InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ The P.O.O.F.Y. force and Ranma vs. Inuyasha! ( Chapter 21 )

Chapter 21

They were here. The new classes.

Cait was walking back from 'Healing and Treatment of Students' class in the Infirmary. That class was a poor way to make up for the repealing of the 'No hurting students' rule. She was almost scared to go to 'Fire for novices,' the follow-up course to Ten's 'Fire for amateurs,' being taught by Toto-sai.

Right now, Cait and Pia had accounting class. Cait wearily typed numbers into her calculator. Nabiki was teaching 'Accounting' class, which so far mainly consisted of the students being charged for every OOC fic they had written about Nabiki/Kuno or Nabiki/Ranma or Nabiki/Ryoga or Nabiki/whomever. So far the total was pushing ten thousand, but Nabiki insisted that they hadn't finished counting all the scary Tendo sisters Nabiki/Akane/Kasumi threesomes, so the entire class was busy going through the University's computer indexes of fanfics to find them all and add to the total. Cait was bored out of her mind. The whole room was as silent as a teen reading lemons in the middle of the night and hoping their parents don't find out.

In other words, very quiet.

Which, in the Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi, usually meant something was about to happen.

A large bang sounded. The class turned around to what used to be Sarn val ozan's computer. He was covered in a green inky liquid.

Sarn val ozan turned around, trying to look blameless. "What? I didn't do anything!"

Nabiki tried to hide a smile. "Were you trying to post fanfiction?"

"No! I would never! I... maybe..." Sarn val ozan glanced around quickly. "Aw, come on! I've never written any fanfics with you guys before... I was just trying... give me a break... I've been a good student... don't punish me...I ..."

Nabiki's smile widened. She pulled out her staff walkie-talkie. "Nabiki, requesting immediate backup. Code F."

The whole class stared at her. What was she talking about?

Suddenly the door... ceased to exist, as something plowed through it. A giant burst of fire shattered all the windows. A giant *PLOP!* resounded as something dropped through the roof.

As the dust cleared, three figures stood up and hurriedly assembled in the middle of the room, which was currently a mass of fallen ceiling, shattered, class, and pieces of door.

Now that all the smoke had settled, the student could see clearly...

"Ten!"

"Ryoga!"

"Sango!"

They did a silly pose, then shouted together, "The P.O.O.F.Y. force!"

There was a brief silence, then the whole room started laughing.

The P.O.O.F.Y. force blushed. "It stands for Prevention Of Outlawed Fanfiction, Yo..." Sango said quietly.

Everyone just kept laughing. "'Poofy' force! Hahaha..." Reiko was almost crying with laughter. Ten was still in his pose, and was breathing little sparks at the students.

Sango glared, then mumbled to herself "That's the last time I ask Hinako Ninomiya what a good name is. What does 'yo' mean, anyway?"

Ryoga, who had been spending all this time searching under desks for his fellow P.O.O.F.Y. force-mates, finally spotted Sango's and stood up. "I told you that we should have given it a different name!"

Sarn val Ozan, who had been the cause of all this trouble, was trying to sneak out the door unnoticed. Nabiki saw him first.

"Where would you being going?" She grabbed him by the collar.

He turned sheepishly to her. "Umm...bathroom?"

Nabiki shook her head. "Think again." She tossed him over to the members of P.O.O.F.Y. force, who were still arguing if the P.U.F.F.Y. force or the F.L.U.F.F.Y. force would sound cooler.

Ryoga caught the poor student. "Alright! Now that the stupid don't-harm-students law is out, we can finally have some fun!"

Half the class looked around and eyed Ryoga.

He blushed. "Not like that! We're just going to tie him down and..."

The dirty looks got worse. Ryoga was having a fit.

"That's not what I mean! Nooooo!"

Sango tried to explain. "We're just going to punish students for attempting to post Fanfiction while at the University. You know you're not supposed to write until you graduate and get your Fanfiction degree..."

The class seemed to calm down. Ryoga crawled out from behind a curtain. (Unfortunately, for him this meant walking into a nearby potted plant)

"And it's so fun to watch them scream in pain." Sango put in as an after thought.

Cait's eyes bulged. Had she just heard what she thought she had?

Either Sango was into S&M, which Cait highly doubted, or any student who tried to post without their degree was going to be introduced into a whole new world of pain fast.

Ten took a great breath, then with one puff melted every computer in the room with his fiery breath. "There! No more problems! We can go now."

Sango and Ryoga picked up the poor Sarn val Ozan by the legs, and hauled him off out the door.

"Nooooo! Let me go! Come on! I've always been your friend! I've never posted fics! I've been good! This is my first offence! Waah!"

The whole class watched in a stunned silence as their classmate was tugged off to face who-knows-what kind of torture for attempting to post fanfiction.

"Let this be a lesson for you all." Nabiki resumed her seat at her desk, her computer being the only one in the whole classroom not burninated to a crisp. "If you were not aware that you are barred from writing fanfiction before you receive your degree, you know now. If I or any other faculty member catches you even THINKING about doing such, you will be hauled off to be punished before you can say sorry." She gave them all a look, making them wonder if they would be punished for even thinking of writing.

Being forbidden to think of something suddenly makes the topic very alluring to dwell upon. Writing. Fanfics. Fanfiction. Writing Fanfiction. Posting Fanfiction. Writing and Posting Fanfiction. Writing and Posting and...

"STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" Nabiki blew a whistle, and suddenly the P.O.O.F.Y. force was there again.

"Aww, we were just getting started, Nabiki!" Sango whined. The class started to give her another awkward glance, but decided it was in their best interests not to.

"I have some more... presents... for you. Merry Christmas. I caught every single one of them thinking of posting fanfiction." Nabiki winked at Sango.

Sango winked back. "Well, students, that's a VERY serious crime. You'll be coming with us. Luckily, you didn't actually write or post anything, so you'll only be sentenced to 50 hours apiece for cleaning the staff baths, and 50 hours each for target practice for Kikyo and Kagome. I know it's kind of letting you off easy, but think of it as a warning." Sango shook her head kindly. "We wouldn't want any of you to go where your friend went a couple minutes ago."

"Where was that?"

Sango paused, then said "I won't give away the surprise for those of you who may actually go there, but it involves the reenacting of select fanfics that were particularly... vomit-inducing."

Reenacting? Cait did _not_ want to go there.

After "Original Character or Mary Sue?" class, it was time for lunch. For the first time in quite a while, the meals did not consist of Frosted Flakes or inedible Akane-cooked... stuff.

"I never thought I'd miss our old exclusively-Japanese menu here." Pia hungrily munched her sushi. "But, come on, can't they try something new? It gets kind of aggravating having the same food every day."

Paul Striker, who was sitting across from her, shushed her. "Listen! They're talking." He pointed to the staff table, which was only one away from theirs.

"I am!" Inuyasha pounded the table with his clawed fist.

"No, me!" Ranma shouted back. "I am the sexiest, most irresistible demon-fighting hero in the whole Universe!"

Inuyasha growled, baring his fangs. "You ready to fight?"

Ranma stood up, knocking over his chair in the process, and assumed a stance. "Bring it on, dog-boy."

"Stop, stop!" Kagome stood up and dragged Inuyasha away from Ranma, just as they were about to begin. Akane did the same for Ranma.

"Don't you think you should... um... settle this in a nonviolent way?" Akane mushed down Ranma's face while he struggled to get up.

"Yeah!" Inuyasha sprang up out of Kagome's clutches. "Let's ask the students!"

Turning to face the students, who were all by now watching their fierce debate, Inuyasha said "Now who's the best? Handsome, fantastic, wonderful me? Or that miserable, pitiful excuse for a martial artist, Ranma?"

All of the Inuyasha fangirls in the audience screamed "INUYASHA!" so loud that Cait's ear were still ringing after they had screamed for three minutes straight.

Ranma stood up. "Feh. That was nothing."

"You're stealing my 'Feh', Ranma! That's MY 'Feh,' not yours!"

Ranma ignored him. "Who thinks that Ranma is the best, and not some sniveling mongrel?"

"Why I-" Inuyasha's angry words were drowned out by the shouting of many Ranma fangirls from the audience. "RANMA!" This went on for three minutes, as had the Inuyasha fangirls's rant.

Inuyasha stared at each other very maliciously.

"They screamed longer for ME." Ranma said loudly.

Inuyasha bared his teeth. "No, for ME!"

At this point, the entire fangirl student body, who up to this point had been satisfied with just watching their favorite character up on stage, decided while the two were arguing that it was up to them to decide the fight.

"You know they like me more, dog-breath..." Ranma stuck his tongue out.

"Say that again, and..." Both Ranma and Inuyasha turned around to find out what that strange noise was. It sounded like...

"Oh, HELL no..."

The fangirls which had cheered so enthusiastically minutes before, had decided to show their support in the only language they knew.

"Augh! Get them OFF!" Inuyasha's scream was muffled by the mounds of fangirls piling on top of him. They jumped on top of him, grabbing his hair, his clothes his ears... "Oww! My ears!"

Ranma was in a similar situation, with either girls pulling his ponytail or boys trying to splash some cold water on him.

It took them nearly ten minutes to disperse the fangirls/boys, and when they were done, panting, each turned to the other and said "YOU can be the best."

"No, you."

"You. I insist."

"No thanks, you're the best."

"You!"

"I SAID YOU, DAMMIT!" Inuyasha and Ranma glared at each other menacingly.

Then the bell rang and the students filed out the doors to class while Inuyasha and Ranma argued over who was the best. This argument was going to be a long one.

*Later That Night*

"It's decided!" Ranma proudly shouted from the staff lounge.

Cait and Pia, along with the rest of the University, woke up saying "Why are we awake?"

Suddenly a loud crash was heard from the staff dorms. "Hey?" Ataru's voice was heard. "Why do I have a sign around my neck saying 'The best?'"

Inuyasha and Ranma were one step closer to solving their fangirl problem.