Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Kindergarten Heero ❯ Chapter 4
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Calic0cat 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 10.23.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 705 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 10.23.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 705 | Status: Completed
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Title: Kindergarten Heero
Chapter: 4/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: June 8, 2003
Genre: Shonen Ai/Yaoi, Drama, Romance, Fusion
Pairing: 1x2
Rated: R(?)
Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing, Death (*not* one of the guys)
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com/ (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: This is a fusion with the movie "Kindergarten Cop". Blame that pic of Heero with a ferret and the fact that the "Kindergarten Cop" DVD was on a sale rack and caught my attention. Feedback is appreciated.
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In the classroom, the pressure built until Heero couldn't take it anymore. The noise, the mess, the sheer *chaos*, was too much for him. He took a deep breath and bellowed at the top of his lungs, "*SHUT UP!*"
Silence. Faces turned to stare at him in shock.
Silence reigned for a heartbeat. Two. Sheer blissful silence.
Then the sniffles began. Lips quivered and eyes watered.
"*No!*" Heero ordered frantically. "Don't start!"
The orders didn't help. The sniffles grew louder and turned to sobs.
"Oh no," he breathed in horror. Crying kids. He'd made an entire classroom full of kids cry. Principal Une would kick him out for sure. He *couldn't* let that happen! He had to find Khushrenada's kid first! He couldn't fail so badly at this, he *never* failed! *NEVER!*
By the time he bolted for the door, the sobs were turning to wails. Heero raced out of the room and down the hall to the teachers' lounge. He was suddenly very grateful that his partner had flatly refused to have "that rat" loose in the house with her all day. Retrieving the gym bag-like pet carrier from where he'd hidden it behind the couch, Heero unzipped the mesh door. Zero chittered in irritation as Heero lifted him out, waking him from a nap. Heero tucked the ferret inside his suit jacket and slung the carrier strap over his shoulder as he hurried back to his classroom.
He was surprised by how quiet the classroom was when he got back. It was still an absolute disaster area but the children were playing in a quiet, subdued manner rather than wailing or destroying the place. He noticed that the boy who'd had to go to the bathroom was back again and wondered whether the nice teacher who'd helped had anything to do with the relative calm in his room. "Class!" he said sharply. "Pay attention!" Toys dropped guiltily around the room as everyone spun to face him. He winced internally at the anxiety and even fear on some of the small faces. "This is your new class mascot," he said, holding Zero out. The ferret hung trustingly in his grasp.
"What happened to your dog?" a boy demanded.
Heero smothered a snicker. Poor Zero. First his partner called him a rat, now his student was calling him a dog. "He's not a dog, he's a ferret," he corrected firmly.
"What's a ferret?" another voice piped up.
Considering and discarding several possible answers, including listing the proper Latin name and other related species, Heero settled for simply saying, "*This* is a ferret." He was pretty sure that any other response would only result in a bunch of other questions anyway.
There was a chorus of "Ohhs" from the class as they gathered curiously around. Heero knelt on the floor and held Zero carefully in front of him. He hoped that all of this attention and excitement wouldn't upset the ferret too badly; he wasn't used to so much commotion or being around so many strangers.
"If he bites you, you'll get rabies and die," an auburn-haired girl said matter-of-factly. Heero recognized her voice as the one that had so calmly remarked earlier that day that everyone died.
"No, that's not true," he said firmly. "He doesn't bite. And he doesn't have rabies."
Suddenly, there was a chorus of "Can I touch him" coming from all around. Heero smothered a smirk. "Yes, but gently," he warned. Zero chirred contentedly as he was suddenly being stroked by many small hands. Heero sighed in relief. One crisis averted. At least temporarily. "Now we're having fun," he said a bit unsteadily. Now all he needed to do was figure out what the hell to do with the kids for the rest of the day. And clean up the huge mess. He looked around the room and cringed at the thought. He could hardly wait for the day to be over...
***
The bell rang and the kids charged out of the room. Heero looked around and sighed wearily. There was still an awful lot to be cleaned up before he could leave. He sank down on the end of a table and tried to get his thoughts organized. A small pair of sneakers suddenly appeared in his sight. He raised his gaze to see the little auburn-haired girl - Helen - shaking her head at him sadly. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked reluctantly.
"Ms. Bloom is a *lot* better than you," she informed him.
Somehow, Heero wasn't surprised to hear that. She wouldn't have lasted ten years as a kindergarten teacher if she wasn't. Hell, she wouldn't have lasted ten *days*. "Is she. Is she really," he said flatly. He forced himself to his feet and started to tidy up the disaster area that was his classroom.
Helen followed him across the room. "My uncle's a teacher in this school and he's a lot better than you too," she told him.
"Great," Heero muttered under his breath. He picked up a couple of tipped-over chairs and set them back where they belonged. Before he could reach for the third, Helen had already picked it up and pushed it up to its place at the table.
"And Sensei Chang, my karate instructor, he's better than you too."
"*Terrific*," Heero said sarcastically. He knew he sucked at being a kindergarten teacher. He really didn't need all this corroborating evidence thrown in his face.
"And my doctor, Ms. Po, and Howie, my T-ball coach, they're better than you too."
"Is there anyone you know that *isn't* better than me?" Heero demanded in frustration.
Helen shrugged apologetically, "I don't know that many people."
***
Heero staggered into the house, setting Zero carefully on the closet floor and shutting the door before collapsing on the bed face-first.
"Heero? How'd it go?" Hilde demanded, stumbling down the hall. She still felt lousy but not nearly as bad as she had earlier.
The only response she received was a weary groan followed by "Go. Away."
"That good, huh?"
"You take over tomorrow," Heero mumbled grumpily.
"Can't," Hilde informed him cheerfully as she made her way into the room to perch on the edge of the bed. "It'd blow our cover. You're stuck with it."
Heero groaned in dismay. She was right. Unfortunately. "They're *horrible*," he complained.
Hilde snorted, "Tell me about it."
***
After a rousing pep talk from Hilde, Heero still didn't want to go to school the next morning. "Come on, just think of all the single women that'll be dropping by to see the new teacher," Hilde urged.
Heero groaned at the thought, now even *less* motivated to walk out the door.
"Single guys?" Hilde suggested, noting his distinct lack of interest in her first suggestion. She fought off a grin as he perked up noticeably.
'Maybe I'll actually get to meet that gorgeous teacher properly today,' he thought hopefully. It wasn't what he was there for but... Well, considering how rarely he actually came across someone he was *interested* in, he couldn't quite bring himself to completely pass up the opportunity to find out whether the interest would last past the "getting to know him" stage.
***
Heero entered the school, trying not to either smirk or cringe at the comments he'd overheard as he passed clusters of mothers on his way in. 'The best one of the bunch had to be "You're married, you're allowed to look like slobs",' he thought in amusement. Though the one that had decided that he must be gay since he was a kindergarten teacher was pretty amusing too. The irony of the fact that the woman was actually correct about his sexual orientation but that he was really an undercover police officer was distinctly entertaining.
He really wasn't looking forward to pretending at least a cursory interest in any single mothers that might turn up to meet him. Heero would much rather be spending his time getting to know the teacher with the room across the hall from his. He couldn't remember ever having this much trouble convincing himself to do whatever it took to fulfill his assignment.
The blonde that approached him as soon as he entered his classroom, eyelashes fluttering and a simpering smile on her face, made him even more unhappy about this part of the undercover mission. "Hello, I'm Relena Darlian, Samantha's mother," she said in a cloying voice.
"Heero Yuy, the new kindergarten teacher," he responded automatically, holding out his hand to shake hers. He regretted it immediately as she clung to his fingers longer than necessary. With an effort, Heero managed not to gingerly wipe his hand off on his pants when she finally did release it.
"Could we talk for a minute?" she asked.
Biting his tongue to prevent the negative answer hovering there from escaping, Heero merely nodded and turned towards his desk. He seated himself behind it, grateful to place its solid bulk between him and the woman, while Relena removed her patent leather coat, revealing a clingy blouse with an inappropriately low neckline. "You're not from around here, are you?" she purred as she seated herself gracefully and leaned forward conspiratorially.
"No, I'm not," he answered briefly. He didn't bother giving her his cover identity's details. He wanted to keep this conversation as brief as possible.
"I thought not. You're much too classy for this little hick town. I'm not from around here either," she murmured, batting her eyelashes at him.
Heero suppressed the urge to escape. If she wasn't from around here, she might be the woman he was looking for. He couldn't turn tail and run, no matter how much he might want to. He made a slight sound of acknowledgement of her statement and hoped that the woman would hurry up and spit out whatever it was that she wanted.
"I wanted to ask you something," Relena said.
"Ah?"
"You see, Samantha's father - doesn't live with us anymore. Lately I've been a little worried about Samantha. She's been doing some odd things."
'K'so. If the father isn't living with them - that makes her a possibility. Which means I have to put up with her. Shimatta.' "Like what?" Heero inquired, trying to make himself sound a little less as if he was being tortured by this conversation.
"She's been refusing to wear skirts," she said bluntly. "She insists on dressing like a little boy. I'm a little worried that she thinks her father might still be here if she'd been a boy instead..."
Despite himself, Heero snickered. He didn't blame Samantha in the least. Especially if her mother wanted her to wear clothing as - pink - as she had on. He had a sneaking suspicion that he knew who that horrid neon pink convertible out front belonged to. "Ah. Well, one of the little boys in the class likes to look up girls' skirts," he told her bluntly. "Caught him doing it yesterday. Samantha probably just doesn't want him doing that to her."
Relena's eyes widened and her jaw dropped for a moment. She stuttered, then managed to say, "Oh. Well, that's a relief."
"Does Samantha ever see her father?" Heero inquired.
"No," she replied abruptly. "He lives in California."
Heero's interest sharpened at the same time as a small part of him wailed in dismay that the job might be over with this quickly. He hadn't even had a chance to find out the other teacher's name yet, let alone ask him out on a date! "Oh?" he managed to say. "Perhaps you could give me his name and number and I could talk to him for you. Persuade him to show a little more interest in his daughter."
Relena's voice turned cold and hard. "No."
"No? It must be hard on Samantha, never seeing her father..."
Jumping to her feet, the woman said icily, "No. It's hard on Samantha knowing that her father left us for another man."
Heero winced. 'Shimatta. That just makes her an even better possibility. Merquise hooked up with Khushrenada and changed his name to Peacecraft right around the same time that Leia took off with the kid and the money...' He wasn't quite sure how to respond to Relena's flat statement. Thankfully, he was saved from having to do so.
"Mr. Yuy, are you married?" one of the girls in his class demanded loudly.
"No, I'm not," he admitted. He'd half-planned to change his cover anyway and after seeing that very handsome teacher yesterday, he'd decided that there was no way he was going to pretend to be married.
The girl ran to the hall door and shouted, "He's not married, Mom!"
With an effort, Heero managed not to cringe.
"Welcome to Astoria, single parent capital of the world," Relena murmured in a sultry tone, her previous irritation banished. She batted her eyes at Heero and he managed to force a weak smile.
One word crossed his mind. 'Shimatta.'
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Title: Kindergarten Heero
Chapter: 4/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: June 8, 2003
Genre: Shonen Ai/Yaoi, Drama, Romance, Fusion
Pairing: 1x2
Rated: R(?)
Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing, Death (*not* one of the guys)
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com/ (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: This is a fusion with the movie "Kindergarten Cop". Blame that pic of Heero with a ferret and the fact that the "Kindergarten Cop" DVD was on a sale rack and caught my attention. Feedback is appreciated.
#################################################
In the classroom, the pressure built until Heero couldn't take it anymore. The noise, the mess, the sheer *chaos*, was too much for him. He took a deep breath and bellowed at the top of his lungs, "*SHUT UP!*"
Silence. Faces turned to stare at him in shock.
Silence reigned for a heartbeat. Two. Sheer blissful silence.
Then the sniffles began. Lips quivered and eyes watered.
"*No!*" Heero ordered frantically. "Don't start!"
The orders didn't help. The sniffles grew louder and turned to sobs.
"Oh no," he breathed in horror. Crying kids. He'd made an entire classroom full of kids cry. Principal Une would kick him out for sure. He *couldn't* let that happen! He had to find Khushrenada's kid first! He couldn't fail so badly at this, he *never* failed! *NEVER!*
By the time he bolted for the door, the sobs were turning to wails. Heero raced out of the room and down the hall to the teachers' lounge. He was suddenly very grateful that his partner had flatly refused to have "that rat" loose in the house with her all day. Retrieving the gym bag-like pet carrier from where he'd hidden it behind the couch, Heero unzipped the mesh door. Zero chittered in irritation as Heero lifted him out, waking him from a nap. Heero tucked the ferret inside his suit jacket and slung the carrier strap over his shoulder as he hurried back to his classroom.
He was surprised by how quiet the classroom was when he got back. It was still an absolute disaster area but the children were playing in a quiet, subdued manner rather than wailing or destroying the place. He noticed that the boy who'd had to go to the bathroom was back again and wondered whether the nice teacher who'd helped had anything to do with the relative calm in his room. "Class!" he said sharply. "Pay attention!" Toys dropped guiltily around the room as everyone spun to face him. He winced internally at the anxiety and even fear on some of the small faces. "This is your new class mascot," he said, holding Zero out. The ferret hung trustingly in his grasp.
"What happened to your dog?" a boy demanded.
Heero smothered a snicker. Poor Zero. First his partner called him a rat, now his student was calling him a dog. "He's not a dog, he's a ferret," he corrected firmly.
"What's a ferret?" another voice piped up.
Considering and discarding several possible answers, including listing the proper Latin name and other related species, Heero settled for simply saying, "*This* is a ferret." He was pretty sure that any other response would only result in a bunch of other questions anyway.
There was a chorus of "Ohhs" from the class as they gathered curiously around. Heero knelt on the floor and held Zero carefully in front of him. He hoped that all of this attention and excitement wouldn't upset the ferret too badly; he wasn't used to so much commotion or being around so many strangers.
"If he bites you, you'll get rabies and die," an auburn-haired girl said matter-of-factly. Heero recognized her voice as the one that had so calmly remarked earlier that day that everyone died.
"No, that's not true," he said firmly. "He doesn't bite. And he doesn't have rabies."
Suddenly, there was a chorus of "Can I touch him" coming from all around. Heero smothered a smirk. "Yes, but gently," he warned. Zero chirred contentedly as he was suddenly being stroked by many small hands. Heero sighed in relief. One crisis averted. At least temporarily. "Now we're having fun," he said a bit unsteadily. Now all he needed to do was figure out what the hell to do with the kids for the rest of the day. And clean up the huge mess. He looked around the room and cringed at the thought. He could hardly wait for the day to be over...
***
The bell rang and the kids charged out of the room. Heero looked around and sighed wearily. There was still an awful lot to be cleaned up before he could leave. He sank down on the end of a table and tried to get his thoughts organized. A small pair of sneakers suddenly appeared in his sight. He raised his gaze to see the little auburn-haired girl - Helen - shaking her head at him sadly. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked reluctantly.
"Ms. Bloom is a *lot* better than you," she informed him.
Somehow, Heero wasn't surprised to hear that. She wouldn't have lasted ten years as a kindergarten teacher if she wasn't. Hell, she wouldn't have lasted ten *days*. "Is she. Is she really," he said flatly. He forced himself to his feet and started to tidy up the disaster area that was his classroom.
Helen followed him across the room. "My uncle's a teacher in this school and he's a lot better than you too," she told him.
"Great," Heero muttered under his breath. He picked up a couple of tipped-over chairs and set them back where they belonged. Before he could reach for the third, Helen had already picked it up and pushed it up to its place at the table.
"And Sensei Chang, my karate instructor, he's better than you too."
"*Terrific*," Heero said sarcastically. He knew he sucked at being a kindergarten teacher. He really didn't need all this corroborating evidence thrown in his face.
"And my doctor, Ms. Po, and Howie, my T-ball coach, they're better than you too."
"Is there anyone you know that *isn't* better than me?" Heero demanded in frustration.
Helen shrugged apologetically, "I don't know that many people."
***
Heero staggered into the house, setting Zero carefully on the closet floor and shutting the door before collapsing on the bed face-first.
"Heero? How'd it go?" Hilde demanded, stumbling down the hall. She still felt lousy but not nearly as bad as she had earlier.
The only response she received was a weary groan followed by "Go. Away."
"That good, huh?"
"You take over tomorrow," Heero mumbled grumpily.
"Can't," Hilde informed him cheerfully as she made her way into the room to perch on the edge of the bed. "It'd blow our cover. You're stuck with it."
Heero groaned in dismay. She was right. Unfortunately. "They're *horrible*," he complained.
Hilde snorted, "Tell me about it."
***
After a rousing pep talk from Hilde, Heero still didn't want to go to school the next morning. "Come on, just think of all the single women that'll be dropping by to see the new teacher," Hilde urged.
Heero groaned at the thought, now even *less* motivated to walk out the door.
"Single guys?" Hilde suggested, noting his distinct lack of interest in her first suggestion. She fought off a grin as he perked up noticeably.
'Maybe I'll actually get to meet that gorgeous teacher properly today,' he thought hopefully. It wasn't what he was there for but... Well, considering how rarely he actually came across someone he was *interested* in, he couldn't quite bring himself to completely pass up the opportunity to find out whether the interest would last past the "getting to know him" stage.
***
Heero entered the school, trying not to either smirk or cringe at the comments he'd overheard as he passed clusters of mothers on his way in. 'The best one of the bunch had to be "You're married, you're allowed to look like slobs",' he thought in amusement. Though the one that had decided that he must be gay since he was a kindergarten teacher was pretty amusing too. The irony of the fact that the woman was actually correct about his sexual orientation but that he was really an undercover police officer was distinctly entertaining.
He really wasn't looking forward to pretending at least a cursory interest in any single mothers that might turn up to meet him. Heero would much rather be spending his time getting to know the teacher with the room across the hall from his. He couldn't remember ever having this much trouble convincing himself to do whatever it took to fulfill his assignment.
The blonde that approached him as soon as he entered his classroom, eyelashes fluttering and a simpering smile on her face, made him even more unhappy about this part of the undercover mission. "Hello, I'm Relena Darlian, Samantha's mother," she said in a cloying voice.
"Heero Yuy, the new kindergarten teacher," he responded automatically, holding out his hand to shake hers. He regretted it immediately as she clung to his fingers longer than necessary. With an effort, Heero managed not to gingerly wipe his hand off on his pants when she finally did release it.
"Could we talk for a minute?" she asked.
Biting his tongue to prevent the negative answer hovering there from escaping, Heero merely nodded and turned towards his desk. He seated himself behind it, grateful to place its solid bulk between him and the woman, while Relena removed her patent leather coat, revealing a clingy blouse with an inappropriately low neckline. "You're not from around here, are you?" she purred as she seated herself gracefully and leaned forward conspiratorially.
"No, I'm not," he answered briefly. He didn't bother giving her his cover identity's details. He wanted to keep this conversation as brief as possible.
"I thought not. You're much too classy for this little hick town. I'm not from around here either," she murmured, batting her eyelashes at him.
Heero suppressed the urge to escape. If she wasn't from around here, she might be the woman he was looking for. He couldn't turn tail and run, no matter how much he might want to. He made a slight sound of acknowledgement of her statement and hoped that the woman would hurry up and spit out whatever it was that she wanted.
"I wanted to ask you something," Relena said.
"Ah?"
"You see, Samantha's father - doesn't live with us anymore. Lately I've been a little worried about Samantha. She's been doing some odd things."
'K'so. If the father isn't living with them - that makes her a possibility. Which means I have to put up with her. Shimatta.' "Like what?" Heero inquired, trying to make himself sound a little less as if he was being tortured by this conversation.
"She's been refusing to wear skirts," she said bluntly. "She insists on dressing like a little boy. I'm a little worried that she thinks her father might still be here if she'd been a boy instead..."
Despite himself, Heero snickered. He didn't blame Samantha in the least. Especially if her mother wanted her to wear clothing as - pink - as she had on. He had a sneaking suspicion that he knew who that horrid neon pink convertible out front belonged to. "Ah. Well, one of the little boys in the class likes to look up girls' skirts," he told her bluntly. "Caught him doing it yesterday. Samantha probably just doesn't want him doing that to her."
Relena's eyes widened and her jaw dropped for a moment. She stuttered, then managed to say, "Oh. Well, that's a relief."
"Does Samantha ever see her father?" Heero inquired.
"No," she replied abruptly. "He lives in California."
Heero's interest sharpened at the same time as a small part of him wailed in dismay that the job might be over with this quickly. He hadn't even had a chance to find out the other teacher's name yet, let alone ask him out on a date! "Oh?" he managed to say. "Perhaps you could give me his name and number and I could talk to him for you. Persuade him to show a little more interest in his daughter."
Relena's voice turned cold and hard. "No."
"No? It must be hard on Samantha, never seeing her father..."
Jumping to her feet, the woman said icily, "No. It's hard on Samantha knowing that her father left us for another man."
Heero winced. 'Shimatta. That just makes her an even better possibility. Merquise hooked up with Khushrenada and changed his name to Peacecraft right around the same time that Leia took off with the kid and the money...' He wasn't quite sure how to respond to Relena's flat statement. Thankfully, he was saved from having to do so.
"Mr. Yuy, are you married?" one of the girls in his class demanded loudly.
"No, I'm not," he admitted. He'd half-planned to change his cover anyway and after seeing that very handsome teacher yesterday, he'd decided that there was no way he was going to pretend to be married.
The girl ran to the hall door and shouted, "He's not married, Mom!"
With an effort, Heero managed not to cringe.
"Welcome to Astoria, single parent capital of the world," Relena murmured in a sultry tone, her previous irritation banished. She batted her eyes at Heero and he managed to force a weak smile.
One word crossed his mind. 'Shimatta.'
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