Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ The Abridged Script Archive ❯ SaGa Frontier (PSX) ( Chapter 12 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: jbullions 
The short mockery script for SaGa Frontier
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.11.2002 | Updated On: 10.13.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 411 | Visits: 385 | Status: Completed
The short mockery script for SaGa Frontier
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.11.2002 | Updated On: 10.13.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 411 | Visits: 385 | Status: Completed
SaGa FRONTIER: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT
By Jack Bullions
INT. SCRAPTOWN BAR
A couple of CLICHÉ CHARACTERS walk into the bar. They bump
around absently with no clear direction where to go.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Whee! Back to Super Nintendo
graphics.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER LUTE
I am here to form a band, but I
do not know how to proceed. Who
will want to come with me?
CLICHÉ CHARACTER T-260
Interesting. Allow this mecha to
join you after mecha introduced
completes its task to discover the
meaning of real life.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER BLUE
I, too, will join but I first must
kill my brother to become the
ultimate and bestest magician in
the world.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER RED
I must become the greatest comic
book hero ever!
CLICHÉ CHARACTER ASELLUS
I may consider joining you. A
rich man ran me over because I am
poor and I somehow survived with
transfusion of Mystic blood. This
made me super-hero!
Characters ROLL ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.
SQUALL LEONHART
Ha-ha-ha! Hey, look at them,
everyone! And you thought our
names were ridiculous!
A couple of other CLICHÉ CHARACTERS spout some stupid
dialogue about their slightly interconnected PLOTS. They
think this is NON-LINEAR but this is a FUCKING TRAIL-MIX of
NONSENSICAL STORYLINES.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER RED
Let us quest!
Characters dart off in different directions and Video Game
Player is hit with SaGa-headaches to keep up with different
plots.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
What the fuck? You want me to play
through this monstrosity an absurd
number of times just to view each
plot in its entirety? You call
this replay value?
BACK INSIDE THE BAR
CLICHÉ CHARACTER GEN
Forget these other characters. I
will join you, Cliché Lute, for I
am the greatest swordsman. Let's
go.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER LUTE
I am so happy.
They MOVE around and BUMP into things absently.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
(scratches head)
So what the hell do I do?
CLICHÉ CHARACTER LUTE
I do not know. Let us walk
aimlessly.
They walk out of Scraptown and wander and they meet
SPRIGGAN.
SPRIGGAN
I am your end boss. Because you
have failed to fight hours of
repetitive combat, I will kill
you right now.
Spriggan WASTES Lute and Gen.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Well great. I could've skipped all
of that and gone straight to you.
Video Game Player restarts over and meets Spriggan again.
Lute and Gen get WASTED over and over.
GAME OVER.
By Jack Bullions
INT. SCRAPTOWN BAR
A couple of CLICHÉ CHARACTERS walk into the bar. They bump
around absently with no clear direction where to go.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Whee! Back to Super Nintendo
graphics.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER LUTE
I am here to form a band, but I
do not know how to proceed. Who
will want to come with me?
CLICHÉ CHARACTER T-260
Interesting. Allow this mecha to
join you after mecha introduced
completes its task to discover the
meaning of real life.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER BLUE
I, too, will join but I first must
kill my brother to become the
ultimate and bestest magician in
the world.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER RED
I must become the greatest comic
book hero ever!
CLICHÉ CHARACTER ASELLUS
I may consider joining you. A
rich man ran me over because I am
poor and I somehow survived with
transfusion of Mystic blood. This
made me super-hero!
Characters ROLL ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.
SQUALL LEONHART
Ha-ha-ha! Hey, look at them,
everyone! And you thought our
names were ridiculous!
A couple of other CLICHÉ CHARACTERS spout some stupid
dialogue about their slightly interconnected PLOTS. They
think this is NON-LINEAR but this is a FUCKING TRAIL-MIX of
NONSENSICAL STORYLINES.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER RED
Let us quest!
Characters dart off in different directions and Video Game
Player is hit with SaGa-headaches to keep up with different
plots.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
What the fuck? You want me to play
through this monstrosity an absurd
number of times just to view each
plot in its entirety? You call
this replay value?
BACK INSIDE THE BAR
CLICHÉ CHARACTER GEN
Forget these other characters. I
will join you, Cliché Lute, for I
am the greatest swordsman. Let's
go.
CLICHÉ CHARACTER LUTE
I am so happy.
They MOVE around and BUMP into things absently.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
(scratches head)
So what the hell do I do?
CLICHÉ CHARACTER LUTE
I do not know. Let us walk
aimlessly.
They walk out of Scraptown and wander and they meet
SPRIGGAN.
SPRIGGAN
I am your end boss. Because you
have failed to fight hours of
repetitive combat, I will kill
you right now.
Spriggan WASTES Lute and Gen.
VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Well great. I could've skipped all
of that and gone straight to you.
Video Game Player restarts over and meets Spriggan again.
Lute and Gen get WASTED over and over.
GAME OVER.