InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ Fiel--- WHAT? Exams already!? ( Chapter 16 )

Where have I been for the last three weeks? Italy! I'm sorry, I haven't been able to get a computer + check email or anything there though.

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The demonic voice was coming from the ceiling, Cait deduced at last. Where the ceiling was, though, that was another story. The room they were in was the most strangely made room she had ever seen, and that was understating it. The ceiling was nowhere in sight, instead, the room extended in dark blue fading to black for as far as Cait could see. There was only one wall in sight, and no one was about to go out in the dark and look for more. The only light she could see was coming from the wall. Strange...

Talk about strange. Suddenly, the wall burst into pictures and color. Everyone screamed very, very loudly for a very, very long time.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAaaa-------" The scream tapered off as a familiar face filled the screen. Two very familiar faces. Two very familiar furry faces. Soon everyone was staring at the screen.

"Meeeeoooooooooooow... you are all VERY bad students." The face Mao Mo Lin, the cat demon, filled the screen. Another meow came from Kotatsu Neko and made a silly smile at the students.

"You've written fanfics that are not fit to shine the shoes of an alley cat with. Now you'll get to see for yourself... just HOW bad they are... Nyehehehe... myow...." Mao Mo Lin finished talking and left the screen-like-wall with Kotatsu Neko.

A screen was the only way Cait could think to name the wall that had suddenly lit up and was now showing pictures and sound. Students were even sitting down to watch, and someone had brought popcorn, so that was being passed around too. It looked like a movie was about to start, for the screen-like-wall had gone dark. The room was dark, except for the little grey light the screen emitted. Suddenly it fizzled, and lit up.

A picture of Kagome in Sango, dressed in Japanese school uniforms. They were carrying their book bags, and talking to each other with valley girl accents.

'So, Kagome, like, how did you date with that boy go last night? His name was, like, you know, Inuyasha or something?' Sango reapplied layers of purple lipstick as she talked.

'Oh it was, like, pretty fun, no s-t, but I think I might have, like, had fun with that, you know, boy in our science class, like, his name's Kouga? Or maybe that, like, Hojo, f-k it.' Kagome twirled her hair and sighed.

The large group of students were staring blankly at the screen. "Haven't I written a fic like that?" half the group murmured at the same time. They looked at each other, startled, then backed away slowly. "I wrote it, not you!" They yelped again.

The characters on screen sat down in school desks, taking out books. Sango fixed her hair again, before putting it in a very curly ponytail which looked like it had been streaked at least twice.

'Kagome, I bet you can't, like, get him into bed in like, less than a week.'

'Sango! Why the f-k is you, like, talking like that?' Kagome flipped her hair back girlishly.

'Don't ask me. Like, why would I care if you trick him? I'm just saying this s-tty a-s lines cuz some self-titled 'writer' is a total, you know, dumbf-k! Who the hell reads this s-t? Why do I have to keep swearing and saying 'like' and 'you know?' It's one of your faults. MAKE IT STOP! ARGH!!!'

Sango and Kagome collapsed against the side of the wall, shivering in agony, then burst into flames and blew up.

Everyone stared blandly at the screen. Who would write such a horrible fic that it made the characters spontaneously combust?

The scene changed again. It was a moonlight night, with Ranma and Akane standing together by themselves, wearing what looked like wedding clothes.

'Akane, my love, now that we have been wed in nuptial glory this very eve, we must now confess the passions which have such drawn us to our union in martial splendor, that is our marriage, thus wrought deep with ties of devotion and forged strong with bonds of amorousness, and now shall be annunciated throughout and all about the heavens, whereas under this pale moonlit summit of our amour, concomitantly we shall now proceed in fond deed together and come together as one, with the consummation of our amour.'

Akane looked up at Ranma with sparkling eyes.

'Ranma, my dear, you have stunned me with your mastery of utterance and clarity, I am struck dumb by your illuminating speech, but all and sundry knows you have the IQ of peanut butter. Perchance if you take the time to... augh!" The two clutched their heads unexpectedly, and blew up in flames.

The students saw many disturbing scenes in that room. It changed again and again. Once there was a scene with Lum and Ataru announcing their love for each other, then Lum's fiancé Rei jumping in and announcing his love for Ataru, then nurse Sakura jumping in and announcing her love for Lum, and the five of them were about to have a huge orgy, until they burst into flames and the screen changed again.

A grassy field was being displayed now. Inuyasha and Sessho-maru were both sitting down, facing each other. It wasn't clear what they were doing... but suddenly Inuyasha called out, "Go, Bulbasaur!" slapping down a card.

Sessho-maru grimaced, then drew from his deck. "Go, Pikachu! Thunder shock!"

"No!" Inuyasha drew, then smiled. "Ivysaur!" He put a card on top of the Bulbasaur. "Vine whip!"

"Whoever wrote this fic, it's the lamest yet." Cait said quietly. Many students were agreeing with her and whispering to each other. "I can't believe that!"

"What fic? This is live!" Mao mo Lin popped onto the screen again.

Sessho-maru and Inuyahsa suddenly noticed the camera. "Hey, cat-boy! What's with the camera?" Inuyasha momentarily abandoned his Pokemon card game to yell at Mao Mo Lin.

Sessho-maru merely glanced over. "You're just trying to get out of this game. Come back, brother, and finish it. Just face it that your pathetic Ivysaur can't stand up to my Raichu." He put down a Raichu on top of the Pikachu.

"Not until I find out why he's taping this..." Inuyasha grabbed Mao Mo Lin by the collar and shook him. "I told no one to disturb us until we were finished the super-stadium-Pokemon-card-game-championship-series!"

Mao Mo Lin whispered into his ear. 'It's live!' He smiled wickedly, then disappeared with a poof.

Inuyasha stared into the camera accusingly. "If I find out who's watching this... I mean... you haven't watched this, got it?" He made a fist threateningly. "You've seen NOTHING here today. You're not going to tell because you've seen NOTHING at all."

Sessho-maru called over. "Hurry up, Inuyasha. Your pathetic Ivysaur is not match for my Raichu. Give up, or do you really want to lose that badly?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Inuyasha scowled, and turned away. Static filled the screen as he crushed the camera.

The super-stadium-Pokemon-card-game-championship-series between Inuyasha and Sessho-maru was all anyone talked about that evening at dinner. Yumi kept trying to get Sessho-maru to play with her, but one swipe of his poison claws got the message across that he did not want to talk about it.

Mao Mo Lin was not a happy kitty that night, especially after Inuyasha stomped on him until he felt the cat demon was sorry enough for showing the students his secret pastime. Sessho-maru had also threatened to decapitate him if he tried it again, so for the next few days, Mao Mo Lin was an emotional wreck.

When Cait got back into her room, she flopped on the bed, exhausted. Pia lay down on her bed too. "That was some field trip, Cait." she said. "I still can't believe I didn't get to go swimming with Mousse."

"He would have been a duck anyway, Pia. Better luck next time." Cait rolled over to go to sleep.

The rest of the week passed quickly. Since the trimester was almost over, most of the class-work was just review. The exam schedules had been posted on a billboard outside dorms, and Cait gasped when she saw them.

"They can't do that to us! We're going to have all our exams on the same day? No fair!" She double-checked the list, just to make sure.

6:15-6:45 - Breakfast

7:00-8:00 - Cooking (Akane)

8:15-9:15 - Archery (Kikyo, Kagome)

9:30-10:30 - Wilderness Orienteering (Ryoga)

10:45-11:15 - Swimsuit designing (Lum)

11:15-11:45 - Fire breathing for amateurs (Ten)

12:00-12:30 - Lunch

12:45-1:45 - Poetry (Kuno)

2:00-3:00 - Crossovers (all)

3:15-4:15 - Japanese spelling (Kaede)

4:30-5:30 - Athletics (Inuyasha, Ranma)

5:45-6:45 - Lingerie modeling (Happosai)

7:00-7:30 - Dinner

7:45-8:45 - Self Insertion or Mary sue? (Cologne)

9:00-10:00 - In character or out of character? (Myoga)

'Whoa.' Cait thought to herself, in shock. 'Twelve exams in one day... and this is just the end of the trimester! I wonder what kind of classes there will be after these?'

"You've seen the schedule?" Kisa appeared next to Cait, nodding toward the list of classes. "This sucks! How can they have so many tests on just one day? Couldn't they spread it out a bit, like one or two a day, or at least three? Our teachers stink."

"Well, they are really just characters," Cait said, "and not very responsible. Except maybe for Kaede, but whatever." She shrugged. "We better start studying. These are Friday!"

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Eugh, I'm starting school Thursday, so expect updates less frequent than normal. :'( So sorry! But I'll keep updating, don't worry. Email kikyosama@fcc.net for more information.