Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ To Love You is a Crime ❯ A World of Prejudice ( Chapter 2 )

“Disapproval of homosexuality cannot justify invading the houses, hearts and minds of citizens who choose to live their lives differently.”

Harry A. Blackmun

Selphie held her face in her tired hands. She was vexed about Quistis. When she had heard the horrible news about her good friend she didn't know what to think or say. Quistis was the strongest woman she had ever known. And just the thought of her being brutally beaten and raped to death made her sick to her stomach.

The noises from the hallway were unable to bring her out of her miserable state. Who would have thought of raping Quistis? What had she done to deserve the humility and pain of being defiled? All the time that Selphie had known her Quistis was a very pleasant person. She defiantly wasn't one to attract negative attention from those around her.

“Selphie,” Zell's voice seemed to echo around her. “Are you okay?” She looked up and into his azure eyes, tears welling in her eyes. She detested being sad. It contradicted her bubbly, joyous personality. That was the reason for her almost constant happiness. She was terrified of appearing emotionally vulnerable to other people.

“Yes…I'm fine,” she answered, trying to sound happy. Selphie always felt she had the burden of being happy placed upon her shoulders. It was her responsibility to be the happy go-lucky girl her friends saw everyday.

“Really? Because you don't sound fine,” he questioned her false statement. Selphie elevated her head and gave him a toothy smile. She was going to prove to him that she really was okay. She didn't want Zell to believe that she was becoming depressed because of this trivial event. She didn't want anyone to feel sorry for her. She was the happy one, the girl who made everyone smile, regardless of how horrendous she was feeling inside. And she wasn't going to let this destroy all she had. She was determined to retain the backbone of her persona.

“Trust me Zell,” she repeated. “I'm fine.” He shook his head at her false smile. He knew that Selphie was in as much pain as he was. And no amount of smiling was going to make him rethink his decision. He was aware that Selphie was the ultimate wearer of masks. She would fake being happy to make her and others happy. She was the most selfless person he knew.

Selphie knew that Zell was thinking about her. The way he turned his back on her, how his hand was in his spiky hair…he was so easy to read.

Selphie had spent most of her childhood with Zell, even though she didn't remember it till a year ago. She memorized all his actions, noting which ones were which. She even noted a homosexual trait that Zell had. The way he acted around men, especially good-looking men, screamed that he was gay.

Zell never mentioned this to Selphie. Probably because he was afraid of what she would consider him as. Didn't he already realize that she was a person who didn't judge? That she was a person who was unable to judge others at face value.

But what did that matter now? She lived in Balamb, a society that condemned gays and lesbians for merely expressing who they were. She fondly remembered a girl who was in the same level as her in Trabia Garden. This girl was one of her good friends and she was a lesbian. Of course,there wererules in her garden that prohibited homosexuality. Apparently, the administrators didn't want `queer' students spreading their `disgusting' views on sexuality.

In the end this girl was expelled, merely for being different. It angered Selphie, but what was she going to do about it? She was about 14 years old at that time and had no authority whatsoever. And if she even thought of trying to fight for her friend, she would have been expelled as well. It was a dark world and she was living in it.

Which was why she felt the need to be happy. She had to compensate for the misery the world had caused her. It was her duty to make others happy.

She heard the movement of feet coming in her direction. She peeked in that direction. It was Dr. Kadowaki. As she studied the doctor's features, she saw that the woman looked graver than usual.

“What's wrong Dr. Kadowaki,” she asked with sympathy. “Is it Quistis?” She nodded which caused a lump to form in Selphie's throat. Please don't let Quisty be dead. Please Hyne, please! Zell turned around and ran up to the doctor.

“Is Quisty alright? She isn't dead is she? Please tell me…I've gotta know!” he practically yelled to her face. Dr. Kadowaki grabbed the distraught boy by his shoulders and told him to calm down. Nothing was going to be solved by his frantic yelling. It was strange; he acted more like a woman at times than Selphie did!

“But is Quisty alright?” Selphie spoke up. The doctor looked at her and motioned the two to follow her. They followed her into the room where Quistis was in intensive care. It was a ghastly sight. Quistis was stuck with various tubes and wires. Her body was wrapped head to toe in bandages. What had happened to her best friend?

“What the hell happened to her?” Zell yelled in disbelief.

“Yeah what happened to poor quisty?”

“She was brutally raped and beaten by an unknown person,” she began grimly. “Her wounds while not fatal will most likely be left as scars.” Selphie felt tears invade her eyes. She wasn't going to be able to hide her feelings much longer. Suddenly her floodgates opened and tears began to pour from her eyes. She cared for Quistis more than feelings could explain.

“No, poor Quisty, she didn't deserve any of this,” Selphie sobbed. “She was the nicest person I had ever known. How could this have happened?” Zell put his arm around Selphie in a comforting manner.

“Selphie you must calm down,” the doctor admonished her outburst. “There are other people in this building besides you. I know you're very upset. I'm upset too, but you must keep yourself together! Quistis is not dead, just impaired. She will be alright.” Selphie looked to her, as if to say “really” and the doctor nodded.

“Can we stay with her?” Zell asked while emotion strained his voice. “And can you tell Squall that Quisty's here?” With that, the docter left the two alone in their misery. Selphie could barely look at Quistis without crying. To think that her best friend would have to live with the remains of that incident was too much for her to bear.

“Hey Selph,” Zell breathed to her. “Who do you think did it?” Selphie rubbed her eyes and looked straight at him.

“I really don't know,” she answered plainly. “I know it couldn't have been one of us. And the thought of Irvine, Rinoa, or Squall doing it is just too much to think about.” Zell took his hand and ran it through his hair.

“Maybe it was a homophobe,” he suggested. Selphie gave him a weird look.

“A homophobe? Why would a homophobe beat and rape Quisty? She's not even gay!” Zell shrugged.

“I dunno Selph. She looks pretty gay to me.” Selphie gave him a quick slap to the face.

“She looks gay? What's that supposed to mean?” she growled at him. No one was going to make fun of her friend, no one! Zell moved away from her in case she was going to beat the living daylights out of him. You never had any idea with Selphie.

“Whoa, calm down Selph. All I was saying is that she acted more masculine than a lot of the other girls at garden. So maybe someone got the wrong idea about her and decided to well you know.”

“How is she more masculine? She seems pretty feminine to me?”

“I dunno she just isn't very girly so maybe someone might think she's a lesbian.”

“Just because someone isn't girly doesn't make them a lesbian! Plus Quisty went out with Seify! If she was a lesbian she would have gone out with a girl!”

“Look Selph, I'm sorry I even said anything. I'm sure Quistis is as straight as a one dollar bill.” Zell had to give into Selphie. He knew that there was no point in arguing with her. He defiantly didn't want to argue with her at a time like this.

Selphie walked over to the cot that held Quistis. She looked so fragile, so weak. As if all her spirit had left her the minute, she was beaten. Selphie wanted to know the name of the degenerate who had beaten her. She wanted to get her revenge.

The door to the infirmary opened and in came Squall, Rinoa, and Irvine. They seemed very distraught. Why wouldn't they be? Quisty is in BIG trouble! Squall ran over the cot and looked over the wound, which she had sustained. He looked like he was about to cry but Selphie knew he wasn't going to shed a single tear. At least not in front of his lover and friends. Squall Leonhart was a very private man who never really cared for showing his emotions. Sometimes Selphie thought that was the reason Quistis loved him so much. She was never the emotional one herself. Everyday she came in so polite, and straight-faced. Never wasting her tears on the loss of a comrade, and barely cracking a grin, she was the ultimate ice queen.

“Selphie, Zell,” Squall called their names. “How long has she been like this?” Selphie walked over to him and gave him a comforting hug. She felt terrible for him at this time. He was the commander of Balamb Garden. And, he was the one who had the responsibility of reporting this incident and getting the perpetrator punished for it. It was going to be long night for him.

“Oh Squally,” she sighed solemnly. “She just got transferred her a few hours ago. This attack happened today!” Squall looked at her, wearing a shocked expression on his face.

“This happened today.” Selphie nodded to the question. “Then this attack is all my fault. She never should have gone downtown alone. I should have gone with her. I could have prevented this thing from happening!” Rinoa went up to her boyfriend and held him lovingly. The last thing she wanted was for the man of her dreams to be in pain.

“Squall it wasn't your fault,” Rinoa tried to comfort him. “You couldn't have foreseen this!” Squall shook his head but Irvine tried to strengthen Rinoa's argument as well.

“Squall, Rinoa's right. You couldn't have saved Quistis. You had no idea that this was going to happen. And plus if the person that hurt her was so set on hurting her and didn't hurt her today, then they probably would have hurt her tomorrow or the next day. You don't know the mind of the guilty Squall. And I don't think you'd want to.”

“But I don't understand,” Selphie got herself into the argument. “Who would want to hurt Quisty?”

“It's just as I said before Selph,” Zell began to speak. “Someone who was obviously against homosexuality must have thought Quistis was gay and beat up on her.” Irvine tipped his hat to cover his tired face. He had stayed up all of last night and frankly didn't want to be in the argument. No, he'd prefer to be in bed with a girl he had just met.

“Zell how do you know that this was a hate crime?” he challenged Zell's opinion. “And what makes you think Quistis is gay?” There were times when Irvine wanted to beat Zell up for being stupid. You couldn't just look at Quistis and assume she was gay. You had to actually know her personality and behavioral patterns.

“Ah come on Irvine,” Zell sighed. “You mean to tell me you didn't for once think Quistis was gay. She practically screamed it!”

“You practically scream gay Zelly,” Selphie pointed out. “And I don't point it out to you all the time. Quisty just isn't like all the other girls in garden. Give her a break will you! She's our friend. She's one of us.” Zell looked emotionally wounded from the insult Selphie had given him. But why wouldn't he be hurt? One of his closest friends just called him gay! He must have known that he at least acted homosexual.

“I agree with Sefie,” Irvine spoke up. Selphie inwardly recoiled at that name. That was the name he called her while they were dating. Now she absolutely despised that pet name. It stopped her from purging her mind of all thoughts of him. “You do act gay Zell. But we don't have any proof that Quisty is actually gay. I mean, she dated Seifer for a while before they finally broke up. But who knows? Maybe she is.”

Everyone in the roombecame quiet. “Irvine,” Rinoa spoke up. “Maybe you're right. But what do we do now? Quistis is in pain and there's nothing we can do about it.” She walked over to the cot. “You know, I wonder if Quistis can hear us. I know it sounds stupid but maybe she here with us…. but not really there.”

Quistis found herself riding on waves of pain. Wherever she was, it wasn't home. She was floating on thin air, watching as each of her memories zoomed by her with the intensity of lightning. Where am I? Am I dying?

She wasn't able to answer herself that as the ground suddenly appeared. Soon the landscape ceased to be nothing and became Quistis's old orphanage. I don't understand. Why am I here? The orphanage…it looks so real. Like I can reach out my hand and touch the sand. It is so beautiful and pure.

She began to stroll along the sandy beach, the salty air entering her nostrils, and the wind whipping through her defeated body. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a younger Selphie running along the beach in her direction. She was so adorable then and innocent too. She had no idea of the conflict that went on outside their humble orphanage.

The little girl turned around and yelled “Quisty hurry up yoo slowpokie!” Quistis smiled to herself as she heard those words. Selphie used to always add an “ie” at the end of every word in her sentences. It was so juvenile, but cute nonetheless. Soon a blond figure made its way down the beach as well. It was the younger Quistis trying to catch up with Selphie. The girl panted as she ran towards the hyperactive brunette.

“Selphie,” she gasped. “Yoo are woving way too fast!” Quistis cringed as the girl put a W instead of a M in her sentence. She remembered that she had a speech impediment that caused her to screw up her Ws and Ms. The little girl Selphie only giggled with delight at the other girl's pleading. Selphie was always the mildly sadistic one.

“I'm only moving too fast because yoo can't keep up,” she giggled. “Slowpokie.” Selphie stuck out her tongue in a playful fashion, which caused the younger Quistis to chase after her. It was an amusing sight to see the two engage in an all out water fight. Those were the days. However, why am I being shown them?

Quistis continued into the orphanage itself. It was still together, even though it was still old as hell. Quistis decided that for the hell of it, she would knock on the door. As she did that she heard some footsteps approaching her. She whipped in that direction and saw the two girls run into the house. The strange thing was, they didn't even open the door, and they just ran through the door. Quistis knew that wasn't right. No living breathing human being could merely run through a door and not be marred by it! This place couldn't have been real.

She raised her hand and touched the hard wood of the door. Oddly, her hand went through the door as well. Quistis would have thought that only her fragments of memories were allowed such passage. But apparently, she was too. She felt a buzzing sensation go through her body as she passed through the door. At one point, she looked down at herself when she was about half way through the door. Suffice to say it really petrified the hell out of her. She finished the uncomfortable transition by pulling herself out of the door.

Once she had set foot in the kitchen, she saw someone who might have been the start of all her problems. Edea Kramer. Seifer had started drinking when he had heard of her death. He apparently loved her very much, maybe a little much was what Quistis had always thought. He practically worshipped her during the second sorceress war. He killed millions just to make her smile.

Quistis studied the young woman with interest. Right now, this woman was so kind and gentle. She defiantly wasn't the bloodthirsty tyrant that everyone would have seen in the future. Sometimes Quistis asked herself why Edea had even allowed Ultmecia to take over her body. Why did she allow herself so much pain for other people?

However, Quistis knew that she would have done the same thing. Edea had cared deeply for Ellone as did Quistis. She knew that eventually, if Edea hadn't done something, she would have in the end. These kinds of things that made Quistis wonder why she wasn't luckier in life. Rinoa and Selphie were so happy…and here she was depressed and lonesome. Why couldn't she have been more like Selphie or Rinoa? They acted happy and they got everything they ever wanted.

“Matron,” Quistis spoke softly, wondering if the woman could hear her. The kind woman turned and smiled gently at her. Her dark brown eyes were glittering with happiness.

“Quistis,” she said while giving her a hug. “You're finally here.” She let go of Quistis while she studied her. “And look at you…you're all grown up. So beautiful…just as it should be.” Quistis smiled and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek. Why was it that only Edea could see Quistis? Why couldn't anyone else?

“How come you're the only one who can see me?” Quistis asked with interest. “I need to know what exactly is going on here.” Matron's lips formed into a gentle smile.

“You're in a coma Quistis m'dear,” she tried her best to summarize the bad news. “But there is no need to worry. You will be able to come out of it. The only reason I can see you is because you want me to see you.” That information wasn't enough for Quistis. She wanted more than answers. She wanted peace.

“Then why am I experiencing these memories of Selphie!” she raised her voice. “Why am I just seeing her? I never dated her. I'm not in love with her. She's my good friend. But that's all she is.” Matron nodded, acknowledging Quistis's pain. She apparently understood how the young woman felt, being thrown into the depths of her own mind. However, sometimes life just wasn't fair.

“You aren't being completely honest with yourself,” she soothingly explained. “You're hiding your true feelings under a mask of despair. You love Selphie. Even though she is your best friend, you still love her. You only dated Seifer to cover up those romantic feelings. You were ashamed of them. The reason being because of all the prejudice against people who choose to lives differently. You were afraid of being picked on to put it simply. You were afraid that if you were to show your true self, that the entire world would shun you and you didn't want that.” Quistis was a quite surprised to hear this. Maybe it was true that she secretly longed for Selphie? But then again, how could she trust this fake entity inside her mind?

“So what you're saying is that I'm not in love with Seifer, but with Selphie,” she asked suspiciously. “How do I know if what you're saying is true? How can I trust you?” The woman shrugged.

“I do not know Quistis,” she answered. “All I hope is that one day you will uncover your feelings for Selphie. She really cares for you. Moreover, I hope you realize that the world will always hate you for being who you are. They will never change their views and thusly you cannot change yours. See the world as you have also seen it, and live as you always have.” With that matron mysteriously disappeared and left Quistis alienated from all forms of life. All that chatter had made her wonder. Was she really in love with Selphie? Had she committed the ultimate sin by loving a woman?

The blunt sting of reality hit Quistis in the face as she opened her eyes. She found herself in the infirmary, wrapped from head to toe in bandages, and connected with tubes and wires. Oh hyne. Something horrible must have happened to me. But how did I end up with all these marks? Who hurt me?

As she looked around the room the faces of her friends appeared before her. They all looked worried. And she was troubled that they would start sobbing themselves to death if she didn't say anything and fast. “Hello everyone,” she muttered thankfully. At least she wasn't in a coma anymore. “What happened to me?” Selphie, the as hyperactive as ever ran over and gave Quistis a hug. Quistis winced as the girl wrapped her arms around the bandages that were wrapped the ex-instructor.

“Oh Quisty,” she sobbed happily. “You're alive. I thought you would have never woke up!” Squall went over and pulled Selphie away from Quistis.

“Selphie she wasn't going to die,” he reprimanded her. Then looking at Quistis fondly, he continued. “But we are all glad she's back. It wasn't the same without you Quisty. I'm glad you're safe.” Quistis tried her best to smile but the bandages made it very hard for her to do so.

“Why am I like this,” she asked meekly. “Why am I wrapped head to toe in bandages?” Everyone in the room except Quistis sighed. She gulped. She had a feeling that the news would be grim.

“Quistis,” Irvine began slowly. “You were in a coma for two weeks. You were found brutally beaten on the side of the road. Whoever assaulted you, they gave you a concussion, and deep lacerations were found all over your body. Whoever it was, he or she wanted to kill you.” Quistis's eyes widened in shock after she heard that. Someone wanted to kill her? But who?

Holy crap this chapter took me forever to do! I hope you all enjoyed it.