Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ A Fine Line ❯ shi ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

WARNING! This story is rated R! It has yaoi lemon content! If you are under 17 and/or do not know what yaoi is, or what a lemon is, don't read it! You have been warned, please do not come crying to me or go leaving bad reviews because you read it anyway and are shocked or corrupted. Thank you. :-)

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. I wonder if she knows that obsessed fans do weird things to her characters.... The lyrics are from "Even Deeper" and "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.

Note: This story is on fanfiction net and mediaminer org and has been changed to an NC-17 rating at mediaminer due to the content of this chapter. This chapter has two versions. For the full lemon version, read it at mediaminer (under author Kureno), but please, only if you're old enough! I don't want to be responsible for any 'lost innocence' or have parents coming after me. :-) That said, well... I just had to use Closer in a songfic and hope I was up to the challenge. This chapter is for my good friend YTR. Orangellama: I just think of me and take away all reason and accountability (lmao... it's a joke... yeah... "As Good As It Gets", which I don't really like, but I love Jack Nicholson's character and couldn't resist saying that). Seriously, though, thank you! I love Kyo and it makes me so happy that you think I write him well and the relationship is realistic. :-) Itzuki Hineshi: Ah! A project due in 9 hours, I know what that's like. Hope you did well! V-chan: Thanks so much! Ever since I first heard the song Acquiesce (and was like "acqu-what?") I've loved that word. :-) Kitsunes Rose: This chapter certainly is NC-17. :-) Thanks to everyone else also, don't mean to leave you out. ;-)

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*

I woke up today

to find myself in the other place

with a trail of footprints

from where I ran away

it seems everything I've heard

just might be true

and you know me

(well you think you do)

*

I expected to be up all night again or plagued by dreams of him, but instead I slept a deep, restful sleep and didn't wake until my alarm had been buzzing for a good five minutes. I was not surprised to see the note lying on my dresser, not surprised that he'd come into my room sometime during the night to put it there. I picked it up to read: You like it. Stop running. I want you.

Thinks he knows me, does he? That I like it? And he wants me? He... wants to fuck me... so he can beat me even in that? So he can tell everyone I'm gay? Or is this really just some stick mind-game? Well if it is, he took the game pretty far yesterday and that was lust I saw in his eyes, I'm sure of it.

If all his notes are true... and he wants me... would I...? Do I want to? Do I want him? I don't know, but he's right about one thing: I am running. I'm afraid to stop.

*

do you know how far this has gone?

just how damaged have I become?

when I think I can overcome

it runs even deeper

*

It's Sunday again, one full week after the roof. It seems like three years ago. It seems like yesterday. I'm so confused. At breakfast I made a point not to sit next to him. Right now he's out grocery shopping with Tohru, so at least I can sit here pretending to watch TV without worrying he'll sneak up on me and rape me or something. 'He wouldn't have to' that annoying voice in my head says. I wonder if Shigure put some sort of Vulcan mind-meld on me, I'm starting to think like a pervert. Heh, and my Master made me watch so much of that stupid American show that I'm starting to refer to it in my own mind.

Eight days ago I was normal and now I don't know myself anymore. I can't even look at him. When I do, instead of wanting to kill him I want to kiss him. I don't know what scares me more, the fact the he's a boy and I want to kiss him or the fact that I don't want to kill him. Oh, I'd still like to pound him... just... into my bed instead of to death as was always my fantasy.

Yes, I still hate him, I'm still mad at him for a thousand different reasons. I'm still sane. But... how far will this go, this game of his?

*

I still want to ruin it

afraid to look

as clear as day

this plan has long been underway

*

"We're home," I hear Tohru call followed by Shigure, "Ah, so like my flower, just in time! Ready?" 'What the hell is he talking about?' I wonder as I stare blankly at the TV. Most likely it's nonsense, as usual.

"Hai," Tohru answers, "just have to put the groceries away... I didn't see Hatori's car, though."

"He'll be here in a moment. He's never been late in his whole life."

"Oi, dog, you going somewhere?" I ask loud enough for him to hear but don't bother to get up from the couch. If Shigure and Tohru are both going out, I'll be left alone with that rat. Please don't let them be going!

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Yuki says and I can hear the smirk in his voice. He knows no-one told me. Bastard. "Shigure's going to some art thing with Hatori, so they're giving Tohru a ride over to Hana's."

"Oh." Damn, I'm going to be left alone with Yuki. I shudder. "Um, how long are you going to be gone?" I ask Tohru and Shigure.

Shigure had come into the room and he looked at me as if I'd just grown horns.

"What? Can't I want to know when you'll be back?" I say defiantly and turn a little red.

"You don't own a gun, do you Kyo?" Shigure asks and pats the pockets on the legs of my cargo pants as I sit on the couch.

"Knock it off! Of course not!" I yell and slap his hands away.

"Well... if you do happen to murder Yuki, don't break my house in the process and clean up after yourself, ne? I can't stand the sight of blood!" He says and puts a hand to his forehead, feigning a very girly swoon.

"Cut it out Shigure," Hatori says from the doorway, "let's go." I feel sorry for Hatori, stuck with that dog all night. Well, he ought to be used to him, at least.

Shigure brightens. "Oh, Ha-san, I didn't see you there!" he says, followed by "Come, Tohru!" in a sing-song voice.

"Tohru's coming?" I hear Hatori ask as they leave the room.

"We're giving her a ride, I knew you wouldn't mind," Shigure replies. Yeah, with Shigure around, you learned not to mind a lot of things.

"Goodbye Kyo, Yuki! There's some leftovers in the fridge, see you tonight!" Tohru says and waves as she leaves.

Well isn't this just great. I'm here, alone, all day, with that kuso nezumi. He did it on purpose. He left me that note knowing we were going to be alone all day. What, exactly, does he have planned?

A few minutes later I stiffen when he sits next to me, expecting him to sit too close or touch me or something. He doesn't, though, and I find myself breathing a disappointed sigh of relief.

"What are you watching?" he asks.

"Uh, nothing really, anime reruns."

"What show?"

"I think it's Love Hina right now," I answer.

"You think? You're not watching it? Baka," he says. "What have you been sitting here doing?"

"None of your business," I say and my voice sounds cold. It sounds... like his. That's just great. He gets me off twice and now I'm turning into him. What will happen after... no! There will be no....

"But it is my business," he says.

I snort. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Because you're my business," he tells me.

Is he flirting with me or just trying to piss me off? He's doing a damn good job... at both, I realize as I look at his lips.

What the fuck am I doing looking at his lips?! I jump up and go to the roof.

----------------------------------

When evening fell, I ventured into the house to take a shower. I'm so preoccupied lately though, that I forgot my clean clothes. I'm glad my head is attached. So here I am, out of the shower but my clothes are back in my room. This is just great. I'll have to go down the hall in a towel. Well... I didn't see Yuki when I came in, hopefully I won't see him on the way out.

I peek out of the bathroom and look both ways. Good, no rat. I take one step into the hall, however, and he comes out of his room like I'd called him. Shit!

"You were in there long enough, I was beginning to think I'd never get my shower" he says and then pauses a moment, seeing me. He looks me up and down and I try to ignore him as he walks towards me, but I can't. He looks at me and I look back at him.

He stops in front of me, his eyes roaming over my bare skin making me feel... flushed, hot, uneasy, aroused, embarrassed, excited... then he slowly licks his lips and walks around me, leaving the door to the bathroom cracked open behind him.

I stand there in the hall, frozen. He'd left the door open in invitation. All thought leaves me and I find myself opening the door and following him into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and look at his back as he takes his shirt off. He turns around, his face showing some surprise for a moment before he smiles at me.

*

you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you

you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you

help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell

help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself

I want to fuck you like an animal

I want to feel you from the inside

I want to fuck you like an animal

*

I look at his strong, lean shoulders, long, slender arms, flat stomach leading down to unbuttoned pants... pants that hug him perfectly I notice as if I've never seen him before. Even though I've seen him naked when he transformed, I've never looked at him. I find myself wondering what he looks like under those pants. Sometimes I get myself in trouble that way... killed the cat and all.

I walk forward and kneel in front of him, hooking my fingers in the top of his pants and leaning in to pull the zipper slowly down with my teeth. I know the zipper rubs achingly against his growing erection and I hear him moan softly. When I have the zipper open he is free to my view. He's not wearing any underwear, what a naughty rat.

Thoughts keep trying to enter my head as I ease his pants slowly off his hips. 'What am I doing?' 'What if they come home?' 'Don't let him win.' And I decide I won't. This doesn't mean he wins, not if he's the one screaming my name, not if he begs for more, not if I give him more pleasure than he's ever had. Pushing all thoughts aside, I move forward on pure instinct, desire, and lust.

I take my cues from what he did to me as I stick my tongue out to taste the salt of his heated, throbbing flesh. I swirl my tongue around the tip before closing my lips around him. I move down his length and back up, sucking lightly on the retreat. He moans my name and I do it again, sucking harder and swirling my tongue around him. I feel him lean back against the counter and grab a fistful of my hair as I increase my pace. I press my teeth against him lightly and he cries out, whether in pain or pleasure I can't tell and I don't care. I want to hear him cry my name as he climaxes, I want to taste him... I want so much more. My erection throbs to the point of pain as I imagine myself thrusting into his depths the way he's being engulfed in my mouth.

His breath is coming in pants now and he whimpers softly every other stroke. He's close, I can feel it. I increase my suction and nip him again and he jerks, warm liquid filling my mouth, his cry of passion filling my ears. I swallow and stand up, taking his lips in a fierce kiss.

*

my whole existence is flawed

you get me closer to god

you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings

you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

help me tear down my reason, help me it's your sex I can smell

help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else

I want to fuck you like an animal

I want to feel you from the inside

I want to fuck you like an animal

*

I pull him up against me as hard as I can and he wraps his arms around me, holding me almost painfully as our tongues fight for dominance. I feel him reach down and pull the towel off of me then grab my buttocks, pulling my hips hard against his own. I likewise grab him, rocking against him and moaning into his mouth. Oh god, that feels good. I rock against him again and he breaks the kiss.

He picks something up from the counter and hands it to me, then turns around. I look at it in my hand and then look at his back. Tohru's lotion? What... oh. My thoughts come back for just a moment. I want to bury myself inside him, but I hadn't expected him to be so willing and it surprises me. I look at him in question and he answers me by pressing his backside against my erection.

"Fuck me, Kyo," he says and his voice is so full of passion that I barely recognize it.

I squeeze some lotion into my hand and rub it first over myself and then over his tight entrance. This would be better than nothing, but it would still hurt him. I smile, not remorseful at all over the prospect of causing him pain.

I step up behind him and he braces himself against the counter. I guide myself to his opening and grab his hips tightly as I begin to push my way inside. It's tight, very, very tight and I feel as though I'm going to be squeezed to death. I continue to push forward anyway and he moans. This time I know it's from pain and for all my thoughts of punishment, I smile a little but I stop. After a few moments the pressure around me lessons and I continue forward, finally burying myself completely inside of him.

I stay still a moment, relishing the feeling. It's tight and warm and feels like heaven. I pull back and push in again and hear a moan. Was that me or him? I begin thrusting, holding his hips so tightly I'm sure it'll leave marks. He arches his back and I pull him towards me as I begin to really pound into him, as hard as I can.

"Yes, Kyo! Yes, fuck me," I hear him saying and it spurs me on. I thrust so hard the counter begins to rattle.

I feel myself nearing my peak and I need to bite something. Hard. I lean forward and nip his shoulder, lightly at first and then harder. He moans and I reach around him, taking his aroused member in my hand and stroking it to the rhythm of my hips grinding against his.

My breath is shallow and uneven as I find myself on the edge. I bite into his shoulder, drawing blood as I climax, shooting my essence into him. A moment later he screams my name as he spills into my hand. He moans regretfully when I pull out of him and we both collapse on the floor, panting and covered in sweat.

"Well," he says between breaths, "you are surprising, neko."

What is that supposed to mean? "Have you done that before?" I ask, my lips moving against the skin of his back as I lay half on top of him. I don't know why I care, but I do. I need to know.

"No," he says, "you?"

I snort as an answer and he giggles. He actually giggles. I don't hear it, but I feel it, his back moving slightly in a tell-tale manner. I should want to kill him for laughing at me, or at least punch his lights out, but I don't. I'm too drained to be mad. I feel like all those things I had wanted to say to him but couldn't, all my anger and hate, have been given to him... and yet I hadn't said a word. It's the strangest feeling, and kind of scary, but I like it. It feels... peaceful.

*

and in a dream I'm a different me

with a perfect you

we fit perfectly

and for once in my life I feel complete

*

I move up his body so my head is even with his and as I do his soft skin rubs against me and I feel myself begin to harden again. I put my hand on his shoulder to turn him over and look into his eyes for a moment before lowering my lips to his in a soft kiss. I rub my tongue along his lips and he parts them for me. I dive into his mouth, exploring, and feel his arms wrap around me, pulling me towards him. I shift so that I am directly on top of him and he opens his legs, lifting his knees so my hips fall into the cradle of his.

I feel his erection pressing against me as I'm sure he feels mine pressing against him. I leave his lips and trail kisses down his neck, his chest, to his small nipple. I swirl my tongue around it and he moans my name before pulling my head back up to his and pressing his hips up into mine. Our kiss becomes more passionate as I begin to rock my hips gently, slowly against his.

He moans, the sound drawn out before giving me a series of small nips on his way down my chest. His mouth plays with my nipple and it sends shivers all through me, up to my hair and down to my feet. He nips the sensitive bud not a little hard and my hips jerk against him. He stops his attentions and lies back on the floor.

I look down at him and he looks back at me, his eyes full of passion. Passion for me. I smile as I move down his body a little to press myself against his entrance. His eyes turn an even darker shade of violet and I push in swiftly, causing him to open his mouth in a soundless gasp.

"What does it feel like?" I ask him, curious again.

He wraps his legs around me and shifts his hips, giving a different angle, forcing me deeper inside. "I'll show you some time," he says and I'm excited and repulsed by the thought. Me fucking him is one thing, him fucking me is something else. Although... I'm not sure I don't like the idea.

I begin to slowly rock my hips and he tightens his legs around me. I pull out farther and push back in a little faster and he pulls my head down for a kiss. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly to him. I put my hands in his hair as we kiss and I continue to move slowly in and out of him.

He rakes his nails down my back and moves his hips and I know he wants me to go faster, but I don't. I feel his erection against my stomach and shift my movement to rub against him with every thrust. He moans and squirms, moving his hips faster than I'm moving mine.

"Beg me," I tell him against his mouth.

"Kyo, faster, please," he says in a breathless voice then presses his lips back against mine, his tongue rubbing hard against my own.

I love hearing him beg. I move faster, just a little at first and then more and more. I grind my hips against his as fast as I can and he shudders underneath me. He groans into my mouth and I feel him climax against my stomach. I was close as well, but that pushes me over the edge and I rock hard against him as my orgasm claims me. "YUKI!" I hear my voice yell.

I go limp on top of him and he keeps his arms and legs wrapped around me. It feels like a warm cocoon. He begins to stroke his fingers through my hair and I sigh. If I could think, there would be so many questions and feelings, but I can't so I don't and that's better anyway.

*

do you know how far this has gone?

just how damaged have I become?

when I think I can overcome

it runs even deeper

everything that matters is gone

all the hands of hope have withdrawn

could you try to help me hang on?

it runs...

*

I think I fell asleep because the next thing I know, I'm on my side on the bathroom floor and Yuki's behind me, holding me close. 'It must be late,' I think and sit up. At my movement, he awakes and sits up also.

"No-one's home, are they?" he asks.

"How the hell should I know," I say.

"We better clean up," he says and I agree.

I quickly use the shower and then he does. I notice that he walks slowly and I'm both amused and horrified. What if someone notices... someone like Shigure who's perverted enough to guess the cause?

I don't know what to say to him and I guess he doesn't know what to say either because neither of us talks. I put Tohru's lotion back where she keeps it and he looks into the hall. The house is dark, they're not home yet.

He follows me into my room and shuts the door. "What the fuck? Go to your own damn room," I tell him, my anger starting to come back.

"Just let me stay for a little while... please," he says with a vulnerable look on his face that surprises me. Is he, of all people, unsure of himself? And he wants to stay with me?

"Fine," I find myself saying, "but just for a few minutes, you have to be gone before they get home."

"I promise," he says.

I pull my pajamas on in the dark and crawl into bed. He crawls in beside me and puts his arm around me. "Oi, I said you could stay, I didn't say you could do that." I don't mean to sound so harsh, so mean, but he's seriously freaking me out. I'm already freaked out from what happened, from what I did, from what I can't take back, I don't need him acting all weird.

He moves his arm and turns away. I turn away also and fall asleep, my back pressed against his. He made good on his promise, I wake up and my back feels cold when he leaves. A little while later as I'm trying to fall back asleep I hear Tohru and Shigure come home. I fall asleep listening to them moving around, getting ready for bed.

*

I'm okay

I'm on track

on my way

and I can't turn back

I stayed

on this track

gone too far

and I can't come back

I stayed

on this track

lost my way

can't come back

*

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