Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ The Abridged Script Archive ❯ Parasite Eve (PSX) ( Chapter 10 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: jbullions 
The short mockery script for Parasite Eve.
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.11.2002 | Updated On: 10.13.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 756 | Visits: 471 | Status: Completed
The short mockery script for Parasite Eve.
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.11.2002 | Updated On: 10.13.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 756 | Visits: 471 | Status: Completed
PARASITE EVE: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT
By Jack Bullions
INT. SQUARE STUDIO
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER and FELLOW CONSPIRATOR meets
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER and discuss about a possible
game together.
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER
(to friend)
Har. Har. We will teach Americans
a lesson not to compete with us in
the RPG market.
FELLOW CONSPIRATOR
(to friend)
Agreed. Their American football,
beer-guzzling, lazy antics can not
hope to match our incredible
needlessly convoluted games. Let's
make a game with them and show how
inferior they are.
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER
So what are we going to make?
Dragons? Warriors? Magic?
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER
None of that. We will make a game
all-American. We could even base
it in an American city called New
York with a tough American cop.
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER
I'm catching on. We'll have guns!
Explosions! Fast cars!
FELLOW CONSPIRATOR
Yes and we will use some obscene
psuedo-scientific storyline as the
backdrop.
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER
And we'll use a woman rather than
our male heroes this time because
Americans are all about sex.
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER
Wow! To think this may put Square
of America on the gaming map.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Actually, your company is nothing
more than a cruel Japanese joke,
and this game will do nothing to
prove otherwise.
INT. SOME HUMAN BLOODTSREAM
MITOCHONDRION #1
I'm sick of making all this energy
for our cells. Such slavery.
MITOCHONDRION #2
I'm with you on that. Let's defy
common sense biology and steal the
bodies and warp them into deadly
mutants for our own use.
The Mitochondria CACKLE.
GEORGE LUCAS
Mitochondria? Hey, that gives me a
great idea for my very own obscene
pseudo-sci-fi-fantasy story!
INT. CARNEGIE HALL
AYA BREA, the American NYPD rookie cop is watching MELISSA
PEARCE aka EVE's play with some COMPUTER GRAPHIC date.
MELISSA PEARCE
(waves arm)
Oh no, it's that time of the month
again.
Suddenly, a CUT SEQUENCE, and Eve uses intense powers of
the Mitochondria to EXPLODE people left and right except
for Aya Brea.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Interesting. How could a simple
woman do that? My detective
instincts tell me to investigate.
Aya Brea steps to the stage and BATTLES Melissa. Melissa
LOSES.
MELISSA PEARCE
(waves arm)
I must flee!
She smacks Aya Brea with a CUT SEQUENCE, and runs away in
some slow-paced manner. Aya Brea wakes up and chases after
her in some slow-paced manner.
INT. BACK STAGE SOMEWHERE
Huge-ass MUTANT RATS and some PARROT ambush Aya Brea. Aya
Brea uses her intense concentration of Mitochodria,
although she doesn't know it yet, with her GUN to BEAT
them.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Shit. I have no ammo left for
anymore fights.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
No problem.
Aya pulls open closet drawers instead of treasure chests
because this is America and picks up many AMMUNITION and
some BODY ARMOR. This is OBSCENE GAME LOGIC.
Aya Brea runs into Melissa again. Melissa TURNS INTO Eve
and they BATTLE. Melissa LOSES again and slaps many CUT
SEQUENCES on Aya Brea to run away.
INT. AMERICAN POLICE STATION
Aya Brea wakes up from the cut sequences.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Odd. I seem to recognize this
Melissa. We must have a
connection. Where are my allies?
Enter TOKEN VETERAN COP and JAPANESE SCIENTIST HERO.
TOKEN VETERAN COP
(waves arm)
I am very serious about my work.
See? I'm black, and a veteran cop.
I'm so serious, let me introduce
you to my son, Sub-plot, who I do
not pay much attention to.
JAPANESE SCIENTIST HERO
(waves arm)
I am Asian that means I am a super
genius and pacifist and the guy to
root for because I am hopelessly in
love with you.
They EXPLAIN PLOT to her using many CUT SEQUENCES.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Makes sense to me now. This is
certainly a threat to all citizens
including the world if Mitochodria
are involved. We have to evacuate
the city immediately.
SOME ANONYMOUS NEW YORK MAYOR
(waves arm)
Done.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
What? We evacuated over eight
million people just like that?
Amazing. Let's kill Eve now.
SOME OTHER COP
(waves arm)
You'll need more weapons.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Don't worry. I can just pick them
all up on the streets. This is
American New York City with guns
everywhere after all.
After many CUT SEQUENCES --
INT. AMERICAN NAVY CRUISER
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
The ignorance of this game alone is
enough to kill you. Time to die,
Eve.
MELISSA PEARCE
I'll save you the trouble.
Melissa waves her arm and leaps into the water.
GAME OVER.
By Jack Bullions
INT. SQUARE STUDIO
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER and FELLOW CONSPIRATOR meets
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER and discuss about a possible
game together.
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER
(to friend)
Har. Har. We will teach Americans
a lesson not to compete with us in
the RPG market.
FELLOW CONSPIRATOR
(to friend)
Agreed. Their American football,
beer-guzzling, lazy antics can not
hope to match our incredible
needlessly convoluted games. Let's
make a game with them and show how
inferior they are.
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER
So what are we going to make?
Dragons? Warriors? Magic?
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER
None of that. We will make a game
all-American. We could even base
it in an American city called New
York with a tough American cop.
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER
I'm catching on. We'll have guns!
Explosions! Fast cars!
FELLOW CONSPIRATOR
Yes and we will use some obscene
psuedo-scientific storyline as the
backdrop.
CRAFTY SQUARE DEVELOPER
And we'll use a woman rather than
our male heroes this time because
Americans are all about sex.
SCAPEGOAT AMERICAN DEVELOPER
Wow! To think this may put Square
of America on the gaming map.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Actually, your company is nothing
more than a cruel Japanese joke,
and this game will do nothing to
prove otherwise.
INT. SOME HUMAN BLOODTSREAM
MITOCHONDRION #1
I'm sick of making all this energy
for our cells. Such slavery.
MITOCHONDRION #2
I'm with you on that. Let's defy
common sense biology and steal the
bodies and warp them into deadly
mutants for our own use.
The Mitochondria CACKLE.
GEORGE LUCAS
Mitochondria? Hey, that gives me a
great idea for my very own obscene
pseudo-sci-fi-fantasy story!
INT. CARNEGIE HALL
AYA BREA, the American NYPD rookie cop is watching MELISSA
PEARCE aka EVE's play with some COMPUTER GRAPHIC date.
MELISSA PEARCE
(waves arm)
Oh no, it's that time of the month
again.
Suddenly, a CUT SEQUENCE, and Eve uses intense powers of
the Mitochondria to EXPLODE people left and right except
for Aya Brea.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Interesting. How could a simple
woman do that? My detective
instincts tell me to investigate.
Aya Brea steps to the stage and BATTLES Melissa. Melissa
LOSES.
MELISSA PEARCE
(waves arm)
I must flee!
She smacks Aya Brea with a CUT SEQUENCE, and runs away in
some slow-paced manner. Aya Brea wakes up and chases after
her in some slow-paced manner.
INT. BACK STAGE SOMEWHERE
Huge-ass MUTANT RATS and some PARROT ambush Aya Brea. Aya
Brea uses her intense concentration of Mitochodria,
although she doesn't know it yet, with her GUN to BEAT
them.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Shit. I have no ammo left for
anymore fights.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
No problem.
Aya pulls open closet drawers instead of treasure chests
because this is America and picks up many AMMUNITION and
some BODY ARMOR. This is OBSCENE GAME LOGIC.
Aya Brea runs into Melissa again. Melissa TURNS INTO Eve
and they BATTLE. Melissa LOSES again and slaps many CUT
SEQUENCES on Aya Brea to run away.
INT. AMERICAN POLICE STATION
Aya Brea wakes up from the cut sequences.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Odd. I seem to recognize this
Melissa. We must have a
connection. Where are my allies?
Enter TOKEN VETERAN COP and JAPANESE SCIENTIST HERO.
TOKEN VETERAN COP
(waves arm)
I am very serious about my work.
See? I'm black, and a veteran cop.
I'm so serious, let me introduce
you to my son, Sub-plot, who I do
not pay much attention to.
JAPANESE SCIENTIST HERO
(waves arm)
I am Asian that means I am a super
genius and pacifist and the guy to
root for because I am hopelessly in
love with you.
They EXPLAIN PLOT to her using many CUT SEQUENCES.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Makes sense to me now. This is
certainly a threat to all citizens
including the world if Mitochodria
are involved. We have to evacuate
the city immediately.
SOME ANONYMOUS NEW YORK MAYOR
(waves arm)
Done.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
What? We evacuated over eight
million people just like that?
Amazing. Let's kill Eve now.
SOME OTHER COP
(waves arm)
You'll need more weapons.
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
Don't worry. I can just pick them
all up on the streets. This is
American New York City with guns
everywhere after all.
After many CUT SEQUENCES --
INT. AMERICAN NAVY CRUISER
AYA BREA
(waves arm)
The ignorance of this game alone is
enough to kill you. Time to die,
Eve.
MELISSA PEARCE
I'll save you the trouble.
Melissa waves her arm and leaps into the water.
GAME OVER.