InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ Exam time ( Chapter 19 )

Chapter 19

Cait and Pia woke up to a staff-instated alarm, which squealed "Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Frosted Flakes... they're not just good, they're GREAT! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams! Exams!" very loudly.

It turned out that Inuyasha's new favorite thing from 'the future' was the sugary type of cereal called Frosted Flakes. When Cait went down to breakfast early, as usual, it quickly became evident that all they were having for breakfast was...

"Gosh darn, mother-loving Frosted Flakes! All they're fricking serving is just these mucked up Frosted Flakes! I freaking hate this yucky Frosted Flakes!" Pia griped in a statement which has been heavily censored for the preserving of the PG-13 rating.

Cait poked her third bowl of Frosted Flakes, not at all looking forward to her Cooking exam. Things had gone alright in early-morning breakfast duty, so Cait was hoping she would do well. The reason she was eating so much was because after their cooking exam, she wouldn't have much left in her stomach after ingesting Akane's dishes, so Cait was hoping to get some nutrition beforehand.

"Come in quickly students, you wouldn't like to be late for your exam!" Akane cheerfully welcomed in the kids into the classroom.

"I sure would." Cait mumbled to herself, sitting down in her seat.

The Cooking exam was the first in a long line of head-banging, teeth-grinding, pencil-snapping examinations to take place that day. After the written exam, which involved writing down recipes such as tomato cookies and bacon ice cream from memory, there was the inevitable taste test, all food provided for by practically the worst cook ever, their teacher Akane.

Walking back from class, tongue numb from ingesting things that were not intended for eating, Cait desperately memorized and went over angles and figures for the next exam, Archery, which was taught by Kagome and Kikyo. Kagome had said that if they studied proper alignment of the arrow to the bow and did alright on the shooting part, they would do fine. Kikyo had said that if they didn't memorize every bit of her review sheets and get a bull's eye on every target, they would get miserable marks. You could hardly tell that they shared a soul, they were so different.

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Cait thought her exam went fairly well. Several Kikyo-bashers who had attempted to torch her with a nearby flamethrower had almost certainly gotten F's though. Wilderness Orienteering she had almost certainly aced, since the entire exam was to find your way around the school in less that forty-five minutes. Ryoga had gotten lost six times, and Cait had helped him find his way back, so she had probably gotten extra credit for that.

Cait was halfway through Lum's Swimsuit Designing exam ('Sketch and label three historical bathing suits and briefly describe their us' was the question she was on) when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, and saw Pia's pet Sessho-chan floating in mid-air behind her. It gave out a little 'Meep!' and smiled happily.

Cait put a finger to her lips, shushing it. "Be quiet! You'll get me in trouble!"

No sooner had she said it than Lum called out loudly "Ms. Wilson. You are talking in my exam. Please explain yourself quickly, or you will be removed immediately from this room."

Cait blushed at everyone staring at her. "It was Sessho-chan's fault!"

As soon as she said it, Cherry zoomed up next to her, 'Illegal use of a nickname' slip in hand. "You know not to say that." he said.

"But... I wasn't... it's his name... ARGH!" Cait stammered as the slip stuck itself to her forehead.

Lum had noticed Sessho-chan who had floated over to her desk. "Aww! What a sweetie!" She huggled it as it meeped happily. "Look how adorable it is!"

Cait just watched as her teacher huggled the little meeping Sessho-chan, wondering why she had to wear the 'Illegal use of a nickname' slip anyway. Resuming her exam, Cait grumbled "It's not fair!"

"...and that's why I have an IUON (Illegal Use Of a Nickname) slip stuck top my head, and it's all your fault, Pia!" Cait told her friends at their table that lunch. "If you had only kept your pet Sessho-chan under control, he wouldn't have gotten me in trouble!"

Pia looked blandly at Cait. "Why didn't you just tickle his tummy? That always quiets him down. And it's not my fault he was loose, it was that crazy Yumi's fault!" She looked accusingly over at Yumi.

"What? I didn't do it!" Yumi tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. "All I wanted to do was huggle him for good luck, but he floated away before I could put him back in his rabbit hutch!"

"I never have that problem with my Sesshy. He always agrees to whatever I tell him. Of course, he never does do most of the stuff, he just says 'Yesh' to whatever, but it's still cute." Yuriko said.

The discussion turned to the 'Fire for amateurs' exam they had had just after the swimsuit designing one. Aside from identifying different fire-starting materials (including the now-infamous flamethrower) they had to write an essay on the merits of 'burninating' things, and successfully sustain a bonfire for twenty minutes.

"Next we have the Poetry exam." Cait moaned miserably. "I just hate Kuno's class. He just writes on and on about his 'pig-tailed love,' and makes us write about it too! He's so disgusting."

The Poetry exam didn't go well. Cait thought she could have done better, but she just scribbled down a lot of crap about romance, figuring she might get a C if she was lucky.

Crossovers... that class that every teacher took a turn giving a lecture on. Cait thought the exam was... interesting, at the very least. Every teacher had gotten to write two or three questions themselves, then they were all put together into one big exam. The questions ranged from Ranma's desperate pleas (Explain in one paragraph or more how Ranma has never been attracted to, never had sex with, and never uttered the line 'Ai shiteru' to a Sailor Senshi) to Naraku's confused wonderings (Who is this 'Vegeta' person, and why do I keep fighting him? Same goes with whoever 'Goku' is, you seem to think I have something against these people whom I've never met...). Cait thought she did pretty well on it, though she had entirely skipped Happosai's question. (What are you wearing?)

Kaede's Japanese spelling exam went fairly well. There were easy questions, such as "Circle the correct spelling: Ramna or Ranma?", and hard ones, like "Write the name of Inuyasha's sword (Tetsusaiga) in kanji" Apparently a lot of people couldn't even spell Tetsusaiga in English, either. Some of the answers ranged from "Tetsaiga to "Teitsaeiga". Cait was just glad she could spell, because Kaede made anyone who failed clean the shrine for a week.

Athletics was taught by Inuyasha and Ranma, so more than half the exam was spent by the teachers trying to detach fangirls from themselves. Other than that, the exam was mostly just Inuyasha's obsessive misconceptions about baseball, his new favorite sport beside fangirl hunting (When is it politically correct to ward off fangirls with a baseball bat?) Ranma mainly asked questions about martial arts, so on the whole, Cait think she got a good grade.

Cait and Pia nervously stood outside of Happosai's office. "Do you think we should go in and get it over with?" said Cait.

Pia shook her head."We have to beat him up without harming the exam. If we do as ususal and throw Happosai out the window, we won't get the exam, and that means we'll all FAIL!" upon this thought, Pia walked up to the door.

Suddenly, the door opened from inside. Pia stepped back quickly in shock.

Sango was in the room. She sternly said "I will be accompanying the execution of your test, per the request of too many molested students."

Cait and Pia breathed a sigh of relief. With Sango, a seasoned pervert-basher, to stand guard, Happosai wouldn't try anything. He wasn't that stupid.

Happosai jumped out through the door, attaching himself to the nearest girl's boobs. "Welcome, students, to my exam!"

Sango mashed him to the ground before he could move on. "We told you to clam down!" Happosai reluctantly let go. The exam went fairly well after that.

By dinner, everyone was thoroughly exhausted. Cait was ready to go to sleep right then, but they still had five exams left.

Yuriko counted them lazily on her fingers. "Self Insertion or Mary sue, In character or out of character, Spell-check- Pros and Cons, Anatomy of the slash fic, Nicknames - dos and don'ts. There's only one I really want to take, and that's my beloved Sesshoumaru-sama's exam." The thought of the nicknames exam brightened her up quite a bit.

"I am so tired..." Yumi tried to eat her food (Inuyasha had allowed students to eat something other than Frosted Flakes for dinner, unfortunately that something was called leftover Halloween candy, which made the kids miserable because they had missed trick or treating. Most of them had wanted to go as anime characters.)

The 'Self Insertion or Mary Sue' exam wasn't too bad. Cologne mainly asked questions about creating characters purely to pair them up with your favorite character. Almost all of the students were guilty of writing these, however, so they were not the most self-flattering test answers. One of the main things covered in the test was the difference between Self Insertions and Mary Sues. (Yes, there is one.) Although Self Insertions do frequently become direct get-togethers, Mary Sues are MADE to be. It was important to understand the difference between Original Characters and Mary Sues, some people assumed just because a character is made up makes it a Mary Sue. In reality, Mary Sues are just characters made up for the sole purpose of getting together with a character. Frequently the main bishonen.

'In Character or Out Of Character?' wouldn't have been as hard as it was if they hadn't had a million different teacher off and on during the course. After a while, it was determined that someone was simply not assigned to the class, so after trying to hire substitutes from other manga, the staff had been holding a lottery each week to see who would take the class that week. Naraku had gotten to write it, unfortunately the students had to take carry on the indignation of Naraku, contracted when he had been volunteered by his fellow teachers to do the exam, 'just because he wasn't teaching a class.' That would change next trimester, in which Naraku would test his skills at teaching for the first time. From the looks of the exam, Cait did not want to find out.

'Spell Check-pros and cons' was an easy exam. Besides spelling various difficult words, the only thing they had to do was write an essay about the usage of Spell Check, and how it isn't a substitute for proofreading and revising.

'Anatomy of the slash fic' had been... amusing. Koga, the teacher, had had the misfortune of being paired with almost every character ever created, not to mentioned being portrayed as either a rapist or an abusive boyfriend in all of them. The test was all essays about how various pairings were totally illogical.

It was 12:30 at night, and Cait was beat. "Why did they put ALL the exams on the same day?" she murmured to herself, trying to stay awake while skimming her textbook.

Aoi Ikari, a hanyou between a dog and a human, was still wide awake. "Luckily we only have Sessho-maru's exam left. Nicknames class is easy, at least I would never call a teacher by a nickname."

Yuriko was reading her Nicknames text book attentively. She wanted to do as well on the exam as she could, since Sessho-maru was her favorite teacher. "Ah... Sesshoumaru-sama..." she dreamily sighed, then returned to her work.

The 'Nicknames-dos and don'ts' exam wasn't as hard as Cait had thought. They were given a list of names, and were told to cross off the ones that were unacceptable for use. Some were easy, "Sesshizzle," "Inu-chan," and "Ranko," but some were harder. After the exam, Cait and her friends went promptly to their dorms, too tired to think anymore.

Cait and Pia quickly got into bed, sleepy from the day of exams. 'Goodnight." Cait sleepily mumbled. Sessho-chan was tired too, and curled up in a little ball in his rabbit hutch. Everyone in the dorms was fast asleep.

Somewhere far away (Namely the staff building) teachers were hard at work grading the exams as toughly as possible...

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Next chapter - expect late November/early December