Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Born Again ❯ Dark desires. ( Chapter 8 )

WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: 2x1, 2x2, 2x?, 1x1, ?x1 and NCS! *looks at all the warnings* Anou... heh... ^^;;

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Umm... I tried to do something a little different in this chapter... I hope it won't confuse you too much... Every time you see something that is colored, bold and italic, it's Duo's thoughts (well, except the title...). Happy reading!

BORN AGAIN

CHAPTER SEVEN-

DARKDESIRES

* * *

Why..?

He swirled his tongue over an erect nipple, earning a small moan from the hot and lithe body that lay beneath him.

Why can't I touch you..?

Rosebud lips slowly parted as his fingers trailed over taut muscles, making the boy pant at every ghostly touch.

Why? Why when you are so beautiful? When everything you do is so beautiful...

Long and elegant fingers clutched a handful of black satin sheets, as his lips trailed down the velvet flesh, kissing the heated skin. Cobalt blue eyes rolled back in ecstasy as his tongue trailed lower... and lower... leaving a wet trail of kisses over the silken skin.

Why does everything that you do make me want to smile and cry at the same time?

Chocolate-brown bangs flew up as the ethereal boy thrust his head back against the pillow.

Why those eyes... those lips... those hands... those hips... those EVERYTHING?!?!?!

Cheeks flushed, his lips slightly parted, the boy cried out in pure pleasure, his voice echoing in the thick darkness of the night.

Why can't I touch you?

His trembling fingers trailed down the boy's quivering body, caressing and exploring every inch of hidden flesh.

Feel you...

His lips bestowed thousands of kisses over the velvety skin, making their way down to the boy's straining passion.

Taste you...

His mouth closed around the heated arousal, taking all of it into his mouth. A loud cry tore out of the boy's blood-red lips. His fists closed around the black sheets, his chest heaving up and down as he panted silently.

Every drop... I want every drop... all of you...

I want all of you...

Panting and moaning, the boy on the bed rocked his hips to meet the hot mouth engulfing him, his cries of pleasure filling the hot air around them.

I want to hear you cry my name...

His hands danced across the boy's body, teasing every inch of him, feeling him as his body shook with pleasure.

"AHH!"

Just once... just once...

He sucked harder, closing his eyes and inhaling the musky scent into his lungs, wanting to get as much as he could. To drown in a sea of pleasure... To be lost in the feeling of the angelic boy.

Please... just once...

"Ahh... Duo..."

Just once...

"Duo!"

I want to feel you...

To be inside you...

To be everything and everywhere, with you...

"D-D-DUO!!!"

Just this once, Heero..

"AHHHH!!!!"

C'mon... Just this once...

"DUOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Violet eyes snapped open.

And just like that, heat turned into cold and darkness to light and a bed full of passion was empty once again.

He looked around, still panting, his cheeks flushed and messy chestnut hair all over his face.

Duo's shoulder's slumped and he sighed, bowing his head. Welcome back to the world of the living...

"Duo-chan, are you okay?"

Duo sighed, lifting a trembling hand to push his long bangs aside. "Yeah, I'm fine." He muttered, looking up. Heero was standing in his bedroom's doorway, looking at him with his shining blue eyes. He was holding his bear in his hand, his sloppy pajamas hanging loosely over his slim shoulders. The light from the corridor poured into the room, and was the only thing to illuminate Duo's bed. As he felt Heero's gaze on him, Duo blushed and hurried to pull the blanket up, hiding his throbbing erection.

Heero frowned, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "You were making funny noises again." The boy stated warily, cocking his head aside in puzzlement. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Duo couldn't help but chuckle. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair once again. "No, Hee-chan. I didn't have a bad dream." He let out in amusement. "I'm okay. You can go back to sleep."

Heero made a face, still a little suspicious. "Are you sure? Maybe you should sleep with the light on."

Duo chuckled again. "I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm sorry I woke you up, but I'm fine."

Heero sighed, reaching for the doorknob. "Okay, if you say so..." He mumbled, preparing to leave. Before he closed the door, he looked down at his bear and sighed. Letting go of the doorknob, Heero clutched the bear tightly and walked into the room.

Duo followed him with confused purple eyes. He stirred a little, suddenly feeling uncomfortable as the boy made his way towards the bed. He tightened his hold on the blanket, pulling it closer to him, his cheeks blushing.

"Heero?" He asked in puzzlement as the boy took a stand beside his bed.

Heero just smiled, cobalt eyes shimmering in the dark. He handed Duo his bear.

"Wha-wha... Heero..." Duo let out in shock, completely lost for words. He slowly looked up at the boy, his gaze stunned. "What's that for?"

Heero smiled, nudging Yoshi closer to the other boy. "To keep you safe." He answered kindly, still smiling. "From the nightmares." He placed the bear gently on the bed, and smiled sweetly. "Oyasumi."

Duo tried to smile, but his face was all numb. "G-goodnight, Hee...chan..."

Heero sent him another sweet little smile and then quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.

Duo looked down at the bear, a light frown appearing on his weary features. He reached down and carefully ran his fingers through the soft fur, feeling a shiver run through his body at the touch. Sighing, he placed the bear on the night table by his bed, and threw himself back at the pillow. For a long time he just looked at the ceiling numbly, feeling his erection throb, demanding attention.

Sighing, Duo dared a peek at his closed door, his ears strained to pick up any sound. The apartment was quiet once again. Heero was probably back to sleep. He sent another puzzled look at the bear, and smiled weakly at the toy's shining brown eyes.

He turned his gaze away and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he reached down a trembling hand, and slid it under the covers. He gasped as he closed his fist around his own arousal, and thrust his head back into the pillow. His eyes were closed tightly as he began to stroke himself slowly, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to control his breathing and keep silent.

He tried to replay the vivid images of his dream, as his hand worked faster and faster to bring him over the edge. But the presence of the bear was a bother. He knew it was there even though he wasn't looking at it or thinking about it. It was watching him with those large and all-knowing eyes.

Duo growled and stroke himself harder, his fist tightening around his cock until it hurt. He began trashing on the bed, feeling this enormous and over powering feeling build up inside his body.

But the bear was still there.

And all he could think of, was a pair of large baby-blue eyes, shining with love and innocence. All he kept hearing in his head was Heero's joyful laughter. There were no moans, no lustful blue eyes... No fire that burned the tip of his fingers as he reached down to touch the boy. There was only that sweet and pure innocence that looked back at him with child-like admiration.

Duo cursed and jerked his hand out of his boxers, slumping back into the mattress.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to come.

He lay in the dark, panting, his numb amethyst eyes looking up at the ceiling. After all this time he still lusted for Heero. The feeling was like a sin, a blasphemy, but it was there if he wanted it or not. It was often that he dreamed of Heero in such erotic manner. During the first few months the dreams were very frequent and they nearly drove him crazy. He knew that he could not have Heero in that way. He knew that the boy was not ready for it. He was well aware of what kind of role he now had in Heero's life, and a lover was just not in the job description. But he couldn't help it! Dreaming was all he had left!

However, as time flew by and the weeks became months and those months turned into more than a year, the dreams lessened. His feelings towards Heero began to take a different nature. When once he was at least able to masturbate after such erotic dreams, now he was unable to do it. It didn't feel right. It just didn't. He knew that it was wrong and he knew that he could never have what he dreamed of.

He just couldn't.

Sighing, Duo turned to lie on his side, drawing his pillow closer so he could hug it. His gaze rested on the small bear lying slumped on his nightstand, looking at him with a silly little smile. He sighed and reached up to take it. He placed it carefully on his pillow, so they were lying eye to eye. He continued looking sadly at the bear; his violet eyes shining with unshed tears.

He sniffled and closed his eyes slowly, curling deeply within himself.

Just once, Heero...Be with me... Just once...

* * *

"What's this one?" Duo asked softly, holding up a small card in front of Heero.

The Japanese boy looked at the card for a few moments, biting his lower lip in thought. "Uh. . . A?"

Duo smiled. "Very good. Can you give me a word that starts with an A?"

Heero frowned, looking up at the ceiling in thought. "Anou... uh... apple?"

Duo nodded his head and smiled. "That's right." He encouraged as he put the card he was holding on the table and picked up another one. "Can you think of another word?"

"Uh. . . Anti-freeze."

Duo chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Okay... that's, uh... original."

Heero's frown deepened. "It's not correct?"

Duo chuckled, his violet eyes dancing. "It was correct, but I expected something a little more, erm, simple."

"Oh."

Duo chuckled again and held up another card. "But if it was simple, then it wouldn't be you, ne?"

Heero smiled sheepishly and turned to look at the second card. It was a cloudy Sunday afternoon and they were both sitting by the diner table in their small kitchen. It was Heero's second reading lesson, and the two were just reviewing what they covered in the first lesson. Duo had made a bunch of cards with letters on them, and Heero had to memorize the letters. He was a little forgetful at first, but he caught on pretty quick. They've managed to learn about ten letters last time. Duo said that once Heero would learn to recognize all the letters, he will teach him the words that came along with them.

Heero was a little nervous at first. He was sure that he will not understand something as complicated as reading. He was afraid to let Duo down. But so far it went well, and Duo was very supportive. Heero was beginning to feel a little more comfortable about the whole reading thing.

"How about this one?" Duo asked, nudging the card towards Heero.

The Japanese boy pulled himself out of his musings and turned to look at Duo. "B?"

Duo sighed and shook his head. "Heero, look at the card first, okay?"

Heero made a face, but did as told. He smiled sheepishly as he saw that Duo had mixed up the letters, so he will not depend on his excellent memory, and rather actually recognize the letter. He looked up at Duo with eyes that shone in apology.

"E."

Duo smiled and nodded his head. "Good." He turned to bring out another card. "Now I know that this one's a little tougher than A, but can you think of a word?"

Heero took a moment to think, scratching his head thoughtfully. "Anou, uh... itai."

The braided boy chuckled and shook his head. "No... not quite. And it's not an English word, now is it?"

Heero blushed and ducked his head down sheepishly.

"Try again."

"I don't know..."

"Just try."

Heero sighed and looked around the kitchen, searching for a word that sounded right. He turned back to Duo. "Electric, uh..."

"Okay, okay. Forget about E. We'll move on with the lesson." Duo said, seeing that the boy was having a little difficulty. Well, E was a hard letter to find words for... He could barely think of any himself.

He smiled and arranged his cards neatly. "Lets just review the letters one by one, okay?"

Heero nodded and Duo handed up a card.

"A."

Duo held up another card.

"B."

And another.

"C."

Seven more cards later Duo smiled and handed up the last one. "You did great, Hee-chan. Just one more." He showed the card to Heero, waiting for the boy's answer.

But unlike with the other cards, Heero didn't respond so quickly.

Duo frowned and turned to look down at the card. "Heero? What's wrong? We covered this one yesterday, remember?" He looked up at the boy, smiling in encouragement. "You can do it, c'mon. What's this one?"

Heero swallowed, looking down at the card with shimmering eyes. "I... I know that one..." He mumbled, his hands beginning to suddenly tremble.

Duo rolled his eyes. "I know you do, Heero. I taught you just yesterday. Now just tell me what letter is it."

"I know what it is, Duo-chan. Lets just learn a new one..." Heero whispered, his voice choked up all of a sudden.

Duo took a deep breath, trying to remain calm, for he was getting really angry at Heero's weird behavior. "Heero, name the letter."

The Japanese boy looked away.

"Heero, the letter."

". . . ."

Duo sighed and threw himself back in his chair. Glaring at Heero, he began to shuffle the cards in fast and angry motions. He held one up.

Peeking up from behind messy bangs, Heero looked at the card and sighed. "A."

Duo threw the card aside and snatched out another one.

". . . .B."

Duo threw it away and yanked another one out of the pack, still glaring at Heero.

The boy sighed and looked away from Duo's angry gaze. "C."

Another card was held up.

"D."

And another.

"E."

And another.

"F."

Duo shuffled the cards angrily and yanked out another card.

Heero sighed again, not bothering to look at the card. "G."

Duo slammed two more cards on the table.

Heero flinched at his forceful movements, and swallowed. He looked down at the cards. "H, I."

BAM!

Duo slammed the last card on the table, his violet eyes fierce and bitter. He shoved it towards Heero, glaring at him the whole time.

Heero sighed and shifted in his seat, looking away from the card.

"Say it."

". . . ."

"I know you know it, Heero. Say it."

Tears began to fill Heero's eyes and he sniffled, refusing to look up at Duo.

"Heero, enough games. Just name the damn letter."

". . . . ."

Duo growled. "Fine! Be that way!" He called and threw his chair back, getting up to his feet. "I though we were past the 'stubborn-baby stage' already! But if that's how you want it, fine. I don't care."

Heero winced as Duo stormed out of the kitchen. His tearful eyes slowly shifted back to the card lying on the table. He studied it for the longest of time, looking at what was written in black against white: 'J'.

Heero gasped and hurried to look away. He got up and ran out of the kitchen.

"Duo-chan! I'm sorry!" He called as he ran into the living room. He found Duo lying slumped on the couch, a hand over his face. The radio was on and the stereo's remote control was in Duo's limp hand.

"Duo-chan..." Heero pleaded him softly, walking over to the sofa. "Duo-chan, I'm sorry... please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Heero."

"Yes you are. I didn't mean to--"

"Heero, please, don't be offended, but I just want to be alone for a while." Duo mumbled from underneath the arm that covered his face.

Heero sighed and bowed his head down sadly.

"Why won't you go downstairs and check for mail, okay?" Duo offered, sounding very tired all of a sudden.

"H-hai..." Heero mumbled sadly, walking heavily towards the door. He sent Duo a long and wretched look, but the boy could obviously not see him. Sighing, Heero left the apartment, slowly closing the door behind him.

Inside, Duo cursed and kicked one of the cushions off the couch. "Damn it..."

* * *

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G..." Heero whispered quietly to himself as he walked out of the elevator and towards the main entrance of their apartment building. The mailboxes were just outside the door, attached to the side of the building. In his hand, Heero was holding a small key, in order to open the small mailbox. He walked out of the building, still muttering to himself.

"H... I..." His hand closed tightly around the small key. "I... and then... then... ja--" He stopped, unable to complete the word. He took a deep breath, his teeth clenched. ". . .jaa. . ." A shiver ran through his entire body and Heero had to stop for a minute. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, feeling his heart pound strongly against his chest. "Ja. . ." He whispered between clenched teeth, his fists also clenched.

He could feel the thick Darkness sip deeper and deeper into his mind. Gory slime slowly sliding down the boundaries of his skull, leaking along endless walls... threatening to fill him completely. Wanting to drown him in their horror.

Those Hands... they were waiting somewhere in the dark, slowly making their way towards him. And as the slime threatened to smother him, Heero knew that He wanted to be back. To be back Inside him... To take him back into the Darkness until it swallowed him whole. He wanted to be Inside him... Inside him... the Darkness wanted to be Inside him... to fill him... So deep... so deep until it hurt...

Heero gasped and snapped his eyes open.

Startled by that ominous feeling that was suddenly awakened in him, he took a moment to adjust his breathing. He then shook his head forcefully; eyes squeezed shut, and forced his legs to move. His palm clenched around the key, Heero continued walking towards the mailboxes.

"...A... B... C... D..."

He stopped when he reached the right mailbox and turned to open it, still whispering. "E, F, G, H, I, ja---" He shuddered, his hand trembling as he reached inside the mailbox. His heart was beating fast again. "...ja-jaa---"

"Ah, Heero-kun! Ohayou!" A cheerful voice called from behind him and Heero jumped up, startled. He whirled around to see who had startled him so, and then smiled sheepishly when he saw who it was. It was only their next-door neighbor, Mr. Tataki.

"H-hello." Heero greeted back, smiling slightly. His heart was still pounding fast, and his hand refused to stop trembling as he reached for the letters in the box. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. "O-ohayou."

Tataki, a man in his late forties, smiled back at him, exposing a set of shining white teeth. He was a short man, his black hair balding, and a set of heavy glasses rested on his nose. The glasses were thick and very unflattering to the man, but the most disturbing thing about them was that they were very dark and hid the man's eyes. Heero couldn't really see the man's eyes and the fact disturbed him greatly. It felt weird not looking into the eyes of a person that was in front of you.

Bur nevertheless, Heero returned the man's smile with a faltering smile of his own. He then hurried to turn away.

It wasn't that Tataki was overly unattractive, but there was just something about him that seemed weird. Duo-chan always made a displeased face when Mr. Tataki would greet them when they were passing each other in the hall. Heero always got the feeling that Duo really didn't like Tataki. He didn't know why, though. The man was very friendly and he would always offer him a big toothy smile when they met. He was very helpful when Heero had to carry the groceries he sometimes bought, and he always held the door for him if they were about to enter or exit the building together. One time he even helped Heero fix a doorknob he accidentally broke, before Duo ever got the chance to find out.

Mr. Tataki was very nice, but still, Heero couldn't help but feel awkward next to him. Maybe it was the fact that his glasses always hid his eyes in an unnerving way, or maybe because he knew that Duo-chan REALLY didn't like him, but still, he was a little uncomfortable next to the man.

"Checking for mail?" Tataki asked casually, turning to his own mailbox.

Heero snapped out of his musings and hurried to nod his head. "A-aa." He stammered, also turning back to the mailbox. He pulled out a few envelopes, watching Tataki from the corner of his eyes. He frowned as he saw the man quickly turn his head away from him, and then push his glasses up a little. As he watched the man pull out a stack of letters from his box, Heero wondered what he had been looking at so secretly. He turned to look over his shoulder, but he saw nothing there. The street was completely empty.

Shrugging, Heero decided to forget about it. He sighed and looked down at mail thoughtfully. He tried to recognize as many letters as he could, but he only knew a few of them.

"Anything interesting?" Tataki asked in his overly cheerful voice, after seeing Heero examine the letters for so long.

Heero swallowed and looked up at the man. "Uh. . ." He looked back at the letters in his hand, and sighed, closing his eyes. "I don't know..."

Tataki chuckled. "Well, can't you read, boy?"

Heero bowed his head sadly. "No. . ."

"Oh." The man let out, frowning. He examined the young man for a long while, his eyes scanning him from head to toe. He smiled to himself as he watched the boy's shiny brown hair being gently tousled by the wind. He continued staring at the boy for a while longer, his lips slightly parted as he studied the way the his hair fell over his deep blue eyes... The way his blood red lips pouted sadly as the boy looked down at the envelops in his hand.

Tataki smiled to himself and turned to close his mailbox. "Ah! I bet that Maxwell-san is teaching you, though, isn't he? You'll learn it all pretty soon!"

Heero sighed and looked up at the man, shaking his head. "I'm not very good at it. Duo-chan got mad at me because I can't say the letters right."

Tataki sent him a sympathetic look, and locked his mailbox. "Well, maybe he's not such a good teacher."

Heero's eyes widened and he looked at him, confused. "Wha-what do you mean, Tataki-san?"

The man shrugged simply. "Not everyone can be a teacher, you know. There's no such thing as a bad student, there's only a bad teacher."

"Duo-chan doesn't know how to teach letters?" Heero marveled. The thought of Duo-chan being the one at fault never occurred to him. It was just NOT possible!

Heero looked up at the man, his face determined. "Duo-chan is good." He stated in resolve. "It's just that I don't know all the letters like he wants me to."

Tataki laughed. "Well, if you say so. But the fact remains that he wants you to know the letters quickly, and you can't do that. Maybe you need an extra hand."

"A hand?" Heero questioned in confusion, looking down at his hands. He frowned. "Two is not enough?"

The man laughed again, and shook his head. "No, silly boy. I mean that maybe you should turn to another teacher. There are private tutors who can teach you."

"Hontou ka?"

Tataki smiled. "Sure! You can hire one to teach you while Maxwell-san is at work, and then he'll see how much progress you made. I'm sure that he'll be proud."

"Duo-chan... proud?!" Now encouraged, Heero smiled broadly at the man. "Where can I find the teacher?! Can he teach me ALL the letters? Even the little ones?!"

Tataki chuckled in amusement. "Sure he can. And you can find one in any phonebook!" He stopped, frowning. "But since you can't read yet..."

Heero's smile faded.

"... and not to mention that you need to pay them money in order to get them to teach you..."

Heero's face became downcast. "Money? But I don't have money..." He mumbled, suddenly dejected.

"Hmmm. . ." Tataki let out thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "That might be a problem..."

Heero sighed and bowed his head, now feeling even more miserable than before. It was so hard to make Duo-chan happy...

"But you know," Tataki spoke up again, looking at Heero with a kind smile. "I can tutor you."

"HONTOU KA?!" Heero called out in excitement, his sadness forgotten. "Can you really do that, Tataki-san? Can you teach me all the letters?!"

Tataki smiled broadly. "Of course I can! I used to do a little teaching a while ago! And you won't even have to pay me. Why, you know what, I'll settle for something small. I just need you to help me with something."

Heero smiled. "Oh, I will help, Tataki-san! I will! I'll help you with EVERYTHING!" He hurried to promise, his whole body tingling with excitement.

The man's smile broadened, exposing his white set of teeth. He pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, the light reflecting off the dark lenses. "Then it's settled. Maxwell-san will not have to know about it. This way, he'll think you learned it ALL by yourself." Again the light glistered on his thick glasses as he tilted his head aside in amusement. "It will be our little secret, ne?"

Heero nodded eagerly, a joyful gleam in his deep blue eyes. "Arigatou Tataki-san!" He called happily, nearly bouncing from joy. "Hontou ni arigatou!"

The man smirked and nodded his head in acknowledgment. "You'll have to call me 'sensei' from now on..."

Heero hurried to nod his head and smiled at the man, his cobalt eyes shining. "H-hai. Arigatou, Tataki-sensei."

Tataki smiled back, his white teeth shining and another spark glistered over his dark glasses. "Douitashimashite." [i]

Heero smiled. He really didn't know why Duo-chan hated him so much. Tataki-sensei was such a nice man!

* * *

Duo sighed, pushing himself off the couch.

What was taking Heero so long? He only sent him downstairs to check the mail... He should have been back by now.

Sighing, Duo walked over to the door. Maybe he had been too hard on Heero, again...

He didn't mean to get all upset over such a simple matter, but it was just so incredibly frustrating to be teaching Heero Yuy how to read! It's not that the boy didn't catch on with the lessons, he was very bright and a fast learner, but just the thought that Heero had to learn HOW to read, was disturbing to Duo. While he had accepted the fact that Heero had changed, and he had done so long ago, it still bothered him sometimes. And so he got mad easily. He got upset when he shouldn't. He hurt Heero's feelings where there was no good reason to do it.

He still needed to learn how to control his temper. And the fact that he hadn't been getting much sleep lately, combined with his sexual frustrations, was not making things any easier for him. It's been so long since he had succumbed to his desires and went out to find a faceless, one night, companion. He had been so busy taking care of Heero, that he had barely any time for himself. He devoted all of his time and his attention to look after the boy, to see to his needs and aid in his development, that he had put everything else aside. For the last sixteen months, he forgot that Duo Maxwell actually existed.

Not that he regretted anything. Far from it, actually. He was always feeling like what he did was never enough. He was always trying to do more, to improve, to learn more and then help Heero. His every conscious thought revolved around the boy, but he wasn't complaining. His body was. It was beginning to remind him that were are other things in life, and that he also has needs and dreams and wishes. For the first time in three years, Duo was suddenly feeling neglected. Not by others, but by himself. He didn't mind taking care of Heero. He didn't mind that they were not together in a way he often dreamed that they would be. He didn't mind.

But his twenty-year-old body did. It craved to live. It craved to experience and to know and to explore and to feel. Deep inside, he ached to go out and live his life just like any other young man would. No worries, no responsibilities... just go out and have fun. Get drunk. Have sex. Go to work the next day with a blistering headache. Get yelled at by your superior. Play practical jokes at the office without caring about being fired. Having no need support someone who depends on you. Having no one depend on you. Having no reason to be a twenty year old parent. Having no need to care, to worry, to get angry when it's hard and to weep when it's harder. Just smiling... living... socializing... He wanted... he wanted to go drinking with his friends after work instead on rushing home to make dinner. He wanted to sit with his lover in the back of the cinema and kiss him all over. He wanted... he needed... he wanted... needed... he wanted something more. He needed something more. He needed to feel what it's like to be young. What it's like to live his life just like everybody else... And more importantly, he wanted to share it with Heero.

And that was the root of his problem. He couldn't share that kind of life with Heero. He had a different role in this movie and there was no changing the script. The 'Big Producer' upstairs won't allow it. He had to deal with what he had.

But his body wanted more.

Needed more.

Heneeded more.

Duo sighed and turned to open the door. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his boiling anger. There was no real reason to be mad, though he couldn't control it. He just realized that he wasn't mad at Heero. Not at all, actually. He was angry with himself for thinking such things. He promised himself that the minute he'll find Heero, he'd apologize. Again. It was beginning to be some sort of a routine for him. One he desperately needed to get rid of.

"Hi Duo-chan. I found a lot of letters."

Surprisingly enough, Heero was standing right behind the door when Duo opened it. He smiled at the braided young man and handed him a few envelopes. He pointed at one, smiling at Duo, his cobalt eyes shining with delight.

"See? This one's a 'B', and that's an 'I'. I don't know those two, but they look like an 'I' a little..."

A little stunned, Duo turned to look down at the word Heero was pointing at. "Those are 'L's, Heero. It says 'bill'."

"Oh." Heero let out, still smiling. "Okay, because we got a LOT of 'bill's here." He handed Duo six more envelops.

Duo chuckled. "Great, just made my day here, Hee-chan."

The Japanese boy smiled happily and walked towards his room, seemingly VERY happy with the world.

Duo smiled and shook his head in amusement. So much for his apology... it was a good thing that Heero was so easily distracted. He wondered what could have made him so happy, but he guessed that it really didn't matter, as long as he was forgiven. It was just another part of their routine. He would screw up, Heero would get upset, they separated for a while and then he would apologize. No matter what, Heero always forgave him and they were back to normal. That is, until Duo's next little outburst.

Duo's smile slowly faded and he slammed the door shut, turning away from it.

He needed to learn how to restrain himself more, before the day will come and he will do something that Heero will not be able to forgive.

* * *

"Did you have a good time today?" Duo asked as he flipped an omelet inside a hot pan. It was evening and he was currently busy making dinner. Heero was sitting by the kitchen table, awaiting his meal. The boy had been in a very cheerful mood that day, ever since yesterday, when he came back for the mailboxes. His face was radiant and he had been quite energetic all day long. Duo envied him. Heero seemed so carefree, so content with everything around him. It made Duo jealous. He wished he could feel the same way.

Duo sighed and squeezed the omelet tight. "Sally said that you refused to leave when it was time to go home. She said you didn't want to enter the car!" He forced out a chuckle, but it sounded just like that- forced. He was in no chuckling mood. To be honest, he was tired. EXTREMLY tired. He didn't sleep all night long, fearing that his dreams would be back. He didn't want to keep dreaming like that. Unfortunately for him, his body refused to listen.

Behind him, Heero nodded with a sheepish smile. "Aa. It was fun. I didn't want to go."

Duo smiled and nodded his head. "So you decided to continue with the karate lessons after all?" He asked as he placed the omelet in a plate and turned to serve it to Heero.

"Hai." The Japanese boy answered and smiled. "Wufei says that a few more lessons and I can get a yellow belt." His eyes followed Duo as he came to sit across of him. Duo already had a plate in front of him, with the leftover chicken from the day before. Sometimes he was too tired when he came back from work, and he didn't feel like fixing something big to eat. Heero knew that if Duo-chan was eating leftovers, it meant that he was having a hard time at work. His smile slowly faded, and he cast his gaze down.

"Are you gonna come back late tomorrow too?" Heero asked, lips pouting.

Duo sighed and ran a hand through his long bangs. He picked up his fork, his movements slow and tired. "Yeah, sorry Hee-chan, but there's lots of things I need to take care of. If you want, I can drop you at Sally and Fei's place."

"Nah, that's okay. I can stay alone." Heero answered simply, shrugging. He smiled at Duo. "I can work on my letters until you come back, ne?"

Duo smiled tiredly. "Yeah, that'll be great." He sighed and leaned one elbow on the table, not touching his food. He watched Heero as the boy ate his supper, his eyes following his every movement. He studied the way Heero's slim white fingers held the fork so gently, so gracefully...

Duo sighed and shifted a little in his chair, as if suddenly uncomfortable.

He's so close to me... so warm...

Duo slowly began to lean forward, watching the fork as it rose up. He held his breath as he watched those rosebud lips slowly part.

So beautiful...

He had to keep himself from moaning as he watched those lips close around the long, steely, fork.

So hot...

And then that elusive tongue sunk out and traced over one delicate lip. Duo bit his lower lip as he watched the light reflect off the frail bottom lip. He closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath.

...I want him.

"Duo-chan?"

At the sound of Heero's voice, Duo jerked his head up, his eyes quickly opening. He turned to face the boy, his cheeks slightly blushed. "Y-yeah?" He stammered, shifting in his seat again.

Heero frowned. "Daijobou? You look really tired. Are you having bad dreams again?" He asked worriedly, his cobalt eyes shining with concern. "Isn't Yoshi helping? You can keep him more if you want."

Duo forced himself to smile and shook his head. "No, Hee-chan. I'm not having bad dreams. I'm just tired, that's all."

"Maybe you work too hard." Heero suggested, still worried. "Sally's sometimes mad at Chang cuz he works too much. She says that he's gonna go bald soon cuz he's a workologic."

Duo chuckled, running a trembling hand through his long bangs. "A workaholic, Heero. And no, I'm not as bad as Fei."

"Oh." Heero let out, smiling sheepishly and Duo couldn't help but think that he found it adorable. The way Heero's lips pouted when he felt like he said something silly... the way his eyes shone when he was concerned for his well being... the way his hair seemed to be glowing under the kitchen light... and that scent! Oh sweet gods, that teasing scent! It was driving him crazy.

Unable to take it anymore, Duo hurried to get out of his seat.

"Uh..." He let out and Heero turned to look up at him, puzzled. "I... I just remembered that... that I have something I forgot at the office! I'll be back soon, kay?" He explained in a hurry, already rushing to the door.

Heero frowned, looking at his retreating figure. "Shikashi--but--but you didn't eat yet..." He mumbled, confused.

"It's REALLY important, Hee-chan! I'll be back in no time, I promise!" Duo called from the living room, rushing to put on his jacket. He couldn't stay there any longer. He simply had to leave. He didn't know where to go, he just knew that he had to. He had to leave. He had to leave quickly. Before he will lose control.

"Can I come with you?" Heero asked, getting up quickly. "We can go for a ride."

"No, Hee-chan, you should finish your dinner." Duo answered, sounding a little out of breath. "I'll be back in a jippy!" He promised one last time, and before Heero made it out of the kitchen, Duo was out the door.

Heero stopped, standing in the kitchen doorway. He stared at the closed door for a while, and then frowned to himself.

"Maybe 'workalogic' is like the flu..." He mumbled, walking back to his dinner. He sighed, sitting down heavily. He picked up his fork and then looked up at the door's direction, frowning again. "I just hope that I won't catch it too..."

* * *

The next morning, Duo went to work extra early. He was already gone by the time Heero woke up. When he entered the kitchen, Heero could see that Duo-chan had left him his breakfast and a few exercises for him to practice on the alphabet. Heero also knew that there was probably some lunch and maybe dinner waiting for him in the fridge and all he had to do was warm it up like always.

Yawning, he sat down to have his breakfast, and looked down at the notebook Duo left him. There was a pen resting next to it, along with all the cards that contained the letters they already learned together. Heero figured that Duo wanted him to try and write them down.

He sighed and pushed the notebook away. There wasn't much point in trying to learn by himself. It was obvious that he can't do it. That's why he was going to see Tataki-sensei after he finished his breakfast. He was sort of relieved to find out that Duo-chan is working late again. That meant that he would have time to learn with Tataki-sensei before Duo was back home. He usually came back around late noon or so, but now he began working extra hours so he came back late in the afternoon. It was a perfect chance for Heero to learn the alphabet behind Duo's back. This way Duo-chan will think that he learned it on his own and he'll be happy.

Heero hurried to finish up his meal and clean the dishes. He ran to his room and took a small bag. He shoved a notebook and a few pens into it, already anxious to be using them just like other people did. He smiled at the thought of being able to write his own name, and his hands moved faster.

He was about to leave the room, when a sudden thought struck him. Whirling around, he turned to look at the night table by his bed. Usually, the sight of his furry friend would have greeted him, but now, the nightstand was empty. He had given Yoshi to Duo, to keep him safe from nightmares.

He wasn't so sure if he should go to Tataki-sensei all by himself. The man seemed nice, but he was still a stranger, mostly, and Heero didn't feel so comfortable around strangers. It was kind of hard for him to trust them, and not to mention that he felt more than a little insecure about going there to study. Yoshi always made these feelings disappear. He always felt safe while with his furry friend. But Duo-chan needed Yoshi more than he did, so he better go alone. Besides, Tataki-sensei was a nice man, he trusted him. He can go alone. Duo-chan needed Yoshi.

And so, Heero loaded his backpack over his shoulder and rushed out of the room, smiling at the thought of knowing how to read.

* * *

"Ah, ohayou, Heero-kun! How are you?" Tataki greeted as he opened the door, offering Heero a big toothy smile.

The Japanese boy smiled back, a little sheepish. "I-I'm okay, s-sensei. How are you?"

"Oh, you know- same old! Same old!" The man carried on cheerfully, opening the door wide and gesturing Heero to enter.

Heero nodded his thanks and took a hesitant step forward. He held his bag's suspender tightly, looking around the apartment warily. The apartment was just like theirs, but still, it looked different. At first glace it looked kinda homey and warm, just like he imagined an old man's place should look like, but then he thought that it looked kinda... dark. The walls were packed with pictures and posters, every appliance was state of the art equipment and in front of the HUGE TV was a set of black leather armchairs. An odd smell was in the air, something sweet and sour at the same time, combined with another odor, a strong and acute smell that burned his senses.

Heero swallowed and held his bag tighter. He liked his home much better.

"I'm surprised that you came so quickly." Tataki spoke as he closed the door. "I was certain that you will change your mind once you'll think it over."

Heero frowned and turned to face the man. "Why? I want to learn the letters."

Tataki smiled, a smile that bordered on a sneer, once again exposing his set of large white teeth. "That's a healthy attitude you got there, young man!"

The boy smiled weakly. "So you'll teach me, right?"

Tataki smirked and took a step closer to Heero, now mere millimeters from the boy.

Heero made a face and tried to inch away as he could suddenly smell the man's strong aftershave. He felt uncomfortable under the gaze of those thick and dark glasses. He could never tell what the man was thinking, because he could never see his eyes. He flinched when all of a sudden he felt the man take his hand in his and squeeze it lightly. He turned to look at him, a bit startled.

The man just continued smiling, the light refelcting off his shadowy glasses. "Of course I will, Heero-kun, but first you'll need to help me with something. Like you promised, remember?"

Heero swallowed and managed to somehow nod his head, ever so slightly. His heart was beating faster for some reason, like it knew that there was danger, but Heero could see nothing dangerous about the situation. Taking a deep breath, Heero offered a faltering little smile. "A-aa. I'll help, Tataki-sensei..."

* * *

Heero looked around with awe as Tataki led him into one of the rooms in his apartment. It was a large room, just like Duo-chan's bedroom. It too had a large bed in it, but still the room was VERY different from Duo's. The walls were painted in a strong and blinding red, and the window shades were closed so it was very dark. Shiny and dark satin sheets, and a few large pillows covered the bed. And all around the bed were sets of flashlights, just like they had on movie sets. They were all aimed at the bed.

Heero frowned and whirled around to face his sensei.

"Ne, sensei, how come you sleep with so many lights? Are you afraid of the dark?"

Tataki laughed. "No, of course not. I use them for my work." He walked over to a desk at the far end of the room, and picked up a few things. Heero could not see what they were, but it looked like Tataki was adjusting something.

"Work? What work?" He asked, pulling his small backpack up, for it kept sliding off his shoulder.

"I'm a photographer." The man answered with a smile, holding up the thing he had picked up before. Now Heero could see that it was a camera, with a large, long lens. The Japanese boy's lips lifted up in a smile.

"Hontou ka?! You take pictures? That's your job? Sugoi! Are you gonna take my picture? Ne, can I help you? Can I take some pictures too? Ne? Ne?"

Tataki chuckled at Heero's excitement. "Sure, you can help me." He answered, adjusting the camera's lens. "I can't be a photographer if I have nothing to shoot, right?" He sent Heero a playful wink.

Heero's smile broadened. "You want to take a picture of me?! Hontou?! Duo-chan never took a picture of me... are you gonna photograph me? Really? You want to?"

The man smiled. "Sure, you'll help me by letting me photograph you, and in return, I'll teach you the alphabet. What do you say, huh? A letter for every picture."

"Aa!" Heero hurried to agree, nodding his head eagerly. He dropped his bag down to the floor, his notebook forgotten, and rushed over to his sensei, his fingers eager to play with the camera. "Can I hold it, sensei? Can I?"

"After we're done with our lesson, okay?" The man spoke kindly, pulling the camera out of Heero's grasp.

Heero pouted but backed off anyway. He looked around the room again, his blue eyes studying the many flashlights around the room.

"Well, how about you'll get ready while I'll prepare the lighting." Tataki spoke after a while and Heero could feel him nudge his bag out of his hand. He whirled around to look at the man, his blue eyes wide. Tataki merely smiled and gently pulled the bag away. "You won't need it." He said, putting the small backpack aside. Heero watched him carefully, his body tense.

Tataki noticed the boy's tenseness and made sure to be extra gentle with the bag. He placed it gently down on the floor.

Heero relaxed.

Tataki turned to him and nudged his clothes as well.

Heero gasped and looked down at where the man was pulling his shirt.

Tataki smirked. "You won't need those either."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Heero was lying on the large, satin covered bed, with only a single black sheet covering his slender form. At first, he did not agree on taking his clothes off. He was embarrassed, appalled and not to mention frightened by the idea. He was about to go home when Tataki assured him that he meant no harm.

His sensei told him that he had nothing to be shy of, for they were both males and had nothing to hide from one another. While the argument did seem logical, Heero was still reluctant to remove his clothes in front of the man.

Then Tataki said that if that's what he wanted, he should go find another teacher. He will only teach him the alphabet if Heero will help him. With no other choice, Heero agreed to undress. Though he set some rules first. He told Tataki that he is not allowed to touch him in ANY way, and he made the man promise that he will NOT show these pictures to ANYONE.

Smirking to himself, Tataki agreed.

Slowly, hesitantly, Heero shed his clothes and covered himself with a sheet. He watched his sensei like a hawk as he walked back into the room. The man just smiled kindly at him and told him to sit on the bed. He even allowed him to keep the sheet around his waist.

Blinded by the bright lights, Heero narrowed his eyes, trying to see what the man was doing. He could hear that he was setting his equipment, whistling silently to himself. Heero fidgeted, feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden. He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm, as he felt that black and slimy mist creep down the edges of his mind. He felt as if those Hands were somewhere out there... waiting... lurking in the shadows... wanting to touch him... feel him... hurt him... make him cry out until his throat hurt and the tears would run out...

"Okay, all set." Tataki spoke up all of a sudden, and Heero shivered. He looked up, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the light.

"Lie down on your side." He could hear Tataki say, but he could not see his face clearly. Sighing, Heero did as told, lying down, supporting himself on one elbow.

He tensed as Tataki suddenly came out of the light and reached a hand down towards him.

"Iya da!" He called, pulling away from the man.

Tataki sighed. "I was just going to arrange the sheet so it will look nice." He spoke, sounding a little annoyed. He looked down at Heero, his eyes hidden for the bright light reflected off his shiny glasses.

"Oh." Heero let out, smiling sheepishly. "G-gomen, s-sensei..." He mumbled, forcing his heartbeat to calm down as Tataki reached down for the sheet again.

The man arranged the black satin sheet so in only covered the boy's groin, exposing the golden skin of his thigh. He shivered a little as the tip of his fingers brushed over the hot skin. He sucked in a deep breath and hurried to pull away. He stood up and looked at the boy, examining his 'model'.

The boy was absolutely beautiful. His skin, smooth and flawless, looked richer under the lighting he had set up. The golden colored skin seemed almost exotic under the warm lights of the room. The only thing that hid the boy's silken skin was a shiny satin sheet, which barely managed to hide the boy's treasures. The boy's chocolate brown hair was shining under the blinding lights, falling over his midnight blue eyes.

"Look at me." Tataki spoke, his voice strained all of a sudden.

Heero complied and those shining blue eyes were suddenly looking straight at him. His heart missed a beat and he gasped quietly.

The boy was just too beautiful for his own good.

Taking a deep breath, Tataki licked his lower lip and prepped the shot.

The shutter opened and closed and the camera snapped.

Heero blinked against the blinding lights and raised a hand to push a few bangs out of his eyes.

Tataki sucked in a quick breath and the shutter snapped again.

For hours, the only sound that filled the small room was the sound of the shutter as it opened and closed, time after time. It was accompanied by the sound of rustling sheets as Heero was ordered to change his posture again and again, exposing himself to the camera.

* * *

When evening fell, Heero was sitting in his room, on the floor, in front of an open box. It was a colorful little wooden-chest, no bigger than a normal shoebox. The Japanese boy was humming quietly to himself as he reached his hand into the box, arranging a few things here and there. The box didn't hold much in it, just a few scattered items, seemingly meaningless to the random spectator. A few photos, a small toy or two, chocolate bar wraps, souvenir pens, dried leaves, colorful rocks, sea shells, three coins and a movie ticket. Nothing that seemed overly important or valuable. But to Heero, they meant the world.

He didn't remember when he began to collect all of this so-called 'junk', but he remembered how happy he was when Duo-chan gave him this wooden box, smiling and telling him about hidden treasures and such. Happy to have his own treasure, Heero kept his collected treasures in the box and he had been doing so ever since. Not everything received the privilege of being inside his box. No. Only things that were meaningful and special to him were allowed to be in the box. Things that made him smile at the memory of how and where he got them.

The Japanese boy smiled to himself as he prepared to place another item into his cherished box. It was a small and wrinkled note, his payment for today's hard work. He yawned and reached a hand up to rub his tired eyes. He pushed a few sweaty bangs out of his eyes and turned to look at his note again. His smile broadened as his eyes studied the small note.

"K." He whispered, unable to wipe the smile off his lips. He reached up another hand for the note, caressing the letter with the tip of his finger. He chuckled weakly, his tired blue eyes reading the letter again. " 'K' as in... as in... kite..." He smiled tiredly. "'K' like... like..." He frowned. "Kake? Iie... chigau... 'K' like... like... kooky?" He sighed, blowing out air in order to push a few messy bangs aside. He looked down at his note, his blue eyes tired and sad.

Heero sighed and looked at his note again. "Wakaranai. . ." He mumbled sorrowfully, feeling tears about to come. He sniffled and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. His hand trembled as he held his note tight, and a shiver ran through his body. He was tired and his head was pounding mercilessly. He had worked so hard today, lying under all these blinding and hot lights. He was so tired and hungry and thirsty, but that was not the reason his hand kept trembling.

Images of what he had done today flashed in his mind and Heero choked out a small whimper. He shut his eyes tight and drew a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He could hear the rush of blood in his ears and the aching in his head grew stronger. The throbbing was getting wilder, like his brain was pounding against his skull. The black slime was getting thicker, nearly smothering him.

Heero gasped and shook his head forcefully. He opened his eyes and struggled to focus his blurry vision on the note. He looked down at his newly learned letter, panting heavily, like a drowning man struggling to breathe. He focused all of his being on that one small note, assuring himself over and over that it was worth it. His head continued pounding and he could almost feel those slimy black Hands on him, but he struggled against them. To learn to read, to make Duo-chan happy, to know how to write down his own name... to be like everybody else... He will struggle. He will fight the black slime that threatened to smother him in its gore. He will struggle. It was worth it so he will struggle.

Taking deep and long breaths, Heero forced his trembling hand to move. He placed his note carefully in his box, sending it a finale glance. He smiled sadly at it, and then finally closed his precious treasure box.

It was then that the front door clicked open and Duo walked in. A small smile spread over Heero's tired features, and the boy hurried to push himself off the floor. He jumped up to his feet and ran out of his room, ready to greet Duo-chan as he always did.

"Duo-chan! Okareinasai!" He called as he rushed into the living room, anxious to show Duo what he had learned. The thought of making Duo happy chased all of his worries away, and his headache was forgotten. "Duo-chan! You wanna know what I learned?" He asked with a smile, his blue eyes sparkling.

Duo was currently hanging his jacket on the hanger by the door, his back facing Heero. He reached up a hand and slowly rubbed the back of his neck. Heero watched him anxiously as the braided young man slowly tilted his head back, groaning as his strained muscles were stretched. He massaged his aching neck for a while longer, and then slowly pulled his hand away. Heero could hear him sigh heavily, and only then the young man turned to face him.

Duo's eyes widened briefly as he caught the sight of Heero. The young man was standing before him, wearing nothing but a large and sloppy tank top and a pair of shorts. The blue tank top's sleeves were sliding off the boy's frail shoulders, revealing his smooth chest. His shorts were a bit large as well, hanging low on his waist, exposing the delicate curves of his hipbone. Added to that, were the boy's sparkling blue eyes and his dazzling smile.

Duo swallowed and hurried to look away. He took a deep breath and prayed to God that he wasn't blushing. It wasn't the first time that he was seeing Heero like this. The boy always walked around the house bare foot and sloppily dressed. He felt comfortable that way, and he could move around more freely. Duo was used to seeing him like that. Hell, he had even seen him naked on countless of times. While at first he felt a little sheepish when washing Heero and such, he got used to it in time. He had learned to look at Heero in a strictly clinical way. But lately... lately he was beginning to look at the boy differently. Images of his erotic dreams assaulted his mind at every waking and none-waking moment. Seeing Heero's body exposed like this was not a sight he could handle seeing right now.

So Duo hurried to look away and rushed towards the kitchen.

Heero frowned, and turned to look at Duo's direction.

"Ne, Duo-chan, do you wanna?" He asked, watching Duo as he bent to look into the refrigerator.

"Sure, Heero." Duo answered, his voice quiet and tired. "You can tell me while I'll make you some dinner, okay?"

Heero's smile returned. He rushed over to the small kitchen, eager to show Duo that he had learned a new letter today. But his smile soon faded as the braided young man turned away from the fridge and Heero was faced with the sight of his eyes. There was a sad and tired look in Duo's eyes. The violet orbs looked darker than usual. Their color was duller than usual, as if slowly fading away. He had black bags under his eyes and his features were worn and haggard.

The Japanese boy sighed and cast his gaze down sadly. "Ne, Duo-chan, are you really tired again?"

Duo sighed, putting a small pot on the stove. ". . .yeah." He finally answered, opening a drawer and taking out a wooden spoon. He then forced out a chuckle and turned to Heero with faltering smile. "Dun worry about it, though. I'm just not getting enough sleep lately, that's all." His smile faltered again as he was faced with Heero's deep blue eyes.

"Is it bad dreams?" Heero asked, looking at Duo with his expressive blue eyes.

Duo froze in his spot, unable to look away from those intense blue eyes. It seemed like Heero was seeing straight into him. He could actually feel the weight of his gaze upon him. Duo swallowed and hurried to turn away.

"Yeah, Heero. Very bad." He finally answered, his voice solemn.

Heero continued standing quietly, studying Duo as the young man began cooking dinner. There was nothing he could think of saying. He knew what it was like to have bad dreams, and he also knew how hard it was to tell someone about them. When he had dreams about the Blackness and the Hands, he always felt frightened and uncomfortable with telling Duo-chan about them. He wished Duo would talk to him, but he understood why he didn't want to. All he could do right now was to try and make Duo-chan feel better. Maybe even make him smile.

"So," Duo finally broke the silence, his voice suddenly cheerful, though Heero could tell that he was faking it. He knew how Duo sounded when he was really happy. His voice sounded like honey when he was happy. Right now, it sounded like cracking glass.

"So, uh, what did you want to show me?" Duo finished his sentence, and Heero looked up.

"Huh?" He asked dumbly, for he was distracted from his musings.

Duo chuckled and shook his head in amusement. "You wanted to show me something."

"Ah, right." Heero smiled sheepishly and nodded his head. He turned to look at the table, where the notebook Duo had left him was lying next to a few pencils. He then reached a hesitating hand towards them. Slowly, carefully, he took a pencil into his hand and turned to the notebook. Biting his lower lip, his eyes narrow in concentration, Heero wrote down letter after letter, from 'A', to 'K'. He paused when it came to the letter 'J', his heart pounding loudly, but he took a deep breath and then wrote it down anyway. He winced as his hand finished writing the letter, and hurried to move on and write the finale letter he had learned. When he was done, he smiled, looking down in satisfaction at his work.

"Hee-chan?" Duo's voice came from behind him, sounding a little confused.

Heero smiled and took the notebook in his hand. He turned around and showed it to Duo. He watched the violet orbs narrow in question and then widen. A smile slowly crept up Duo's lips and the light suddenly returned to his eyes. Heero had to keep himself from grinning at the sight.

"You wrote it?" Duo marveled, taking a step towards Heero.

The Japanese boy nodded his head, grinning.

"All by yourself?" Duo let out in astonishment, reaching for the notebook.

Heero's smile faltered, but he nodded nonetheless. "Hai. Is it... is it correct?"

"Heero, it's wonderful!" Duo called, his violet eyes dancing. He brought the notebook up to his face and examined the sloppily written letters, again and again. He smiled and turned to ruffle Heero's hair. "Hee-chan, this is REAL great! I'm very proud of you."

Heero smiled, his blue eyes happy. He ducked his head a little as Duo ruffled his hair again, his cheeks slowly blushing. The black slime didn't bother him anymore. His headache was forgotten. Duo-chan was happy. He made Duo-chan happy. It was worth it. Everything that he had done was worth it!

He'll have to thank Tataki-sensei in the morning.

* * *

"Hee-chan?"

Duo's voice was so small and hesitant as he spoke. He was standing in the doorway of Heero's bedroom, looking down at the boy who sat on the floor, in front of his small wooden-chest. Immediately after he spoke, the boy looked up, his chocolate brown bangs flying up and down. And then those dazzling blue eyes were looking at straight at Duo. A shy little smile touched the boy's lips.

"Hai?" He asked sweetly, smiling at Duo.

The braided young man swallowed, though his mouth had turned dry. He took a deep breath, his hands balling into fists.

"Uh, I was wondering if you..." The boy looked at him expectantly, and Duo found that he was unable to continue speaking. He cast his gaze down, looking at his shoes. "I mean, I have some time now, if you want... if you want to continue with our lessons."

Duo couldn't see it, but Heero's eyes widened a little as he spoke those words. The Japanese boy hurried to look away, focusing his gaze on his box. His fingers tightened around the small chest, and he took a deep breath, feeling really bad for what he was about to say.

Duo sighed as he saw that Heero was not responding. The boy had turned his back to him, and he supposed that he was angry.

"Hee-chan, I'm sorry about what happened the last lesson. I was just tired and cranky, so I burst at you. I'm sorry I took it out on you, Hee-chan. I really am."

The Japanese boy remained still, not looking up at Duo.

"Heero?" Duo let out, his voice fearful. "I really am sorry, Heero."

"Shikashi," The boy suddenly let out, his voice a mere whisper. "You still don't sleep well at night. You can be cranky again."

Duo could feel a painful sting in his heart. He took a step forward, towards the boy. "Heero, I promise I won't say anything stupid again. I understand that it's a little hard for you. It was hard for me too, at the time..."

Heero smiled weakly. "Hontou?" He whispered, still looking down at the box.

Duo chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, it was. Kids were giving me a hard time at school so I didn't really care for my studying. I was always behind everyone else. It took me AGES to learn how to read."

"But its different..." Heero whispered miserably. "You weren't stupid."

"Neither are you."

Heero sighed. He wasn't so sure about that one, but he was still certain about one thing. He wanted to make Duo-chan happy and for that he will need to surprise him. He will show him how he can learn by himself and then Duo-chan will be proud. He needed to learn with Tataki-sensei in ordered to make Duo-chan happy. He couldn't be with Duo-chan AND Tataki-sensei at the same time! He needed to make a choice.

Sighing, Heero gripped his box tighter, and closed his eyes. He could feel Duo-chan's gaze on his back, awaiting his answer.

". . .Maybe... maybe some other time..." He finally whispered, and his heart clenched painfully when he heard Duo sigh.

"Are you sure?"

Heero swallowed, looking down at his box. He sighed. ". . . . .yeah."

"All right." Duo let out, feeling more miserable than ever before. "I understand." He added solemnly, and then quietly left the room.

Heero remained sitting on the floor, looking at his box with tearful eyes. It's gonna be worth it. Duo-chan might be a little sad now, but when he'll see how much he had learned, he will be so happy!

His collection of letters was gradually growing, and soon he will have them all. Tataki-sensei gave him a letter for each scene he shot of Heero. He explained to Heero that taking one photo per scene was not enough, because not all of them come out well. He will set Heero in a certain pose and setting and then take a few pictures. For each scene, Heero got a letter.

The Japanese boy smiled sadly and opened his box. He looked down at his small collection of letters, caressing them with the tip of his finger. He smiled tiredly, studying his notes.

"A... B... C... D... E... F... G... H... I... Ja--"

Heero sighed and then took a deep breath.

"Ja---"

His hand began to tremble, and again he drew in a long breath.

"Jaa--- ja--ja--"

He balled his hand into a fist, his fingernails digging into the palm of his hand and his knuckles turning white.

He had to make Duo-chan happy!

"Ja--"

He had to make him smile!

"J...a...y..."

He gasped and closed his eyes tightly.

"...J."

The Darkness came a little closer but Heero ignored it. He had to be strong. He had to do it! For Duo-chan...

"...H... I... ja-j... J... K... L... M... N... O... P..."

* * *

"Stop fidgeting and just do it." Tataki commanded, his voice harsh.

Heero was lying on the large, satin covered bed. He was naked, and covered only by a thin sheet. He was clutching the sheet close to him, his knuckles white for he held it so tightly. He looked up at his sensei, his cobalt eyes shimmering with doubt and plea. "Uh, anou... I... I don't think I want..."

"Heero-kun," Tataki cut him off, a blinding flicker reflecting off his glasses. "We've been over this the last three times you came here. Now you agreed to help me, right?"

"A... aa." Heero stammered, blushing under the man's hard stare. He bowed his head shamefully, trying to keep his mind off his nakedness. He felt very exposed under all the blinding lights directed at him. There were at least three cameras aimed at him, and they were all connected to Tataki's computer. He didn't know why there was a computer, but he did know that he was hot, tired and incredibly thirsty. He was feeling ill all week, and he nearly didn't come to today's lesson. In the end, he decided to come, because a promise was a promise and he did promise his sensei that he would help him.

But now... now Heero wasn't so sure if he wanted to do as his sensei said. It was not the first time that he had asked him to take the sheet off, but today it seemed that his sensei would not let him get away with keeping the sheet. The last few lessons, he got a little angry, but he let him keep the sheet. Today, Tataki said that it was the sheet or the letters. He cannot have them both.

Heero swallowed and bowed his head down in shame. His temples were throbbing painfully and all he wanted was to sleep. He was very thirsty and hot. He could feel droplets of sweat slide down his bare skin, and when he looked down he could see them glister under the harsh lights.

"Heero." His sensei's voice snapped him back into reality, and Heero looked up, his gaze tired. He blinked, trying to focus his vision on the man's dark glasses. He licked his cracked lips slowly, and took a deep breath. His sensei was talking, but he was having a hard time to catch up with him. His head hurt so badly...

"...and we also said that you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. We're both males, correct?"

Heero swallowed. "...A-aa..." He mumbled, looking down at the bright red sheets. He began playing with them, running the soft material between his fingers, doing anything to avoid eye contact. The thick black slime was pushing against the boundaries of his head, trying to crack it open so it could sip in. Heero shuddered and raised a hand up to wipe the sweat off his brow. He wanted to go home... He wanted to go to bed... to sleep...

"I'll tell you what!" Tataki's voice burst violently into Heero's fuzzy stream of thought. The boy jerked his head up, looking up at his sensei with dull blue eyes.

Tataki smirked and pushed his dark glasses up. He smiled down at Heero, a blinding glister running over his glasses. "You'll do this one thing for me, and in return..." He smirked, exposing his white teeth. "I'll teach you how to write your name."

Heero's eyes widened briefly and the boy's lips parted in surprise. "Y-you... you will..?" He asked weakly, his voice cracking for his throat was dry from thirst.

The man nodded his head firmly. "Yes, I will. Don't you want to know how to write your own name?"

Heero cast his gaze down, looking at the sheet thoughtfully. To write his name... he always wanted to know how... Duo-chan will surely be happy...

It seemed like an eternity of silence slowly ticked by as Heero pondered over this. Eventually, he took a deep breath and slowly looked up. His blue eyes shimmered with doubt as he looked up at his sensei. "You have to... you have to promise not to touch." He whispered, his cheeks blushed and his voice faltering.

A big and toothy smile spread over the man's lips. He raised his hand up over his heart. "I swear to God that I will not touch you." He gestured towards the camera. "I'm just doing my job." He took a step closer to Heero and carefully nudged the sheet out of his hold.

Heero flinched, pulling away a little.

At the sight of Heero's distressed blue eyes, Tataki smiled kindly and turned to ruffle the boy's unruly hair. "Don't you want to know how to write your name?" He asked, as if hurt by the boy's actions.

Biting his lower lip, Heero looked into the man's eyes, trying to sense his honesty. After a while, he sighed and looked away. He released his hold on the sheet. He has to make Duo-chan happy... he has to... Duo-chan was so sad and tired lately... he will surely be happy if he'll see that he can write his own name...

He felt the sheet being nudged a little and the Darkness closed on him a little more. He could feel the weight of the black slime press against his body, but he did nothing to fight it. He let his sensei take the sheet off, feeling the man's hands brush against his skin.

He had to make Duo-chan happy.

Tataki smirked and slowly peeled the fabric off the boy's lean body. He held his breath in anticipation, as inch by inch the boy's body was uncovered. His dark eyes were wide with breathless anticipation as he pulled the sheet away, not leaving the sight of the Heero's slim hips. He sucked in a deep breath and then licked his lower lip. He took his time relishing in the sight of the boy's treasures.

Blushing furiously, Heero kept his gaze away, his fists clutched around the sheets that covered the bed. He could feel the man's eyes on him, and he tried his best not to fidget. He could almost feel the man's hot breath over his heated skin, and it made him shiver. He closed his eyes tight, feeling the Darkness threaten to smother him once again. The Hands were almost here now... but he had to fight them. He had to know... he had to make Duo-chan happy... he had to learn... to know... to do as his sensei asked because there was no other way.

Cherry-red lips parted as Heero took in deep and slow breaths, trying to calm the racing of his heart. He did his best to try and fight the thick and slimy Darkness in his mind. He will fight it... for Duo... he will fight it... To learn his name... to write his name... it will surely make Duo happy...

The Darkness was so heavy... His heart pounded powerfully, the rush of blood roaring in his ears. His breath quickened, and the air was so hot that it was hard to breathe. He closed his eyes tight, trying to calm down.

He will not let the Blackness win.

He didn't even feel it as a meaty and callous finger slowly trailed over his inner thigh. He did not feel the shiver that went through the man, nor did he see the light shifted on the man's glasses, finally exposing the look in his eyes. The darkness evident in them as he looked down at the boy's young flesh.

He remained with his eyes closed and his jaw clenched, fighting the Darkness that tried to claim him once more.

He will not let it win.

"Saa, lets begin, shall we?"

He will not let Him win!

The camera snapped away. The air grew hot and the Darkness grew thicker.

He tried to fight it. He really did.

A... B... C... D...

"Turn over."

"Spread your legs."

"Put your hand over your head."

"Tilt your head back."

"Close your eyes."

...E... F... G...

"Your finger, put it in your mouth."

"Suck."

"Harder!"

"Your hips- up. Now."

"Higher."

"Higher!"

...H... I... Ja--

"Move aside."

"More."

"MORE!"

"Spread your legs."

"Wider."

"Raise them up."

Ja--

"Higher!"

"Wider!"

"HARDER!!!!"

Jaa----

"Turn over!"

"Suck!"

"Hands up!"

"Head back!"

"HIGHER!"

"WIDER!"

"HARDER!"

...K... L... M... N...O... P...

* * *

The last rays of sunshine were the only things that greeted Heero as he stumbled back home. He didn't even bother to lock the door as he staggered into the small apartment, holding his head, like it will fall if he'll let go. He was sweating and panting, and not very much aware of the fact that he was wearing only his underwear. He was holding his clothes in his trembling hands. Tataki just shoved the clothes into his hands and 'escorted' him out of the apartment. Tired, thirsty and disoriented, Heero waddled down the corridor, reaching to the wall for the support as he walked.

He was barely aware of what he was doing when he entered his room, his hands letting go of the clothes. They fell onto the floor in a discarded heap. Still holding his aching head, Heero staggered over to his bed, and collapsed onto the mattress.

He was asleep even before his head hit the pillow.

* * *

When the moon was halfway through the heavens, the front door opened again and Duo walked into the apartment. He threw his Preventer's jacket in the direction of the coat hanger, and missed. The jacket fell down to the floor but Duo didn't really care. He walked heavily into the apartment, rubbing the back of his neck. He had a tired look on his features, his braid falling apart. He loosened his tie as he made his way heavily towards the corridor. Once he untied it, he yanked it away and threw it to the floor.

He was exhausted, nauseous and not very sober. He was supposed to be home four and a half hours ago, but just as he was about to leave the office, a couple of his colleagues offered that he'll join them for a drink in a local pub. He objected at first, but then, suddenly, decide that he deserved that. Fuck everything and everyone else! He too deserved a little fun! Heero can handle just FINE for one night. He's going out drinking with his friends! He was going out to have fun. He was going to LIVE a little. For once, he was going to do what he wanted to do, just because. Not because he had to, not because he was told to, just because. Because he felt like it. That's all. He felt like going drinking with his friends and to hell with all of his responsibilities! He was allowed to forget about them for one. Fucking. Night!

And forget he did. For nearly five hours all he did was to forget. He drank and he danced and he shouted and he sang as he let himself completely go. He laughed with his friends and he told jokes, making everyone laugh as well. Just like old times, he was the joker. The chatterbox. The loudmouthed idiot who wouldn't stop talking. Not the responsible Duo. Not the 'go-home-and-make-dinner' Duo. Not the 'pay-the-bills' Duo. Not the 'set-a-good-example' Duo. He was none of that. For one night, Duo Maxwell was simply Duo Maxwell.

He didn't remember the last time when he had so much fun. But at some point, somewhere between his tenth shot of tequila and the cheering of the crowd, Duo suddenly remembered that he had to go home. He had someone waiting for him at home. He had to go. Cinderella's ballcould only last until a certain hour. He could not live in his fairytale forever. He had to go back home. Back to Heero.

Sighing deeply to himself, Duo walked down the hall of their apartment, heading to the bathroom. He stopped when he passed by Heero's door, taking a deep breath as he was assaulted with dizziness. His mind was all fuzzy and his walking unsteady. He had to take a few moments to get his bearings before he could continue walking.

Taking a deep breath, Duo turned his head and looked up. He narrowed his eyes as he looked into Heero's room. The moonlight filtered through the drapes, illuminating the prone figure that lay on the bed. Heero was lying sprawled across the bed, wearing nothing but his underwear.

Duo frowned, and took a shaky step forward.

He wasn't sure what the time was, but he was certain that it was too early for the boy to be asleep. He also knew that the weather was too cold to be sleeping like that, and the apartment was quite chilly.

Why was Heero sleeping like that? Duo wondered as he slowly approached the bed. He stopped at the foot of the bed, looking down at Heero. The boy's golden skin was washed in magical moonlight, the pale blue light pouring over the smooth planes of his back. Heero's dark bangs were sprawled over the pillow, some falling over his eyes. His lips were slightly parted, his expression calm and innocent in sleep.

Beautiful...

Duo thought, slowly kneeling down by the bed. He settled down on his knees, not taking his eyes off Heero. He watched, enchanted, as the boy's back rose slowly up and down as he breathed. He leaned closer, his face merely millimeters from Heero's, and just gazed at the boy for the longest of time. He then turned his gaze away from Heero's peaceful features, and ran his eyes over the boy's body.

He stopped when he reached the boy's bottom, only now realizing, for real, that the boy was wearing only a pair of cotton boxers. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. Moments ticked by and all he could do was stare at Heero's cotton clad bottom.

Without even thinking, as if acting on its own accord, Duo's hand climbed up, reaching for the limp body that lay on the bed. Duo stopped, his hand merely a centimeter above Heero's skin. He could feel the heat emitting from Heero's body. He could almost sense the softness of his skin.

He took a shaky breath, but he was unable to move his hand away. He was unable to control himself, and he slowly lowered his hand down.

He held his breath, and then, finally, for the first time ever, Duo reached down, and touched his the man he loved.

He felt like he's being burned by the Phoenix's fire. The touch was electrifying, sending a burning jolt of electricity from his fingers, to his head and down to his groin. But he didn't let go. He let his hand rest on Heero's delicate bottom. He swallowed, his eyes wide in wonder.

Slowly, gently, his fingers caressed the boy's hot skin, sneaking under the cotton fabric of his shorts. His lips slowly parted and he held his breath, relishing the feeling of the boy's smooth skin against the tip of his fingers. Heero's skin was so hot... so gentle... so soft... The feeling of his flesh was addictive. He couldn't get enough. He let his fingers dance over the boy's velvet skin, his amethyst eyes trailing after his fingers in wonder, as if they weren't a part of him anymore.

Duo watched them, enchanted, as they traced over the delicate curves of the boy's cheeks. He held his breath as they caressed Heero's baby-like skin, mystified by the way the moonlight washed over the smooth planes of muscles. He closed his eyes slowly, savoring the moment, as his fingers slowly crept down Heero's lower back, and down, lower and lower, between the boy's cheeks. He could feel the burning heat emitting from the prone body. His fingers reached lower, a little deeper, seeking something that should have been reserved only for him.

Duo's lips slowly parted as he took in a deep breath, his eyes still closed in bliss. He let his fingers caress Heero's crevice, allowing them to trail lower between Heero's legs. He could feel the cotton shorts brush over the top of his hand, as if trying to stop him from venturing deeper. But his fingers kept sliding down inside the cotton shorts, their movements getting quicker, more desperate. Duo was lost, his body overloaded with feelings and information.

Heero was so soft... so warm... so... welcoming. Surely he won't mind if he'll...

Duo gasped quietly and a shiver ran through his body. Eyes still closed, his fingers trailed back up to seek that hidden entrance that beaconed him like a flare in the death of the night.

I want to... I want to... Iwantto...I want to be inside you.

I want to be inside you.

I want to be inside you.

I want to be inside you.

I want to be inside you.

I want to be inside you!

I want to be inside you!.

Iwanttobeinsideyou! Iwanttobeinside you! Iwanttobeinside you! Iwanttobeinside you! Iwanttobeinside you! Iwanttobeinside you!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo's eyes widened. Gasping, he jerked his hand away. His eyes were wide with shock and fear as he looked down at the sleeping boy, panting heavily. His heart beat frantically and his head was aching, throbbing painfully. Then, suddenly, he became aware that he was hard. His erection was also throbbing.

What was he doing?! He... he... he touched Heero... He touched Heero! He shouldn't! It just wasn't right! But he... he... he couldn't help it! The boy was so beautiful... his body so inviting... He simply had to. He... he had to...

Slowly, Duo pushed himself off the floor and stood up on two shaky feet. He looked down at Heero's sleeping form, his features pale and full of shock. He couldn't take it any longer. It was too hard to resist. He... he didn't mean to... it just happened...

He could feel his erection throb and his face filled with anguish. He looked down at Heero's parted lips, studying the boy's serene expression.

It was just too hard... He simply had to. He... he had to... he had to... he had to get out of there!

Without a second thought, Duo ran out of the room. A moment later, the front door could be heard, as it slammed shut. Heero lay motionlessly on the bed, deep asleep, not a glimmer of light filtering through the black fog that enclosed his mind.

* * *

Loud music pumped out of the speakers, bombarding the dark club with a violent rhythm. Bodies moved on the dance floor, hands up in the air, hips swaying and bodies clashing. The smell of alcohol and sex was in the air, the air itself thick and hot and almost smothering. Smoke swirled over every corner, the colorful flickering of bright halogen lights flashing within the white mist.

Sliding through bodies, his own body bathed in the harsh lights, Duo made his way out of the dance floor. The furious trance beat rang loudly in his ears, and the lights were so blinding, that he could barely see. But it was good. He didn't want to hear. He didn't want to see. Bodies moved against him and it was like drowning in an ocean of anonymous faces. He needed that. He wanted that. He needed them to move and dance and push him around so he could feel the contact and nothing else. Couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't feel. It made it easier to forget that he was holding someone else's hand as he dragged the faceless person towards the restrooms.

He pulled him to the men's room. The inside was nearly as dark as the club, lit only with backlights that hung over the dark blue walls. The music was muffled but still loud in the room. He let its rhythm guide him as his mind went blank and his body took control over everything.

He needed to do this, to feel this. He needed to feel the violence, the beat, the rhythm, the heat. He needed to drown in it, so he could forget...

His hands were everywhere over the hot body. It was almost perfect. The skin, almost as soft, its color was not the same, but it was dark so it really didn't matter. He just needed to feel. Not to see or think. Just to feel the heat of flesh against flesh. He didn't want to hear him moan or see the face of his nightly fuck. He didn't want to be reminded that it was just another fuck. He just needed to get it over with, to get it out of his system so he could go back. Back to routine. Back to a pair of innocent blue eyes that will never look at him with lust. Back to Heero.

He skillfully slid his hand into the other's pants, unzipping, diving for the hot hardness that awaited him there. He closed his hand around slick skin that stretched over steely flesh and he could feel the other slump against him in response. He wondered if the one he really wanted felt like this as well. He wondered what it would be like to have him in his hand like this.

No time or desire for foreplay, Duo yanked his hand out of the man's pants and then hurried to push them down to his knees. His movements forceful and urgent, he whirled the man around and shoved him against the sink. The faceless companion bent slightly, his hands gripping the sink as he spread his legs as far apart as he could manage.

Duo growled as he fuddled with his own pants, his other hand desperately working to find the lube he had in his pocket. Frantic, he coated himself and then threw the lube aside.

The beating of the trance echoed between the walls and the air grew hotter.

Duo closed his eyes and buried himself inside the hot ass offered to him. He focused solely on the rhythm of the trance and the tightness around his cock. He ignored any sounds the body beneath him made and just slammed into it over and over.

He didn't want to hear Its voice. He didn't want to see Its face twist in pleasure. All he wanted was release for the months of pent-up need. He wanted it quick, painful, hard and violent. He wanted to let his mind shut down for at least a few seconds. He wanted that precious amount of time when he could bring himself to forget.

And as he came, hard and ferocious, his mind blacked out, his senses flooded with hot white pleasure. Now, he could finally forget... finally pretend... He could finally be with him the way his body wanted so much...

Just this once, Heero... Just once...

* * *

It was nearly dawn when Duo came back home. He stumbled into the apartment, staggering back and forth as he made his way towards the bathroom. He nearly fell and flung his hands up, reaching to the door's frame for support. Heero's door.

Panting, Duo kept his head bent between his arms, looking dumbly down at the floor. After some movements of just panting, he slowly looked up, and turned to Heero's direction. The boy was still sleeping peacefully in his bed, curled into a fetal position. His expression was calm and innocent.

Innocent...

Duo gulped and flung a hand up to cover his mouth. He wasted no more time and ran to the bathroom. He dropped down to his knees in front of the toilet and then began to vomit.

Innocent... Oh God... What the hell am I doing..?

Things were getting so confusing... He simply didn't know what to do with himself anymore!

* * *

Days went by. Silence ruled Heero's and Duo's lives. The Japanese boy spent his days bouncing between Tataki's bedroom and practicing his letters. At day, he modeled, and as evening fell he sat by the kitchen table and practiced his writing. One by one his collection of letters grew. He kept them in his box, treating them like the most precious of treasures. He only took them out when he practiced his writing. He would sit by the kitchen table, a notebook in front of him and the box next to him. He would look at the letters and then write them down, over and over, again and again. He wanted them to be perfect. He wanted them to look just right when he showed them to Duo.

He kept his most precious treasure close to his heart. He kept that one note close to him at all times, in the pocket of his shirt. The note where Tataki taught him how to write his name. In both capital and regular letters. He practiced writing his name many times. He never grew tired of it. He would sit there for hours, practicing the writing of his own name. It took him a couple of times until he remembered it without looking at the note. Once he knew the letters by heart, he wrote it down again and again and again. He even tried to make up a signature, like he knew other people had. He tried a couple of variations and then finally chose the one he liked the most. He worked hard on perfecting his signature. Nearly half of his notebook consisted of it. He wrote it down whenever and wherever he could. Being able to write his own name always made him smile.

Although, his headaches were getting worse. He worked all day, pushing himself to the limit. The minute Duo left for work, he went to Tataki and began his lessons. He wanted to take as many pictures a day as he could, so he can learn more and more letters. For each scene his sensei asked him to pose for, he got a letter. He wanted to do as many scenes a day as possible, so he could learn quickly. The work was hard. He spent hours under harsh and burning lights, barely eating or drinking. In the evening, though tired, he would spend all of his remaining strength on practicing his letters. His notebook was nearly full, each page containing dozens of letters. At first they were very sloppy and inaccurate, but as the pages progressed, they became neater and more precise.

Duo was barley home. He worked late and then went out somewhere with his friends. He came back home late at night, exhausted both physically and mentally. He avoided Heero as much as he could. Barely any words passed between them. He would come back home from work, make Heero some dinner and then go out. He came back home late and went straight to bed. He slept about two hours a night and then woke up extra early. The sun would barely rise as Duo made Heero his breakfast and lunch and then hurried to work. They only saw each other at dinnertime, and even that was for a few short moments.

His dreams were getting worse. He worked hard and then went out, trying to busy himself so he wouldn't have to think too much. He would get a casual fuck in a pub or a club and then drown himself in alcohol. It had been a long time since he had stopped drinking, but whenever trouble appeared, he seemed to be back in the habit. Once, there would be a strong and stubborn soldier who would force him to snap out of it, but now there was only a clueless little boy, and a bunch of friends who only cheered him when he drank.

But no matter what he did, no matter how much he drank, he still couldn't bring himself to forget. His body still wanted more. It was not satisfied with that semi kind of life. It wasn't a life at all. It was a hollow existence and it drove Duo mad. He could never have what his body REALLY wanted. His mind tried to convince his body and heart that having Heero was out of the question, but his body wouldn't listen. His mind was assaulted with dreams and daytime fantasies. Typing on his computer for one moment, fantasying about Heero the next.

That's why he was trying his best to avoid the boy. He was never good at restraining himself. When he felt something, the whole world had to know about it. If he was angry, he would scream, rant and shout. If he was sad, he would fight back the tears and then cry. If he was frustrated he would punch the wall and if he was horny, he would fuck. That's why he knew that he had to be on guard. He had to make sure that he wouldn't do anything stupid. If his mind ever surrendered to his body's demands... he didn't know what he would do to himself. That's why he kept his distance. He had to keep distance until this whole hormonal mess will be over. He just hoped that it would go away soon. It was getting harder and harder to fight it.

Heero was also struggling against something that was getting harder and harder to fight. The slimy Blackness in his mind and the dreaded feeling of His Hands was haunting him day and night. The nightmares were back and he was also getting little sleep. He was beginning to feel ill from fear and anxiety, and his hands sometimes trembled even if he didn't want them to. They were trembling now, as he lay on his sensei's bed, watching the man who towered above him. He was completely nude, and even though his body was washed with warm lights, he felt quite chilly. He was feeling very ill today and he really didn't want to come to his daily lesson. But he only had a few letters left, so he wanted to get it over with. He wanted to complete his collection so he can finally show them to Duo.

Swallowed hard, Heero forced his tired eyes to look up, and he nearly flinched as he met Tataki's angry gaze. His eyes were hidden behind his glasses as always, giving the man a very unnerving look.

"We're gonna do something a little different today." Tataki spoke, smirking. He shifted his camera from one hand to the other, looking down at Heero as a blinding glister of light flashed on his glasses.

Heero swallowed again and slowly shook his head. "Wha... what will we do, se-sensei?" He asked, his voice quiet and feeble. He was too tired to talk. His temples were pulsing really hard and all he wanted was to sleep.

"Well," His sensei began casually, walking back to his desk, which was in the back of the room. To Heero it just seemed like the lights had swallowed him, for he couldn't see him from where he was lying. He heard him set some equipment as he spoke:

"I think that it's time to, heh, raise the photos to a more... higher level. Something that will give the shot a more powerful and, heh... rigid appearance."

Heero frowned. "I... I don't understand." He mumbled, beginning to feel VERY uncomfortable because of the way his sensei was speaking. He spoke so... sneeringly. So teasingly. It made Heero feel very insecure.

"Well, basically what I'm trying to say is that I need you to be up and running for this shot."

Heero's frown deepened, and he looked up at his sensei, very much confused. "You want me to get up?"

"No!" Tataki answered sternly, immerging back into the shadow. "I want you to be up."

The boy on the bed just blinked, still confused. "Be up? How?" He shivered as he felt the man's eyes on him, looking his naked form up and down. He swallowed and fidgeted, still unused to being naked next to the man.

Tataki sighed and then snorted. "Jesus boy, you just don't get it, do you?! I want you hard for this shot! I've been patient with you, and I let it slide all those other times, but now, boy, if you wanna earn your share, you'll have to put up a real show. Otherwise, you can pack your things and go."

Hard? Show? Get it up?! He had no idea what the man was talking about! But he did know one thing, and that is that he will do ANYTHING to learn the last few letters he had left. He wanted to practice them and write them and then finally, FINALLY he will be able to show them to Duo-chan.

Taking a deep breath, Heero looked up at his sensei, cobalt eyes shimmering under the harsh lights. "Wha-what do I have to do, sensei? I don't understand."

Tataki snorted, throwing his hands up in the air. "Don't tell me that you don't even know what THAT means!" He burst, sounding angry.

Heero blushed and ducked his head down in sorrow. "I-- I'm sorry, sensei, but... but I don't. Maybe if you can explain it to me..?" He looked up at his sensei, his eyes shimmering with plea. "Please? I don't want to go home. If you just tell me what to do... I'll... I promise I'll do it."

At that, his sensei's features softened and he sent the boy a sly smile. "Heh, maybe I've been a little too harsh on you, boy. My apologies." He spoke, his voice dripping of malice. Smiling softly, the man knelt down by his 'student'. He reached down a hand to take Heero's, and slowly guided Heero's hand down to the boy's groin.

Heero tensed, looking fearfully at his sensei. Tataki promised him countless of times that he will not touch him, and up until now he had kept that promise. He only touched him when he wanted Heero in a certain position, and so he came to 'arrange' his 'puppet' in a certain pose. But this time, his sensei did something new. This time, he didn't make him put his hands above his head, or behind his back, this time, he guided Heero's hand to his cock.

The Japanese boy flinched and pulled his hand away. Panting, he looked up at Tataki with large and stunned eyes. "Wh-why there?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Tataki smirked. "Because if you won't do it, I won't teach you any more letters."

Seeing that he had no choice, Heero sighed and his shoulders slumped. His hand trembled as he moved it, but he ignored the trembling and reached down to touch himself again. He then looked up at his sensei, waiting for his approval.

Tataki sighed and shook his head. "Like this." He said, taking hold of Heero's hand again. He felt the boy tense as he guided his hand again, guiding the boy's fingers one by one, forcing him to close his fist around his shaft.

Heero gasped at the strange feeling, his cobalt eyes wide with shock.

And then he felt Tataki begin to guide his hand, moving it slowly up and down.

His body tensed even more as he felt himself slowly harden. He gasped quietly at each careful stroke, a strange and ticklish feeling spreading through his lower body. He swallowed hard and then his mouth gaped slightly open. His breath quickened as he felt Tataki's hand closed tightly around his own hand, which forced him to squeeze his own growing arousal.

A small moan escaped his lips and his eyes rolled back in pleasure. He felt the man repeat the squeezing motion and he did the same, tightening his hold around his cock. He gasped loudly and raised his hips up, unconsciously trying to meet with his own stroking.

Tataki smirked at the sight. His eyes studied the lithe body as the boy titled his head back against the pillow. His back arched off the bed as he raised his hips up once again, thrusting his cock into his fist. He let go of the boy's hand and his smile grew as he saw that the Japanese boy didn't even notice and continued stroking himself.

He chuckled darkly and got up. "Just keep going." He ordered the boy, raising his camera up.

Heero moaned in response, barely registering the sound of the shutter as it opened and closed. All he knew right now was heat. The heat that spread from his groin and through his entire body. This great overwhelming pleasure that overloaded his senses. He never felt anything like this. He stroked himself fervently, his hand moving faster and harder, working to bring himself over the edge. He moaned loudly at every stroke, thrusting his head back into the pillow and raising his hips up in a desperate motion. His other hand began to travel up on its own accord, making its way to his nipples. He began to toy with his own nipples, running a pinkish peddled between two trembling fingers.

The bed rocked and creaked as the boy pushed his body up and down, again and again. His eyes were closed in ecstasy as he closed his hand tighter around his arousal, so hard until it hurt. The pain enticed more of this strange feeling and he cried out in both pleasure and pain. He panted wildly, concentrating only on the feeling between his legs and the flaring white-hot pleasure that coursed through him. He was now breathing heavily, head thrown back, eyes clenched as he rode the waves of pleasure that assaulted his senses.

And then, from within the burning white, came Tataki's orders.

"Turn around."

Snip!Snap!

"Move aside."

Snip!Snap!

"Put a finger in your mouth."

Snip!Snap!

"Suck!"

"Harder!"

Snip!Snap!

"Go faster, boy! C'mon! Faster!"

Snip!Snap!

Snip!Snap!

"Ah! Yes! Yes! Go! Higher! Raise your hips higher!"

Snip!Snap! Snip!Snap! Snip!Snap!

"Ah-Ah---AHHH!" Heero couldn't take much more, and with a finale cry, he exploded, spilling his seed on his hand and stomach. Ecstasy burned at his nerves endings, and he panted wildly. His eyes were now wide open, staring up at the ceiling, but yet he was blind to anything that went around him.

Gradually, the pleasure faded away and Heero was left lying on the bed, completely aghast. His expression turned from pleasure to confusion and then fear. Slowly, he turned his numb head aside, and looked at Tataki. He was still panting, his breathing erratic. His eyes were numb and glazed over with pain, anguish and confusion. He tried to look into the light, seeking his sensei, and then suddenly, he gasped.

There was no light. Only Darkness. This thick, slimy and all consuming Darkness. It was all around him, closing in on him. It was getting closer... closer... preparing to swallow him whole.

And he could hear them! He could hear the Hand! He could hear their tapping and clacking as they slowly made their way towards him. They were hiding in the Darkness and now that it was so close, they were here to get him! They wanted to touch him! They wanted to hurt him! They were so close... so close! They were going to take him back! They will take him back into the Darkness and there will be nothing left! Nothing! He won't be able to come back from there ever again! He didn't want to go back into the Darkness! He didn't want to! It was cold and it was scary and it hurt so bad! It hurt so very very bad!

He had to get away! He had to run away before it will get him! He had to run away now! He had to… to find Duo-chan! He had to find him so he'll be safe!

"Duo-chan!!!" Heero suddenly shouted and jumped out of the bed. The sheets were all tangled around his slim body and so he fell down with a silent cry. Whimpering, he pushed himself up, and began to run. He clutched the sheets close to his body, as if to protect himself, as he fought his way through the Darkness. He kept running as fast as he could, shoving the slimy Blackness away. He ran, sobbing and panting at the same time, until he finally found a glister of light. It was a dim and nearly dying ray of light, but he found it. He ran into it and hurried to close the door behind him.

Panting, he clutched the sheets closer and ran towards his room. He closed the door behind him and threw himself on the bed, shivering wildly. He kept watching the door anxiously; making sure that the Darkness will stay out and never enter the light. The light was dim and dull as it is, he didn't want the Blackness to enter here too!

His heart beat wildly and his whole body trembled. He pulled the covers closer to him, pulling them over his head. He was safe here. He was safe in the light... he was safe here... he was safe...

The blistering headache returned in full force, and Heero began to cry, sobbing quietly into his pillow. His bed shook with the tremors that assaulted his body, and he continued laying there until sleep claimed him.

He didn't even notice as the Blackness began to slowly leak through the cracks of the door, the slime slowly pouring into his room. The light became a few shades darker. Duo barely noticed it when he came back home. His world had long turned into shades of gray, and he was not aware of any Darkness or Light. He just went straight to bed, collapsing in an exhausted heap of limbs, hair and clothes.

Silence was the only thing that remained in the small, and dark, apartment.

* * *

Deep blue eyes...

He could see them roll back in pleasure as he bent down and ran his tongue over hot and silky flesh.

Rosebud lips...

He could see them part as his tongue found a nipple and began toying with it. He swirled the pinkish pebble with his tongue, nibbling the sensitive flesh.

Skin like gold...

He could feel it burn as he continued with his ministrations, his hands trailing over smooth planes of taut muscles.

Hands like silk...

He could hear them gripping the sheets tight, as his own hands continued to tease the quivering body beneath him.

Your touch... your smile... your presence... your love... it's like a heart attack.

Sheets rustled and the air grew hotter. Their bodies began to move in union, rubbing against each other in a wild dance of sweat and tears.

And I'm slowly dying. . .

He could drink the boy's moaning like wine. He was nearly drowning in them. A little more... a little more and he'll be inside him... just a little more and...

But only in my dreams... in my dreams... where I can touch you...love you... feel you...

His hands moved frantically, his breath and heartbeat racing. But the images were slowly fading away. The boy on the bed was slowly fading away.

No, don't go... not until I---

The heat of the night began to chill. The passion was slowly draining away.

But I need more... I didn't have enough yet... More... more of you... please... just once...

He was alone, crying in the dark.

Let me claim you... fill you... Just once!

No one was there to listen. Nothing was left but the echoes of his moans. The ghostly feeling of his skin. The fading taste of his lips. The dying light of his deep blue eyes.

Alone and so very very lonely.

Let me reach out... Just once, Heero... Please Heero... Gods...please... just once...

In the death of the night, Duo rolled over in his bed, two shiny silver trials sliding down his cheeks. As his tears soaked the pillow, his hand slowly reached underneath the covers. Even in his sleep, Duo whimpered as his fist closed around his own arousal, moving up and down as his dreams continued to haunt him.

And only a lone and desperate whisper could be heard in the darkness of the room as the young man continued to weep and stroke himself silently.

"Ahhh... just... once... Heero... ahhh... just once..."

* * *

In the next room, another mind was plagued with nightmares. Heero trashed and turned in his bed, his sweat soaked bangs flying from side to side and then sticking to his face again. His slim figure shook with tremors and his hands clenched the sheets tightly. He whimpered silently in the dark, his expression tormented.

In his dreams, there was no color. Only black. Thick and hot Blackness that surrounded him like a swamp. There were sounds in the dark, muffled and unclear, and he whirled around again and again, trying to find their source. His heart pounded strongly against this chest, his breathing frantic. He tried to push the slimy Blackness away, trying to force his way out, to swim to surface, to safety, but the Darkness was the only thing there.

He was suffocating. He couldn't breathe. He opened his mouth to cry out, but it only gave the Blackness a chance to enter him. To violate him. To fill him. Again and again. It flooded his mouth and then his lungs, spreading through his body. He could feel it burn him and then turn painfully cold. He wanted to scream, he tried, but he couldn't. His eyes and mouth were wide open, looking up at the heavens, but all that he could see was the never ending Darkness.

And then, the Hands. They came out of nowhere. They were everywhere and anywhere at once. Launching towards him by dozens, like a million sharp daggers poking out of invisible walls. They attacked him all at once, touching him and probing him. Sharp fingernails dug deeply into his flesh, as the hands pulled him in all directions, as if fighting over him. He was pulled from side to side, back and forth, unable to fight those hurting hands.

He was still screaming, his mouth wide-open, and more black slime poured into his body. He wept silently, his sobbing unheard in the realm of Darkness. Gradually, he became aware of a sound, something other than the rush of blood in his ears and his suffocated whimpers. It was a different sound, echoing from a distance. Fading in, fading out.

Snip!Snap!

Snip!Snap!

Snip!Snap!

The opening and closing of a shutter. A camera. If he looked well enough, he could see the camera's flash flicker in the dark horizon of his dreamscape. Like a bolt of lightning, far, far away. And then there was a pair of shiny teeth, sneering at him. A pair of dark glasses looked down at him, a flicker of light flashing over the lenses. And this laughter, this mocking, hurting, laughter...

The Hands held him tighter, ripping his flesh and smearing his blood. The Darkness began to sip through the wounds, entering him with its chilling slime.

The sound of laughter echoed loudly in the air.

He was scared!

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out the horror.

The Hands continued to toy with him and the Darkness was all around. Around him. Inside him. Everywhere. He was drowning and the only thing he could do was to sink deeper and deeper into the abyss.

He was so scared...

"A. B. C. D..."

He did his best to fight it.

"...E. F. G..."

But it was so hard...

"...H... I... Ja---"

He couldn't.

"Ja--"

He just couldn't.

"Ja--"

"Jaa---"

"Ja!"

In the end, the Darkness always won.

"Ja--AHHHHH!!!!!!"

Heero woke up with a start. He sat up quickly, his whole body covered with sweat and trembling with fear. He was panting, his heartbeat wild to the point when it was almost painful. His blue eyes, glazed over with pain and fear, stared unblinking into the dark.

After some time, he blinked, and then gasped. He hurried to push the damp covers aside and jumped out of his bed. In less than a second, he was out of his room and at Duo's door. Panting, he came to a stop, looking numbly at Duo's door. He wiped the sweat of his forehead and forced his heartbeat to calm down. He then took a deep, long, breath and reached to knock on the door.

No one answered.

Heero swallowed the lump in his throat and tried again. "Duo-chan?" He whispered, his voice so small and fearful that it was barely heard, even in the death of the night.

But no answer came from behind the door.

With trembling fingers, Heero decided to open the door himself. He took a deep breath and peeked into the room.

"Duo-chan?" He whispered, his voice shaking. "D-Duo-chan... the Hands are back..." He looked into the room, narrowing his eyes against the darkness. "Duo-chan?"

Cobalt blue eyes widened in fear, as the Japanese boy realized that Duo wasn't there. The bed was empty, the sheets messy and the covers tossed aside.

Heero swallowed and his hand began trembling again. He took a shaky step into the room, looking around fearfully. "Duo-chan?"

There was an odd smell in the room, one that reminded him of his sensei's "workshop". Heero wrinkled his nose at the smell, approaching the bed carefully. He looked down at it, eyes numb and glistering with tears.

"Duo-chan?" He whispered quietly, looking around once more.

Duo was nowhere in sight.

Letting out a small whimper, Heero dropped himself down on the bed. He grasped the sheets in his trembling hands, noting that the smell was stronger on the bed. He sniffled and carefully lay down on the bed, his eyes looking up at the darkness.

Why wasn't Duo here? Was he mad? Was he mad at him? Was he mad because he let the Hands do whatever they wanted to? Did he know? Did he know that he was going to see Tataki? Was he mad because he didn't tell him about it? There's no way he could know about it! It was a secret! But... but why was he gone? Why did he leave him alone? Why when the Hands were so close..? What did he do wrong?

Heero fought down another whimper and turned to bury his head in Duo's pillow. He could feel his headache coming back and his temples began pulsing painfully. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He looked up, tearful blue eyes shimmering in the dark. He saw his Yoshi sitting slumped on Duo's night table, and reached up a trembling hand for it. His hands gripped the bear tightly, and closed his eyes. He buried his face in the pillow again, holding Yoshi close to his chest. His tears stained the white pillow as he sobbed quietly into the night.

"I let the Hands come closer... Duo-chan, I'm sorry... I let them come..."

* * *

He didn't go to Tataki anymore. He didn't want to go to a place where the Darkness was so strong. He didn't even tell his sensei about his decision, he just stopped coming. He avoided going out of the apartment, not wanting to risk it and run into Tataki. He was sure that his sensei would be very angry with him. So he remained home all day long, practicing his letters.

Duo-chan was still acting strange. He wasn't home much, and when Heero tried to talk to him, he would offer little words and then walk away. Heero supposed that Duo was mad at him. He was mad ever since their last lesson together. Back when he couldn't say that letter, and Duo became upset. Duo must be angry because he refused to continue with the lessons. Duo offered to teach him once more, but Heero refused. He told him that there was no need. At first, he thought that Duo was okay with it, but now he figured that he wasn't. He must be very VERY angry, for he was avoiding him all the time. When Duo-chan was REEEEEALLY mad, he wouldn't shout or rant or anything. He stayed quiet. Giving him the 'Silence Treatment'. Usually it worked, and Heero would soon come and apologize, but now he didn't. He wanted to know ALL the letters first, and then come to Duo-chan. Surely he'll be happy when he'll will show him the letters! He'll probably forget ALL about being mad, and just smile.

Heero couldn't wait for that moment. But now it seemed that he would never reach it. He will never be able to make Duo-chan smile again, because he still didn't know all the letters. He didn't want to go back to Tataki, but he still had a few letters missing. How will Duo-chan ever forgive him, if he didn't show him all the letters?

However, Heero came up with a plan. He will not show Duo-chan letters. He'll do better than that. He'll show him words. Actual words that he wrote, all by himself. No. He'll show him something even better than just words! He'll show him his name. He'll write Duo's name, along with his, and he'll show it to him. That will SURELY make Duo-chan happy.

"...D... U... O..." Heero whispered quietly to himself as his hand carefully trailed over his notebook. He was sitting by the kitchen table, his box on one side, and a bunch of envelopes in the other. It was a stack of those envelopes that had the word 'Bill' all over them. They also had Duo-chan's name printed on them. Heero could tell, because he knew that the letters were addressed to Duo, and he recognized Duo's name because it was the only letter that started with 'D'.

Smiling to himself, Heero continued to write.

"...M... A... and, uh..."

He wasn't so sure what the next letter was, he didn't have it in his notes, but he copied it and continued onwards. Duo-chan was supposed to be home soon, and Heero wanted to be able to write his name PERFECTLY by then. He already knew how to write his own name well enough, and now all he had to do was memorize Duo-chan's name.

"...W... E... L... and another one..."

The clock ticked and the pointers hit seven 'o clock. Heero looked up at the large clock and smiled to himself. Duo should be home soon. He couldn't wait to show this to him!

He returned back to write the name again, biting his lower lip in concentration.

"D... U... O..."

* * *

"When you're standing on the edge of nowhere...

There's only one way up, so your heart's gotta go there..."

An old radio receiver played inside a dimly lit office. It was a rare device that dated back to the 1970's. A rare piece of history. Sometimes, Duo still found it laughable that he managed to pick it up from some dumpster. It was a real challenge to find the right parts and fix it, and the little project kept him busy for quite a few days. It kept him busy and allowed him, if only for a short while, to forget. Forget about everything that bothered him, and just do something that interested him. Something that he loved doing. It was better than any evening spent going out clubbing, fucking and drinking. He spent his nights going between one old shop to another, looking for the missing parts. Pieces of electronic equipment that was long out-dated.

But once the silly little project was done, he was only reminded of his misery once again. The only thing this radio knew to play were sappy old love songs that made the problems come back to surface. So he turned it off. He shut if off just like he tried to do to his problems.

The office was flooded with silence as Duo returned to his work.

It was seven fifteen when he finally finished up all of his paperwork for the day. With a heavy sigh, he closed his terminal, arranged his things and put on his jacket. He walked heavily to the door, sending the office a last, sad, look. He had nothing left to do here. He already finished that day's and the next day's workload. It was time to go back home. Back to Heero.

Sighing, Duo locked his office and headed to the elevator.

* * *

The clock showed seven thirty PM, and Heero could hear the doorknob being turned. Smiling broadly, he jumped out of seat, and hurried to hide the evidence of his practicing. He could hear the doorknob being turned again. It sounded like someone was having difficulty opening the door. Heero chuckled to himself, shaking his head in amusement. Duo-chan probably forgot his key.

He made sure that his notebook and pen were properly hidden under a pile of newspapers, and then hurried to answer the door.

Again the doorknob rattled, making a hell of a lot noise. Heero figured that Duo-chan must be cranky; otherwise, he would be gentler.

"I'll open it!" He called, sliding the key inside the lock. He quickly unlocked the door and opened it. Smiling, he looked up; sparkling blue eyes ready to greet the person behind the door.

Only that 'person' was not Duo-chan at all.

Heero's smile faded and his hand, still on the doorknob, began to tremble.

It was Tataki-sensei.

Heero's eyes widened and he took a staggering step backwards.

Tataki smirked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. A blinding gleam of light flashed over the thick glasses, and the man took a step into the apartment.

"Konbanwa, Heero-­kun..."

* * *

"...Through the darkest nights,

See the light shine bright,"

The same old sappy song kept playing on the radio as Duo drove home. He sighed and glared at the rows of heavy traffic. Car after car after car... it seemed like a never-ending traffic jam. All he could see were yellow and red dots that disappeared into the horizon.

Sighing, Duo took the first exist off the main road, deciding to take the long, but yet VACANT way home. The side roads were all empty and dark. It suited him just fine.

The radio kept playing, and Duo felt more miserable at every word that came out of the speakers.

"When heroes fall,

In love or war,

They live forever..."

* * *

"Ta...Tataki-se-sensei..." Heero stuttered, staggering back. The look the man was giving him was VERY unnerving. His heart began to beat quickly, fear assaulting his mind. Every fiber of his being screamed- DANGER!

The middle-aged man just continued smirking, and took another step forward.

"Heero-kun." The man began in a low, and eerily calm voice. "Why did you stop coming to your lessons?"

Heero swallowed, and took another step back; feeling threatened by the way the man moved. "I... I..." He stammered as he tried to avoid the man's harsh glare. "I... I don't... I don't like what I... what I have to do..." He explained quietly, his voice faltering. He looked up at the man with fearful cobalt eyes. "Se-sensei..."

The man chuckled darkly and arranged his glasses again. "Heero-kun, you've been a very bad student." He stated, his voice frighteningly cold. He took another step into the small apartment, and pushed the door shut with his foot. He turned to Heero with an ominous smile. "You still have a LOT to learn..."

"But I..." Heero let out, and then flinched, startled as his back hit the wall. He had no more room to run. He was pressed against the wall, and Tataki was closing in on him. He began panting, his body trembling from fear and panic. He looked up at his sensei, his cobalt eyes shimmering with plea. "Please, sensei, forgive me, but I--ah!"

He was cut off when Tataki suddenly came to stand right in front of him, pinning him to the wall. He used both his hands to trap the boy, his fists connecting with the wall at each side of the fearful Japanese boy. Heero jumped up in surprise and alarm. He whirled his head to look at Tataki's fists and then back at the man's sinister face. He swallowed hard as he was suddenly face to face with those horribly unnerving glasses.

"I think it's time I gave you your finale lesson, boy. A bad student needs to be punished..."

* * *

"...This a song

For the lonely,

Can you hear me tonight?"

Driving down the dark and lonely road, Duo let his mind wander. He let his mind drift as he listened to the song. He let it help him drown deeper into his gloom, when he suddenly became aware of a colorful stain flickering on the wet asphalt road. It was a reflection of a colorful neon sign, reflecting off a large puddle.

Without second thought, Duo stopped the car. He looked up and saw the sign itself, right above a small pub.

He smiled sadly to himself and turned the car in that direction.

"For the broken hearted,

Battle scared,

I'll be by your side..."

* * *

Heero's eyes widened in fear. "Wha-what lesson?" He stammered nervously, his eyes scanning the room for a possible escape route.

"A good one." The man hissed, leaning closer to the boy.

Heero watched him, eyes wide, as he leaned closer and closer, until their lips nearly touched. He could also feel the man's hands slide off the wall and reach down towards him.

"IYA DA!" He screamed and pushed the man away. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" He let out in a panicked voice, his thin frame trembling.

Tataki chuckled in contempt at the boy's useless efforts. "Heero-kun," He snarled, reaching his hand towards the boy again. "It's not nice to disobey your sensei..."

"Iiya!" The boy screamed again, pushing the man's hand away. "Don't touch me! You're not my sensei anymore! I told you that I don't want to come to the lessons anymore!"

"Then I'll come to you! I'm a private tutor after all... I make house calls, don't I?" The man growled and then launched towards the boy, his arms flying up to grab him.

But Heero avoided those hands and kicked the man in his mid-section.

"I said don't touch me!" He shouted, panting from his effort. His head was pounding mercilessly and he could feel the hot and slimy Blackness creep up on him. The air turned hotter and he was now sweating. His whole body was tense in both fear and alertness. He eyed Tataki dangerously. "Get out! This is not your house! Get out!"

Tataki snorted and reached his hands up again.

Heero punched him in the face and the man's head flew back from the force of the blow.

Panting, Heero looked at him in fearful anticipation, hoping that he had done enough to make the man leave. He used the small amount of knowledge he had managed to learn in karate. Wufei had taught him quite a few things when it came to self-defense, but when it came to offense, he was lost. But he will try. No matter what, he will NOT let Tataki's Hands touch him!

The man, for his part, recovered quickly. He wiped his chin and then turned back to face the one who had hit him. Heero gasped as he saw that the man's glasses had been pushed aside, and for the first time, he could see his eyes.

Unnaturally bright gray eyes that gave him an appearance of a demon. One eyes was a bit larger than the other, his face apparently distorted. He had an evil gleam in his eyes as he looked down at Heero with mockery.

The Japanese boy shivered under the unnaturally frightening gaze. His smaller frame trembled in both fear and anger as he stood there, panting. He gulped as the man launched towards him again, and managed to avoid his punch. He tried to run towards the door, forcing his tired body to move as fast as it could. But Tataki followed, tackling the boy to the floor.

Heero fell down with a startled cry of pain. He hurried to turn around just as another punch was flung his way. He tried to push and kick the man off of him, but to no avail. He was much smaller, in both height and weight, and his body was weak from the lack of proper nutrition and illness.

Tears flooded his eyes as he saw that he could not get the man off of him. He whimpered in distress, and raised two hands up, trying to prevent the man from touching him.

The two tackled each other for a few minutes, kicking, punching and rolling on the floor like animals. At one point Heero managed to break free of the man's hold and tried to run to the door again, but Tataki grabbed his ankle and he fell, face down. He tried everything that he was taught, everything that he had seen on TV and what Wufei showed him, but in the end, he failed.

Tataki overpowered him easily. He rolled the fallen boy so he lay on his stomach and then settled himself on the boy's back. He grabbed a handful of the boy's hair, pulled his head up and then slammed it down on the cold floor. Heero cried out, flinging his hands up behind his back, in an effort to push the man away.

But all was for naught. Tataki slammed his head into the floor again and again. Heero tried to move, to roll over, to do ANYTHING, but there was no escape. He was trapped underneath the man and Tataki used his legs to trap Heero like a claw. His vision blurred and blood flew out of a few small gashed on his forehead.

He could do nothing but whimper weakly as Tataki dragged him to the center of the living room. Tears leaked down his cheeks, mixing with the blood that covered his pale features. He was still panting and his head ached as if it was about to explode. His body was numb with exhaustion and pain, and he didn't have the strength left in him to resist as Tataki grabbed his wrists and tied them up to the foot of the sofa.

Heero lay motionlessly, his prone and limp figure trembling with sobs. His blurry vision was focused on the large clock that hung on the wall in front of him. He stared at it pleadingly, as one by one, his clothing was stripped off of him and thrown to the floor.

The small pointer hit eight 'o clock and Heero closed his eyes sadly. He could feel the heavy weight of the Darkness as it settled over him, forcing his nude body to be pressed against the cold floor. The Hands were on him again, touching him everywhere, cold and sharp fingernails brushing over his skin. He shivered, his eyes squeezed tight. The Darkness was all around him, on him and above him. He was back in the Bad Dark Place and the Bad Man was out of the Shadows again. He could feel his cold and hurting Hands on him, hurting him once again. He wanted to scream, but he knew that if he'll open his mouth, the Darkness would sip in.

So he remained silent and unmoving, as the seconds ticked by. All he had left to do was to wonder why Duo-chan wasn't home yet.

* * *

After two beers and half a bowl of peanuts, Duo staggered back into his car. Blinking to fix his blurry vision, he started the engine. He took a few deep breaths and then switched into first gear. He drove slowly, carefully, despite his drowsiness. In his gloomy mood, he really didn't feel like driving fast. He took his time driving, listening to the radio.

"...And this a song

For the lonely,

When your dreams won't come true...

Can you hear this prayer?

Cuz someone's there,

For you..." [ii]

* * *

The Darkness swirled and moved around him. It was pouring into the small apartment by gallons. The thick black slime flowed out of every crack and into every corner. It covered the furniture and kept moving forward, flooding the living room. The kitchen was already swamped in the gore. It now headed towards him, closing in on the only spot that was left untainted by the Blackness.

Dull cobalt blue eyes watched it numbly as it slowly approached. They stared at the slimy black blob in an almost detached manner. Aside from tears, there was nothing in those eyes. They were empty. They looked hollowly up ahead, as their owner lay on the floor, unmoving.

The Hands trailed over his nude body, their touch gentle and then violent. They caressed his skin, cold fingers probing his flesh. They roamed over his lower back, massaging his shoulder blades in sensational motions, and then gripping his flesh tightly, fingernails drawing blood.

Cold lips were on him, leaving wet trails over his bareback. As the Hands danced over his body, the lips nibbled at his skin. Sharp teeth left tiny bite marks over every muscle. Some were painful, and some just were. Blood sipped out of some bite marks and scratches, mixing with the wet trails of saliva.

Heero felt none of that. His mind was far away. He lay motionless as the man above him continued his game, allowing the old man to play with his body. Two silver trails of tears stained his lovely face, blood oozing out of the wounds on his forehead. His eyes were numb with pain and glazed from tears. He stared ahead, unblinking, as tears flooded his eyes and clung to his thick eyelashes.

When the Hands began to trail lower, he suddenly blinked, dimly aware of the path that the Hands were now taking. He began to pant quietly in distress, as the Hands trailed lower and lower, the cold lips following them in their decent. His body tensed when the Hands stopped at the small of his back, stopping for a second before venturing lower.

A small whimper tore out of his lips as he felt three cold fingers trail lower, caressing his bare bottom. He closed his eyes tight, squeezing out the tears, when those fingers dipped into the crevice between his cheeks. The tongue soon followed and he let out another whimper as both of the assailants found their way into his tight entrance. The fingers teased the small opening for a long, torturing, while and then continued downwards. Again he whimpered as the tongue took their place, teasing him further. He could feel the man's breath on his sensitive skin, and he trembled in fear.

He jerked up; body arching off the floor, as the Hands suddenly gripped his balls. He yelped as they squeezed them, feeling the bile come up to his throat. When he felt the tongue enter him, and the Hands giving him another squeeze, he gulped and he was unable to stop himself from vomiting. He hadn't eaten all day, and so he gagged and coughed, various fluids spilling out of his mouth and leaking on his chin. He whimpered helplessly, more tears pouring out of his eyes. He continued to lie in a mixture of his own blood, tears and vomit, sobbing weakly at every touch.

Pain seared through his body as the Hands suddenly gripped his hips. He felt them raise his hips higher, his ass now up in the air. For some reason, he tried to struggle again, pulling weakly at his restrains. But his hands were tied up to the foot of the sofa. His hands were force to stay down, his head hung low and his ass was up in the air in a most unwilling, but yet inviting position.

He yelped when his hips were grabbed harder, now completely immobilized. He felt something hard press against the crack of his ass and his eyes widened.

This was it. The Darkness would now claim him and there was no way back for him. He could feel it slowly sink into him, hard and painful as always. He bit his lower lip, drawing out blood, as the Darkness broke through the tight ring of muscle that protected his entrance.

His cock was grabbed tightly and Heero's head thrust back up in the air. He moaned loudly as he was suddenly assaulted with pleasure. It mixed with the pain and nearly burned his body into ashes. Again he was squeezed. An anguished scream tore out of his bleeding lips as his cobalt eyes fixed on the door. He looked at it desperately as it towered right in front of him, silent and closed.

The Darkness was almost inside him now. More tears flooded his eyes, streaming down his cheeks like waterfalls. His head was aching like never before, a fierce and violent pain that drilled into his brain. All he could hear was the overwhelming silence, cut by a sharp and high frequency that rang loudly in his ears.

The grip around his waist tightened.

The doorknob began to turn.

The Darkness pushed into him and Heero screamed.

The door opened and Duo Maxwell stepped into the house. He froze in his spot.

His violet eyes widened impossibly and he gasped in horror. In front of him, lay Heero, completely naked. He was supported on all fours, his hands tied to the sofa and his ass up in the air. His face was twisted in both pain and pleasure. Tears and blood stained his beautiful face, and traces of vomit leaked down his chin.

Behind him, also naked, was that asshole-of-a-neighbor Tataki. He was kneeling in front of the boy, his cock just about to thrust into Heero's shackled body. The man seemed to be too caught up in what he was doing, that he didn't seem to notice the horrified Duo. He used his hand to stroke the boy again, earning another moan/whimper out of the young man.

Duo's eyes flared with hate. The violet depths flashed dangerously as the braided young man launched forward with his fists.

"ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

His angered scream echoed inside the silent living room and he jumped up in the air, tackling Tataki into the ground. He didn't even give the man a chance to recover and began to attack him with his fists. He rolled them both over, and then pinned Tataki underneath him. One after another his fists descended on the man's body, hitting and punching him everywhere. His eyes pooled with tears, and the salty droplets leaked down his cheeks as he looked down at the man with anger.

"YOU! GOD! DAMNED! BASTARD!" He yelled with each punch, adding more force into each blow. "YOU GOD DAMNED SONOFABITCH! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS! I'LL KILL YOU! YOU DAMN BASTARD! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL!" Duo shouted, his voice hysteric. Tears continued to pour out of his wild eyes, and he was crying, fighting the sobs as he delivered punch after punch. "YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU'LL FUCKING PAY FOR THIS!"

In the midst of all the screaming and punching, Heero opened his eyes again. He gasped and flinched as he saw Duo sitting on Tataki, beating the crap out of him. Slowly, his lips began to tremble and more tears flooded his eyes. He watched Duo as he jumped up and yanked Tataki off the floor. He choked out a whimper as he saw Duo throw the man at the wall, pick him off the floor and then slam him into the wall again. His face was a mask of malice and hatred.

Heero had never seen Shinigami before, and the sight of Duo's blood-crazed eyes was new and frightening to him. He watched as the young man pinned Tataki into the wall once more and then slammed him into the wall again and again. The man screamed but Duo ignored him, shouting out in anger as he kicked, punched and hit the man.

The sight was so frightening and intense, that Heero was soon sobbing again. His body shook with sobs and he curled into a fetal position. His arms were stretched above his head, but still he brought his legs up to his chest, and buried his face in his kneecaps. He cried brokenly as the sounds of physical assault continued to ring loudly in his ears.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THIS?! HOW DARE YOU!? HOW DARE YOU HURT HIM?! I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF! I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP SO BAD THAT EVEN YOUR MOMMA'S GONNA END UP IN A HOSPITAL!" Duo shouted madly, delivering a strong kick into the man's groin. He was holding the man by the collar of his shirt, his feet dangling a few inches from the floor, as he was pinning him against the wall.

Tataki screamed in pain, his face bruised and bleeding. "It's not my fault!" He called out desperately.

"BULLSHIT!" Duo shouted back, and kicked him again. "I SAW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!"

"HE ASKED FOR IT!" Tataki screamed, trying to avoid another punch to his face. He was unsuccessful. "It's true!" He tried again. "He came to me! He asked for it! HE WANTED THIS!"

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" Duo screamed, his voice hoarse from shouting. He looked back over his shoulder, seeing Heero lying curled on the floor, crying silently. His eyes flashed darkly and he whirled back to Tataki. "HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY WANT THIS, HUH?! HOW CAN HE?!?!?!?!"

The man spit out blood as Duo's fist connected with his jaw. He coughed and then turned his head back to Duo. His face was calm all of a sudden, a mocking look in his eyes as he smirked at Duo. "Why won't you ask him, huh, Maxwell? Why won't you ask your pretty boy about what he's been doing in my apartment for the last few weeks... Why won't you ask him to tell you about our meetings..."

Duo's eyes widened and then narrowed in suspicion. "What the fuck are you talking about?!" He demanded, growling dangerously. He leaned closer to the sneering man, his eyes burning with hatred. He tightened his hold around the man's throat, pulling him up a little as he glare at him straight in the eye. "What. Meetings?!"

Tataki's smirk grew as he looked down at the young man's angry features.

Duo's eyes widened again and he whirled to face Heero. His glare remained unchanging as he looked down in the boy's direction. "Heero, is this true?"

On the floor, Heero let out a silent whimper. He nodded his head weakly, bowing it down and burying it deeper between his legs. He began to cry harder, his voice shaking as he choked out the words. "I'm sorry Duo-chan... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it... I wanted... your name... please see it... please... I'm so sorry, Duo-chan... so sorry..."

"URGH!!!!" Duo growled and whirled back to Tataki. He shoved him against the wall again, so hard that the man fell unconscious. He yanked him forward and then slammed him into the wall again, delivering a hard kick to his groin. He then let him drop down lifelessly to the floor, and kicked him again.

Behind him, on the floor, Heero continued crying, apologizing incoherently between his silent sobs.

Duo ignored the tears that blurred his vision and stalked deeper into the living room. He yanked a wool blanket off the couch and threw it at Heero. The Japanese boy flinched at the violent action and then continued to cry.

". . . Duo-chan. . ." He whispered, looking up pleadingly at the young man who towered over him. His cobalt eyes shone with tears and agony as he looked up at Duo, his lower lips trembling. "Duo-chan. . ."

Duo looked down into those frightened blue eyes, his stare cold and angry. He turned away, walking towards the phone.

"I'm calling the cops."

* * *

"Everything is taken care of. Cammy and Bryan are taking him into the station." Wufei spoke slowly, looking down at the young man who sat on the sofa, staring into thin air. "Duo?" He asked carefully, taking a step closer to the couch. The young man did not respond. He was sitting frozen in his spot, his numb eyes looking up at nothing. A wool blanket hung over his shoulders, and in his hand was a thick stack of photographs. His features were worn and blank, his violet eyes dull and glazed over as he continued to sit there, unblinking. His braid had fallen apart almost completely, and most of his hair was loose against his back.

The apartment was dark and silent, and only the two of them were present in the living room. All of the Preventers left a few minutes ago, and now finally the two ex-pilots were left alone.

"Duo?" Wufei tried again, slowly sitting down by the braided man. He placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, looking at him compassionately. "Duo, you'll have to give me those photos. I promise I'll take care of it."

"Burn them." Duo let out, not bothering to look away from the wall. "The negatives too."

"You know that I will." Wufei answered softly. He sighed and pulled his hand away from Duo's shoulder. "I already asked Biercof to take the site down and erase all the files from the computer."

"No. I want you to find EVERY photo our there and destroy it. I want it all gone. Every link. Every file. I don't want a trace of it, you hear?!" Duo growled, closing his fist around the photos. "Not a trace!"

"Duo, you know that it's not possible. I can't send men to look in every computer out there. Do you know how many people go into those porn sites?!" He sighed, laying a hand on Duo's shoulder. "It's just not possible."

"Then I'll do it!" Duo growled, pulling away from Wufei's touch. "Give me the site's statistics. I can find out who entered it and track them down! I'll fucking kill them for looking at these photos!"

"Duo," The Chinese agent began, looking at Duo with deep concern.

"Shut up and just give it to me!"

"Duo, you can't ju--"

"I said shut up, Fei!"

"Duo, would you listen to yourself!?" Wufei finally burst, gripping Duo tightly by the shoulders. "You're not making any sense! You've got more important things to take care of now!" He shouted, shaking Duo back and forth. "I promise to take care of EVERYTHING that bastard did! I give you my word of honor, but right now, you have to take care of Heero. Leave Tataki to me. Heero needs you now, Duo! He needs you!"

Duo fell silent. For a long time, the two just looked at each other, panting in exertion. At last, Duo sighed and looked away. Wufei sighed as well, pulling away from the dejected young man.

"I'm sorry, Duo. I know it's hard. If there's anything I can do, just..."

"...dun worry about it, Fei. I'll manage." Duo mumbled, looking sadly down at the floor. He gave out a bitter chuckle. "I always do, ne? Shinigami always lands on two feet..." He sighed and turned to look down at the coffee table. There, between a pile of medical supplies and Preventer's documentation, lay Heero's notebook. Wufei found it in the kitchen when he came to make Duo some tea. Now it lay in front of the young man, the silver moonlight illuminating the sloppy handwriting. Heero's handwriting. Duo's eyes pooled with more tears as he gazed down at the small notebook, his vision focused on the writing of both his and Heero's name.

Duo sniffled. He closed his eyes sadly, turning away from the notebook. "He just wanted to know how to read, Fei. He wanted to write our names for me..." Again he sniffled and a few tears fell down on his palm. "...I've been so blind... he tries so hard to please me, and I'm always so fucking dense..."

"Duo, there's no way you could have known." Wufei whispered, reaching for his hand.

Duo whimpered and shook his head. "No... I should have seen it... I should have known... somehow... I... I should have known..." He cried, the tears flowing out rapidly. "Gosh, Wu, I don't know what to do anymore! I... I... I see these photos and I... I---"

Wufei frowned; trying to understand what Duo was trying to say.

The braided man sniffled, and let out a chuckled whimper. "For the last few weeks... I've been avoiding him... I... I can't control it; you know... it's not my fault... I mean, I try... I swear that I do, but... but it's so hard and... and now look what happened! I was too messed up to see that something was wrong and then I walk in and he's on the floor, like that... in that... in that position and I just... I..." He took a deep breath, struggling to speak between sobs. "I can't stop thinking about it..."

Wufei sighed and placed a comforting hand on Duo's shoulder. "Don't worry, Duo. It will pass. In time, it will pass. You two will get over this. I have faith in you, Duo. You can pull through, and so can Heero. Give it time, Duo. Give it time."

Duo knew that Wufei misunderstood him, but he let it slide. He couldn't bring himself to say anything more. He wanted so much to tell someone about his problems, about his lust for Heero, about his anger and fears and frustration, but right now, he was too tired. Tired of thinking, tired of breathing. He just wanted to sleep.

"He's finally asleep." Sally's quiet voice came from the hall, and both Duo and Wufei looked up.

"Is he... is he okay?" Duo asked, his voice shaking.

Sally sighed, walking into the living room. She was holding her doctor's briefcase in her hand. "I took care of the wounds, there was nothing too serious. I was afraid that he suffered a concussion, but he's alright."

Duo still looked at her with worried eyes. "But is he... is he okay?"

Again the woman sighed, slowly sitting down by his side. She looked down at him with compassionate blue eyes. "He was quite shaken, almost to a point of hysteria. I had to give him a sedative."

Duo nodded slowly, looking away. He could hear Sally sigh again.

"He's in shock. I gave him enough so he will sleep the night and the next day through. After that, we'll have to see how things will go."

Again Duo nodded weakly, his violet eyes shimmering with tears.

"I suggest that you will get some sleep as well, Duo." Sally spoke softly.

". . . yeah." Duo whispered back. "I'll do that."

Sally nodded. She eyed Duo worriedly, watching his slumped form for a long while. He kept his head bowed, looking down at his hands. By the sound of his breathing, she could tell that he was crying. She looked up at her husband, her expression distressed.

Wufei returned her lost look, and then looked down at Duo again. He placed a hand over his shoulders, and leaned down towards him. "Duo, we're going to leave now. I promise that I'll take care of everything." He spoke slowly and carefully, his voice soft and his gaze compassionate. "Promise me that you will get some sleep. And don't come to work tomorrow. Take the rest of the week off, okay?"

Duo didn't answer verbally, but he could feel him nod his bowed head ever so slightly.

"It will be okay, Duo." Sally assured him, slowly getting up. "Just give it time."

The young man didn't answer, and just sniffled silently.

"Call us if you need anything." Wufei said, also getting up. Duo nodded weakly and sniffled again, his head still bowed. Wufei sighed and carefully pulled the photos out of Duo's weak hold. The braided man didn't offer any protest and just continued to sit there.

"Goodnight, Duo." The wished him and then left the apartment, their faces covered with worry.

Duo continued sitting there quietly into the night, his tearful eyes staring numbly at the floor. He was blind to anything he saw, and deaf to any sound he heard. The only thing he was aware of, were the images that were burned so deeply into his mind. The only thing he could hear, were Heero's cries and moans of painful and forced pleasure as Tataki tried to rape him.

He didn't think that he'd be able to forget these things. No matter what files the Preventers erased, and no matter what photos they burned, the images were imprinted in his mind. He kept running them in a never-ending loop, and with each photo that flashed through his mind's eyes; his heart began to beat faster.

He's so beautiful...

* * *

Duo lay in bed. It's been twenty-four hours since he had walked into his apartment and found disaster. Heero had spent the last twenty-four hours sleeping. He hadn't woken up since last night, and Duo dreaded the moment when the Japanese boy will open his eyes. He didn't know how Heero would react to what has happened. He wasn't sure that he could deal with any more problems right now. It's been a struggle to deal with things so far, he just knew that he would collapse under strain.

He lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He had been lying like this all day long, gazing numbly at the ceiling. His expression was numb, blank and very depressed. His neglected hair was covering his face in a messy tangle of chestnut strings. His eyes were dark and dull, staring unblinkingly at nothing in particular. The room was dark and the only light that illuminated him came from the open door and window. Heero's bear was slumped somewhere next to Duo, the furry little thing looking up pleadingly at the young man.

But Duo lay still, just staring at thin air. His mind was numb, and his heart throbbing. All he could think of was the look on Heero's face as he walked home last night, and saw him. All he could see in his mind's eye, were Heero's features, twisted in pleasure and pain in one. That one moment when Heero's head thrusted backwards and he cried out and moaned. The scene kept playing over and over in his mind, until it was totally distorted. Heero's tear-stained face was replaced with passionate and lust-filled eyes. Tataki was no longer there and instead it was he, making Heero cry like that.

Crying my name...

The pictures of him... those horrible pictures that bastard took of Heero... they kept flashing in his mind. Even though they were burnt, the images still lingered to his mind. Burning through him like poisonous fire. The more he thought of them, the more he lusted for Heero. The Japanese youth was captured so beautifully in those pictures. They were truly a work of art. He just couldn't stop thinking about them! He couldn't stop thinking of Heero! He tried to sleep, he wanted rest, but all sleep brought him were more and more of those incredibly erotic dreams.

There was just no rest for his battered mind. No peace. Only lust and heat and passion. Passion that will never come to be. Desire that will never be fulfilled. Lust that was to be left burning until it will consume him completely.

"URGHH!!!!!" Duo cried out, kicking the mattress as hard as he could. He whirled around to lie on his stomach and began punching the pillow.

Why can't I have you!?

His legs rose up, kicking the bed in frustration.

Why can't I touch you!? Why can't I feel you!? Why?! Why, damn it! Why?!

He trashed about on the bed, kicking and screaming and crying in the same time.

Only once! Is it too much to ask for!? Why can't I be with you!? WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME BACK!?!?!?!?!?

He began trashing around the room, hitting everything with his pillow. He hit the walls, the closet, the desk, everything. His body rocked with sobs and his cheeks were damp from tears, but he continued raging, running around the room in circles, like a trapped animal. He growled in frustration, shouting and cursing the world.

In the next room, a pair of deep blue eyes widened in fear and horror. They were quickly shut tight, squeezing out the tears. As muffled shouts and cries of frustration filled the dark apartment, Heero buried himself under his covers, his body trembling. He cried silently into his pillow, his sobs increasing with every shout that Duo made.

He knew that it was his fault. He knew that he was the reason for Duo's pain. He knew that it was he who made Duo so sad and angry. He knew it, because he let the Hands win. He let them touch him and claim him. He let the Darkness take him. He let it enter him once more. There was no light left in their small apartment. There was only Darkness, and in the thick Blackness there were only sobs, and tears and pain. He knew it all too well. He had been there before, and now he was back. He was back, and he brought Duo-chan into his Darkness as well. He dragged him into his own, personal and dark hell.

He knew that it was his fault, and he grieved. He cried sorrowfully into the night, his heart hurting as if bleeding. When Duo's shouting and trashing ceased, Heero fell quiet, listening to the silence. He didn't really blame Duo when a few moments later, he heard the front door open and then slam shut. He couldn't really blame Duo, because it was his entire fault. He had let the Hands win, after all.

He hoped that Duo-chan would be bale to escape. It was too late for him, but maybe Duo-chan could still make it. Maybe the Darkness didn't take over him yet.

But then again, deep inside, Heero couldn't help but wonder that maybe it was too late, and the Darkness has already taken over them both.

* * *

Staggering left and right, Duo waddled through the smoky club, a bottle of liquor in his hand. His body swung from side-to-side, his feet tangling as he tried to walk straight. He swooped the bottle up to his mouth and gulped a few large sips of the sour drink. He sighed and wiped his mouth savagely, his dark violet eyes scanning the people on the dance floor.

A dark smirk crept up his lips as his eyes scanned the crowd, like an animal observing its prey. His features were worn and haggard, dark and heavy pockets under his eyes. He was unshaved and dirty. His hair was all over his face, wild chestnut hairs poking out of his braid. His clothes, black leather, reeked of cigarette and liquor. He looked like a bum and not someone who was highly regarded in the Preventers office.

Just another drunk. His charm and charisma were all but gone, his good looks hidden behind a mask of drunkenness and gloom. No one approached him as he brushed past the moving bodies, gulping his drink. People moved aside, wrinkling their noses and making disgusted faces as he tried to approach them. Women and men alike rejected the shattered and drunken young man.

His attempts at flirting weren't much more than a halfhearted attempt of a horny young man. No one approached him. He gave up on the men and even tried some women. He didn't like women, but he was desperate. He'd take anything right now. Anything. Just so he could feel the contact. Just so he could shove his aching need into someplace hot and tight. But no luck. No one wanted to fuck someone who looked and smelled so bad.

When he began making a scene at the club, clearly molesting a young oriental man, he was kicked out by the guards. They threw him carelessly to the street and he landed face down on the cold asphalt. For a long time, he just lay there, panting. He then reached his hand to his precious bottle, holding it tight. He let out a crazed chuckle.

Heh, it doesn't matter...

He coughed and rolled over on his back. He took a long sip of his drink; some of the booze leaking down his chin. He looked up at the dark heavens and chuckled darkly.

It's doesn't matter at all... Nothing matters...

Groaning at the effort, he forced his sore body to move, and pushed himself up to his feet. He clutched his bottle tightly, and began to walk down the dark street. His body swung from side to side as he walked, taking long sips of his drink.

I'm gonna have him no matter what.

Images of Heero flashed quickly in his mind. His erotic dreams, Tataki's photos, the near rape... Everything. It all flashed and played in a loop, getting faster and faster, making him dizzy. His feet tangled and he fell to the side, crashing face down inside a pile of garbage bags and trash cans. He didn't even notice that he fell, and just laughed manically.

He's gonna be mine no matter what... What does he think to himself? That he can be anyone's but mine?! J... Tataki... all of those bastards... letting them have their way with him... How dare they!? They can't have him! He's mine!

Duo's head jerked up, a dark shadow flashing through his eyes. He smirked, a sinister and ominous leer covering his features. His violet eyes narrowed dangerously as he sneered up at the heavens. His fist tightened around his bottle until it broke, making a loud cracking sound as sharp glass cut into his palm.

Shinigami didn't even blink at the pain. He just continued smirking, snarling at the world around him. He got up in one smooth motion, his braid bouncing up and down.

I'll make him mine. I must make him mine.

He began marching down the road, his gaze dark and his lips smirking.

Mine, Heero... This night, you'll be mine... mine... mine... Just mine.

Just mine, Heero... Justonenight... justone night... tonight...

Tonight... I'm going to make you mine.

I'm going to make you scream my name.

You'll scream my name Heero.

My Heero.

Mine!

* * *

He lay in the dark. It was cold and it was heavy and it was all around him. He was scared, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had woken up a few hours ago, before the moon rose, but he remained in his bed. He didn't dare to come out even when he heard Duo-chan scream and shout. He buried himself under the covers when he heard the door slam shut, and just lay there, crying.

He felt sorry for what he did. He was really sorry. He wanted to tell Duo-chan. He wanted to explain it to him. He wanted this whole mess to be over, and that life would be just like they used to. He missed his Light. He hated being in the Darkness. It was too scary and it hurt too much.

Tataki's hands touched him. They were on him and Inside him. They touched him and entered him, filling him with their Darkness and pain. He shivered and whimpered at the memory. But on top of all that, Tataki sold out his secret. Duo-chan knew that he didn't learn the letters all by himself. He didn't make Duo-chan proud, he made him angry. Duo-chan was angry with him because he had lied to him and went to Tataki. He had hurt Duo-chan's feelings by refusing the lessons Duo-chan offered him and going to Tataki.

He was such a bad person... It was no wonder that Duo-chan was so angry. He had to apologize! He had to say that he was sorry! Maybe if he showed Duo-chan what he had learned... what he had written... maybe he would forgive him... Maybe... He could only hope so.

The apartment was quiet and dark. Heero closed his eyes tight and buried himself deeper within the covers. He couldn't help but feel that the Hands were still there, lurking in the shadows. He could feel their presence and it frightened him to the core. He knew that the Darkness was not satisfied yet. It wouldn't be satisfied until it consumed him completely.

He hoped that Duo-chan wouldn't let it go through with it. He hoped that, even though he was angry, Duo-chan would protect him. He didn't want the Darkness to win. He didn't want to feel those hurting Hands again. He wanted to be back in the Light. He wanted to see it shine in their apartment. He wanted to see it sparkle in Duo-chan's lovely violet eyes. He didn't like the Darkness that crept into the violet orbs. He didn't like it at all. It was scary... Thinking about it made this great ominous feeling spread through his body, and he shivered.

He hoped that Duo-chan would be back soon. He didn't even have his Yoshi to protect him... He was all alone in the Dark. He curled into a fetal position and hugged his pillow tightly. His eyes were shut tight, tears clinging to his thick eyelashes.

* * *

It was hours later that Heero's eyes snapped open, as he heard the doorknob being turned. His heart lightened with relief and he hurried to toss the covers aside. He jumped out of bed and padded quickly out of his room and down the hall. He made it just in time to see the door open.

Duo-chan was back! He came back! Now he has a chance to try and make it up to him! He'll explain everything and then Duo-chan won't be mad anymore and everything will be all right! The Light will be back!

Heero smiled broadly, running to the door and reaching out to pull it fully open.

His smile faded the minute he laid his eyes on Duo.

The braided young man was currently staggering unsteadily through the doorway, leaning heavily on the doorframe for support. His hair was a tangled mess, his black clothing a bit torn and dirty. The young man reeked of filth and alcohol. His right hand was covered with clotted blood, a few deep cuts scarring the callous skin. His body was bent forward, his head was bowed, so that his face hidden from Heero's line of sight.

"D-Duo-chaaa. . ." Heero stammered, but he was unable to continue, because it was at that moment, that Duo lifted his head up and looked at him.

He could have sworn that it was not Duo-chan looking at him right now, but someone else. Something else. Something dark and sinister. It was at that moment that Heero knew that there was no Light left in Duo. Only Darkness. The same Darkness that was there when Duo had beat up Tataki. That same dark and sinister air floated around the young man, like thick mist. He had been completely consumed by the Darkness. And now, the Darkness was about to do the same to him.

Heero swallowed and took a step back. "D-D-Duo-cha..."

Dark violet eyes looked at him with unnerving stillness. A wicked smirk played on the young man's lips, sneering at Heero as he looked at the boy up and down. The sneer grew into a sly smile as the dark violet eyes looked upon the young Japanese man. Heero was wearing a sloppy white undershirt that was twice his size, and a pair of white gym shorts. The dark violet gaze did not miss the smooth planes of flesh revealed where the sleeves of the tank top slid down the frail shoulders, nor did they miss the inviting sight of the boy's white, virgin-like, thighs, illuminated by pale blue moonlight.

Duo chuckled darkly and took a step forward, advancing towards Heero like an animal stalking its prey.

Heero swallowed and staggered a few more steps back, his hands beginning to slightly tremble. His body was still numb and stiff from the effects of the sedative Sally gave him, and the movement of his legs was a little awkward. He nearly tripped on his own two feet as he tried to distance himself from Duo.

"Du-Duo-chan?"

Duo snorted, and, without warning, he raised both hands up and pushed Heero forcefully into the apartment.

"A-ah!" Heero called out in surprise as he fell down on his behind.

Duo just snorted again and kicked the door shut. His eyes were still on Heero, not leaving the sight of the confused Japanese boy. He eyed him with a predatory look, advancing towards the boy like a predator closing in on its prey. Duo's dark violet eyes were clouded with lust and menace. He was panting as if it was hard for him to control his own body. He came to stand in front of Heero, looking down at the boy with a mocking smirk on his face.

Heero, who was still sitting on the floor, looked up at Duo in fright. His blue eyes shimmered under the pale moonlight that washed the living room, and he trembled in fear. "Duo-chan, yamette... you're scaring me..."

"Heh..." Duo let out in a mocking tone, eyeing his prey. His smirk grew as his eyes focused on Heero's exposed chest, where his white undershirt had been pulled down a little. He chuckled darkly. ". . .Mine."

"Duo-chan... please..." Heero tried again, his voice faltering. ". . .I'm sorry. . ."

But it seemed like Duo didn't even hear his faltering voice. He just growled and yanked Heero off the floor. He threw him towards the couch and, with a growl, launched towards him.

Heero cried out in fright. "Iie! Yamette! Duo-chan!"

The sound of fabric being torn filled the dark apartment. Heero called out as his gym shorts were torn off of his body and thrown to the floor.

"IIYA!!!!" He cried, tears filling his eyes. "DU---"

He was cut off brutally as Duo's hands suddenly grabbed a handful of his hair, immobilizing his head. Then Duo leaned down to capture the boy's lips with his, but Heero hurried to turn his head away, avoiding the kiss.

". . .Your breath stinks. . ." The boy mumbled, his body shaking with silent sobs. "Please, Duo-chan... stop..."

"When I'm done..." Duo whispered huskily, leaning down towards Heero. "...I'll stop."

Heero whimpered in distress, but his cry was swallowed into Duo's mouth as the braided young man captured his lips in a forceful kiss. He bit and nibbled the boy's sugary lips, uncaring when the thinner boy tried to turn his head away. He merely tightened his grip on Heero's thick hair, and pulled him closer. With a savage growl, he continued ravishing the boy's mouth.

Heero's eyes widened in shock and his whole body tensed. He could feel Duo-chan's tongue try to sneak into his mouth. Panicked, he raised both his hands up try and push the braided man away from him. He whimpered in distress as he realized that Duo overpowered him. The braided man merely growled again and deepened the kiss, leaning closer to Heero, pressing his body against him.

Heero yelped into Duo's mouth as he felt the man's hard erection poke his inner thigh. Now completely panicked, he struggled to break free of Duo's hold. He kept his mouth shut tight so that the tongue won't enter him, and tried to turn his head aside. Duo growled again and broke off the kiss, looking angrily at Heero.

Heero coughed and sobbed at the same time, trying to catch his breath. He looked up at Duo with frightened and tearful blue eyes, the look in his eyes pleading Duo to stop.

But his plea never made it past the lust and alcohol that clouded Duo's mind. The braided young man was driven by lust, desperation and jealousy. He was unable to relieve his frustrations at the club, and he'll be damned if he won't get what his body wanted. He was deaf to Heero's pleas and blind to his tears. There was only one thing on his mind right now, and he was going to get it. No matter what. Tonight, Heero will be his. No matter what.

Duo dove in for another kiss, and Heero whimpered helplessly. After a long and torturing while, the violent kiss ended. Heero panted in fear and exertion, looking up at Duo with dread. The braided young man was also panting as he wiped his mouth with a swift and savage movement.

"I've always knew you'll taste this good..." Duo spoke hoarsely, leaning down to kiss Heero's slender neck. His tongue trailed up and down the smooth white skin, and his hands began to caress Heero's body. "I've wanted to do this for so long. . ." He breathed into the boy's neck, nibbling the yielding flesh. "Hee-chan..."

Heero whimpered as Duo's hands trailed lower, roaming over his upper body, tracing the curves of his thighs and then lower. He let out a silent cry, raising his hands up again, trying desperately to push Duo's hands away. But the braided man merely pushed his hands aside like they were nothing but an irritating bug. Tears of frustration filled Heero's midnight blue eyes, and he let out another desperate whimper.

". . .please. . . no Hands. . . please. . . no Hands. . . please. . ."

Again he made a feeble attempt to push the Hands away, but it only resulted with the Hands grabbing his wrists forcefully. With a growl, Duo detached himself from Heero's neck, leaving behind him a sea of little red marks. He now settled on top of Heero, sitting on the boy's knees, legs straddled at each side of the boy's body. Still holding the boy's slender wrists in his hands, he pinned his arms to the sofa, at each side of Heero's trembling body. He held the two fragile arms tightly, looking down at Heero with a smirk. He examined the sight before him, seemingly pleased with his work.

The Japanese boy was lying pinned underneath him, wearing only a white undershirt and bright red marks on his white neck. The white fabric that covered the boy's torso was pushed up so it revealed his smooth chest. The boy's bronze skin was washed over with blue moonlight, which created a game of pale light and shadows over his exposed flesh. The boy's bright blue eyes glistered with tears, shining under the dim blue light. His blood-red lips were bruised and swollen from his kisses, slightly parted as the boy breathed.

"Beautiful." Duo whispered hoarsely, voice strained with passion.

Heero whimpered and looked away. He tried to pull his hands out of Duo's grasp, but those Hands were holding him too tightly. He was unable to move away.

"Now hold still." Duo croaked, and then leaned forward. With a smirk, he opened his mouth, his tongue beginning to tease Heero's cock. The boy gasped loudly and his body tensed, nearly arching off the couch.

"Ah! D-D-Duo-chan! N-n-no! Iya da!" He called out, sobbing as the tongue continued to tease him further. "P-please... Duo-chan... I'm sorry I made you so mad..." Again he gasped loudly, shivers running through his body as Duo closed his mouth around his hardening member. "A-ah! Please! Duo-chan! I'm sorry!" He tried again, gasping and panting under Duo's assault.

But Duo couldn't hear him. He continued to suck Heero off as the boy moaned and whimpered at the same time. Heero's pleas went unheard as the boy trashed about on the small sofa, struggling to break free of Duo's hold on him. The braided boy merely tightened his hold on Heero's wrists and continued to suck. Heero's anguished cries filled the room, and tears poured like waterfalls down his pale cheeks.

At some point, he managed to break his hands free of Duo's tight hold and immediately the two trembling hands rose up, trying to push the assailant away. Heero placed two hands on Duo's shoulders, trying his best to push the man off of him. But the man wouldn't even budge. He just growled and raised his hands to grab Heero's hips. He held the boy in place and began bobbing his head up and down, taking Heero deeply into his mouth. With an anguished cry, Heero came in Duo's mouth.

Duo growled and jumped up. With a swift motion, he wiped Heero's cum off his chin and then launched towards the boy's mouth again. He kissed him ruthlessly while his hands roamed all over the boy's body.

Heero wept as Duo kissed him. He could taste himself in Duo's mouth and he began to cough and gag. Duo broke off the kiss and turned to lick Heero's neck, and then further down. Sobbing and crying hysterically, Heero began punching Duo's back, trying with all his might to make him stop.

"Duo-chan! Duo-chan! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please!" He cried with each punch, his voice choked up with tears. "Duo-chan! I'm sorry! Stop it! Stop it! Please! I'm sorry!!!!!"

His headache was at its worse now. He could hear nothing but a sharp ringing in his ears and he could feel nothing but the pounding of the Darkness against his skull. He was sure that he could hear it crack open.

He was barely aware of the fact that Duo had stopped kissing him. He didn't even feel it when the braided boy yanked one of his legs and pulled it up, resting it up on the back of the sofa. He barely even winced when Duo pushed his other leg off the couch, so it was now dangling down the sofa. His legs were forced to remain spread painfully wide, but he didn't notice. He couldn't. The pain in his head was far too great.

He gasped loudly when one of Duo's fingers violently entered him and then the Darkness finally pushed in, cracking his skull open. It began pouring in by gallons, leaking through the cracks and into his head.

Another finger was quickly added and the cracks in his skull were forced to open wider as more of the slime sipped in, drowning his mind in a thick pool of gore.

Another digit was forced into him roughly and then the fingers began rocking in and out of him. Heero screamed in both pain and terror, gasping loudly for air as his whole boy convulsed violently. His hands began spasming, fingers twitching as if reaching out for something. They grabbed onto Duo but the boy pushed him off with a feral growl, concentrating on the sight of his own fingers as they thrust in and out of Heero's passage. They were covered with both blood and semen, and Duo watched them, fascinated by the way they penetrated Heero's body over and over again.

Duo chuckled darkly and raised his head up to look at the boy's face.

"Ch! Heero, if you wanted to learn the alphabet so much, you should have come to me. I would have gladly agreed to your terms! Why, I have absolutely NO objections when it comes to doing your FUCKABLE ass!"

"AHHH!"

Heero shouted as his prostate was hit, and his body arched off the sofa. The Darkness took the chance to sip in through his wide-open mouth, denying the boy of catching his breath. He continued to pant and moan loudly, his body quaking with each thrust of Duo's fingers.

"Show me! Show me what you learned Heero! Show me what that bastard taught you! Show me!" Duo screamed out madly, his dark eyes narrowing in anger as he continued watching the boy.

Confused and tearful, Heero began to recite the alphabet, while Duo's fingers thrust in and out of him.

"A... AHH!!! B... C... D... AH! E... F... G..."

The Darkness filled him and flooded his inside, covering everything like a thick black swamp. The ringing in his ears grew louder and almost deafening. He could have sworn that he heard his ears pop. Somewhere in the distance they were voices, but he didn't understand what they were saying. He was taken deeper and deeper into the Darkness, swept away from any source of light.

"Show me more Heero! Show me what he made you do!"

"AHHHH! Ah-URGHHH!!!!! DUO-CHAN! AHH!!"

"SHOW ME!"

"Ahh.....H... I... ja--ja--jaa---AHHHH!!!!! J! It's J! AHHH!!!!! YAMERU! ONEGAI! URGH!"

Duo's movements only became rougher. Harder. Stronger. The pain was almost as bad as the pain of the Darkness flooding his mind.

"DUO-CHAN! PLEASE!"

Duo looked down at Heero with a mad look in his eyes. He looked down at Heero as he trashed about on the couch, squirming under his ministrations. He had some cum leaking down his chin and tears down his cheeks. His cheeks were flushed and his red lips parted in a silent cry. His undershirt, which was pulled up to his chest, revealed his sweat soaked body.

"H! I! I---- J! J! JAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!"

It was too much! The pain was too much! The Darkness too strong! He couldn't breathe!

"J! K! L! M! N! O! P! AHHH!!!!!!!"

It drowned him deeper and deeper... he felt like he was being dragged and pulled deeper into the Blackness... It hurt so badly...

"Q! R! S! T! U! V! W. . . W--AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Why won't the pain stop..? Duo-chan... why won't he help..? Why was he so mad..? The Darkness...... it was hurting him..... Killing him...... and the Hands....... they just wouldn't let go...... It hurt....... it hurt so much...... why won't it stop..?

"I CAN KNOW MORE! PLEASE, DUO-CHAN, I CAN KNOW MORE!"

Duo growled and smirked, lifting up a hand to run it over Heero's exposed torso.

"I CAN KNOW MORE! I CAN SAY J! I can say it now... I can say... please... ahhh... please... J... stop... Duo-chan... I said... J... pl...ea...se… s...t...o...p... Ja-ja-jay. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

It was too much. The Darkness was too much. His head exploded, short circuiting and then blacking out. He didn't even have the time to scream, as everything suddenly faded away, and he was swallowed whole. He was gone, vanishing deep into the Darkness. And he didn't even care. It was better this way.

Duo didn't even notice it when Heero's body suddenly became still, and the boy's head tilted sideways in unconsciousness. He continued his assault on the limp body, uncaring that it no longer responded. He was too caught up in what he was doing, his mind working in a speed of 240 mph, his thoughts going round and round, assaulting his mind with feelings and images. In his craze, he failed to notice anything but his desire and pain.

That smile… Those lips... so sweet... so red... like blood…I want to taste it...drink it... like wine...Your eyes... the deepest blue...I can drown in them... sink in their depths... sink into you... inside you... and out... and then again...and again... I want to love you...I want to touch you... to touch your hot, silky, burning, smooth, sweet skin... taste it...feel it... I need to feel you... I want to feel you... I want... I want tomake you smile...make you mine... make you scream my name... So warm...like fire... burning me... I want to be burned…to be burned... to be burned by you... in you... No... But I want to...I need to...I need to see you smile at me… call to me... say my name... please..?Just once... just a whisper...but just once... be mine... MINE... ONLY MINE! Smile at me... Burn me...Feel me...Touch me! Shake me!Kill me! Hold me!Hate me!Break me!Love me!Take me!Hurt me---

"LOVE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEERO! CALL MY NAME! CALL MY NAME! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! SAY YOU LOVE ME! PLEASE!"

...................................................

"Please, Heero........... please....... just this once............ Heero............ please.............."

...............................................

There was only silence to answer his plea.

His movements slowed down.

The silence stretched on and on for an eternity. Nothing moved and the air was still.

Frozen.

Violet eyes suddenly widened and a loud gasp was heard.

Duo's hands froze, unmoving.

His face paled, his eyes wide and glazed over with shock.

Beneath him, Heero lay naked, his body limp in unconsciousness.

Duo's hands began to tremble, as he looked down, his eyes unbelieving.

An eternity of silence passed by, long and forbidding.

A heartbeat.

And then another.

And another.

Time stood still.

Nothing moved.

.

. .

. . .

. . . .

. . . . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As the scream tore out of Duo's lips, his hands jerked away from Heero's lifeless body.

A moment later, he was out the door. All that was left, was Darkness.

Sweet, blessed and silent Darkness. Not even the Hands would venture that deeply into the Darkness, and so Heero remained there. Finally safe. Alone, but safe. Nothing could hurt him there. Nothing. He could stay there forever... drowning in silence. In Darkness. There was nothing else for him anyway. Just Darkness. It was all that was left for him now. It was all he had left.

* * *

The door to Sally and Chang's house burst open without warning. The husband and wife jumped out of their seats on the couch, startled. They whirled around to face the front door, and gasped. There, stood Duo Maxwell, looking like a frightened animal. His hair was loose and messy, his shirt unbuttoned and a bit torn. He was panting, tears staining his cheeks. His violet eyes were wide open in horror, looking like giant saucers. The pale young man looked like he's just seen a ghost as he continued standing at the doorway, panting hard.

"Duo!" Sally was the first to recover as she rushed towards the shaken young man. "Duo! What happened?!"

"I nearly raped Heero!" The young man cried out, hysteric. "I raped him! I raped him!" He shouted, his voice hoarse, as he took a few shaky steps forward, his arms flying up as if searching for something to hold onto.

"YOU WHAT?!" Wufei burst, jumping off the couch as well.

Sally saw that Duo was too shocked to answer, so she wasted no more time on small talk. She quickly approached the young man and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him.

"Where is he, Duo?" She asked, her voice panicked.

Duo just gaped at her, his face frozen in shock.

She shook him harder.

"WHERE IS HE, DUO?! WHERE IS HE?!?!?!?!?"

"I..." Duo let out, still staring at her numbly. "He--he's at... at home... I. . . I didn't know what else to do... I... I had to get out of there... I had to..." The young man mumbled, his whole body trembling. He looked up at Sally with tearful eyes, his features begging for understanding. "I... I'm so sorry Sal..."

The Chinese woman snorted and pushed Duo away. The minute she let go of him he collapsed down to the floor, sobbing brokenly.

"I'm so sorry..." Duo cried, burying his face in his hands as he sat there on his knees, crying pathetically.

Sally's gaze was cold and condemning as she looked down at him. "Saying sorry won't help you this time, Duo." She spat and hurried to the door. She looked up at her husband, who was still standing by the sofa, completely stunned. "Take care of him, Chang." She spoke sternly and then rushed out the door, slamming it behind her.

As the door slammed shut, Duo's sobbing increased and he continued murmuring into the palms of his hands. ". . . I'm so sorry. . . Hee-chan... God, I'm sorry. . . "

* * *

Sally burst into Duo's apartment, panting wildly from her run. She looked around, her gaze frantic. The apartment was dark but the moonlight was enough to let her see. Her eyes widened as she spotted a small pile of clothes lying discarded by the sofa. She ran into the living room; her eyes wide like a wild animal.

She gasped as she reached the couch, her face paling and her heart missing a beat.

Heero was lying sprawled on the sofa, his body naked except for a torn white undershirt that clung to his pale skin. His body was limp, as if unconscious, but his eyes were wide open. Dull and fearful cobalt eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. Heero's whole body was trembling with fear and cold, his bottom lip, bruised and bleeding, trembling as well.

A painful stab ran into her heart as she noticed the boy's empty expression. The boy's features were completely pale and numb from fear. Traces of tears shone on his cheeks, glistering in the pale blue moonlight. His cobalt eyes were tearful, but the tears had ceased to pour out. Heero was just lying there, trembling, his numb eyes looking up at nothing and he is completely unresponsive. Even without medical training, it wasn't hard to tell that the boy was in a deep state of shock. He didn't even look up at her.

Tears flooded her eyes and she raised a hand up to cover her mouth. A choked whimper escaped her lips as the tear began to leak down her cheeks. Slowly, her numb knees began to give way and she went down to her knees, kneeling in front of the sofa. She looked down at Heero's limp body, her own body beginning to shake with sobs as she ran her eyes over him once more. She could see a few red marks decorating the fair skin, and more tears flooded her eyes. Crying silently, she turned to look at the boy's face, her own expression full of anguish and remorse.

"Heero..." She whispered, her voice barely making it out of her lips. "Hee-chan..." She reached a trembling hand up, and slowly, carefully, caressed the boy's damp cheek. Her fingers brushed against something wet and thick and she turned her stunned gaze to look at it.

Blood.

Heero's head was bleeding. Red trails of blood leaked down the side of his head, into his ears and further down. Sally's eyes widened and she hurried to reach two hands towards Heero's head. She pushed a handful of thick brown hairs aside, her movements frantic as she searched for the source of the bleeding. Her fingers brushed past the boy's temples, making their way between thick locks of hair, until they found the sources of the wetness, one at each side of Heero's head.

She gasped as she realized why he was bleeding. Still unsure of her findings, she reached her hands lower, to the back of Heero's head, searching. Again she found two bleeding spots, at the back of the boy's head. She quickly withdrew her hands, her eyes wide with shock. She shivered and a small whimper tore out of her lips. She couldn't resist any longer, and her back began to shake with sobs. She threw herself down at Heero, gathering the boy into her arms.

"I'm so sorry, Heero... God... I'm so sorry..." She cried into his chest, her arms holding him tightly. She carefully slid him off the couch and guided the stunned boy into her embrace, cradling him like a mother would cradle her child. She rocked him gently in her arms, crying into his sweet brown hair. Her tears slid down her face and fell down on the shiny chocolate strings. They slid down the soft hairs, shining in the moonlight. She held him tightly, brining the traumatized boy closer to her chest, and sobbed brokenly into his chest.

"It's gonna be okay, Heero..." She whispered soothingly, holding him tightly, wanting to give him all of her warmth and comfort. The Japanese boy was still shivering from cold, but other than that, he showed no response.

"It's just a bad dream... it's gonna be okay... you'll see..." She turned to kiss his tear-soaked hair, inhaling its sweet scent as she sniffled. Her trembling hand rose up and she caressed the boy's pale face. She leaned her cheek on the top of the boy's head, stroking his hair as she whispered in his ear. "Just a bad dream, Heero... just a bad dream... When you'll wake up, it's going to be fine, you'll see. Duo will be back and we can all have a barbecue... I'll even force Chang to make you some of those veggie burgers... and you can help me make the salads, and play with Mei-chan... It's all going to be just fine... you'll see..." She promised, burying her face in his hair as her sobbing grew stronger. Her arms were now rocking him frantically and her voice broke as she spoke to him. "This is just a bad dream... ne, Heero? Just a bad dream..."

The boy did not respond. He continued to lie motionlessly in her arms, his numb blue eyes staring blankly into nothingness. The trembling had ceased and his body was now limp and lifeless. He continued to stare unblinkingly up ahead, completely unresponsive.

* * *

"I've done some talking. They're not gonna charge you for assault." Chang spoke, his voice harsh. "If everything will go well, I will be able to bail you out by tomorrow night."

Silence followed, filling the dark investigation room.

Across of Wufei, sitting slumped by a small wooden table, Duo slowly nodded his head. His head was bowed and he wasn't looking up at the man who stood across of him.

Wufei sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sally is with Heero right now, in the ER. They're checking him over." He continued, looking at Duo with worried black eyes.

The young braided man did not respond, and just kept gazing down at the floor.

"The surgery scars on his head began bleeding."

At that, Duo looked up, his eyes wide and frightful. He swallowed and then spoke quietly, his voice cracked. "I-is he... okay?"

Again Wufei sighed and shook his head sorrowfully. "Sally says that they began bleeding because of the stress and trauma Heero was going through. She doesn't know what damage has occurred, but it doesn't look good."

Duo bowed his head again, closing his eyes sadly. He closed his hands into tight fists. "Will he be all right?"

Slowly, Wufei sat down on the chair in front of Duo, and leaned forward, his gaze serious. "They're taking him away, Duo."

Duo's head jerked up. "WHAT?! THEY-- THEY CAN'T DO THAT!"

Wufei sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. "Duo, unfortunately, they can. They feel that it is best for Heero."

"BULLSHIT!" Duo roared, throwing his chair back as he got up. "He needs me! They... they don't know him... they don't know what's good for him! He needs me!"

A pair of angry black eyes shot up and looked at Duo harshly. "DO YOU REALLY THINK SO, MAXWELL?! After tonight, do you honestly believe so?!"

"I--" Duo let out, having nothing to say, really. "I mean, I. . . I. . . he. . ." Duo sighed heavily and bowed his head. There wasn't anything he could say. Even asking for forgiveness was like asking for too much. He didn't deserve forgiveness.

He looked down at Wufei, his face anguished. After a while of mutual glaring, Duo slumped back into his chair, having nothing more to say. Whimpering, he bowed his head and buried it in his hands.

Wufei took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He turned back to Duo, his face compassionate. "The judge's decision is final. He feels that you are not capable to see Heero's needs. He thinks a special care institute is in need."

"He doesn't belong there, Wufei, and you know it." Duo muttered into his palms, still unable to look up at his friend.

"Duo, I know how you feel about this, and I understand. But from their perspective, Heero's behavior classifies him as a person with special needs."

Duo snorted and looked back up. "That's BULL!" He called, punching the table.

Wufei didn't even flinch and just returned Duo's gaze calmly. "They also suggest that you will see a therapist."

"Me?! What the hell for!?" Duo spat, jumping out of his seat again. He began walking the room like a caged animal. "They're just making excuses so they can take him away! Heero needs me! I have to be with him! He doesn't belong in no nut house!"

"Duo, Sally and I agree with them." Wufei continued calmly, following Duo with his gaze. "You need help."

Duo stopped in his tracks, shocked. His whole body became rigid, and he remained with his back facing Wufei. His voice was cold and crestfallen as he spoke: "You're serious, aren't you?"

Wufei sighed, casting his gaze down. "Duo, you nearly raped him."

"I----" Duo choked out, balling his hands into fists, but again there wasn't anything that he could say. He sighed and bowed his head down, closing his eyes in shame. "I. . . I'm sorry. . ."

"Well, it's a bit too late for that." Wufei spat in disgust.

Duo winced, but said nothing. He deserved anything they were about to throw at him.

Wufei sighed heavily and got up. He walked to Duo and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "He needs treatment, Duo." He spoke softly, watching Duo with pained onyx eyes. "Treatment that he cannot get at home."

"Will he be ok?" Duo whispered brokenly, a few tears escaping his closed eyes.

Sighing, Wufei looked up at him with a firm gaze. "In time, and with the right treatment, it is likely that he will be fine. But he needs time. And so do you."

Duo sighed and pulled away from Wufei's touch.

"So I should just let him go, you say." Duo let out, looking down at the floor with tearful eyes.

Bowing his head in shame, Wufei nodded ever so slightly. "For now, it is the best thing to do."

Duo didn't answer, and just closed his eyes. He remained standing in the middle of the room for a long while, unmoving. Tears leaked down his cheeks, but he didn't reach to wipe them away. After a long while, he took a deep breath and turned to face his friend. He looked at him with tearful violet eyes, and smiled sadly.

"May I at least say goodbye?"

"I'll see what I can do about it."

* * *

Duo stood there, guarded by Wufei and a security guard, as he watched two doctors and a nurse lead Heero into a large white van. Heero's steps were slow and careful, and the nurse had to nudge him forward so he will keep walking. Duo watched the scene with pained amethyst eyes, his cuffed hands trembling. Heero seemed completely detached from his surroundings. He was like a puppet being moved around by those doctors. He didn't look up from the floor as they led him out of the hospital and to the van. Usually, when Duo and Heero went to visit Sally in the hospital, Heero couldn't get enough of looking around with curious blue eyes. He was always excited by large and busy places such as hospitals and the Preventer Headquarters. Now it seemed that he wasn't even aware of where he was. He looked like a lifeless zombie, and not like the lively boy Duo was used to be seeing.

Behind him, Wufei cleared his throat and nudged Duo forward. Taking the hint, Duo sighed and began walking towards the van. The guard kept a close tag on him.

He reached the van just when the nurse had finished guiding Heero into his seat. She took the seat next to him and put his seatbelt on. Duo approached the van slowly, his heartbeat racing. He took a deep breath and raised his cuffed hands in order to push a few bangs out of his eyes.

He could see the guard tense at the movement, but he ignored it. He could also feel Wufei's gaze on him, watching him like a hawk, but he paid him no mind. All that mattered now was Heero. Gathering all the strength that he could muster, Duo raised his head up to look at Heero.

They boy was sitting with his hands on his lap, staring numbly up ahead. It didn't look like he was actually seeing anything, he was just... staring. He had a white bandage wrapped around his head, four small red marks staining the white fabric. But he didn't seem to be in pain or anything. It looked like he wasn't feeling anything at all.

Heero was now acting completely autistic, and it pained Duo to see him like this. He felt nothing but hate, anger and self-loathing as he looked upon the Japanese boy. All those feelings were directed towards himself. It was because of him that Heero was like this. Because of him!

The rapist.

He had hurt Heero. He caused this condition! He did! He had hurt the one he loved most! He hurt Heero! He hurt Heero! He hurt Heero!!!

"You better hurry up." The nurse spoke up, jerking Duo out of his trance-like string of thought.

Sighing, he looked at Heero again. Despite his restrained hands making it a little difficult, Duo managed to climb into the van, so he was closer to Heero. The guard next to him took a step forward, looking ready to pounce on him like a predator.

"I'm not gonna hurt him." Duo whispered bitterly, looking over his shoulder. The guard didn't seem to be eased by that promised. Duo sighed and turned back to Heero. "I just want to hug him goodbye." He explained, reaching his cuffed hands up so he could caress Heero's cheek.

The boy did not respond, and just continued staring forward, acting as if Duo wasn't even there.

"Is that okay with you, Heero?" Duo asked softly, his voice shaking from tears. "Just a hug for goodbye." He assured him, his fingers petting the boy's soft cheek. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Hee-chan... okay?"

Heero did not respond.

"Hee-chan? You know that I'm sorry, right? You know I didn't mean it... right?" Duo asked desperately, stroking Heero's soft brown hair.

The nurse sighed in irritation. "He's not going to answer you."

"I know." Duo choked out, tears sliding down his cheeks. He sniffled and then smiled sadly at Heero. He leaned down and gently kissed his forehead. "I love you, Hee-chan."

The Japanese boy didn't even blink.

The guard grabbed Duo by his shoulder and pulled him forcefully away from Heero. "I think he's had just about enough of that!" The large man growled and pulled Duo out of the van.

"No! No! Wait! I didn't mean it like that!" Duo called out desperately, trying to pry the guard's hand off of him. "I just want to say goodbye!" He cried out, still struggling to break free as one of the doctors came to close the van's door. "Let me hug him! Let me hug him goodbye!!!!"

The door slid shut with a loud sound, and all Duo could see was Heero's head from behind the van's small window.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEERO!" He called out, somehow managing to break free of the guard's rough hold.

The van began to pull out of the driveway.

"HEERO! HEERO!" Duo cried out, running after the van as it slowly began to move out.

The boy didn't look back, didn't turn his head, even as Duo caught up with the van and began punching the window.

"HEE-CHAN! HEE-CHAN - PLEASE!" Duo shouted and cried, tears marring his haggard features. "HEE-CHAN, I'M SORRY!!!!"

The guard caught up with him and tackled him to the floor. Duo remained lying on the road, the guard on top of him as he watched the van speed out of the driveway.

"I'M SORRY, HEE-CHAN! I'M SORRY!!!" He cried brokenly, kicking and punching the asphalt road.

The guard didn't let go of him and the van sped away, disappearing behind a sharp curved. Duo sobbed loudly and struggled to break free. He gave up on that eventually and just punched the asphalt road, banging his head against the hard surface.

"I'M SOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Part 8

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