Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ WaStElAnD ❯ ConVerGenCe ( Chapter 11 )

Welcome To The MotherFuckin

WaStELanD…..by HaTe Dept

Ah well I didn't get the shit done before convergence, and let me tell ya it was one fuck all of a good time. Ahahah yeah got fuckin wasted….it was all bout the third floor and free liquor…good Fuckin TiMes

D: dude you are such a fuckin drunk

HD: so are you

D: Thas only cause you write me like you

H: Shut the hell up

HD: You are so DEAD TO ME, I'd cross you out of my PDA, but I need some B-batteries, my shits all dead

D: b-batteries there's no such thing

H: and why do you think you don't have a PDA

D: Why

H/HD: cause you're STUPID

Ch 11 CoNVeRgEnCE

"He's incapacitated. He won't do anything, but drool on you." Quatre said with fleeting care to Heero. I tuned to the side and snuggled into Heero's chest. Heero pulled me back so he could lean on the back of the van to support my weight with his. One of his arms rested on my side the other brushed through my bangs. I could feel his breath on the top of my head as he spoke.

"After everything I've done to you, you would lay here and sleep on me. You would give me your weakest moment."

"I....." What came out next was nothing more then indecipherable gibberish. I would have slept on a nuclear bomb for all I cared at the moment.

In the delusions between wake and sleep I found the lies of my existence. I no longer knew if I wanted to go back to the colony or just make trouble for the others here. I would be with Manny and everyone doing the same things I'd done for four years day in and out. Was it that I just didn't know what else to do or how else to survive. Maybe I was repenting for what I'd become and using the friends I ran from to induce the punishment. This could be what the masochist in me wanted.

My eyes parted filling with the white light of the room. The white light of the Godly sun. I smiled as it blinded me. None of it was true. I wanted to torture the others as they did me. I wanted to see them held accountable for their decisions. They knew the truth, yet keep me here. They deserved everything I was going to give them. They deserved to have their lives ruined for political gain or in this case, my amusement. Revenge is such a fun and twisted game.

The light dimmed as my eyes grew accustomed to it. I looked around the room and hated it. I hated the waste it personified. The ravish expenditures it took to make such a hideous display of wealth. Some would say it was jealousy for not having it. To me it was, having it didn't mean you had to waste it on such trash. A massive bed for the visitor to dream of every time he left. The sheer silver fabric that surrounded it sparkling in the waning light. Hand carved dark oak posts, all four a separate masterpiece to make the most spiteful critic mew in aw.

I pushing the soft silver silk sheets from me and placed my feet on the marble floor. I figured it would have been cold on my feet if they weren't wrapped in so much gauze. The floor was a marvel of marble, spiraling black and silver that went up the walls to meet at the rounded ceiling. There were large smooth pillars of silver that curved to meet with the marble at the top. Windows were carved from the marble between the pillars and coated with the sheer silver fabric. The outer two windows were filled with dark stained-glass images of death and the middle was left alone to let some life in. The room was made for me. A ridiculous waste for me.

It was funny that Quatre had this room made for me when he and Trowa had first moved in. He made one for all of the piolets so whenever we came to stay we would be comfortable. I was the only one that never saw my room until I was forced too. I looked out the open window again to see the blood red of the sunset. I walked to the love seat that faced the window. The only color in the room. It was stained like the sunset and made of velvet. I placed a hand on it is I watched the sun disappear. I gave a snide chuckle when it was gone. I used to think seeing the sun would make me feel more alive. Instead it only made me want to rip out my throat.

A cool wind blew in the room. It was filled with the promise of night. I sighed as I turned back into the waste of wealth with the smell of oil, sweat, and machinery filling my nose. I walked across the room to the bathroom which lay on to the right of the door that lead into the rest of the estate. Another door rested directly across from the bathroom, which was the closet, though it was a damn hike to get to the closet from the bathroom. I didn't understand why anyone one would need a fuckin opera hall for a room. I didn't need to be running god dammed marathons before I went to sleep.

I entered the bathroom, which had the same decor as main room, exactly the same only a little smaller. I took a piss in the black marble toilet as I looked around the room. It was set up pretty simple, if ya called having a huge jacuzzi bathtub, which could fit four easily, and a spacious shower behind it, simple. There were two sinks and a large mirror that sat to the right of the pisser.

I finished and buttoned myself up. I swear as long as I was here, I was gonna wear these damn pants. I thought to myself as I washed my hands off and splashed the soapy water on my torso to get some of the dirt and crap off me. I gently rinsed off my face, making sure not to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I took the ten fuckin mile walk over to the closet to see if there were any clothes in it I could tolerate to wear. I shook my head as I found the thing full of black pants, shirts, underwear, and everything else I would never need. I grabbed a plain t-shirt ripped off the tag and put it on, I fuckin hate tags.

The shirt was a little tight on me since I had gained some muscle mass working on the colony, but it wasn't too bad. Quatre must of bought it after the war thinking I would actually show up. I laughed the thought away as I walked over to the bed and grabbed the covers and a pillow. I dropped them in the bathtub. The bed was too big, too comfortable, too fictitious. It was the embodiment of a life I had always despised.

"Are you going to say something or just watch me?" I asked deadly to the presence I felt enter the room when I was bringing the sheets into the bathroom. The room remained silent as I climbed into the bathtub to check out my new bed. It was decent, kinda reminded me of my bed on Mars, only it was bigger and a bathtub.

I got up peaking over the rim at the shadowed form of Heero. He reminded me of the night as he stood so still and silent like he was awaiting the moon to steal his emptiness. I could feel his eyes on me rather then see them in the dim light of the bathroom.

"Did ya need something or you just gonna be the mute freak." I said with little tolerance for him especially.

"I was sent to see how you were feeling and if you wanted to eat something." He said stepping into the room more fully. He turned his face from me before the light could reach it. Guess he didn't care to see his handy work either.

"Fine and not if it's with you." He looked at me and I had to hide the little shock I was feeling at seeing a black line down the right side of his face. My words were harder to stop. Can only focus on stopping one thing at a time.

"Whoa dude, what happened to your head." I said with a hint of laughter.

"You." He stated with a glare.

"I did that?"

"You don't remember. In the van you slammed my head into the wall."

"Aw, no shit. I did? Man. I remember you draggin my ass to it an Quatre givin me some pills, but other then that it's all a blur." My chin came to rest on my hands where they held the edge. My eyes studying the floor. "I guess a lot of things are a blur to me anymore. It seems pointless to have memory when all you can remember is pain."

"Hn. You are the tragedy of earth." Heero said before he turned to leave. "If you're hungry, there's food downstairs."

I heard the door close and frowned at the door. Was that suppose to be some kind of fuckin joke? Yeah , I'm so fuckin tragic. What he hell does that mean? My face scrunched in my growing contemplation. I got out of the tub and almost took a dive because of my gauze booties.

"Fuckin tragic. Does he think I'm whining or some shit. Earth's fuckin tragedy." I grumbled as I tore off the booties. I let out a sigh at feeling the cool marble against the cuts on my feet. I stood and my breath caught for a moment at the slight pain. I walked towards the door getting used to the feeling. The cold of the floor made the pain kind of pleasant. I went into the hall where the floor changed to wood. It still wasn't unpleasant to walk on. I hummed a random song that was attacking my mind as I went down the overdone hall to the stairs. I really didn't have a clue where the stairs were, I just got lucky.

There were way to many stairs to be walking down with my feet all fucked up so I took the easy way and jumped my ass on the railing. Yep, stupid ass move. My right hand was bandaged and my left was all I had to slow me down. Needless to say it didn't work so well and I came down hard on my feet which sent me into the wall. I groaned, rolling on the floor, holding my pulsating appendages.

When I was done with my self-inflicted agony, I noticed the smell of food in the air. Let me tell ya when there's food around, I got the nose of a tracking dog. I walked down another stretch of hall and through a swinging door to a massive dinning room. The room was like some kind of castle dinning room. All types of tapestries hanging on the walls and an enormous chandelier lighting the table. I barley took notice of it as I focused on the being of all the hate in the universe that sat at the far end. He didn't take any notice to me as I closed the distance between us in furious strides. I stood to the side of him as he picked at a bowl of ramen.

"What do you mean I'm fuckin tragic?" I snarled at Heero. He didn't even look at me as he poked at the noodles.

"Doesn't it hurt to be on your feet so soon?" He question in his normal monotone.

"Answer my question first. What the hell did you mean?" I slammed my hand next to his bowl for effect.

"Exactly what I said." Heero grabbed a hunk of noodles between the chopsticks.

"I want you to fuckin explain it to my stupid ass." I growled as my anger began to peak and I knocked the bowl from the table. It shattered in a mess of noodles and one of a kind china on the floor. Heero dropped the chopsticks as his head slowly rolled up so his eyes could meet mine.

"You act like you're the only one to ever suffer. As if no one in the world has ever had it as bad as you. You pretend that..."

"Is that what you truly believe. Is that how you think I feel." I leaned down getting in Heero's face. "That's not it at all Yuy. I feel betrayed by everyone I used to care about. By everyone I ever opened up too. By everyone I gave my love too, even when it wasn't returned."

"You are tragic." Heero countered. I gave him a wicked smile.

"I do remember something I said to you in the van. I think I told you that you were nothing to me and that's all you'd ever be. Is that right?" Heero gave a slight nod of his head. I leaned even closer to him, setting my lips against his ear.

"That was a lie." My words were loaded with sex. I peaked my tongue out to catch the lobe of his ear. I heard the chair creak in his tightened grip on it.

"You are hate. You are all the hate inside me." I finished licking up his ear and turning from him.

I lost all will to eat as I left following my previous steps back to my room. I dragged the love seat to the door and propped it against the handle hoping it would work as desired. I just wanted to be left alone. I gave a groaning stretch as I got into the tub. If it didn't work at least the sound of the love seat moving would wake me. My stomach gave a slight growl to alert me to it's plight. I wasn't in the mood for food at the moment so I made it wait.

I laid there trying not to think, knowing I wouldn't dream. Maybe I was acting tragic, but it was how I felt, mislead and misdirected. Me with the motto `I may run and hide, but I'll never tell a lie,' was living nothing but that. Lie after lie. I could barley trust myself anymore.

"Did you mean that?" I choked on a breath as my eyes shot open to Heero's voice close to me. He was in a push up position above me. His legs straddled mine and only now came to rest against my own. I didn't need to ask how he got in here so quietly. That's what Heero did. He was always the stealth one.

"I wouldn't of said it if I didn't." Heero said nothing as he stared down at me. I propped myself up on my elbows bringing our faces closer.

"You are all my hate." I tilted my head and parted my lips as he leaned over connecting our mouths. His leg slid between mine and his left hand rested against my neck, his thumb rubbing along my jaw line. It was by no means a kiss of passion. It was more akin to a mix of desperation and despair with the hope of understanding underlying it all. Time spun on into eternity, warped by some sense of destruction. It could be thought of as destiny, the two of us ending up like this, but destiny is a dangerous fault line to place life on.

Heero pulled back from me reverting to a push up position. The vile creation he thought of as a smile spread along his lips. I studied his face as thoughts purged in my mind. I watched his face move in closer.

"Is this how you pictured it?" Heero stopped half way down at the sound of my whisper. "Is it what you wanted from the beginning or did you want me on all fours so you could fuck me like the animal I am."

Heero's hand took me across the face sending my cheek to meet with the porcelain tub. The cut in the middle of my lip split. I caught the slow forming line of warmth with my tongue and brought the bleeding skin wrapped fat in my mouth. My eyes caught Heero and my head slowly rolled back to him.

"To much truth for ya to bear Yuy." Heero closed his eyes and turned away from me as he gracefully removed himself from the tub without even a touch to me. I laid on my side turning my back to Heero.

"You only see what you want to see." His words echoed with the shutting door in the empty room. I closed the lids of my eyes trying to forget the echoing voice. The letters he formed to declarative words that turned in my mind embedding themselves with all the other cryptic curses that have left his lips.

I didn't sleep well. Probably better than I would of in the bed, but I tossed and turned all over the bottom of the tub. It wasn't dreams that kept me from rest. Thoughts had turned to delirious voices devouring the shell of disaffection I'd built around myself. It was a short fall to oblivion.

Rummaging through so many words of deceit, treachery masked by acts of kindness. It gets hard when they've got you questioning your own feelings.

I pulled myself from the tub unable to ignore the reflection looking back at me. I stared myself down wondering how much farther I could fall before I would be gone. The right side of my face was healing into a nice yellowish green, which accented the deep circles creeping under my eyes. How long had it been since I had a drink?

That's what I needed. Shit always seemed to sort itself out when I was drunk. I gave myself the finger as I left my new bedroom. I made my way down the hall to the only place I knew how to get too. I figured near the dinning room would have to be the kitchen, unless Trowa and Quatre were jackasses, which I wasn't completely sure I could dispute.

Needless to say they are brighter then they look and the kitchen was through the only other door in the room. At least they kept my options down to one, unlike the dyke whore Relena. God I fuckin hated her.

"Can I assist you sir?" Some weird looking arabic guy asked me. He was in some kinda towels that I guess were suppose to be his suit.

"Ya could point me to the liquor." I said with a grin. He studied me over.

"Aren't you the prisoner Maxwell"

"Oh and how word gets around. Well I do declare. I neva new I would be sucha celebrity." I said with a southern bell accent. The man gave me an unamused look.

"Come on man I really need a drink." I said dropping the act and looking pathetic, which really wasn't too hard to do anymore. The man seemed to be indecisive for a minute or hour, depending on who's side you were looking at it from.

"There is a wine cellar. You go through that door, down the stairs and take a right. Then it's the door at the end of the hall. If anyone finds you there"

"Eh man don't worry, I'm pretty good at findin shit on my own. I don't even know who the fuck you are any way." I said with a shrug heading to the door he pointed to on the right of the fridge. It was some old world looking thing.

"I apologize sir my name is..."

"Shut it man. I don't even wanna know. I can't say shit I don't know right?" I said giving him a smile over my shoulder.

"You may need this." He said tossing me a bottle opener. Good call, that would have sucked to been surrounded by wine I can't open.

I trucked down the stairs and down the hall. My hand was shaking as it reached for the handle. I got a grip on it and yanked it open.

"God did make a heaven on earth." My voice was a little high as my face took on that of a detached lunatic. I ran to the first shelf of wine. I didn't care for the year or the kind. I just needed to drink. I shoved the bottle opener and tore the cork out. I barley tasted it as I dumped it straight down my throat, putting breathing into a secondary function. I coughed out a mouthful as my body betrayed my will and had to take in air. I heaved a couple a breaths before I took down the rest of the bottle.

I slumped to the ground in a sigh of contentment leaning my back on the shelves I grabbed the bottle from. I let the bottle roll away from me as I pulled the cork off the opener and reached my hand above my head to grab another.

"Ain't nothin like a liquid breakfast." I chuckled to myself as I drank of the next bottle. The world around the room began to fade with the stack of empty bottles I was creating. My hands were getting a nice red stain on them and I was sure I had a matching ring around my mouth, but the wine was good as hell.

I was well beyond the point of no return when I decided to get up and see what was going on outside my little world. I grabbed a couple of bottles and put them in the side pockets of the cargo pants I was still wearing. The newly open bottle of wine I carried sloshed on the ground as I stumbled down the hall and some how made it up the stairs. Well almost. I took a dive at the top and was sprawled on the kitchen floor for a minute as I cackled at myself, but barley spilled any wine and didn't break the ones in my pockets. Gotta have priorities.

I used the island in the kitchen to get myself on my feet. I was really surprised my feet hadn't bothered me all day. Guess I just needed to walk on them, not that the drink didn't help. I really wasn't feeling much of anything, except a small spinning in my head. I wove my way into the dinning room tilting the bottle back. Wine spilled out of the corner of my mouth as I reached the door to the dinning room and forgot to open it. I was attempting to pull the bottle from my mouth, but it just clinked against the wooden barrier. I stepped back and leaned forward letting the wine poor out of my mouth as I laughed silently. I could barley make out the door from the tears in my eyes. No one is ever around when I do shit like that.

I got a grip on myself as I finally made it into the dinning room. Still snickering wiping my eyes.

"Duo! Where have you been?" It took me a little searching to locate the owner of the voice. Then I saw Quatre sitting at the head of the dinning room table with a bunch of papers spread in front of him.

"Everyone else is out searching for you. We thought you tried to escape again." Quatre got a better look at me as I staggered towards him.

"Shhh. Yer gonna ruin the plan I was gonna think bout makin....now." I said with a trashed grin.

"By Allah Duo. You are completely drunk aren't you?" He said looking like I had just blown up his precious assumptions. I opened my mouth to say something, forgot it, and took a drink from the bottle. Then tried again.

"No, I passed that a long time ago."

"How did you find the wine cellar? How much did you drink?"

"The how and why arn inpornate. Was inpornate is...is, well there's nothin inpornate. No there is." I tried to hold back the laugh as my body started shaking when I realized I had no idea what the hell we were talking about. Quatre got up and pulled out the chair I was standing next to.

"Why don't you sit here for awhile. I have to call the others and tell them I found you."

"That," I said putting my arm around Quatre, "is a fuckin brillnt idea." He snuck out of my head lock on sat me down. I didn't notice he left as I mumbled incoherently to myself, bursting into laughter on oblivious whims. I grabbed one of the bottles from my pocket as I tapped out the previous. I was getting really good at opening bottles of wine, even when I was completely shit canned.

I closed one eyes staring at one of the tapestries on the wall across from me. I still couldn't keep it in focus. I shrugged it off as I took a swig of the wine. I was getting really sick of sitting here. I wanted to go outside. I don't even know what Quatre was thinking telling me to stay somewhere and actually believing I would unless I was tied, handcuffed, or strapped down. I am deaf to certain tones of voice, all those that tell me what to do.

I got up and roamed through the house. I didn't have a clue to where I was going, nor did I pay any attention. The rooms blurred into monochrome. I couldn't find the door. I just wanted to go outside and there was no door. My irritation was building. My eyes caught the light of the setting sun out a window. I went to it in a second. I put my hand in the middle and pushed amazed it opened without much effort. I didn't even think as I jumped out.

I smiled feeling the cool grass on my feet then frowned when I got a hint of pain from that grass digging into one of the cuts on my foot. I plopped on my ass right there. I really didn't want anything, but to be outside.

"You left him by himself when he was drunk. Are you stupid Winner." I heard Wufei growling at Quatre.

"Well, I didn't think he'd get up. I really didn't think he could get up." Quatre tried to defend himself.

"Duo can handle a lot more alcohol than most seasoned drinkers. I've seen him drink on Mars. I don't know how he survived like that everyday." I heard Yuy add.

"Duo." the voice came from above me. I leaned my head back against the house looking up with one eye.

"Ey Tro. I really wanted ta go outside." I said with a laugh letting my tongue hang out the side of my mouth. I leaned forward looking at the horizon drinking more wine. I heard Trowa come out the window and sit next to me. I didn't look at him just kept drinking.

"Does that make you feel better?" I let out a loud sigh as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and turned to Trowa's question.

"It makes me feel numb. It make me feel happy." I said with a genuine smile. "It may not solve the problems of the world, but it do mine." The bottle was at my mouth again. Trowa's hand rested against my back. I looked to him.

"You know where the cellar is. Do what makes you happy. It really shouldn't be this way. You shouldn't be here at all." Trowa hand dropped and he looked to the sunset. "It's a painful beauty isn't it. It reminds me of everything that's been lost."

"Yeah, but it's one day closer to death and me gettin off this planet." I said following his gaze.

"Is that why you didn't try to escape, because you think the only way out is death?" I scoffed at Trowa's question. I drank down the rest of the bottle and handed it to him as I opened the next. He didn't ask again. He knew I wouldn't answer him. I had no reason too.

"We should go inside." Trowa said standing as the rays of light faded into darkness.

"We shouldn't do anything." I said staring at the bottle. "Don't try to be my friend Tro. You know as well as I do, if I had the chance I'd make it worse for you. For all of you."

"I can't stand it anymore!" Wufei yelled behind me. My attention was brought back to the window and Wufei screaming at me. "You blame all of us for your plight. You think we are the ones that make you suffer so much. Well what about your friends? Where were they? That's right, they let this happen to you. And what of Zechs? Your leader, the man who's given you everything. Where is he when you need him? He's living his life free and untouched. Why do you think you're here? Who do you think sold you out? You want to blame us? We weren't the ones who made you stay here. He's the one who didn't want to give you any help. He's the one who wanted someone to take the fall so he could keep his precious colony!" Wufei was panting as he glowered down at me.

I didn't even know how to react, so I just sat there with my mouth open. Just staring like an idiot. I couldn't leave it like that though and only cause I was drunk. Well not really, but it's a valid excuse.

"Damn Fei, I think that's more than you ever said to me during the war. Whoa man, you're freaking me out yo." The bottle met my lips again as Wufei's body twitched in anger.

"Wufei come on, why don't we go have some tea?" Quatre was prying Wufei's hand from the windowsill. He finally did get the fuming Chinese man out of the room.

"Everything he said was true." Trowa added as he climbed in the window. "Zechs did want you to take the dive. Anything to save himself." Trowa looked back to me for a response once he entered the window.

"Ya know man, that shit might of mattered a couple days ago, but Zechs already told me, straight up, how he feels about me. It don't matter if he wanted me to take the dive or not. All you motherfuckers still carried out the sentence. You're the ones that beat me down every time I get a foot under me. Now you finally got it. All ya gotta see me fail. Got to see the God of Death turned into a little bitch. Just make sure when ya laugh, it's all up in my face." I finished flipping him off and drinking more of the wine. I was just all types of pissed for some reason.

"Are you coming in." Oh yeah that's why, I thought as Heero's voice came from behind me.

"No I ain't. So why don't you fuck off." I said in a matter-o-fact tone. Heero came out of the window to sit next to me. "The fuck you thinkin Yuy?"

"We can't leave you unsupervised. We can't afford to let you escape again."

"Huh, if that's so then why didn't you put all them collar and bracelet thing on me. You leave me like this and supervision or not, I'll get my ass otta here." I said giving Heero a smirk.

"You know you have no where to go. Zechs is already gone and every space port has double security."

"Just in case?" I said rolling my eyes at him as I tried to empty more of the bottle down my throat.

"It won't be necessary. Next time I won't hesitate or miss." Heero said forming his hand into a gun and pretending to shoot me in the head.

****No MoRe*****

D: Well that was crap.

HD: you wouldn't know crap if it was shoved in your face

H: obviously you don't know crap when it's in front of your face

HD: dude you about to get smacked

D: speaking of smacking, what the fucks with the pussy ass violence

HD: you couldn't take anymore dork

H: oh that's why we ain't done nothin cause Duo couldn't handle me

D: I'd have to find something to handle first.

H: All of you are DEAD TO ME…crossing you all out Now…DEAD…DEAD…DEAD…DEAD…

HD: well that could take a while

H: Can't hear you, dirt is being thrown on your coffin.

VINCENT (FF7): Damnit will you people get out of my fuckin coffin. Ahh and you wonder why I'm filled with such angst. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT HD.

HD: ……