InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ Adventures in jacket chasing ( Chapter 22 )

Chapter 22

"As you can see," Ataru pointed to a diagram showing an image of someone, supposedly himself, and a cute girl on a date, "by using the proper amount of pickup lines and compliments, almost any girl will go on a date with you eventually if you bug them enough. Thank you, and class dismissed."

The students filed out of 'Dating 101' class. Ataru was the teacher, and of course having practically no romantic life other than being turned down by every girl he meets, he was hardly qualified to teach it. He still had the sign saying "The Best" around his neck, still unaware that Inuyasha and Ranma had put it there, not some fangirl.

"Hear that? I have fangirls out there smitten enough to sneak into my room in the dead of night and give me a sign to proclaim that I, Ataru, am the best!" He said to everyone who passed him.

Cait rolled her eyes. "Does he still not get it?"

"Let him think that. I can't imagine him having a real fan anyway." Pia smiled.

Cait agreed. They walked quickly upstairs, not wanting to be late for 'Original Character or Mary Sue?'.

They took seats near the back of the class. Several minutes later the bell rang, and Sessho-maru walked in. Their teacher took a seat at his desk in the front of the room, and the class immediately stopped talking.

"Today in class we will be examining the differences between the Mary Sue and the strange creatures you create, Original Characters."

Sessho-maru motioned with his hand, and SukiKawaiiChibiNeko-chan, the Mary Sue, walked in through a side door. Another girl, presumably the Original Character, walked in after her.

"As you can see, the Original Character on the right... what's your name again?" Sessho-maru quickly asked.

The Original Character smiled. "My name is AiBishoujoYuki-ko."

The whole class stared at her blankly. Sessho-maru shook his head. "And you're an Original Character, not a Mary Sue?"

AiBishoujoYuki-ko nodded. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no. Let's continue with the presentation." The lights dimmed and everyone looked up toward the front of the classroom.

The spotlight was on SukiKawaiiChibiNeko-chan. She tossed her shimmering silver-blue hair and her purple eyes sparkled as she smoothed her gleaming green mini-dress and lightly fluttered her wings. In her hand was a long pink staff with a glowing heart on it.

"As you can see, the Mary Sue is half Unicorn-demon, half fairy, half elf and half angel, cursed with the spring of the drowned very-beautiful-magical miko."

"That's four halves! That'd make her two people!" Ryusuke cried out abruptly.

"Apparently whomever created her was not very good at fractions. Now have a look at the Original Character on the left."

AiBishoujoYuki-ko stood on the left. She was wearing a dark black fur bikini, carrying a magic wand and a long sickle. Her spiky indigo hair was gathered into pigtails that went down past her knees, and she had rabbit ears on top of her head.

"The Original Character here is half cyborg, half spirit, half guardian of supernatural magic, half bunny rabbit demon. Yes, another author who cannot do fractions."

"Bunny Rabbit demon? Who would think up something like that?" someone from the back of the room asked.

"Who knows what goes on in the minds of writers? Let's continue now." Sessho-maru positioned the spotlight back onto SukiKawaiiChibiNeko-chan.

SukiKawaiiChibiNeko-chan twirled around in different poses six times, then pointed her pink glowing staff at Sessho-maru's punching bag that looked strangely like Inuyasha and shouted "Silver Heart Flowering Sparkling Shimmering Vibrating Love Beam Blast!"

The Inuyasha punching bag exploded into little silver hearts and the whole classroom was suddenly covered with pink flower petals.

Cait tried to pick the flower petals off her books. "Gross! They're sticky!"

Sessho-maru placed a new Inuyasha-shaped punching bag in the previous one's place and returned to the lesson. "Ignore them from now. Pay attention to the Original Character."

AiBishoujoYuki-ko stood up. She took her sickle and pointed it at the punching bag. The whole room began to glow purple, then a beam shot out of her wand and hit the punching bag so hard that it exploded. The room was now covered in little sparkling purple stars, on top of the pink petals.

Sessho-maru got up from his chair. "It seems that the classroom is too messy to continue today's lesson. Your homework is to write an essay on the differences of Mary Sues and Original Characters. We will continue this lesson tomorrow."

"That wasn't fair! Not all Original Characters are like that!" someone called out from the back of the class.

"Everyone is excused after you finished cleaning the room... except you there in the back, who can stay and serve as a new punching bag until I get a new one."

That student screamed and ran away. "Noooooooo!"

Everyone else, including Cait and Pia, had to clean up the sticky petals and stars left over from AiBishoujoYuki-ko and SukiKawaiiChibiNeko-chan. Once they were done, everyone that was in Accounting was to report to Nabiki's room for instructions. They still had to clean the staff baths and help Kagome and Kikyo in target practice, as punishment for thinking of writing and posting fanfiction without a license.

Several hours later at dinner, Cait and Pia stumbled into the dining hall and fell down on the table, exhausted.

"What was your punishment for today?" Reiko asked, her mouth full of food.

"Target practice..." Cait mumbled. "We had to wear... AUGH!"

"What? What?" Reiko tried to calm down Cait, who was trembling and staring at her.

"It's your jacket!"

Reiko looked at her red and white striped jacket. "What's wrong with it? It's my favorite jacket, isn't it nice?"

Pia, who had calmed down, said "It looks just like a target, it you kind of... bend it... this way..." Pia had taken hold of the jacket, and had folded it up so the stripes made a bull's eye pattern.

Cait stopped shivering, and grabbed it. "Get it away!" She tossed it over her shoulder. The jacket landed on the table across from theirs.

Reiko gasped. "Oh, no... not the staff table!" They all watched as the jacket fell... right on top of Shippo's head. "That's my favorite jacket!"

Shippo picked it up cautiously. "Look! It's a big piece of cloth!"

"You moron, it's called a jacket!" Ataru snatched it form him. "Maybe it's a token of admiration from some smitten fangirl!"

"Yeah. That's it." Inuyasha and Ranma rolled their eyes.

"It's cute! It looks like a candy cane! If you don't want it..." Kagome smiled at Ataru, who willingly gave it to her. "Ooh, thank you!"

Reiko, Cait, and Pia watched all this from their table. "I don't care if it is our teachers... that's MY jacket!"

"Just wait until they leave for class... maybe she'll forget about it and leave it here."

Reluctantly, Reiko stayed in her seat and waited for lunch to end. She kept glancing over to the staff table.

Eventually lunch ended. Cait, Reiko, and Pia stayed to watch for the jacket.

"Why do I have to wait?" Pia grumbled. "I didn't even do anything."

"Because I said so. Unless you'd like some cold water..." Cait threatened Pia, knowing that Pia was cursed as a rabid squirrel, which would take effect with cold water.

She got quiet, and the three girls watched as the teachers left their table.

"Damn! She didn't. Thanks a lot for the great idea, Cait." Reiko stuck her tongue out. "Now we're going to have to sneak into the staff dorms to get it back!"

Cait stood up. "No way. No. Uh-uh. I have a little enough chance of survival here as a student without going on a suicide mission. You know what they guard their floor with now?"

Reiko shook her head. "What? Have they beefed up security since we last broke in? What do they guard them with?"

"I don't know either. Want to find out?" Pia nodded enthusiastically.

"NO! That was not a bet, guys... We are so not doing this!" Cait yelled at them the whole way back to the dorms.

One hour later, Cait, Pia, and Reiko were hiding outside the staff building in a nearby bush.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this..." Cait moaned, smacking her head, wishing she hadn't come along.

"Relax, we just find our way to Kagome's room, take back my jacket, and split! Nothing can go wrong." Reiko smiled, as if she actually believed what she was saying.

"It's going to be fun! I want to sneak in to find my Mousse!" Pia stared dreamily into the sky. "Ah... Mousse...."

"Was Pia's hair gel stolen?" Reiko asked.

Cait sighed. "She has a crush on Mousse..."

"We'd better get going if we're going to get my jacket back..." Reiko motioned for the two girls to follow her, and they quickly scuttled over to the side of the building, crouching under a bush. "When I give the signal, we're going to hop through the window. After that, we run up the stairs and find Kagome's room to get my jacket. Then, we run. Anyone have any questions?"

Cait was regretting getting involved more every second.

Reiko jumped to the window sill, and Pia followed her. Cait was left standing outside for a few seconds, then decided she'd better go along to make sure the others didn't get themselves killed.

Reiko jumped down from the window, preparing for whatever security device might start blaring. Seconds passed on. Nothing happened. She let out a gasp, and motioned for Pia and Cait to follow her inside. Suddenly they heard a loud crash from the ceiling. Reiko looked up, and a giant stuffed panda fell down on her.

"mmMMFFff!" Reiko cried from under the stuffed panda. Cait and Pia jumped in to help her out. They could hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Quick! Under the stairs!" Pia pointed and all three jumped underneath the spiral staircase. The footsteps were coming closer. They huddle down, hoping no one would see them.

Kuno and Miroku had descended the stairs, and now were standing right in front of the girls' hiding space, facing the door.

"I wonder how they escaped our security device?" Kuno said absently.

Miroku thought. "They may have been more than one intruders. Either way, they're not here now. It is possible that they have fled, but to be careful we should tell everyone to be on the alert." Miroku and Kuno went back upstairs to warn the other teachers.

Cait, Pia, and Reiko waited several minutes before coming out of their hiding place.

"We've got to be quick, now that they know we're here." Reiko started sneaking up the stairs, Cait and Pia reluctantly followed.

When they reached the top, they quickly ducked behind the curtains on the right, because Miroku and Kuno were still up there, talking to each other. ('Probably about us!' Pia said quietly) After a few minutes they went back into their rooms.

"It's now or never, guys." Reiko sped through the stairway room to the first hallway with the rooms. She started reading the labels on each door. "Shampoo... Akane... Ryouga... Kuno... looks like this is the Ranma 1 / 2 section."

They all ran to the second hallway. "Lum... Jariten... Ataru... Shinobu... Cherry... Nope, this looks like the Lum Urusei Yatsura hall."

Reiko led them to the third hallway. "This one's it! Now, let's go and get my jacket!" She opened the door labeled 'Kagome,' and snuck through quietly.

Pia and Cait looked at each other, then Pia followed her. Cait decided it was better to wait at the door. She peeked in after her friends to see what was happening.

Reiko had seen the jacket, hanging on a chair near the windows. ('What a nice room!'Cait thought to herself) Reiko sprinted across the room and snatched it up, but before she could leave, a voice came from next to the chair.

"What are you doing in my room, students?" Kikyo floated next to Reiko, who was still clutching the jacket.

Reiko paled. "Um... nothing...?"

Pia glared at the miko from the back of the room.

Kikyo eyed the jacket. "Is that yours?"

"Y...yes, Kagome took it on accident at lunch, and I came here to get it back..." Reiko blushed as Kikyo eyed her. Her story was sounding stupider by the minute. "Why are you here, isn't this Kagome's room?"

"We share a room. Yes, staff members have to share rooms also." Kikyo floated over so that she was in front of the door. "You do realize that you are breaking the rules by going in here."

"Umm... no we don't! What rules? We're not supposed to be here? What?" Reiko laughed nervously. She was not a good liar.

"What was that phrase again? YEAH RIGHT." Kikyo said this a bit slowly, since she was not used to saying these modern phrases. "Well, you're in big trouble now. I'm going to have to report you." Kikyo floated out the door, motioning for them to follow her.

Reiko ran after her. "Wait! Don't turn us in!"

Kikyo stared back at her. "Why shouldn't I? You are breaking the rules."

"Um... want some money?" Reiko held up a twenty.

The priestess stared blankly at the money. "What would I do with that?"

"Please! We'll do anything, just don't turn us in!" Pia pleaded with her, bowing down at her feet. She started to pull out a knife to stab her with, but Cait kicked her to make her stop.

Kikyo thought. "Hmm. Well, if you can find a way to stop people from trying to kill me all the time, I guess I could... what's the phrase... 'Let you off the hook' this time."

"Thank you!" Reiko jumped up and down in happiness, then realized what she had just said. "What are we supposed to do again?"

"Stop those crazy 'Kikyo-bashers' from plotting and executing attempts on my life, or any other harmful plots. They do not seem to realize that I am already dead, and it is impossible to kill me again. You have one week to do this, if you don't, then you'll be 'helping me out' with target practice for the rest of the trimester. Good evening." Kikyo pushed the three students out the open window.

Reiko, Pia, and Cait landed in a rosebush outside the window. They ran off so fast that they still had thorns sticking in them when they returned to their dorms. Pia and Cait were ready to go to bed, but Reiko was still prancing around in delight.

"I got my jacket back! I got my jacket back!" she squealed in ecstacy.

"Be careful with it near the... oh no!" Reiko jumped back, clutching half of a jacket.

"Augh! Not the super-speedy trash disposal!" The chomping blades whirred, and the rest of the jacket was gone forever into the hole in the wall.

"Who ever thought of a trash shredder mounted in the wall?" Cait murmured.

Reiko looked as if she were about to cry. "My... my jacket! It's gone! Nooo..." she wailed, burying her face in the ripped fabric of her beloved jacket.

Cait smacked her head. Pia patted Reiko's shoulder.

"I guess I'll just have to wear one of my spares..." Reiko shrugged, reaching into her closet and pulling out another identical jacket.

Cait and Pia stared blankly at Reiko.

"You mean all that time, instead of getting into major trouble, you could have just gotten an extra jacket?" Cait yelled in exasperation.

Reiko looked fearfully from Cait to Pia, who was equally angry, screamed, and with all her energy ran straight for her room, slamming the door behind her.