Dee shouted as he tried shaking JJ from his arms. The more Dee shook, the more the pig held on while declaring his undying love for the raven hair man. 'This is ridiculous' Ryo thought as a vein popped up from his forehead. Turning to Ted and Drake, Ryo invited the them inside for some tea and cookies. Shooting Dee a murderous look, Ryo turned his back to his lover and headed inside the hut. Smirking, Rose shot Dee an "I'm gonna get your man" look and proceeded after Ryo.
"Don't you dare touch my Ryo, you animal!" Dee shouted as JJ changed tactics and tackled him to the ground. Shouts of "ACK!!! Let me go!" and "Never ever! You're my mean, Dee, Love Machine!!!!" echoed through the silence of the forest.
The afternoon faded into evening as dinner was served. Everyone joined in and started chowing down. Afterwards, Ryo put the Bikky-Bread Man and Carol Pick Pocket Hood to sleep as he joined the others in the living room. Dee, Ryo, and Rose all sat on the couch facing Ted, Drake, and JJ who were sitting on chairs. The loud ticking of the clock could be heard as the six companions stared back and forth at one another. Every once and a while, emerald eyes would shoot darts to big kawaii blue ones, while piercing hazel orbs would meet hesistant chocolate ones.
Any longer, and it would of felt as if everyone was in a battle, dressed in Samurai armor and waiting in silence as the wind howled. The silence was finally broken by fake coughs, uttered by Ted and Drake. Snapping back to reality, Dee, Ryo and Rose-Wolf straightend up and cleared their throats. Taking the initiative, Rose-Wolf began his interrogation:
"Alright, you guys said you used to be humans, am I correct?" the commish asked.
"Yeah, that is until JJ here decided he wanted to bake some cookies" Ted volunteered the info as he pointed to JJ.
"JJ, is that true?" Rose asked.
"Yeah...but it wasn't my fault! See, I bought this potion called Rainbow Essence from this magic chick from the market. I followed the direction and everything, but I don't understand why we are the way we are."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that after we ate JJ's cookies, POOF! We turned into pigs!" Drake replied.
"Hmmm" Rose hummed as he stroke his chin with is paws. After several minutes of "hmmm-ing" and looking cool, Rose said:
"Is it just me, or am I just plain HOT?" Making everyone sigh and drop their heads in defeat. After several more moments of silence, an idea clicked in Ryo's sharp mind.
"Wait...what were the shape of your cookies?" Ryo asked, putting two and two together.
"Come on Ryo! How's that gonna help?" Dee exclaimed.
"No, really Dee...I know it has something to do with the cookies. Look, we baked Bikky in the form of a gingerbread man and he came alive. The thing is, WE didn't eat him. So there's got to be some connection to it all." Ryo explained to everyone.
Nodding their heads in unison, the companions all started thinking there was some logic behind Ryo's idea.
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[The Present: Ryo, Bikky, and Dee]
"Mr. Laytner, is what you're telling us the truth?" detective McLean asks.
"Mostly, yes" Dee replies.
Slamming his fist on the table, Bikky points an accusing finger to Dee:
"I want the truth dammit!" Causing Kit to shout "Yeah!" in the background.
Shooting laser beams at Bikky, Dee growls: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
"ORDER! ORDER I SAY! ORDER IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM!" Kit shouts, getting into a boxing stance.
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[Narrator: Dee]
Like I said:
Nodding their heads in unison, the companions all started thinking there was some logic behind Ryo's idea. But what?...they had no clue.
"OOOHH! I know!" JJ volunteered.
"What?" everyone else answered.
"Maybe...they're evil cookies!" JJ said, holding his face in horror."Cookies that turn you into monsters if you don't find a cure! WE'RE DOOMED!!!! I don't want to die as a PIG!!!! Dee, save me you big hunka HUNK!!!" the lavender hair pig said as he jumped straight into Dee's arms.
"ACK!!! GET OFF OF ME OR YOU'RE GONNA BE ROASTED!!!"
"Burn me Dee! Burn me with your loving flame!!!!" JJ shouted in joy as he continued to snuggle against Dee.
Shaking their heads in defeat, Ted, Drake, Ryo and Rose-Wolf continued their investigation as Dee wrestled JJ in the background.
"Wait a minute...what if JJ's idea is right?" Ryo asked the other three creatures. "Think about it right? I mean cookies that turn you into something! It's got to be the cookies!"
"Now that I think about it, JJ's cookies were in the form of PIGS. He said that they reminded him of the Three Little Pigs, which was his favorite story." Drake commented.
"Or maybe it was because police officers are called Pigs? Hahhahahaha...hey!" Ted scowled as he finally understood the inside joke.
"Wait, you guys are also officers?" Ryo asked.
"Not just officers, we're detectives. Recently, an outlaw by the name of Diana Spacey has been spreading her rainbow essence concoction, declaring it would bring happiness to all. So, Ted, JJ, and I decided to check things out." Drake replied.
"Bozo over there bought the rainbow essence so we could do some lab testing. The three of us were gonna hang out at JJ's and try to solve this case and we decided we wanted some home made cookies. Just to bring us closer to home, ya know?" Ted finally finished.
"Uh-huh...so, what happened next?" Rose-Wolf finally asked.
"Well, JJ rolled them into pigs and we ate 'em. Then POOF! We all turned to pigs!" Ted and Drake replied in unison.
"Bingo!" Rose-Wolf snapped his fingers together. "It's all coming together now!" he shouted, stopping Dee and JJ in their tracks.
"Diana sells rainbow essence...who buys them? BAKERS! Well, the bakers use it in their recipe and bakes their pastries in all sorts of forms. If they eat it, what happens?"
"They all turn into stone!" JJ shouted
Bopping JJ on the head, Dee scowls and waits for Rose-Wolf to continue as JJ rubs the top of his head.
"No...anyways, they all turn into the forms of their cookies. For example, Ted, Drake, and JJ all ate cookies in the shape of pigs, and now, they are pigs!" Rose-Wolf finished.
**Kit turns on the APPLAUD sign and everyone clap their hands in unison**
"Thank you, thank you" Rose-Wolf replies as he bows down again and again.
"But how are we supposed to change back?" JJ replied.
"Who knows? Maybe never!" Rose-Wolf replied as he pointed a paw to the sky.
"Oh no!!! I'm doomed!!!!" JJ cries.
Suddenly, the lights go out. Shouts of "Hey!", "Who's there?", and "There goes my light bulb" bounces off the wall. A single light comes back on, focusing on Dee and a huge staircase. Looking around, Dee calls out for Ryo and the other guys but receives no reply. Curious, Dee climbs the stairs. Dramatic music comes on, kinda like when the hero discovers a sword or something. Climbing the staircase, Dee sees a beautiful bed with transparent veils, hiding the figure.
Automatically, Dee starts spouting:
"I've made it love, oh I have. I've crossed the plains of a thousand thorns, to rescue you for I have sworn...with this body and my courage, I shall vanquish the evil queen's wrath." Holding a palm to his heart.
Dee finally reaches the bed and pours out his heart:
"This is it...the moment I have been waiting for" Dee says aloud. "This is destiny...this is fate...with one kiss, you shall awake." Sweeping the veils aside, Dee leans in close to the figure.
Inching closer to the bed, Dee sees a sign that says: "Kiss me and make me yours" -Sleeping Piggy
"What the?!!!" Dee shouts as JJ comes awake and jumps on him.
"I knew it was love!!!!" JJ snorted as he kissed Dee all over, causing them to fall and roll down the stairs.
The lights all come on, showing Rose, Ted, Drake and Ryo. Clenching their stomachs, Rose-Wolf and the guys, except Ryo laugh as tears form from their eyes. Rolling to the bottom of the steps, Dee and JJ landed with a "Humph!". Seeing a pair of shoes in front of him, Dee looked up as he saw Ryo scowling at him. Still laughing, Rose-Wolf cracked jokes as Ted and Drake resumed laughing.
"Hey Dee! Is that how you like your bacon? Hahhahahhahha"
"Hey Dee! Are you going to name your kid Hamlet? Hahhahahha"
Annoyed, Dee's shoe hits Rose-Wolf, causing him to fall off stage. "Oooh's" and "Ahhhs" echoed from the audience as they felt Rose's pain. Thunder strikes, causing blue waves of lighting to flash here and there, setting fire to JJ's pig tail. Clad in a leather jacket with blue jeans, one knee on the ground, the other bent, Dee remained still. Lifting his chin, Dee looks around. Standing upright, wearing some shades and carrying a gun, Dee mumbled:
"Come with me if you want to live" cocking his shotgun.
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[The Present: Ryo, Bikky, and Dee]
"Is that all of it?" the good cop said.
"Yes...you'll grant me safe custody?" Dee asked.
"Well duh Bozo! we keep ya safe in exchange for your story" Bikky said crossing his arms.
Suddenly, a knock echoed through the silent apartment. Wondering who it was, Ryo and Bikky got on either side of the door. They were doing the "On 3, open the door and shoot" routine. Counting to themselves, Bikky and Ryo nodded their heads, counted to 3 and opened the door.
"FREEZE!" they both shouted to the culprits who were after Dee.
Standing in the doorway, Rose, Drake, Ted and JJ all stood with sleeping bags and a stuffed animal their arms.
Raising an eyebrow, Rose snickered:
"Say hello to my little friend!" (Scarface *^-^*)
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Moral of the Day: When in doubt, piggy out!
Chapter 4 finally finished!!! Yes! Special shout out to Anana who helped suggest the Sleeping Beauty parody...I know and I'm sorry if I didn't use it through the whole story...I didn't want to ruin what I already had written...thanks though! *^-^*
Anyways, have you all noticed that I've been spelling Dee's last name wrong? It's actually Latener...but I like spelling it Laytner as other authors do so I'm sticking to it...anyway, I hope this chapter cracked you up a lot cuz I sure had fun! Thanks for reading and hope you'll continue reviewing!
By the by, prom was off the hook! I tooks some pictures and chose the prom package..boy, did I get ripped off! I'm still mad over that!