Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ A Fine Line ❯ san ( Chapter 3 )

WARNING! This story is rated R! It has yaoi lemon content! If you are under 17 and/or do not know what yaoi is, or what a lemon is, don't read it! You have been warned, please do not come crying to me or go leaving bad reviews because you read it anyway and are shocked or corrupted. Thank you. :-)

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. I wonder if she knows that obsessed fans do weird things to her characters.... The lyrics are from "Crawling" and belong to Linkin Park.

Note: This fic might turn into what seems like a library of Linkin Park and Nine Inch Nails songs from here on. Oh well, what can you do? I'll try my best for a little variety. :-) I won't be able to do this every chapter, but.... Yuki The Rat: ::blushes:: And thanks for your help, you are invaluable. Shadow Cat17: Thanks! The chapter titles, "ichi" and "ni" are Japanese for "one" and "two" (respectively). Then this chapter will be "san" which is "three" and so on and so forth. (I couldn't come up with chapter names and didn't want to call them after the songs.) Kativa-chan: Yes, Yuki/Kyo is pretty awesome (not to mention fun!). :-) I'm also a big Mabudachi fan (hope I spelled that right). SD, Polka dot, OniChan, Devil666sc, sierra, Cherry in a Tree: So happy you like it! Thanks for all of your comments! ::big grin::

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*

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

*

On the third day after 'the incident' I decided avoiding everyone wasn't the answer. When I was alone with my thoughts, they kept drifting back to that rat, to things I would rather not think about. Maybe if I acted like nothing happened, went back to my usual routine, it would bring some normalcy to my thoughts. It was worth trying.

The first day of my 'normal' plan went well. Yuki had two student council meetings that day, so he wasn't around for breakfast or dinner. Without his disturbing presence, I was able to lose myself in the routine of daily life at Shigure's. Not that it's exciting, or even particularly routine. Nothing with Shigure is ever routine.

The second day, however, didn't go as well. To all outward appearances Yuki was his normal self, the same as he'd always been. How did he do that? Even trying my best to act normal, I know I didn't really pull it off (Tohru kept looking at me with concern). The rat, though... he was either a good actor, a good liar, or wasn't thinking about what had happened. Probably all three. I knew I was thinking about it too much, but I hadn't expected him to think about it not at all. At least... that was what I'd thought until this morning.

I awoke not thinking about that damn rat for the first time in the five days since the roof. I thought I was getting it together, that I would be able to let it go, but I was not allowed to let it go. When I was heading down for breakfast I noticed a piece of paper on the floor just inside my door. I picked it up to read in Yuki's precise, graceful handwriting: Miss you.

The kuso nezumi didn't even have the guts to sign it! And what the hell is it supposed to be? He misses me? You can't miss someone you live with, that's preposterous! Even so, my heart beat a little faster. Had he slipped the note under my door last night or this morning? Had he been awake in the middle of the night, thinking about me? Had he awoke this morning thinking of me? I smiled as my heart skipped a beat. Did that give me some sort of advantage?

Now it's almost dinner and I'm sitting here on Shigure's roof, afraid that I have an advantage and afraid that I don't. He's good actor, he's a good liar. He's good at hiding, that much is obvious... but where is the acting and where is the reality?

*

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

Consuming/Confusing

This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending

Controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again

*

At dinner Shigure was his usual annoying self and managed to piss me off. Why did he always make such lewd comments about Tohru? Damn pervert. It's been over two years, we're graduating in a month, hasn't he had enough? Graduation... I looked over at Tohru as I ate. She was so happy to be fulfilling the promise to her mother, but after graduation, would she be allowed to live here? Would I be allowed to live here? Would I ever see her?

"Ahem," Shigure cleared his throat. "I know my little flower is very cute, but it's not polite to stare, Kyo."

I looked from Shigure's knowing smirk to Yuki's trademark mask and Tohru's blush. I jumped to my feet "I wasn't staring!" and took my dish to the kitchen.

"Stupid dog," I muttered as I almost threw my dish into the sink. What is wrong with me? That usually wouldn't have been enough to make me this mad.

"Help me with the dishes?" Tohru asked as she brought plates in from the other room.

"Sure," I said and started washing as she brought the rest of them in.

"I'll dry," Yuki said as he came into the kitchen a few moments later. I considered bolting, but I'd already told Tohru I would help and I was supposed to be 'normal'.

Tohru put away the leftovers while I washed and Yuki dried. Every time he took a clean dish from me, his fingers brushed against mine more and more. Before long, he was touching my whole hand. I looked over at him, but he was simply chatting away with Tohru about the usual stuff.

I handed him one of the last dishes, watching as his hand stayed on mine longer than necessary and he rubbed his thumb lightly over my skin. I felt my cheeks begin to burn and looked quickly away. He continued his conversation with Tohru, never missing a beat. Having finished with the leftovers, she was standing just the other side of Yuki with a clear view of what we were doing. Did she notice? No, she didn't, she was Tohru.

I held out the last dish, half expecting my whole arm to be caressed by this point, and was oddly disappointed when he took it normally, with no contact at all. I didn't actually want the rat touching me... did I?

Between me and the fly on the wall, I don't know what I want, think, or feel anymore. I'm losing control... what little I had. Am I ever going to feel like myself again? Is it even possible to?

*snap*

"What the hell!" I yelled as I came back to the present when Yuki snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"You were spacing out again," he informed me. "You better watch that before you hurt yourself."

He was so smug, and was that laughter in his eyes?

"What were you thinking about, Kyo?" Tohru asked as she came to stand between me and the rat.

"Yes, baka neko, what were you thinking about?" Yuki said, the tone of his voice and the look on his face as he stood there saying he knew exactly what I had been thinking about, daring me to tell the truth. Then he winked at me and I couldn't hold back.

My fist flew over Tohru's head with a speed I didn't recognize and collided hard with the rat's jaw. Collided? Collided. Collided! I grinned triumphantly as Yuki began to rub his injury.

"Kyo!" Tohru exclaimed loudly, looking very startled and... hurt? Why would Tohru be hurt because Yuki, for once, got what he deserved?

"What's going on in here?" Shigure asked as he looked around the room.

"Nothing," Yuki said, his voice a little strained, "Do we have any ice?"

"Tohru hit you?" Shigure asked, looking very puzzled.

"No, I did, you moronic mutt!" I yelled and stormed out of the room, but not fast enough to avoid hearing Shigure ask "Why did you let him hit you?"

I slumped down on the roof. Well if that didn't ruin my good mood.

*

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)

I've felt this way before

So insecure

*

I lay in bed awake, unable to sleep again. Shigure's right, the rat had let me hit him... but why? And leaving me that note, winking at me, what is he up to?

I heard a noise in the hall and sat up. I looked at my door and saw a white square on the ground, contrasting with the dark of the room. I felt my heart beating faster as I picked up the note and took it to the window to read in the moonlight. As I had thought, it was Yuki's handwriting and unsigned. My door is always open.

His door is open? Is this an invitation? Does that asshole actually expect me to come to him like... like... some wanton fairy-man? I snorted. His door may be open, but mine is most definitely closed! And it's locked - with a deadbolt.

-----------------------------

I dreamt about him again. I don't know how much more of this I can take, I thought as we walked to school. There had been another note this morning, on my pillow, when I returned to my room after showering. You didn't come.

He's leaving notes to state the obvious, has he lost what little mind he had? Part of me, though, had smiled when I read that note. Just what kind of game is he playing? Kagura's games, at least, were open and straightforward. Not that I liked her approach better.

I had considered leaving early so I wouldn't have to walk with him, but decided to stick with the 'normal' plan. So here I am, walking to school on one side of Tohru while he walks on her other side, trying to ignore him but being hopelessly unsuccessful.

*

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

*

At lunch I found another note, this time in my pocket. My pocket! How had he put it there without my noticing? It's like he's a reverse-klepto. I'm at once excited and terrified by him slipping a note to me this way, in such an intimate manner. How much of his hand had he put in my pocket? I wondered and could almost feel his hand on me, touching me, stroking me, making me shiver from pleasure.

"Are you cold, Kyon-Kyon?" Katsuo, one of the three boys I was having lunch with, asked.

"What? No - I'm fine," I said quickly.

"Hey, what is that you have there?" Arata asked.

"Nothing," I said, and went to shove it back in my pocket. I guess I'll have to read it later, not that I care what that rat has to say. Before I could put the note away, Ryota grabbed it from my hand saying "I bet it's a love letter!"

"GIVE THAT BACK!" I yelled and jumped at him. Oh no, this was bad, I didn't even know what it said! What if it was something perverted, something obvious... my eyes widened in horror. What if he had signed it?!

The three of them passed the note back and forth as I tried desperately to get it from their clutches. After a few moments that seemed like hours, two of them grabbed me while the third went to the windows of the empty classroom.

I watched Ryota's face as he opened the note and read it to himself. He seemed surprised at first, and then he looked up at me with envy and respect. What on Earth did the note say? "Well, well, Kyon-Kyon... you've been holding out on us, does she have a friend?" he said.

"Well what does it say!" said Arata from my left.

"'Tonight, your room or mine?'" read Ryota.

The two that held me let go and looked at me with the same envy and respect Ryota had.

"You sneak into each other's houses? Aren't you afraid of being caught?" Katsuo asked.

"What's 'it' like? Tell us everything," Ryota said, his face like a little kid in a candy store.

"It must be from Tohru," Katsuo remarked and the others nodded their agreement.

How dare they! I was about to beat the crap out of them when I realized that if I did that, I would not only get kicked out of school, I would have to explain my actions. The three would be asked about it and the note would become public knowledge... but how else was I to get it back? I tried to come up with something as they continued on.

"Or he has a little something on the side 'cause Tohru won't give it up, she's so innocent and all," mused Arata.

"No," said Ryota, "you know how it is with some girls... pure and innocent on the outside but an absolute tiger in the inside!"

At that, I felt a rage that scared even me. Before I knew what I was doing, I had Ryota by the tie, probably choking him but I didn't care. "It's not Tohru and it's not what it sounds like. Now. Give. It. Back." I said in a deadly tone through clenched teeth, every muscle in my body ready to strike him.

When I looked at the other two, they exchanged worried glances and backed away. Ryota put the note on a desk and said "All right, umm, all you had to do was ask." I let him go and all three left the room in a rush.

I picked up the note and smiled. I controlled myself for the first time (mostly). I thought before I acted, and it actually felt... good. It must be Tohru's influence. My anger, however, was far from gone. THAT DAMN RAT! Leaving me notes at home is one thing, how dare he do this at school where something like this could happen? Even though I had denied it, who knows what rumors those three would spread? I snorted. None, if they know what's good for them! Any rumor started, I will know exactly where it came from.

I feel… itchy and restless. I need to give that rat a piece of my mind. I looked at the clock, where would he be right now....

"Yuki!" I said as I threw open the door to the student council room. He looked up from where he and that other fruitcake, Manabe, had their heads together looking at something. I narrowed my eyes at Manabe then looked to Yuki, saying "We need to talk. Now."

"I'll be right back, Kakeru, Kimi," the rat said and came out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. "Well, what do you want?"

"Not here," I said and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him to the stairwell, under the stairs where no-one would hear us.

"At school, Kyo? I'm surprised," Yuki said once we reached our destination.

I felt myself turn red. "Not THAT! Do you have any idea what you've done?" I took the note from my pocket, crushed it into a ball, and threw it at him.

"What's this?" He said with an innocent smile as he picked it up from the ground.

"I'm not in the mood for your games!"

"Who said they're games?" He asked and then smiled again, his scary smile this time, the one that promised things you didn't talk about with company. "Are you in the mood for other things?" He reached out and trailed a fingertip feather-light down my face and across my lips. My lips parted of their own volition and his finger entered my mouth slowly. I sucked slightly as his finger left my mouth to be replaced by his tongue.

He pulled me into his arms as he explored my mouth. My hands dug into his hair and I began to kiss him back. When he moaned I felt the vibrations all though my body and became aware of my growing arousal. I quickly came to my senses and pushed him away.

He looks so alluring, standing here under the stairway with desire and confusion in his eyes, his lips swollen from the kiss. Part of me wants to pull him into my arms, I realized. I couldn't. That would mean... so many things I'm not ready to admit, and don't plan on becoming ready to. Anger, I have to stick to my anger. It's... safe.

"I'm not the only one who read your note, and it's your fault if rumors are started." I told him.

"Why did you let someone else read it?"

"I DIDN'T! They took it."

"You really are stupid. You let them take it from you. That's your fault, not mine." He said.

"The point is that I don't want you putting messages in my pockets at school!"

"All right."

I looked at him, taken aback. Just like that, he'd agreed? "Are you tricking me?"

"I will never trick you, I promise," he said, and although every logical part of me is saying he can't be trusted, I believe him. But... he's the rat and I'm the cat... what am I doing believing him when he says he won't trick me?

I'm either crazy, in some alternate universe, or... or....

I can't be around him anymore. I can feel him smiling as I leave.

*

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me

Distracting/Reacting

Against my will I stand beside my own reflection

It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)

I've felt this way before

So insecure

*

"What's for dinner?" I asked Tohru as I help her set the table.

'Tempura and leek soup," she answered.

"LEEKS! Are you trying to kill me?" How had I not smelled them?

"You haven't been looking well, they're good for you." She said as she stopped what she was doing to smile sweetly at me. She's so cute, and when she puts it like that, actually cares about me, how can I argue?

"There's an extra plate," I said and handed it back to her.

"It's for Manabe, he's staying for dinner."

"Staying? Manabe's here?"

"Hai, he's upstairs with Yuki. They're studying math, I think."

"Oh, umm, I'll be back," I said before thinking and bolted up the stairs to stop outside Yuki's door and press my ear against it, straining to hear something, anything, any indication something perverted was going on.

What am I doing? I asked myself and was about to leave when I heard Yuki's voice "Mmm, lower," followed by Manabe "Like this?" and Yuki again "Yes! Right there... harder...."

Something I cannot name welled up inside me and I opened the door to find them... sitting at Yuki's desk, fully clothed, not touching. "What are you doing, Kyo?" Yuki asked me.

"What are you doing?" I countered.

"Calculus," he answers, "with the second derivative you find the concavity of the curve and with that and your critical points, inflection points, intercepts, you get a fairly accurate graph. The second derivative is often harder than the first derivative, however."

Just hearing him talk about it made my head swim. "Yeah, whatever," I said, feeling like a total fool, and left to go back downstairs.

--------------------------------

We were all seated and about to start eating when I heard an all-too-familiar voice call "Gure, it is I! I let myself in! Where are you?" Great, this is just what I didn't need!

"In here, Aya!" Shigure called to the snake, continuing when Ayame showed himself in the doorway. "Impeccable timing as always, join us for dinner?"

"Don't forget impeccable dresser!" Ayame said with a flip of his hair, revealing more of his trademark red robe. "As long as your little flower doesn't mind, Gure, I would love to join you. I haven't had a decent, home-cooked meal in so long! Mine tries, she does, but she's no Tohru," he gushed and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and turned bright red.

"O-of course I don't mind if you stay, Ayame. Please, have a seat while I get your dishes."

"Don't be silly, Tohru, we poor men couldn't last without your presence for even a moment!" Shigure said ridiculously and put his hand on her other shoulder, "One of the boys will get Aya's dishes." He looked expectantly from Yuki to me, and back again. "He's your brother, Yuki."

"Unfortunately," I heard Yuki say as he acquiesced. If Ayame or Shigure heard him, they ignored the comment.

"Mr. Ayame, it's so nice to see you again," Manabe said happily as Ayame took the empty seat next to Shigure and across from Yuki. Manabe was sitting at the end of the table between the two brothers, across the table from Tohru. I had been seated, to my great distaste, next to the rat.

Ayame leaned over to Shigure and said in a whisper everyone could hear "Gure, who is this cute boy? You're not cheating on me, are you?" I groaned inwardly. Not this again!

"How could you think that?" Shigure 'whispered' back. "Once I'd had you, there could be no other.... He's Yuki's friend Kakeru Manabe, I think you've met him before."

They're shameless! I thought to myself. I would just leave, but Tohru prepared dinner, I'm hungry, and I wouldn't miss an opportunity to see Yuki embarrassed by his flamboyant older brother. Ha! Those two are more alike than they realize.

"I have?" Aya studied Manabe, "We must be getting old, Shigure, for me to forget such a delectable morsel."

"Must you embarrass him?" Yuki said as he came back with Ayame's plates.

It was Shigure's turn to study Manabe. "He doesn't look embarrassed to me. In fact, he looks quite pleased," Shigure said and winked at Manabe. I looked at Manabe to find that Shigure was right. Manabe looked like he was having fun; I smiled, and no wonder. He's a fruit, they're fruits, Yuki's a fruit... my smile faded as the back of my mind added softly 'and I'm a fruit.'

All through dinner, Shigure and Ayame flirted. With each other, with Tohru, with Manabe, even with me if I dared speak... so I didn't. The only relatively safe one was Yuki, probably for no other reason than being Ayame's brother. At least the snake had one limit, but that didn't really explain why Shigure wasn't flirting with Yuki. I guess Ayame doesn't like the idea of his dear little brother and Shigure together. There were quite a few comments made to Yuki inferring he was 'with' Manabe. When that happened, Manabe would turn a shade of pink, as I am sure I did as well since each time Yuki would touch my knee under the table.

The first time I almost jumped three feet in the air, but every touch was on my knee and only lasted a moment, so I got used to it. Why did he do that, though? Was it just to make me uncomfortable? (As if having dinner with these freaks wasn't uncomfortable enough.) Was it part of his game? Or... was it to reassure me, to say 'no, I'm with you'? Not that I needed reassurance. I wouldn't care if he fucked Manabe, Shigure, and his eccentric brother all at the same time. 'Liar,' the voice in the back of my head said softly.

I had finished eating when I felt a hand on my knee, but this time without a comment from Ayame or Shigure. The two were engrossed in talking to Manabe and Tohru about something. I don't know what, I wasn't listening. The hand inched its way up my thigh and I looked over at the rat. What is he doing? There are four other people here! (And aside from that I don't want him touching me. I don't!)

Yuki joined the conversation I wasn't listening to as his hand continued its climb up my inner thigh. I froze and my heart began to beat faster as I looked around. Did anyone notice? No-one was paying me any attention, even Tohru wasn't looking my way.

I sucked in a breath as his fingers brushed against my already hardening member. He began to rub me through the fabric of my pants and boxer shorts. I longed to be rid of the fabric barrier, but somehow it heightened what he was doing, causing each movement of his hand to be felt in a number of places.

My breath began to shallow as his hand continued to stroke. All the while, I noticed, he was talking to Manabe and Tohru as Shigure and Ayame were whispering to each other. Oh God! I thought in pleasure and terror at the same time. I knew my face was flushed as the rat changed his movement. Did Shigure and Ayame notice, what were they whispering about?

I looked over at Yuki's arm where it disappeared under the table. Even from where I'm sitting, knowing exactly where his hand is, it looks for all the world as if it's in his own lap. Had he known it would be so disguised, or was he taking a risk?

He began to squeeze me harder and then he stopped. 'No!' Every nerve ending in my body protested. This was wrong, it was dirty, it was risky... but it felt so very good and I was turned on to a point I won't admit. Was it just my hormones, his hand, the danger, or was there more to it?

I felt him unzip my pants as I heard his voice saying "Yes, I think a party after graduation would be good, do you have any ideas for a theme?"

His hand found its way into my pants, into my boxers, and around my very swollen arousal. His fingers were cold, a sharp contrast to my burning skin, which only served to bring me closer to the edge as he began to pump up and down, up and down, faster and faster. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't moan as he squeezed my base, releasing the pressure slowly as his hand moved up my length, only to come immediately back down and start the torture all over again.

I could feel myself near the edge. My breath came in soft gasps and my vision began to blur. "Kyo, are you okay?" I heard Tohru's voice, as if far away. I tried to look at her, but my eyes would not focus.

"Yes, Kyo, are you all right?" It was Yuki's voice this time and I turned my head towards him. When I finally got my eyes to focus, I saw that he was looking straight at me. There was a strange glint in his eyes and I noticed his breath was shallow. He's turned on, I realized and smiled. All the while, his hand never slowed.

"Did Kyo just smile at my dear little brother?" Aya asked incredulously.

"I don't think he's here, he's daydreaming," Shigure deduced as Yuki's hand continued to drive me crazy.

"About what, I wonder," the snake's voice said as my vision blurred again. I'm close, so close.

"Judging by the look on his face... nothing I can mention," the dog's almost-whisper filtered through the haze of my pleasure.

And then I lost it, silently biting into my lip hard enough to draw blood, spilling myself into Yuki's hand and on my clothes. He removed his hand and picked up a napkin, and I ran out of there as fast as I could.

---------------------------

Once in my room, I shut the door behind me and slumped against it. I can't believe that just happened! Yuki just... the rat... he... with everyone there! I looked down at myself. Hopefully no-one noticed when I ran away that my fly is hanging wide open.

I took deep breaths trying to calm my racing heart. I'll never be free of him, I'm afraid. He'll always be there. He's under my skin, eating me alive. What's scariest and most confusing, though, is that I - I'm not sure I mind.

*

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

Please review (if you liked it). ;-) See you on the flipside, minasan!