Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ Concerning him ❯ Concerning them (part III.) ( Chapter 7 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Stray 
Anime/Manga: Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Psychological / Romance / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.18.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 757 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Psychological / Romance / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.18.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 757 | Status: Work In Progress
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Chapter 04
Concerning them (part III.)
by Stray
17. 12. 2003
rating: R
Disclaimers: not mine, only fussing around.
Warnings: bad English, angst, heavy OOCness, yaoi hints, pairing: HxA, IxW
CAUTION: RATING IS STRONGLY R because of sexual themes (what? you did wait for it all along!)!!!
BEWARE OF ASTRONOMY!!! T~T
--------------------------------
The dinner was a full success, despite that I cooked it. Even the picky Waya liked it. After done, we opened a bottle of champagne and Isumi gave a toast to 'our new life' with barely camouflaged suggestions that made Touya blush slightly. I was only smiling and taking care to drink enough to be able to stand the innuendo that I predicted to be the recurring topic of the night. After the champagne we opened the bottle of whiskey Waya brought as a present and we drank of our rotund goblets previously used to drink the sparkling wine from. No wonder that our spirits rose abruptly.
After the whisky was half-done, Touya suggested that we could play Go in two-man-teams. Surprisingly everyone accepted the plan since no one had a better idea. I was paired up with Waya and playing against Isumi, so Touya ended up in a match against Waya. The accessories were no problem since both of us had our own tables and stones. And of course the bottle and glasses weren’t too far from our reach either. It started to resemble the parties the three of us used to celebrate only this time without girls and including Touya who awkwardly seemed to blend right in. I didn’t even notice when he opened the second bottle of spirits after the whisky was gone.
Despite that he was just as drunk like the rest of us he won his match when I only maintained to win mine because Isumi was playing like an 8-year-old child.
"I've lost, Hikaru!" Waya complained tipsily after Isumi got the picture that he should have resigned several hands ago and did so.
"Then it's a draw since Shindo won." Touya said gurgling the words.
"That's no fun!" Isumi prompted. "So we cannot punish the losers!"
"But we can…" Touya frowned wanting to prop his chin with his hand but failing to synchronize his body. Next moment he landed on the carpet with a large thud. "Ow!" he gave out a small yell but continued after that like nothing had happened. "Like I said before: we can punish the losers and the punishment will be, that were ever loses will strip down a piece of cloth."
Waya looked dumbfounded. "OK, we will do that. But who lost?"
Touya smiled slyly. "You lost against me and Isumi-san lost against Shindo, but since he was in a team with me and Waya-san was in a team with Shindo, that means all of you lost!" he blurted out.
"Sooo… did you think that all up to be able to see Shindo undressed?" Isumi darted the question at him.
"That includes yourself too." I babbled in with a smug grin on my face before he could answer.
He seemed to think about my statement then nodded slowly. "I wasn’t considering that" he admitted slightly annoyed but then he shrugged and resigned. He started immediately to tug on the rim of his sweater and pulled it down through his head then before anyone could say anything, he opened the zipper of his denim and tugged that also down. In the next minute he sat there only with his pants and socks on. He stared quizzically at our surprised gapes and asked finally: "You want me to take down the rest too?"
I promptly seized his hand already tugging on the waistband of his white boxers, but he pulled back roughly and I lost my balance that resulted in me lying across his lap with my nose just millimeters from the said piece of clothing. I froze but a moment later I heard Isumi laughing softly and saying, "That’s the way to go!" When I turned my head towards the voice I saw the two of them already skillfully divesting the other one out of his garments with practiced movements. And while I could only watch them, with hazy mind I felt two hands wandering towards my belt, yanking free my T-shirt and trying to pull it down roughly across my head.
"Ow! What are you doing Touya?!" I yelled with frustration.
But I didn’t have time to sulk for I immediately heard Waya's voice agreeing with me but not quite how I would have liked to: "Yeah! You are doing that the wrong way! Let us help you!"
In the next second I was turned on my back still lying on Touya's lap and stared at the two pairs of hands as they proceeded to swiftly remove my remaining clothing. Even the socks. And I could only watch with horror as an enthusiastic looking Waya fumbled with my underwear. In the meantime Touya was absently stroking my hair and face then after my shirt vanished he draw small, sensual loops on my bare chest with a finger, slowly encircling one of my swiftly hardening nipples.
So when my pants were also gone, they revealed a twitching hard-on, one that's twin I could feel under my neck through the soft material of Touya's underpants. "Haa! Stop that!" I could barely stammer out a few words but no one had seemed to pay attention to me.
"Wow!" I could hear Waya's amazed words. "He _really_ does like men after all!"
Touya shook out from his reverie and looked dazzled at Waya then followed the other man's glance down to my middle region. I could hear his surprised gasp and I decided that I had enough.
With a fast yank I succeeded in freeing myself from between Touya's arms and pulled up to a sitting position, desperately grabbing the next best piece of cloth keeping it in front of my groin to conceal my nakedness. Unfortunately it was a very tiny piece.
Surprisingly, Touya came to my help and stepped before me.
"So what if he likes men? Don’t you jump into conclusions just by that little fact! I know what you think, but we truly are simple friends and nothing more! It doesn’t mean anything deeper that we are living together, so please; don’t read more into our friendship than it really is! You have no reason to dislike him for!" I heard him say and saw the expressions on my friends face slowly change into a serious concern.
"Who said, we dislike him?" Isumi stepped closer, a frown knotting his brows. "Or you? Or anyone…"
Touya averted his gaze. "I just thought you were teasing us because of it… and most people do dislike… homos. Like me…"
Waya snorted and rolled his eyes. "Hikaru!" he practically wailed. "Could it be that he doesn’t know it?"
I shuddered lightly. "If you haven’t told him… How could he?"
"Know what?" Touya asked in a puzzled tone, looking straight at the now snickering Waya.
He didn’t take the trouble of long explanations, only showed his arm around Isumi's waist, pulling him close and then tilted him in his embrace like a waltz dancer does with his partner and kissed him passionately and long enough to draw embarrassed coughs from Touya's lips. But neither of them seemed to notice.
Touya turned to me, face heated and I wasn’t entirely sure whether it was caused by embarrassment or by arousal at this sight. So what! It had quite an effect on me as well - along with the fact that Touya's bare skin was constantly rubbing at mine and he even slipped an arm on my hips unconsciously; I felt his slightly twitching fingers scraping on my rear. I mentioned before that I didn’t consider myself gay. My consideration was strongly wavering at that moment though.
At least Isumi straightened himself and pulled away from Waya, his eyes glassy. He panted intensely. Waya didn’t seem to have that problem although the considerable tenting of his boxers indicated that he got caught in the moment as well.
"What about we join you two tonight?" he asked grinning in a lightly manner, but his voice sounded low-pitched and husky. "Or maybe you could join us?"
I felt Touya tensing against me and he turned his head to avert his gaze of my two friends. I was the only one who could see the fear that crossed his features. But there were also lust and unsatisfied need pictured on them. I felt my face harden and my jaw clenching along with a lump building in my throat at the unexplainable need of getting Touya the furthest possible away from the two. I shook my head firmly and gripped his shoulders possessively, pulling his trembling body to my heated skin.
"You can have my room." I stated simply, my voice cracking, then started to tug Touya by his arm into the comforting solitude of his bedroom. He just let me, no protesting, no reaction at all. That was until he heard the door clicking closed. Then the next thing I knew that he was latched on me, desperately clinging to my body, nearly toppling over both of us, his lips pressed hard onto mine in a frantic, rushing-demanding kiss, that seared my lips like molten lava.
I returned it just as fervently, soon deepening it; I let his tongue evade my mouth, ravishing me, like there were no tomorrow. We stumbled together to his unmade futon and thumped onto it with me on the bottom and his body's weight trapping me, pinning me down. But I wasn’t intent on getting out.
It felt like a little crack (inflicted by the alcohol) on a heavy dam in our mind caused the whole construction to fall apart and the roaming torrent swept every logical thought and consideration away casting destructive emotions free and leaving pure instincts in control of the situation.
Soon his hands begun wandering, groping, touching, stroking and trailing ignited prints along my skin. I felt his weight lighten on my trunk and he resumed kissing my throat; his tongue drew slow, hot, wet runes upon my torso, limbs, tights, which were magically charging my flesh with prickling electricity and made my mind blow away. I could only lie in a shivering paralysis and feel him all over me. If my mind would have been working normally, I could have told that it was not comparable to anything I felt ever before. So much more intense, erotic and sensual, that I was completely lost in the flood of passion unable to achieve even only so much as lifting a hand. I was entirely out of control and completely submitted to him. Not that I minded.
I could hear only my heavy panting, the thumping of my heart and the wet, smooching, sounds caused by his fiery kisses. Then I felt a warm, moist tongue running along the length of my neglected hardness and my body became just as rigid and trembling as the teased part itself. Low growls begun to erupt from my throat as a hot wetness encircled my throbbing erection, and it felt like my body were reduced to only that one region. I was sucked down before several times, more than I could count, but I couldn’t remember ever feeling like that! I didn’t last long, came hard into his mouth, the spasms of my body lasting long after the blissful shock. It was just when they subsided completely that I realized the softly stroking fingers deeply embedded in my body! I must have clenched my muscles in alarm because I felt them withdrawing slowly, carefully, leaving behind an awkward emptiness in me.
And then I realized that though I was completely satisfied, he only concentrated on me and left himself abandoned. I was ashamed. And I wanted to give him something to compete with the sensations I experienced through him. I wanted him to feel real good; I wanted to see his face in the throes of passion, knowing that I was the one inflicting that upon him.
"I want you so much!" I heard his wistful sigh and the implication reverberated in my body, strangely not in an unwelcome way.
"I am yours." I managed to mutter hoarsely. "Whatever you want…" it sounded like something that I have forgotten long ago.
I heard a choking sound and I realized that he is sobbing. It scared me.
I rushed to shift my body to clench him into a tight embrace that I intended to be for his comfort. But he only started to whimper more fervently and his tears flow unrestrained as his body shook with the tremor of some emotion. "What's wrong?" I dared to ask.
He sobbed. "…'m useless." he muttered weakly.
"What?" was the only thing I managed out.
"I cannot, because of the disease in my body. I am so stained!" he muffled into the hollow of my throat. I began to stroke his soft hair and thought hard. I haven’t thought about that before! And it scared me. And I was grateful that he didn’t forget that even in this state. I stiffened myself.
"You aren’t stained, it's only a virus, it will go away." I said firmly, leaving him no space to protest. I gulped and tried not to tremble when I said the part I found much more difficult to say. "So… don’t worry, we can use a condom."
He looked at me with wide, tear-drenched eyes. "I don’t have any…"
I smiled reassuringly. "I always keep some reservoir in… my room…"
He hung his head, returning my smile sadly. "I am so useless!" he snickered sarcastically. "And I wanted it to be perfect for the first time…" I'd have hated to remind him on the fact that wouldn’t be our 'first time'.
"It's not perfection that makes things feel good or people happy. I don’t need perfection. All I need is…" I fell silent, not entirely sure what I wanted to tell him just then.
"What?" he said when I didn’t continue. I shook my head like I wanted to shake off a cobweb.
I felt a smile creeping on my face. "It was pretty one-sided, don’t you think?" I tightened my embrace and slowly guided him to lie down on the futon this time pinning him under my weight. I kissed his mouth slowly, tenderly, feeling the barely subsided passion sneaking back, settling high and low in my throat and guts, like hot, burning twin stars forming in my universe, circling around a strong gravity field, like a black hole (Ugh! I know, I know! Blame it on the alcohol!) that pulled them onto himself, erupting hot plasma that clouded the vision and heated the space in between.
"Now it's my turn!" I whispered into his ear along with my tongue lapping gently on the delicate lobes.
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When I woke up next day, he was still sleeping. Unlike him, I thought, because he always got up first. His face was peaceful. I considered waking him, but in the end I let him sleep in a bit more. When I stretched, my body felt sore - surely from sleeping on a futon - and I had a hell of a headache. I figured I wouldn’t get down anything into my stomach either. I noticed that I was naked and when I lifted the blanket to get up, it revealed that Touya did have just as much cloths on. On the sight of his pale body, memories from last night came back and I felt my body reacting, remembering the warm smoothness of that skin. Hell! I haven’t ever felt like that after waking up next to a woman!
But I didn’t want to think about that right then, so I shook my head like I could shake out the disturbing thoughts from my mind, and covered his sleeping form with the blanket, tugging the rims gently under his body to keep him warm.
I got out to the kitchen and met Isumi. I heard Waya out of the bath, the choking and coughing voices made clear that he wasn’t in the best shape. Isumi seemed to behave better for he was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee he helped himself to. He indicated me to have a cup for myself and sit down. I poured the hot, dark liquid and decided to leave it black for the mild nausea building in my guts.
When I sat down, Isumi smiled at me with an omniscient smirk but didn’t say anything. After a couple of seconds when I was adequately annoyed with him, I blunted out.
"What?!"
He snickered a little. "I didn’t know, you were such a Romeo!" he said. I choked on my coffee but surprisingly, when I spoke, my voice sounded steady and calm enough.
"Well, I didn’t want you two to put your dirty paws on him. But that doesn’t mean that anything happened…"
He snickered again. "Walls are not thick in this apartment."
'So what?' I thought and shrugged. "You're the one to speak! Like you were leading a chaste life!"
He shook his head. "I didn’t say it's wrong. It's the opposite, I am glad you've finally came to your senses."
"I don’t want to speak about that just now!" I said a little confused and lifted a hand to my temple as the throbbing under my skull intensified. I sighed heavily and contemplated if I should take an aspirin. Then I did.
Meanwhile the bath was freed and a wobbling Waya took my emptied place at the table.
"Could you do me a favor?" I asked them. "I have to go to an appointment soon. I would be thankful, if you could stay until Touya wakes up and make him eat. After that you can stay as long as you want, even go back to sleep a little…" at this I looked at Waya. He didn’t seem to notice that.
"We will take care of him, don’t worry." Isumi reassured me. I nodded and went to the bath to take a shower and brush my teeth then into my room to get dressed.
I had a tutoring at a house of a rich family who had a 14 years old daughter. She spent her entire life in a wheelchair and didn’t go to school, had any kinds of tutors. She looked so small, like she were eleven or twelve, but her mind was exceptionally sharp. It began as an obligatory job teaching a beginner from the ground level, that I thought I would find boring and troublesome, because rich little girls seldom have any skill and dedication to Go, they only used to have dedication to my person so far. And her father was the boss of my mom, so I had to accept the job, at least temporary. That’s how I started teaching her Go two months ago. Surprisingly she took the game seriously and was becoming quite good in it, so after that two months she only needed a handicap of five stones against me, an 8-dan. For that matter her name was Noriko.
We played shidougo two times then she said she needed a break. She ordered beverages from the maid for both of us and while we were waiting for her to bring them, she pulled out a newspaper from a drawer. She wheeled to me the paper on her lap and I saw a picture of Touya on the top page.
"Isn't that your friend?" she asked pointing on it. I nodded and could barely restrain myself from snatching the paper from her lap to be able to read the article. She gave it to me along with the words: "I am sorry for him, I didn’t know what really happened to him, when I read weeks ago that he had been attacked."
Those words marred into my mind and I took the paper into my shaking hands and swiftly started to read.
<TOUYA AKIRA'S ATTACKER FOUND AND ARRESTED!
The police found K. Yoshi one of the attackers of Touya Akira, famous go player. Touya was assailed by several men for a couple of weeks. What wasn’t revealed that time that he was also raped by them, and then left with a bleeding wound on his head in an alley. K. Yoshi, one of the perpetrators was caught during a similar crime only this time without his accomplices. Touya hasn’t made a formal denunciation against his attackers but K. Yoshi will be sentenced for sure for the other crime he committed. >
The paper was of yesterday's date and the article wasn’t on the first page, but I knew it meant nothing good.
I looked up with slightly blurred vision and she crooked a brow indulgently, like she knew what I was thinking about. She observed me during I read the article so I think she could get a very clear picture.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go! Thank you for showing me this article." I got up and wasn’t waiting for her answer. I knew I was rude and that I shouldn’t make her upset, but I simply couldn’t concentrate on being polite after I read that.
I ran from the house and cursed that I didn’t have a car for I had to take the train back to the city and I knew I would be terribly late for Touya. I sprinted to the train station and cursed again when I saw that the next train would arrive in half an hour and leave twenty minutes after that. My breathing slowed down after a while and my mind was able to produce logical thoughts once again.
I seized my cell phone and dialed his number but the central said it wasn’t available at the moment. He must have turned it off. Then I called our home number but the line seemed to be busy. I walked up and down till I waited and somehow I ended at the frontage of a domestic ware shop and my gaze caught the picture of a TV-screen with Touya on it in a ring of reporters. The word 'live' was printed on the upper right corner.
I ran into the shop and begged the owner to let me see and hear the broadcast of Channel # and thank God I didn’t have to get aggressive (for I would have for sure if he wouldn’t have said yes) since he was watching it before I got in. He didn’t have any customers so he agreed to turn up the sound for me to hear.
I saw Touya like I sad before in the ring of reporters, whose expressions were greedy and mocking. He himself was pale but firm. I think only few people, who knew him closer, like me, could have told that he wasn’t that calm like he seemed to be. The tiny spasms of his mouth and the clenched fists indicated that the mask of his professional appearance was indeed about to break. I was wishing in that moment that I could be with him side by side. That I haven’t left him alone that morning.
The reporters were trying to squeeze out of him something, they were aggressive and it seemed that the 'interview' went like this for several minutes now. I couldn’t even guess since how long did he have to endure the molesting questioning.
<<Touya-san! According to the testimony of several witnesses, you were involved in several of these 'affairs'. Now you still deny that you were accusing that man with false crimes?>>
<<I wasn’t accusing anyone.>> That was his voice, quiet and seemingly calm amidst the loud yells and protests of the crowd of reporters and observing passer-bys. At that moment the camera zoomed out and I recognized the location: it was the little square before our apartment building. After his comment arose uproar.
<<You deny you live a sinful life? >> <<Hypocrite! >> <<Fag! >> <<Shameless! >> They called him names. My heart did skip a beat hearing the spiteful words from the crowd, seeing him amidst what seemed like living hell. But he wasn’t that badly shaken I thought he would be, so I figured that it wasn’t the first occurrence of the day for them throwing dirt at him like that.
<<What about Shindo Hikaru? >> a female reporter shrieked against the general commotion. <<Is he your lover? A dirty fag like you? >>
I started. Not because of hearing my name, but to see the utter horror appear on his face. The mask broke. Now he looked scared and intimidated like a little child.
<<No! >> He raised his voice for the first time dropping his calm tone. <<He isn’t like that! He isn’t like me at all! >>
<<He isn’t here to defend you, so obviously he doesn’t want to do anything with you; whether it's true that he is your boyfriend or not. >> a malicious tenor bit in. I felt all blood drained from my face when I heard that. Touya didn’t answer, only hung his head and looked straight on his hands. It was then that I noticed I shook my head vehemently.
Someone took advantage of the general chaos and grabbed Touya by his shoulders tugging him into the building away form the screaming and roaring mass of scandal-hungry reporters and inflamed people. The broadcast continued for a few moments then the channel switched back into the studio.
"I don’t understand people of today! The ancient traditional merits like Go are to be defiled by such low morals! Bloody gay slut!" I heard the owner of the shop cursing and I could barely restrain myself from grabbing his throat and squeezing it till he withdraws his ill-disposed comment. I didn’t say a word, only turned and fled the shop.
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Two hours later I arrived at home. The crowd dispersed by that time and the peace and stillness seemed to belie the hostility of the scene that occurred several hours ago.
I went straight to the front door not caring if a hiding paparazzi took a photo of me. There were more important things I cared about. On my way here I could only play back Touya's change of face when he was confronted with that last statement. He wouldn’t believe that, would he? That I didn’t want to be seen with him because of his past? But I left him without a word this morning, what was that if not cowardice? He thinks perhaps, that I regret what happened last night; that I am ashamed maybe disgusted too. It would be just like him to think that.
I went to the elevator, couldn’t wait for it to arrive at the story and I nearly tore out the door as I wanted to get out the fastest possible. I fumbled with my keys but to my surprise the door wasn’t locked and when I stepped in there was a commotion of people to greet me. With blurry vision I recognized Isumi, Waya, Naze, several other go players, my mom and even Mitani and Akari amidst them.
Most of them were trying to comfort Touya who sat on the couch his face buried in his hands. He looked up when he heard people saying my name. His face was all pale from barely controlled tension and his hair was disheveled. He looked when possible, more vulnerable like I saw him after _those_ nights.
I felt a lump in my throat at his sight and in that moment couldn’t care less what other people thought of me. I ran to him and enfolded him within my arms kneeling before his sitting form. He clutched on me tightly, without a word, and after a second of tranquility he finally let go, his tears broke out, pouring warm, salty drops over my neck.
"I'm there! All will be good!" I whispered into his ear trying to calm him, but I knew, he needs to cry, so I let him.
"It won't be good!" he sobbed. "And now you're also involved… I understand if you don’t want to stay…"
"I don’t care." I answered in an unfaltering voice and now I knew that every word I would say is what I truly meant. "I won't let them hurt you anymore! And I won't ever leave you! Don’t even think about such a ting, because it won't happen!" I exclaimed, somehow still whispering so only he could hear.
He pulled his head back looking at me with large, teary eyes, but now he was smiling slightly. Then he buried his face back in the crook of my neck and stayed there for a long time even after the sobbing subsided.
to be continued
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Author's note: OK, some explanations: in this story I didn’t picture Akira as definitely uke, in fact, he is both uke and seme, because of, well, his personality, I think. The cause of that he was always on bottom before, was that he subconsciously wanted to punish himself and so he choose the role of sub instinctively. One cannot receive punishment when one is in control; it figures, ne?
Chapter 04
Concerning them (part III.)
by Stray
17. 12. 2003
rating: R
Disclaimers: not mine, only fussing around.
Warnings: bad English, angst, heavy OOCness, yaoi hints, pairing: HxA, IxW
CAUTION: RATING IS STRONGLY R because of sexual themes (what? you did wait for it all along!)!!!
BEWARE OF ASTRONOMY!!! T~T
--------------------------------
The dinner was a full success, despite that I cooked it. Even the picky Waya liked it. After done, we opened a bottle of champagne and Isumi gave a toast to 'our new life' with barely camouflaged suggestions that made Touya blush slightly. I was only smiling and taking care to drink enough to be able to stand the innuendo that I predicted to be the recurring topic of the night. After the champagne we opened the bottle of whiskey Waya brought as a present and we drank of our rotund goblets previously used to drink the sparkling wine from. No wonder that our spirits rose abruptly.
After the whisky was half-done, Touya suggested that we could play Go in two-man-teams. Surprisingly everyone accepted the plan since no one had a better idea. I was paired up with Waya and playing against Isumi, so Touya ended up in a match against Waya. The accessories were no problem since both of us had our own tables and stones. And of course the bottle and glasses weren’t too far from our reach either. It started to resemble the parties the three of us used to celebrate only this time without girls and including Touya who awkwardly seemed to blend right in. I didn’t even notice when he opened the second bottle of spirits after the whisky was gone.
Despite that he was just as drunk like the rest of us he won his match when I only maintained to win mine because Isumi was playing like an 8-year-old child.
"I've lost, Hikaru!" Waya complained tipsily after Isumi got the picture that he should have resigned several hands ago and did so.
"Then it's a draw since Shindo won." Touya said gurgling the words.
"That's no fun!" Isumi prompted. "So we cannot punish the losers!"
"But we can…" Touya frowned wanting to prop his chin with his hand but failing to synchronize his body. Next moment he landed on the carpet with a large thud. "Ow!" he gave out a small yell but continued after that like nothing had happened. "Like I said before: we can punish the losers and the punishment will be, that were ever loses will strip down a piece of cloth."
Waya looked dumbfounded. "OK, we will do that. But who lost?"
Touya smiled slyly. "You lost against me and Isumi-san lost against Shindo, but since he was in a team with me and Waya-san was in a team with Shindo, that means all of you lost!" he blurted out.
"Sooo… did you think that all up to be able to see Shindo undressed?" Isumi darted the question at him.
"That includes yourself too." I babbled in with a smug grin on my face before he could answer.
He seemed to think about my statement then nodded slowly. "I wasn’t considering that" he admitted slightly annoyed but then he shrugged and resigned. He started immediately to tug on the rim of his sweater and pulled it down through his head then before anyone could say anything, he opened the zipper of his denim and tugged that also down. In the next minute he sat there only with his pants and socks on. He stared quizzically at our surprised gapes and asked finally: "You want me to take down the rest too?"
I promptly seized his hand already tugging on the waistband of his white boxers, but he pulled back roughly and I lost my balance that resulted in me lying across his lap with my nose just millimeters from the said piece of clothing. I froze but a moment later I heard Isumi laughing softly and saying, "That’s the way to go!" When I turned my head towards the voice I saw the two of them already skillfully divesting the other one out of his garments with practiced movements. And while I could only watch them, with hazy mind I felt two hands wandering towards my belt, yanking free my T-shirt and trying to pull it down roughly across my head.
"Ow! What are you doing Touya?!" I yelled with frustration.
But I didn’t have time to sulk for I immediately heard Waya's voice agreeing with me but not quite how I would have liked to: "Yeah! You are doing that the wrong way! Let us help you!"
In the next second I was turned on my back still lying on Touya's lap and stared at the two pairs of hands as they proceeded to swiftly remove my remaining clothing. Even the socks. And I could only watch with horror as an enthusiastic looking Waya fumbled with my underwear. In the meantime Touya was absently stroking my hair and face then after my shirt vanished he draw small, sensual loops on my bare chest with a finger, slowly encircling one of my swiftly hardening nipples.
So when my pants were also gone, they revealed a twitching hard-on, one that's twin I could feel under my neck through the soft material of Touya's underpants. "Haa! Stop that!" I could barely stammer out a few words but no one had seemed to pay attention to me.
"Wow!" I could hear Waya's amazed words. "He _really_ does like men after all!"
Touya shook out from his reverie and looked dazzled at Waya then followed the other man's glance down to my middle region. I could hear his surprised gasp and I decided that I had enough.
With a fast yank I succeeded in freeing myself from between Touya's arms and pulled up to a sitting position, desperately grabbing the next best piece of cloth keeping it in front of my groin to conceal my nakedness. Unfortunately it was a very tiny piece.
Surprisingly, Touya came to my help and stepped before me.
"So what if he likes men? Don’t you jump into conclusions just by that little fact! I know what you think, but we truly are simple friends and nothing more! It doesn’t mean anything deeper that we are living together, so please; don’t read more into our friendship than it really is! You have no reason to dislike him for!" I heard him say and saw the expressions on my friends face slowly change into a serious concern.
"Who said, we dislike him?" Isumi stepped closer, a frown knotting his brows. "Or you? Or anyone…"
Touya averted his gaze. "I just thought you were teasing us because of it… and most people do dislike… homos. Like me…"
Waya snorted and rolled his eyes. "Hikaru!" he practically wailed. "Could it be that he doesn’t know it?"
I shuddered lightly. "If you haven’t told him… How could he?"
"Know what?" Touya asked in a puzzled tone, looking straight at the now snickering Waya.
He didn’t take the trouble of long explanations, only showed his arm around Isumi's waist, pulling him close and then tilted him in his embrace like a waltz dancer does with his partner and kissed him passionately and long enough to draw embarrassed coughs from Touya's lips. But neither of them seemed to notice.
Touya turned to me, face heated and I wasn’t entirely sure whether it was caused by embarrassment or by arousal at this sight. So what! It had quite an effect on me as well - along with the fact that Touya's bare skin was constantly rubbing at mine and he even slipped an arm on my hips unconsciously; I felt his slightly twitching fingers scraping on my rear. I mentioned before that I didn’t consider myself gay. My consideration was strongly wavering at that moment though.
At least Isumi straightened himself and pulled away from Waya, his eyes glassy. He panted intensely. Waya didn’t seem to have that problem although the considerable tenting of his boxers indicated that he got caught in the moment as well.
"What about we join you two tonight?" he asked grinning in a lightly manner, but his voice sounded low-pitched and husky. "Or maybe you could join us?"
I felt Touya tensing against me and he turned his head to avert his gaze of my two friends. I was the only one who could see the fear that crossed his features. But there were also lust and unsatisfied need pictured on them. I felt my face harden and my jaw clenching along with a lump building in my throat at the unexplainable need of getting Touya the furthest possible away from the two. I shook my head firmly and gripped his shoulders possessively, pulling his trembling body to my heated skin.
"You can have my room." I stated simply, my voice cracking, then started to tug Touya by his arm into the comforting solitude of his bedroom. He just let me, no protesting, no reaction at all. That was until he heard the door clicking closed. Then the next thing I knew that he was latched on me, desperately clinging to my body, nearly toppling over both of us, his lips pressed hard onto mine in a frantic, rushing-demanding kiss, that seared my lips like molten lava.
I returned it just as fervently, soon deepening it; I let his tongue evade my mouth, ravishing me, like there were no tomorrow. We stumbled together to his unmade futon and thumped onto it with me on the bottom and his body's weight trapping me, pinning me down. But I wasn’t intent on getting out.
It felt like a little crack (inflicted by the alcohol) on a heavy dam in our mind caused the whole construction to fall apart and the roaming torrent swept every logical thought and consideration away casting destructive emotions free and leaving pure instincts in control of the situation.
Soon his hands begun wandering, groping, touching, stroking and trailing ignited prints along my skin. I felt his weight lighten on my trunk and he resumed kissing my throat; his tongue drew slow, hot, wet runes upon my torso, limbs, tights, which were magically charging my flesh with prickling electricity and made my mind blow away. I could only lie in a shivering paralysis and feel him all over me. If my mind would have been working normally, I could have told that it was not comparable to anything I felt ever before. So much more intense, erotic and sensual, that I was completely lost in the flood of passion unable to achieve even only so much as lifting a hand. I was entirely out of control and completely submitted to him. Not that I minded.
I could hear only my heavy panting, the thumping of my heart and the wet, smooching, sounds caused by his fiery kisses. Then I felt a warm, moist tongue running along the length of my neglected hardness and my body became just as rigid and trembling as the teased part itself. Low growls begun to erupt from my throat as a hot wetness encircled my throbbing erection, and it felt like my body were reduced to only that one region. I was sucked down before several times, more than I could count, but I couldn’t remember ever feeling like that! I didn’t last long, came hard into his mouth, the spasms of my body lasting long after the blissful shock. It was just when they subsided completely that I realized the softly stroking fingers deeply embedded in my body! I must have clenched my muscles in alarm because I felt them withdrawing slowly, carefully, leaving behind an awkward emptiness in me.
And then I realized that though I was completely satisfied, he only concentrated on me and left himself abandoned. I was ashamed. And I wanted to give him something to compete with the sensations I experienced through him. I wanted him to feel real good; I wanted to see his face in the throes of passion, knowing that I was the one inflicting that upon him.
"I want you so much!" I heard his wistful sigh and the implication reverberated in my body, strangely not in an unwelcome way.
"I am yours." I managed to mutter hoarsely. "Whatever you want…" it sounded like something that I have forgotten long ago.
I heard a choking sound and I realized that he is sobbing. It scared me.
I rushed to shift my body to clench him into a tight embrace that I intended to be for his comfort. But he only started to whimper more fervently and his tears flow unrestrained as his body shook with the tremor of some emotion. "What's wrong?" I dared to ask.
He sobbed. "…'m useless." he muttered weakly.
"What?" was the only thing I managed out.
"I cannot, because of the disease in my body. I am so stained!" he muffled into the hollow of my throat. I began to stroke his soft hair and thought hard. I haven’t thought about that before! And it scared me. And I was grateful that he didn’t forget that even in this state. I stiffened myself.
"You aren’t stained, it's only a virus, it will go away." I said firmly, leaving him no space to protest. I gulped and tried not to tremble when I said the part I found much more difficult to say. "So… don’t worry, we can use a condom."
He looked at me with wide, tear-drenched eyes. "I don’t have any…"
I smiled reassuringly. "I always keep some reservoir in… my room…"
He hung his head, returning my smile sadly. "I am so useless!" he snickered sarcastically. "And I wanted it to be perfect for the first time…" I'd have hated to remind him on the fact that wouldn’t be our 'first time'.
"It's not perfection that makes things feel good or people happy. I don’t need perfection. All I need is…" I fell silent, not entirely sure what I wanted to tell him just then.
"What?" he said when I didn’t continue. I shook my head like I wanted to shake off a cobweb.
I felt a smile creeping on my face. "It was pretty one-sided, don’t you think?" I tightened my embrace and slowly guided him to lie down on the futon this time pinning him under my weight. I kissed his mouth slowly, tenderly, feeling the barely subsided passion sneaking back, settling high and low in my throat and guts, like hot, burning twin stars forming in my universe, circling around a strong gravity field, like a black hole (Ugh! I know, I know! Blame it on the alcohol!) that pulled them onto himself, erupting hot plasma that clouded the vision and heated the space in between.
"Now it's my turn!" I whispered into his ear along with my tongue lapping gently on the delicate lobes.
----------------
When I woke up next day, he was still sleeping. Unlike him, I thought, because he always got up first. His face was peaceful. I considered waking him, but in the end I let him sleep in a bit more. When I stretched, my body felt sore - surely from sleeping on a futon - and I had a hell of a headache. I figured I wouldn’t get down anything into my stomach either. I noticed that I was naked and when I lifted the blanket to get up, it revealed that Touya did have just as much cloths on. On the sight of his pale body, memories from last night came back and I felt my body reacting, remembering the warm smoothness of that skin. Hell! I haven’t ever felt like that after waking up next to a woman!
But I didn’t want to think about that right then, so I shook my head like I could shake out the disturbing thoughts from my mind, and covered his sleeping form with the blanket, tugging the rims gently under his body to keep him warm.
I got out to the kitchen and met Isumi. I heard Waya out of the bath, the choking and coughing voices made clear that he wasn’t in the best shape. Isumi seemed to behave better for he was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee he helped himself to. He indicated me to have a cup for myself and sit down. I poured the hot, dark liquid and decided to leave it black for the mild nausea building in my guts.
When I sat down, Isumi smiled at me with an omniscient smirk but didn’t say anything. After a couple of seconds when I was adequately annoyed with him, I blunted out.
"What?!"
He snickered a little. "I didn’t know, you were such a Romeo!" he said. I choked on my coffee but surprisingly, when I spoke, my voice sounded steady and calm enough.
"Well, I didn’t want you two to put your dirty paws on him. But that doesn’t mean that anything happened…"
He snickered again. "Walls are not thick in this apartment."
'So what?' I thought and shrugged. "You're the one to speak! Like you were leading a chaste life!"
He shook his head. "I didn’t say it's wrong. It's the opposite, I am glad you've finally came to your senses."
"I don’t want to speak about that just now!" I said a little confused and lifted a hand to my temple as the throbbing under my skull intensified. I sighed heavily and contemplated if I should take an aspirin. Then I did.
Meanwhile the bath was freed and a wobbling Waya took my emptied place at the table.
"Could you do me a favor?" I asked them. "I have to go to an appointment soon. I would be thankful, if you could stay until Touya wakes up and make him eat. After that you can stay as long as you want, even go back to sleep a little…" at this I looked at Waya. He didn’t seem to notice that.
"We will take care of him, don’t worry." Isumi reassured me. I nodded and went to the bath to take a shower and brush my teeth then into my room to get dressed.
I had a tutoring at a house of a rich family who had a 14 years old daughter. She spent her entire life in a wheelchair and didn’t go to school, had any kinds of tutors. She looked so small, like she were eleven or twelve, but her mind was exceptionally sharp. It began as an obligatory job teaching a beginner from the ground level, that I thought I would find boring and troublesome, because rich little girls seldom have any skill and dedication to Go, they only used to have dedication to my person so far. And her father was the boss of my mom, so I had to accept the job, at least temporary. That’s how I started teaching her Go two months ago. Surprisingly she took the game seriously and was becoming quite good in it, so after that two months she only needed a handicap of five stones against me, an 8-dan. For that matter her name was Noriko.
We played shidougo two times then she said she needed a break. She ordered beverages from the maid for both of us and while we were waiting for her to bring them, she pulled out a newspaper from a drawer. She wheeled to me the paper on her lap and I saw a picture of Touya on the top page.
"Isn't that your friend?" she asked pointing on it. I nodded and could barely restrain myself from snatching the paper from her lap to be able to read the article. She gave it to me along with the words: "I am sorry for him, I didn’t know what really happened to him, when I read weeks ago that he had been attacked."
Those words marred into my mind and I took the paper into my shaking hands and swiftly started to read.
<TOUYA AKIRA'S ATTACKER FOUND AND ARRESTED!
The police found K. Yoshi one of the attackers of Touya Akira, famous go player. Touya was assailed by several men for a couple of weeks. What wasn’t revealed that time that he was also raped by them, and then left with a bleeding wound on his head in an alley. K. Yoshi, one of the perpetrators was caught during a similar crime only this time without his accomplices. Touya hasn’t made a formal denunciation against his attackers but K. Yoshi will be sentenced for sure for the other crime he committed. >
The paper was of yesterday's date and the article wasn’t on the first page, but I knew it meant nothing good.
I looked up with slightly blurred vision and she crooked a brow indulgently, like she knew what I was thinking about. She observed me during I read the article so I think she could get a very clear picture.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go! Thank you for showing me this article." I got up and wasn’t waiting for her answer. I knew I was rude and that I shouldn’t make her upset, but I simply couldn’t concentrate on being polite after I read that.
I ran from the house and cursed that I didn’t have a car for I had to take the train back to the city and I knew I would be terribly late for Touya. I sprinted to the train station and cursed again when I saw that the next train would arrive in half an hour and leave twenty minutes after that. My breathing slowed down after a while and my mind was able to produce logical thoughts once again.
I seized my cell phone and dialed his number but the central said it wasn’t available at the moment. He must have turned it off. Then I called our home number but the line seemed to be busy. I walked up and down till I waited and somehow I ended at the frontage of a domestic ware shop and my gaze caught the picture of a TV-screen with Touya on it in a ring of reporters. The word 'live' was printed on the upper right corner.
I ran into the shop and begged the owner to let me see and hear the broadcast of Channel # and thank God I didn’t have to get aggressive (for I would have for sure if he wouldn’t have said yes) since he was watching it before I got in. He didn’t have any customers so he agreed to turn up the sound for me to hear.
I saw Touya like I sad before in the ring of reporters, whose expressions were greedy and mocking. He himself was pale but firm. I think only few people, who knew him closer, like me, could have told that he wasn’t that calm like he seemed to be. The tiny spasms of his mouth and the clenched fists indicated that the mask of his professional appearance was indeed about to break. I was wishing in that moment that I could be with him side by side. That I haven’t left him alone that morning.
The reporters were trying to squeeze out of him something, they were aggressive and it seemed that the 'interview' went like this for several minutes now. I couldn’t even guess since how long did he have to endure the molesting questioning.
<<Touya-san! According to the testimony of several witnesses, you were involved in several of these 'affairs'. Now you still deny that you were accusing that man with false crimes?>>
<<I wasn’t accusing anyone.>> That was his voice, quiet and seemingly calm amidst the loud yells and protests of the crowd of reporters and observing passer-bys. At that moment the camera zoomed out and I recognized the location: it was the little square before our apartment building. After his comment arose uproar.
<<You deny you live a sinful life? >> <<Hypocrite! >> <<Fag! >> <<Shameless! >> They called him names. My heart did skip a beat hearing the spiteful words from the crowd, seeing him amidst what seemed like living hell. But he wasn’t that badly shaken I thought he would be, so I figured that it wasn’t the first occurrence of the day for them throwing dirt at him like that.
<<What about Shindo Hikaru? >> a female reporter shrieked against the general commotion. <<Is he your lover? A dirty fag like you? >>
I started. Not because of hearing my name, but to see the utter horror appear on his face. The mask broke. Now he looked scared and intimidated like a little child.
<<No! >> He raised his voice for the first time dropping his calm tone. <<He isn’t like that! He isn’t like me at all! >>
<<He isn’t here to defend you, so obviously he doesn’t want to do anything with you; whether it's true that he is your boyfriend or not. >> a malicious tenor bit in. I felt all blood drained from my face when I heard that. Touya didn’t answer, only hung his head and looked straight on his hands. It was then that I noticed I shook my head vehemently.
Someone took advantage of the general chaos and grabbed Touya by his shoulders tugging him into the building away form the screaming and roaring mass of scandal-hungry reporters and inflamed people. The broadcast continued for a few moments then the channel switched back into the studio.
"I don’t understand people of today! The ancient traditional merits like Go are to be defiled by such low morals! Bloody gay slut!" I heard the owner of the shop cursing and I could barely restrain myself from grabbing his throat and squeezing it till he withdraws his ill-disposed comment. I didn’t say a word, only turned and fled the shop.
----------
Two hours later I arrived at home. The crowd dispersed by that time and the peace and stillness seemed to belie the hostility of the scene that occurred several hours ago.
I went straight to the front door not caring if a hiding paparazzi took a photo of me. There were more important things I cared about. On my way here I could only play back Touya's change of face when he was confronted with that last statement. He wouldn’t believe that, would he? That I didn’t want to be seen with him because of his past? But I left him without a word this morning, what was that if not cowardice? He thinks perhaps, that I regret what happened last night; that I am ashamed maybe disgusted too. It would be just like him to think that.
I went to the elevator, couldn’t wait for it to arrive at the story and I nearly tore out the door as I wanted to get out the fastest possible. I fumbled with my keys but to my surprise the door wasn’t locked and when I stepped in there was a commotion of people to greet me. With blurry vision I recognized Isumi, Waya, Naze, several other go players, my mom and even Mitani and Akari amidst them.
Most of them were trying to comfort Touya who sat on the couch his face buried in his hands. He looked up when he heard people saying my name. His face was all pale from barely controlled tension and his hair was disheveled. He looked when possible, more vulnerable like I saw him after _those_ nights.
I felt a lump in my throat at his sight and in that moment couldn’t care less what other people thought of me. I ran to him and enfolded him within my arms kneeling before his sitting form. He clutched on me tightly, without a word, and after a second of tranquility he finally let go, his tears broke out, pouring warm, salty drops over my neck.
"I'm there! All will be good!" I whispered into his ear trying to calm him, but I knew, he needs to cry, so I let him.
"It won't be good!" he sobbed. "And now you're also involved… I understand if you don’t want to stay…"
"I don’t care." I answered in an unfaltering voice and now I knew that every word I would say is what I truly meant. "I won't let them hurt you anymore! And I won't ever leave you! Don’t even think about such a ting, because it won't happen!" I exclaimed, somehow still whispering so only he could hear.
He pulled his head back looking at me with large, teary eyes, but now he was smiling slightly. Then he buried his face back in the crook of my neck and stayed there for a long time even after the sobbing subsided.
to be continued
--------------------------------
Author's note: OK, some explanations: in this story I didn’t picture Akira as definitely uke, in fact, he is both uke and seme, because of, well, his personality, I think. The cause of that he was always on bottom before, was that he subconsciously wanted to punish himself and so he choose the role of sub instinctively. One cannot receive punishment when one is in control; it figures, ne?