Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Blood Runs Thicker Than Water ❯ A Safe Place ( Chapter 4 )

Twilight rays danced lazily over Suguru's sleeping eyelids and gradually woke the boy from a dreamless sleep. The first thing that the green haired youth noticed when he opened his eyes was that he was lying alone in Tohma's bed. He sat up sleepily, rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and for a moment couldn't understand why he was waking up at his cousin's house instead of in his own bedroom.

Then, he glanced down and saw his pants lying at the foot of the bed and all at once the memories of everything that had transpired returned systematically in a multitude of emotional waves.

 

“Last night Tohma and I…we…”

Tears filled the boys eyes and he put a hand over his mouth to cover the gaping hole that was left there after his mortifying realization hit home.

 

“W-what have we done?” He gasped in shuddering, horror stricken breaths as he wrapped his free arm around his body to ground himself. What had seemed so very right to him only a few hours before now filled his heart with ignominy and trepidation. There was nothing more hated or despised by society as what he and his cousin had done together.

Feelings began to rise and fall within him and rip at his insides, each fighting with one another to win out and be the dominant ruler.

Suguru couldn't take it anymore.

 

He ripped the covers off and jumped out of bed. He scrambled out of the pajamas Tohma must have put on him after he passed out and threw on his jeans. His boxers were in no state to be worn and he opted to leave them where they were.

 

After stopping to assess the room to make sure he wasn't leaving anything behind, Fujisaki jogged skittishly out of the room and down the dark hall to where there was a light peeping out from underneath a door. The young keyboardist poked his head silently into what he now realized was the bath room and saw that his cousin was taking a bath.

 

“Suguru,” Tohma said happily when he saw the boy peeking in from the door way, “You're awa-- what's wrong?” The blonde asked concernedly when he saw that his cousins eyes were red and puffy from crying.

 

Fujisaki opened the door fully and stepped into the bathroom, his head hung low in submission and shame. He couldn't bring himself to look his cousin in the eye.

 

“Tohma…I-I just wanted to-- to apologize for everything that h-happened last night. It was…all my fault…a-and a mistake I ne-ver should have let happen. So I'm just going to go. I understand if you never want to speak to me again!” With this final cry, Suguru dashed in tears out of the bathroom and down the hall, Ignoring the shouts coming from his older cousin, begging him to come back.

 

Suguru ran into the living room where he quickly retrieved his shirt before making a bee-line towards the front door.

Not bothering to button up the shirt, the dark haired teenager ran as fast and hard as he could through the eerie morning stillness towards the only place he knew that was close and safe.

Safe from Tohma, safe from his parents and safe from the rigid strangle hold that acceptable society held on everything and everyone.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Many people that knew him, presumed that Eiri Yuki's dreams were far from sweet and sappy, but what he would never tell them though is that most of them were exactly that. A lot of people liked to over look the fact that deep down, really…really….really deep down, he was a caring person. Anybody that ever read his books knew that he had to have some form of human compassion to write as avidly and passionately as he did. He just didn't like to show it outright. His dreams most actively reflected his feelings, since his body just couldn't be bothered to do so voluntarily.

 

The only person that knew about his dreams apart from himself, was his therapist and she was sworn to confidentiality. Occasionally though, like any other person with an active imagination, the novelist did have sadistic dreams. They often highlighted certain aspects of his sexuality that didn't emerge as often as he would like them too.

Much to his pleasure, Eiri was starting to enjoy one such dream (one which featured himself and his lover at the park where they had met, only in this dream Shuichi was completely naked, tied up on a picnic blanket and, for some odd reason or another, covered in sliced strawberries and whipped cream) when an odd, annoying ringing sound startled him awake. At first he thought is was his alarm clock, but then he remembered that he didn't have one anymore because he had accidentally thrown the last one against the wall and had yet to replace it. His next step of logic was that it was Shuichi's alarm clock, but upon taking a look at it's digital face, he saw that it was only six thirty; the kid didn't need to be up for two more hours.

 

It took the disoriented writer a minute to realize exactly what the persistent noise was, but it soon occurred to him that it was not an alarm clock, but the houses door bell. He was not accustomed to hearing the bell because most everyone that knew Shuichi (and as an unfortunate result, himself) didn't bother with common courtesy and just barged in whenever they felt like it.

 

The author tried to ignore the ringing, but after several minutes whoever was at the door still hadn't left. Begrudgingly, Eiri began crawling out of bed, nudging his lover spitefully in the side as he moved by him so that the brat was awake as well.

 

“Heyahoww!Yukiwhasssgoinon?” Shuichi rambled as he sat bolt upright in bed and started to rub the sleep from his beautiful purple eyes.

Yuki looked at the boy over his shoulder and couldn't help but laugh at what he saw.

Because Shuichi used a fair amount of gels, sprays and mousses in his hair, it was jacked up and sticking out all over the place, making him look like a bright pink hedgehog. The brat had also forgotten to remove the generous amount of eye makeup that he had applied the day before and, since he had rubbed his eyes, it was smeared everywhere.

His eyes looked like those of a raccoon and with his hair all pointy, the novelist couldn't help but smile at his pathetic, early morning state.

 

Yuki decided to take pity on him and tell him how horrible he looked before sending him out to meet whoever was obviously there for him.

“I suggest,” the novelist started point-blankly, “ that you go and take a look at your self in the bathroom mirror before coming out here.”

 

“Huh?” Shuichi said, squinting and holding up his hand briefly as Yuki turned up the lights in their bedroom to full brightness, just to be mean, “Why? Whos'ere”

 

“Because you look like sonic the fucking hedge hog,” Yuki jeered as he crossed his arms sourly, “ And I don't know who's here but chances are, it's for you. Nobody who knows me would dare, wake me up at this hour.”

 

The novelist left his pathetic looking hedgehog of a lover to deal with his sleep hair and eyes and went to open the door.

Just before Eiri got to the main entrance he heard a terrified shriek come from the bathroom and he laughed silently at the thought of how mortified his lover must have been at that exact moment.

 

“Shindo-kun!” Fujisaki cried, “Please open the door! I--”

The kid stopped hammering on the door when it was whipped open by none other then Yuki Eiri-sama himself. He was rarely seen by any visitors to Shuichi's apartment and from what the singer had said, the elusive author was rarely seen by him either.

 

“What the hell do you--oh…”

Eiri, who had fully intended on tearing a few strips off of whoever was at the door, halted his harsh greeting when he saw the state of the skinny teenage boy standing before him. He easily recognized the kid as Fujisaki Suguru, the intrusive keyboardist that Tohma had replaced Shuichi with, much to the boys early dismay. The blonde author also knew that the kid was related to Tohma through his mother's sister, and that the kid was extremely talented at playing the piano and keyboard.

Right now though the young piano prodigy looked anything but spectacular. Yuki thought he looked like he had just crawled out of the wreckage from a plane crash. The boys eyes were red, puffy and glassy from crying, his shirt was hanging on him by one shoulder and his shoes were scuffed and untied. His chest was red with cold as were his arms, cheeks, lips and ears.

 

The novelist couldn't help but pity him, just as he couldn't help wondering what had happened to the kid to make him feel that he needed to be at their door so early in the morning.

 

“Yu-Yuki-san I uh..I-is Shindo-kun he-ere I re-really need to…sp-speak with h-him,” The boy said as he struggled desperately to hold back an apparently large wave of sobbing.

 

Eiri stepped aside nonchalantly and opened the door all the way.

“Yah kid,” Eiri said softly, as if apologizing for yelling at him when he obviously came here for help,“ He's here just a second.”

 

“Brat! Get you ass out here now!” Yuki shouted impatiently over his shoulder as he perfunctorily motioned for the distressed looking boy in the hallway to come inside.

“Your keyboardist is standing half naked in the doorway so I`m guessing it`s urgent!” The novelist coldly proceeded to ignore the boy and stalked off towards the balcony to have a smoke. He was not happy about the early morning intrusion. At. All.

But he still couldn't keep his concern from showing on his face, and this made him even more mad then the fact that he probably wouldn't be getting any more sleep that morning.

 

“Fujisaki-kun?!” Shuichi cried as he ran clutching his bathrobe, to the open door, ignoring the nefarious, but concerned glares coming from the grouchy novelist on the balcony.

The effeminate singer was both shocked and concerned to see his youngest band mate standing half dressed and trying not to cry in his doorway at six thirty in the morning.

 

Shu barely had time to pull his fuzzy red robe tighter around himself before Fujisaki practically jumped on top of him, sobbing.

 

The singer staggered backwards at first, but his quick-to-care nature took over and he hugged and consoled the distraught teenager clinging to him as best as he knew how.

Yuki glanced in at them off the balcony and gave Shuichi a weird look as he took another drag on his cigarette that basically said `What the fuck is wrong?'

The singer mouthed the words “I don't know” and gave his lover a confused, worried look and a shrug of his shoulders as he continued to rub Suguru's back warmly.

 

“It's okay Suguru-kun, what's wrong?” Shuichi asked softly, “Are you hurt or…”

 

“I'm… I just couldn't take it anymore I had to get out of their I couldn't …I couldn't believe what we did…It was all…it was a-all my fault.”

 

Shuichi could definitely see that something was wrong with his friend and instead of trying to deal with it in the doorway, he guided the boy over to the couch to sit down.

 

“I want you to try and calm down for me Suguru-kun,” The pink haired vocalist said slowly, rubbing Fujisaki's back, “ I think we have something to discuss, right?”

 

The boy nodded and looked down at the carpet. He needed to talk to Shuichi about this. Of all the people he knew, he decided that the singer would be the only one who would understand.

 

“I came over here from… from Tohma's condo,” Suguru started slowly as he regained control over his voice, “You're…place was closest and I couldn't go home…I just couldn't and so…so…”

 

Putting together what the boy had said only moments earlier at the front door and what he had just said, an extreme idea of what might have happened was beginning to form inside the singer's head.

 

“So you came here to see me?” Shuichi asked gently, giving the green haired keyboardist a warm, encouraging look. A look that said `it's all going to be okay.'

 

Suguru nodded and wiped the corners of his eyes.

For a moment nobody spoke, they just sat there, motionless.

Neither of them wanted to speak first for fear of putting a damper on what the other might have to say, but Shuichi couldn't stay quiet for long and he needed to know if what he was thinking was right; even though he didn't want it to be true.

 

“Suguru I need to ask you a question. This may seem a bit out of place and I know that you're upset but…you didn't do…anything with Tohma when you were at his house…did you?”

 

The look on Suguru's face said everything he wanted to say, before he could say it. Shuichi gasped and covered his mouth with his hand.

 

Yuki, who was watching the entire situation unfold on mute through the sliding glass doors, wondered what had just been said to make Shuichi react that way. It must have been something big. The author stepped into the living room to find out what was going on, but Shuichi snapped at him to go away.

 

“Fine! I'm going back to bed then!” Yuki yelled angrily. He stomped off to the bedroom, slammed the door shut and locked it behind him. The brat wasn't getting back in the bed for a week.

 

~~~~~~

 

Tohma stared after his cousin, shouting at him to stop and to come back, but it was no use. The blonde threaded his hands through his hair and rested his elbows on his knees as tears ran down his angelic face.

What had he done? How could he have done such a thing to Suguru, to make the boy feel the way he did; To make him leave and say the things he had said.

 

“No!” Tohma cried as he gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut to fight back the tears. Things were supposed to turn out differently. They were supposed to love each other and be happy together, as they had before Suguru had passed out. It was all going to be so perfect, just as it had been with--

 

Tohma gasped and covered his mouth in horror.

`As perfect as it had been with Eiri-kun…Oh my god was I trying too…? No!`

What if, somewhere in the back of his mind, he was just using his beautiful young cousin to replace the Eiri he once knew. The sweet, innocent, sixteen year old Eiri that had been so naïve, so trusting, so…willing to please. The things they used to share with one another had been so beautiful and maybe he was just trying to rekindle something like it with the one person he was closest too.

 

“No! That can`t be it,” The blonde shouted at no one, his voice echoing off the tile and growing louder, “I love him to much for that! I--”

 

Tohma couldn't be sure just what he held in his heart for Suguru. He was so confused and he wished he had stayed in bed that morning with his cousin so that they could have talked it out when he woke up.

If he had been there would this have all gone differently or was what they had together doomed from the beginning?

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>

 

Sorry for the delay's guys, but I just couldn't bring myself to write this. I know it's short, but I just felt it needed to end there.

It was all carefullyplanned at the last minute, as always and the feelings and words just sort of spilled out at random. I can honestly say that my best work is the stuff I don't plan on writing, the true hardcore stuff I just feel and write down. It's the very best way to write and it is hard for me to get into that frame of mind all the time, which is why some chapters are better then others. You can normally tell when I'm “forcing”a chapter and when I am “releasing”one. Read some of my other work and you will know what I'm talking about. Trust me.