Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ Clubhouse Studios ❯ pool problems ( Chapter 2 )

All of the hams began setting up the clubhouse so it looked like a studio, and it was looking really great too. The idea of making it like a movie set worked well, nice job hams. "Man, setting this place up takes a lot out of you." said Kousi.

"Stop whining, you'll burn off some of that fat you got under that fur." said Maido.

"What fat, this is all muscle."

"Right, and my hoot is made of jello."

"Oopsie."

"It was sarcasm."

"If sarcasm is a bad joke, you need better comedy."

"You weak lumps, If I can haul two of these heavy lights, you should be able to haul three." said Mahura.

"Don't throw your back out before I get to be on it Mahura-chan, that would be bad." said Maido.

"Keep your wet dreams to yourself."

"You hams look like you could use an extra set of arms."

The working hams turn to see Jam, who like always, gigs into the clubhouse... Picks up a couple of tripods and walks up to Kousi, Maido and Mahura. "Heyhoo you hams?" he asks.

"Jam-san, how are you?" asked Maido.

"Alive and well... and still traveling...."

"Hey, what's going on here?" Tiaho comes out with three rolls of film over his helmet. "Jam-san, is that you?"

"Of course it is, Taisho-san." Jam answered. "If it weren't me, then you got problems."

Taisho and Mahura laugh. "Now how come you can't have jokes or funny stuff like Jam, Maido? No matter, help us out, Jam."

After the hams set up shop.... completely, everyone sat down and had a chat. Jam reaquainted himself with the rest of the gang, and was filled in on everything. "This was Tora's idea, wasn't it?" asked Jam.

"Acutally, it was Ribon's." answered Panda.

"Madame Ribon, she came up with this idea?"

"Zhat's right, Jam-san." answered Ribon."

"Well, okay. But you guys have a really major setback on making this sort of material."

"What do you mean by that?" asked the gang.

"For one, the crew."

"Crew, you mean cast?" asked Taisho.

"Yup.

"You're nuts, Jam. There are plenty of us to do these shoots."

"There are plenty... but there are also few."

"I.... don't get it." said Hamtaro.

"He's got a point." said Megane.

"Well could you fill the rest of us in, cause we're a bit lost?" requests Tora-kun.

Megane began to explain. "Jam-san is referring to the fact that there are only three girls."

"And?"

"And, there are a lot of us fellas. That does prove challenging."

"Wrong, that's problematic, Mega-kun." said Jam.

"I agree with Megane on this one, Jam-san." said Panda. "If we can make porn using three girls, than we can pull off anything."

"Panda-kun, everyone, just hear me out for a minute... Since all of you are gonna go at it in these shoots, you have to take in consideration the sunnies. Sure there are plenty of fresh guys to get ready and go, but with all the shooting going around, you lots of rods, but not enough holes to fish in."

Everybody went blank. "Heke?!" asked the gang.

"You'll dick the girls out..." said Neteru.

"Say that again." said Hamtaro.

"Zu... zu... zu..."

"Translation: You're gonna screw the girls into exhaustion." Jam clarified.

"Why didn't you just say that in the beginning?" asked Mahura.

"Oopsie, Mahu-chan, I was trying to be funny like Maido."

"Please don't."

"Moving on... I still don't think it's a problem like you say it is." said Taisho.

"Well the next problem is pool prospective." Jam said. "Because there are only three girls, the pool of prospective girls to do a shoot with is limited. It's limited even more so to you guys.... For example, Tora can only have at it with Ribon-chan and Mahu-chan. Tora can't go at it with his oniichan, it's not right. The pool also is closed further if the sunny in question is coupled with another guy. For example, Panda wants at it with Tora-chan, but Tora-chan won't for her body goes to Noppo...."

"Well, I wouldn't really mind sex with Panda..." said Tora-chan.

"Benefit of doubt, Tora-chan, benefit of doubt. Anyway, if she was really like that, Panda's pool prospective would be limited like Tora's. See what I'm getting at?"

"I get it," answered Hamtaro, "But Noppo-san wouldn't mind if Tora-chan and I sexed on camrea, would you?"

"The hell I wouldn't." answered Noppo.

"It was an example."

"Even still, I would mind."

"Would you mind, Tora-kun?"

"Not really my choice." Tora-kun answered.

"So what do you have to say as far as our lack of pool prospective, Jam-san?" asked Taisho.

"Well, Taisho my man, get more sunnies." answered Jam.

"Riiiiiiiiiiight."

"Hey Kousi, when was the last time you had a chat with Jaja-san?"

Kousi gasped, "Uh uh, no way, forget it, Jam." he said. "Even if I did, there would be no chance in hell I'd let anyone else besides me mate with her."

"You're a bit protective, aren't you?"

The hams turn to see a familiar face, which also lights up a certain ham's face. "Hana-chan!" Maido goes running to his childhood gal pal. "Hana-chan, it's so good to see you. When did you get here?"

"Actually, I've been here for a while." answered Hana. "And I didn't come here alone either."

"Hey Maido-kun, save a hug for me, Sugah."

"Jaja!" Kousi come to his ham girl in open arms, hugs her and swings her around. "Jaja, I've missed you so much, oh it's so good to see you."

"Kousi-chan, easy, I dun wanna lose mah lunch." said Jaja.

Hmf, Ironic twist. thought Jam.

"Now what's going on here?" asked Hana.

Tora-kun cuts in. "Well ladies, we plan on doing some porndustry to pass the time."

"Adult flicks huh, sounds fun." said Jaja.

"This was your idea, wasn't it?" asked Hana.

"Actually, it was Ribon-chan's idea." answered Maido.

"Huh, Imagine that." said Jaja. "Anyway, I'm game for something like this."

"Absolutely not!" said Kousi. "There's no way in hell I'm letting them touch you. I forbid... nay I say, nnnnaaaaaaay!"

"Kousi-chan..... Now stop it right there, I wanna do this with the guys, it'll be fun."

"No way, you can't do this."

"Oh, so it's okay to hump the other girls, but I can't let the other guys hump me?"

"Now hold on a minute...."

"Kousi, you're acting like the piglet that gets rejected the sou's tit. Don't bring that crap up with me."

"But-"

"Not a word. And besides, you act like we'll be doing it with total strangers, we all know who we are here, so there's nothing to worry about."

"I still don't want you doing this."

"Kousi-chan, you know every guy that I'm gonna get humped by, we're all friends here."

"Even so..."

"Kousi you baka, pull your balls out of your asshole and lighten up. It's just our friends. I wouldn't ming you churning Ribon's butter, so quit making a hassle on who's gonna churn mine. Sheesh!"

"Jaja.... that's so mean....."

Kousi began to cry, but Jaja took Hana by her paw and the two girls had a seat. I know you love me, but get a grip already.... she thought.

"It's been a while, Megane, how have you been?" asked Hana.

"Good, very good." answered Megane.

"And yourself, Jam-san?"

"Still traveling, Hana-san." Jam answered. "And you, how are you Jaja-san?"

"Still won't call me Jaja-chan... Well y'know.... I'm still me." answered Jaja.

"Das good, but you really could've let Kousi off much lighter than that. I mean I'm all for tuff-luv, but uh...."

"Jam, I know my Kousi-chan cares about me, and vicy versie, but me having sex with you or any of the rest of the guys here is no big bother. I mean, I don't sweat it if he's doing one of the other girls in a shoot besides me, he can do the same."

"Well said." said Tora-kun.

"Do you understand now, hon?"

"Yeah, but I still don't like it." answered Kousi.

"Well, at least we have a nice idea on how we're gonna do these pornos." said Ribon.

"Pornos huh, well I'm glad I stopped by."

Everyone turned to see Kururin walking in and pulling a stool to the table. "Kuru-donno, so nice to see you again." greeted Jam.

"Likewise, Jam, likewise." said Kururin.

"If it's one ham we don't need here, it's you." said Mahura. "We don't take kindly to pompous hams."

"You aren't intimidated by me are you?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Then what's it matter to you.... Oh I get it, you're afraid that after one time, I'll take your man from you."

"Guys don't like rotten crotch."

"I'm sorry, my vet said I was clean as a whistle."

"Hey, take it easy girls, we can all coexist." said Taisho.

"What I don't understand is why you guys would want shallow old maid like her?" said Kururin.

"I'm no old maid, you pompous bitch!" yelled Mahura.

"Yeah, but you're shallow like the wading pool."

"At least I'm no whore like you."

Jam fell out of his seat laughing. "Ladies, come on, knock it off." said Jaja.

"She started it." said Kururin.

"Well we don't want you here." said Mahura.

"Perhaps, but you need me."

"No we don't."

"Look, don't get mad at me because I let my pussy breathe while you let yours suffocate."

Tora-kun and Noppo joined Jam. "At least I'm not loose like you."

Ribon started snickering. "Virgins are never loose."

"Enough already." Taisho ordered. "You two are acting like little kids. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore."

"I demand an apology!" yelled Kururin.

"I'm sorry your spread your legs to every Tom, Dick and Harry." said Mahura.

Panda joined the ranks of the "fallen". "You know what your problem is, you got Bonerphobia."

"How come Maido can't have jokes like this?" asked Jam, still rolling on the floor laughing.

"Who are you saving it for anyway?" asked Kururin.

"That's none of your damn business...." answered Mahura.

"It doesn't matter anyway, it's not like your owner's gonna let you have some dick anytime soon."

Maido, Megane and Hamtaro fell to the floor in tears. "Only a cheap thrill would say that."

"You're just mad because you've only got three suitors. I got suitors lined up arond the block to get a piece of me."

"Which only proves that you'll lay down on your back for any horny guy that comes along in the need of a service."

"Kidneys... oh the kidneys... make it stop." pled the still hysterical Jam.

"Enough of this shit!" yelled Taisho. "Either you two check this, or you're gonna get real fuckin' acquainted in the first shoot."

[Aw man, that was funny.....]