Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Some Way Back ❯ Sclading Water ( Chapter 5 )

~#~ = flashback

#*# = scene change

~and words in between~ indicates thought

Italics- song words hehe…the song is Electrical Storm by U2…kinda makes guest appearances throughout the story…italics don't seem to want to work so ^^ comes before and after song lyrics^^

~~**~~ = end of chapter

Some Way Back : Scalding Water

Zechs watched the young man walk away and frowned. He had been coming back to offer to lend him a hand and see if there was anything that he could do to help. No small amount of this amounted from the fact that Zechs felt guilty about Duo's loss and wanted to make it up to Duo in anyway he could. He knew what it was like to lose something so close to you. Making up his mind Zechs retreated back to his office to get changed into gym clothes as well…he was going to help Duo with his workout and although he cringed at the thought of fighting the all too fit ex-gundam pilot, he knew the boy needed to get things out of his system.

Duo reached the gym, glad and a little surprised to find it empty until he noticed that it was already way after 6pm. Frowning because he didn't need to keep up a grin if no one could see him, he realized he must have spent a lot more time in front of the mirror than he thought. Snapping the band off his hair, Duo roped it up with practiced skill and fastened it together at the bas of his neck so it wouldn't get caught in the weights. Yes, he decided that weights would come first because he needed to feel strong. An experience a while ago now had convinced him that he should have his braid out of the way when he used weights.

Walking over to the gyms sound system he frowned and then smiled as he recognized one of his favourite CD's. Popping it in the player he cranked it and headed over to the machines.

Zechs watched as the chestnut haired man used the weight machines, compensating for his injured left arm. He could see when the violet eyed youth decided to concentrate on his lower half for the rest of the workout, obviously pissed off that he had incapacitated himself, when he really needed to work out to relieve some steam. Mesmerized the ex-oz member just watched as Duo finished a long session of weights and began stretching…While he stretched he reached behind and readjusted his braid to the way he usually wore it and then approached the punching bags.

Duo was pissed off. He hated weakness in himself and always tried to hide or downplay the weaknesses that he knew he had…and here he had fucking incapacitated himself. ~Good one Duo~ He decided to train in a little hand to hand…not that he had anyone to train with, which was probably a good thing considering the mood the boy was in, but still he needed to hit things really badly.

Approaching the punching bags he flexed his fingers and arms…wincing slightly at the pain in the left one and realizing that he would have to favour that side yet again. But that was ok…he could still give himself a grinding work out and kick some imaginary butt if he used a little improvisation. Imagining that the king fish behind everything was the punching bag, Duo grinned…an evil, maniacal grin that washed any thoughts of sanity away. Punching, kicking, flying through the air, crouching to avoid the swinging bag he fought with everything he had…not noticing the time passing and not noticing the man watching him.

Zechs watched as Duo fought that bag for all he was worth…he watched as the trained terrorist actually started to destroy the bag…and he looked on in mild surprise as it finally tumbled from its once stable restraints in the ceiling to the floor, spilling out its contents.

Duo panted a little, looking at the bag in surprise as if he had just realized it was only a bag.

"Nice…You should probably try and replace that…at least if you're going to relieve your tension that way a lot." Zechs raised a sardonic eyebrow and Duo started a little, angry at himself that he hadn't realized that someone was watching him.

"Hn…" That he uttered that sound, pained Duo. He felt like Heero had somehow gotten a hold of him, even in death. "Yeah well … better than laying into something living…at least at the moment anyway." He grinned…old act slipping perfectly into place.

"You know if you weren't so stubborn, you would realize there were people here willing to help you."

Duo raised an eyebrow this time. "Help me?" A bitter laugh escaped him. "I've had enough people try to help me for my lifetime thanks Zechs… I don't need anymore of them." It was a cryptic answer and about all that Zechs knew he would get at the time.

"Spar." It was all the white haired man would say.

Duo looked at him…seriously… "Do you have any idea how I am trained Zechs? Do you have any idea that if you do something I am not prepared for mentally my body will take over and react to you and your actions without my brain having the chance to realize its you and react accordingly?"

Zechs nodded. "Can the bravado Maxwell…I need a good workout just as much as you do."

Shrugging Duo concentrated. He easily parried when Zechs attacked him. Zechs was good…and his training started to take over. Zechs might have been good by average and even Oz standards…but he was not a Gundamn pilot, he was not the man Duo had spent the last four years training with…he wasn't Heero.

The bout went on for a while and Zechs couldn't see one sign of the other pilot tiring…when he himself was ready to drop. He couldn't believe that the man was managing to give him such an arse kicking with an injured arm that he protected at all costs. It was like it wasn't a weakness to him…he was drawing strength from it. The next attack Zechs made, wasn't careful enough…and he soon found himself pinned by Duo's weight, one hand closed over his windpipe…making Zechs struggle. The white haired man looked into those violet orbs and almost panicked. They were empty, distant and horribly purposeful. "Duo…" he managed to croak out.

Duo shook his head…looking down in shock he paled…and let go…stumbling backwards. Scrambling to a standing position Duo mumbled and "Sorry…" and darted from the room.

All Zechs could do was watch the retreating figure and try and figure out what the hell had just happened.

Duo barely made it back to the room. Shaking hands closed the door behind him, he was amazed he had been able to punch in the codes, and he dragged himself into the bathroom…not noticing that he was still in gym clothes and probably not caring. He turned the shower on as hot as he could and climbed under it, body shaking uncontrollably as he failed to register the heat raining down on him. He remembered how everything had begun…he remembered and he hated himself for everything…for ever having been weak enough to love the man he had.

~#~

^^Car alarm won't let you back to sleep ^^

It had been raining and subconsciously Duo had been watching from the safe house window for Heero to return from the solo mission he had been sent on a week ago. NO one else was in the safe house and Duo was lonely. The chattery teen could never seem to handle being alone…and he would never admit to anyone that he was lonely…least of all for Heero's company. But the truth was…there had been certain developments in their…friendship and although Duo wouldn't admit it out loud…he felt a strong need for the stoic, cold boys company. Deep in thought, Duo was wrenched out of them by the sound of the door slamming open. He turned, startled and poised to strike, to find Heero, sopping wet standing right next to him.

Those Prussian blue eyes looked down at him, boring into his soul and Duo felt himself melt under that gaze. Rough hands pulled him to lean against that well muscled body as lips claimed his own in a rough, bruising kiss. When they broke for air Duo found himself trying to cover his own sense of uncertainty with his usual banter… "Hey Hee…" But he didn't get any further as Heero clamped a hand over his mouth and hoisted him carrying him in the direction of the bedroom they shared. Duo was, probably for the first time in his young life, too startled to say anything…

Entering the bedroom Yuy threw Duo down on the bed and claimed those lips yet again in the same fashion as before. Although he was a little scared Duo acquiesced and let his lover plunder his mouth. Heero obviously needed this…he obviously needed comfort and because Duo loved him, though he would never admit it out loud, Duo reasoned he would give him what he needed.

But the Heero on top of him at that point in time, wasn't the Heero who had carefully and almost lovingly lost his virginity with him those couple of months ago…this was the cold Heero…the soldier Heero…and although Duo was scared…he couldn't bring it over his heart to reject any part of the boy.

Heero didn't notice his lover's distress…all he knew was that he needed Duo, more than he had ever needed him. Being the perfect soldier he hated needing anyone else…but he knew he needed Duo…around him, underneath him…to belong to him. And so he proceeded…not gently, not lovingly…and not observant…not then; just full of pent up pure need.

Duo bit hit lip…his usual vocal cries strangled and that fact was not noticed by his lover for whatever reason it was. He bit that lip as Heero's callused hands ripped more than pulled off their clothes…and he bit it as Heero bit down way too hard as he laid bites along his neck…and he bit his lip as Heero's hands pinched and rubbed his body way too hard. When he was flipped roughly onto his stomach Duo endured…giving Heero all that he needed and trying to distance himself from the hurt that he knew would come, since Heero obviously wasn't thinking about Duo's comfort at that moment. Although he tried to brace himself for it…the pain that tore through Duo when Heero entered him caused a scream of agony to tear from Duo despite his efforts…but it still didn't stop his lover. Tears rolled down Duo's face as he felt himself tear that little bit and felt liquid that had nothing to do with satisfaction roll its way down his legs. His head was yanked back by that braid he adored so much…tearing at his scalp and his smaller scream was swallowed as Heero's harsh lips claimed his own and he pushed back the tears as he felt that one last hard thrust into him as deep as it would go and Heero's groan as his lover's orgasm filled him. His body was numb…his mind trying to shut out what he had just let Heero do to him…but he had known then that he would give his life for his lover, that he wouldn't want to live without him and that he would give the boy anything and everything he needed if it was indeed within Duo's power. Heero held him safe inside those strong arms as he fell asleep, oblivious to the pain he had caused his lover.

Duo knew there would be bruises in the morning, he could feel them all over his body, his thighs…his back…his chest…and he didn't like that burning sensation on his neck…

Hearing Heero's even breathing he had risen from the bed, gingerly walking into the bathroom they shared and trying to block out the pain he was in. Slowly and gently he cleaned himself up…wincing as he cleansed the rip at his entrance…He would just stay in bed in the morning till Heero was up and dressed…that way he wouldn't notice…

^^you kept awake dreaming some else's dream
coffee is cold, but it will get you through
compromise, there's nothing new to you^^

He couldn't sleep at least not at first…his thoughts were bleak…as he tried to forget his childhood on L2. But as he looked at the man he held in his arms he realized that he did indeed love him…and hoped against hope…that he would find a life with him after the war. He may only have been 15 at the time, but his childhood had been lost a long time ago…no one understood him like Heero did. He finally drifted into an uneasy sleep, hoping against hope…that he would be enough for Heero.

Heero had opened his eyes in the morning and looked down at his lover who was sprawled across the bed…chest bared and hair spread everywhere. He let his gaze wonder from the tip of that chestnut covered head and frowned as he saw blood on the temples…realizing some of the hair had been torn out he bent closer…not really realizing what it was that he was seeing. His gaze wandered lower and came to rest on the angry red, now scabbed bite mark at the nape of Duo's neck. His mind was processing the information fast…and his face blanched…but he couldn't make himself believe it. Gently he pushed the sheet of hair from Duo's chest and cringed when he saw the marks on there. Hand sized marks. Not really wanting to, but forcing himself anyway, Heero held his own hands over the marks…they matched perfectly. He was stunned…not that he had thought that his Baka would have been stupid enough to get harmed by someone…but that he…the perfect soldier had hurt him and not realized it, and that Duo…had let him. Suddenly he remembered a scream…and his brain informed him it hadn't been a scream of pleasure as he had thought at the time. He forced himself to push the sheets off his lover. He blanched when he saw the bruises on those pale milky thighs…and he almost lost it when he saw the blood on the sheets.

It was that expression that Duo awoke to. The look of utter agony in his lover's eyes had confused him…until he tried to move and everything came flooding back. Pain had flitted across his face and the shock on Heero's face made Duo wish he could take it back.

"Duo…why?"

Duo knew what his lover was asking, but he couldn't face it properly…"Oh Heero you know me…" But his usual chatter fell short of what it usually was. Heero's face was full of self loathing…and Duo realized he had seen the blood on the sheets. Without thinking about it he had reached out and touched Heero's cheek.

"Hee-chan…its ok…you needed me last night."

Heero flinched but didn't shake the hand off…his eyes were haunted as the memories of the night came back to him. "I am so sorry…I am so sorry…" The first tears Duo had ever seen his perfect soldier cry, had fallen down his cheeks then and Duo snuggled into his chest, ignoring the pain and looping his arms loosely around his lover's waste.

"Ssssshhhh Heero…its ok…I'm still here…I'm not going anywhere…"

Suddenly he was picked up and held in Heero's arms. The dark haired boy held him gently and close…as if he would never let go.

The words he muttered into those chestnut locks over and over again…were a litany that he used many times over the future years…they had sealed Duo's fate…and stolen what little resistance was left in his heart.

"I love you Duo…I promise I will do my best to never hurt you ever again…I love you my baka, I will never let anyone hurt you, I will never leave you alone."

Duo relaxed in those arms and fell into an easy sleep…rocked in the arms of the man he loved.

~#~

The water was scalding…Duo's skin was red as he rocked himself back and forth in the shower, tears streaming down his face, fingernails digging into his shoulders as he held himself. He sat like that for a long time…remembering…remembering those words.

Suddenly the anger returned and he stood, ignoring stiff limbs and turned off the water…peeling off his wet cloths he stepped out of the shower. He rubbed a clear space in the fogged mirror and stared at himself…at his eyes…not caring that his skin was almost burnt…

"You did it Hee…you found a way to break that promise permanently…you're fucking gone…"

All of a sudden he was tired…it was early but he needed sleep. He wasn't going to have the time to wallow in this self pity anymore…he needed to be strong.

Reaching his bed he pulled on his usual sleeping attire, not really registering what it was he was doing. He was so tired his body felt like it was going to fall where he was standing. There was barely enough time for him to turn the lights out and gather the pillows and blanket to his now cold body before sleep claimed him.

~~**~~

To be continued

Sorry this one was a little shorter…but carrying on the chapter just didn't feel right…so I left it there. Feel free to tell me what you think.

Arith