InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ Misinforming the masses ( Chapter 23 )

**NOTE** Everything Cait says in her little rant is completely made up and totally false. Remember, it's either lie to the Kikyo-bashers or target practice for a week!

Chapter 23

"Well, you sure have gotten us into a big mess now, Reiko. How the hell are we supposed to convince all the Kikyo-bashers in school to quit trying to plot death attempts on... heck, I'm a Kikyo-basher! How do you expect to do that? Worst thing is, since we're indebted to Kikyo, even if we do pull it off she'll be exploiting us all trimester!" Pia banged her head against the wall in exasperation.

Reiko shrugged. "Kikyo wouldn't do that. She's not Nabiki, after all. Of course, she won't get really mad if we don't stop them, because she doesn't expect us to actually do it. She just wants us to help her out in the detention we'll get when we don't do it!"

There was a pensive silence, then Cait thought out loud "Maybe we could bribe them into stopping, just for this one week, and then..."

"...we'll be bribing them to complete a bribe on someone else, that's totally stupid." Reiko was stitching her ripped jacket back together as they talked.

They thought for quite a while without avail, until the bell rang for wake-up.

"Wake-up bell? It's morning already? That means we've been up all night!" Cait gasped.

"So? Just drink some coffee." Reiko shrugged.

"No, I mean I have a 'Fire for novices' test this morning and I haven't studied a bit!" Cait ran to her room to get her text book.

Ten and Toto-sai's 'Fire for novices' class was held in the same large stone room as the previous semester's 'Fire for beginners' had been held. The desks were all stone. They had been wooden before. Although this had proven unwise, after the second class it also produced a foundation for a ritual bonfire at the beginning of each class. Who knew desks would burn so well?

Cait rushed in, breathing hard. "I'm sorry I'm late!"

Ten flew until he was right in front of her face. "You're still late. Do you know what we do to latecomers?"

Toto-sai blew a few practice puffs of flame, then turned to face Cait, puffing up his cheeks as he prepared to breathe fire on her.

"Aiieee! Nooo! Please just let me take the test, don't burn me... augh!" Cait ran around the room, trying to avoid the shooting streams of flame all around her.

Eventually she was allowed to sit down and take the test, but not without having to make use of the emergency fire extinguisher first.

"We've still got the problem on how we're going to stop all the Kikyo-bashers from trying to hurt that evil clay zombie." Pia gritted her teeth at the thought of the miko that she hated.

Cait looked over the list she had been making. "Let's review the reasons people hate Kikyo, then we can find ways to deal with them."

Reason #1: She tries to break Inuyasha and Kagome up.

"Well, wouldn't she? I mean, if you and a guy were together, and you both still have feelings for each other, but some other chick's trying to steal him away, who wouldn't try to break them up!" Reiko shrugged. "That one is completely justified."

"But what about all the hardcore 'IY/KG' fans who just make Koga a rapist or Kikyo an abusive girlfriend in all their fics? They don't think so." Pia shook her head.

Cait continued reading.

Reason #2: She's made of clay, and is not technically alive.

"That's not her fault, though." Cait said softly. "Didn't she want to go back to being dead in that one episode?"

"If Inuyasha was with her. Which brings us to the next reason." Pia pointed at the paper.

Reason #3: She's hugging MY Inuyasha.

"Ok... that's definitely one for the fangirls..." Cait sighed. "Could they get any lower? She's dead, why do they care if she hugs him?"

"It's conveniently exempting that he hugs her too on certain occasions too..." Reiko crumpled up the list. "This is no good. We're working backwards here. We're actually defending Kikyo! We need to convince these people, and sympathizing with her will not going to work."

Cait suddenly had an idea. "What if... we tell them that the person really responsible isn't Kikyo?"

Pia and Reiko didn't get it. "What are you talking about? They know all this already. You can't just lie to them and expect them to believe it."

"If we play it right... they just might." Cait smiled evilly.

"Why are we being called to an assembly?"

"Even stranger, why is it just us in Kikyo-bashers anonymous? Why no one else?"

"Maybe Kikyo has decided to resign from her teaching post and leave forever!"

"Or maybe she has decided to partake in an assisted suicide... she's going to let us kill her!"

Cait, Pia, and Reiko listened silently to the Kikyo-bashers' chatter before their assembly.

"Who's going to be the lucky one to talk to them?" Reiko said quickly. "Not me! I have a *cough* *cough* hoarse voice. Sorry."

Cait sighed. She could see where this was going. "Well, it can't be Pia, she's a Kikyo-basher herself. So I guess I'll have to do it. Thanks a lot, Reiko." Cait stuck he tongue out at Reiko, who laughed.

"But you two will have to help somehow. Reiko, you can hand out these pamphlets I made, they highlight some points of the speech thing that I'm going to do... Pia, you can go into the audience, and shout things like 'Yeah!' and 'That's right!' to get the audience more open to what I will say. Got it? I'm going to start now."

Pia and Reiko were in their positions. Cait began to quiet down the crowd.

"Hello?" Cait tapped the microphone. "Welcome, Kikyo-bashers. Thank you for coming for this special announcement."

Murmurs went through the crowd, wondering what the announcement would be.

"You all know that Kikyo is responsible for many speed bumps in Inuyasha and Kagome's love life... or at least you THINK you know. But, through hours of research and diligent investigation, my colleagues and I have found out that not only is Kikyo not responsible for these setbacks, she actually has helped their relationship advance further."

Pia stared at Cait. "How the hell is this going to fly?"

Cait paused a moment before continuing her speech. "You have been led, falsely that is, to believe that Kikyo is in fact the basis of problems in their relationship, but actually she has been tirelessly working toward the positive development of Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship."

A group of teachers who were passing by stopped to listen. "What the hell is she talking about?" Inuyasha thought to himself, moving in closer.

Cait was unaware of the presence of teachers. "Not to mention that if it weren't for Kikyo, Kagome would have never been born, Kikyo has also caused things to heat up between the two by putting pressure on Inuyasha. If it were not for Kikyo's undying devotion to making sure Inuyasha and Kagome get together, who knows where they would be right now?"

Someone called out from the audience. "Then why is it whenever she shows up they get farther apart?"

Cait kept talking. "It's all a lie! They want you to think so, but it's not! The information source is biased! The reason for this is not what you have been led to believe. There is one falsifier who is responsible for these untruths!"

Reiko stopped handing out pamphlets to listen to Cait's speech. "This is interesting. Could it maybe not have been true?"

Cait stopped a moment to think. 'Let's see... who can I blame that no one will defend?' The answer hit her right on the head, it was so obvious. "All those times that you thought you saw Kikyo trying to dissuade Kagome, all those times you thought you saw her try to hit on Inuyasha... it was really... NARAKU'S DOING!"

The teachers were all ears now. Some stared at Naraku. "You did that?" Inuyasha said skeptically.

The Kikyo-bashers were all ears now, listening to all the bull Cait was saying. "They actually believe this!" Reiko giggled.

Cait continued. "From the moment when Kikyo tried to aid him in that cave, Naraku has had the poor miko under his power using MIND CONTROL! That's right, he kept trying to get Inuyasha and Kagome to go away from each other, but good Kikyo successfully kept them together!"

The Kikyo-bashers in the crowd were severely confused. But listening. And if they listened, maybe Cait, Pia, and Reiko would get out of trouble.

Pia stared. "That is such bullshit... but they're buying it!"

Cait finished up her talk. "It isn't Kikyo you should hate! It's all Naraku's fault! Thank you for coming to listen today." She stepped down from the podium, looking relieved that it was over.

Pia ran up to her. "Cait! That was totally awesome! They all totally believed you!"

Reiko motioned behind them. "The teachers didn't, though..."

Cait paled. "The... the teachers are here?"

They watched silently as the majority of the Kikyo-bashers went up one by one and apologized solemnly, saying things like "I was wrong in assuming your guilt." and "Please forgive me. Thank you for all you have done to aid our cause."

The Former-Kikyo-Bashers, turned to Naraku, who was trying to puzzle out what Cait had meant by him using mind control. "I don't remember doing such... what is she talking about?"

Naraku stopped thinking as he saw the Kikyo-bashers approaching him.

"Waaah!" Naraku sped away from the angry crowd.

Cait, Pia, and Reiko were left watching the Former-Kikyo-Bashers chase after Naraku in a fit of rage.

"Well, that works. Who knows what will happen now, though. I'll bet you anything that most of them will realize that all your talking was made up and go back to hating Kikyo." Reiko nodded.

"Hopefully they'll last out the week. Then we can stay out of detention."

"Good point."

"Well, girls, it wasn't the best or most permanent way, but it seems you have managed to get the majority of my haters out of my hair for a while." Kikyo floated up behind Cait so quickly that she jumped back in surprise.

"Um... great!" Pia smiled nervously. "So... this means we're off detention?"

Kikyo nodded. "In fact, you did such a good job of it that I think I will consider putting in a good word for you in Friday's faculty meeting. Thank you." She drifted off towards the staff building and left Cait, Pia, and Reiko staring at each other, wearing awed expressions.

"Can you believe that?"

"This is great! No DT, and she's not even mad!" They high-fived each other and walked back to the dormitory.

Pia and Cait were so elated with their good fortune that they couldn't get to sleep.

"Hey, Cait?"Pia said, busy painting her toenails a bright yellow.

Cait looked over from the manga she was reading. "Yeah?"

"What's going to happen to us when all the Kikyo-bashers realize we lied to them?"

******

Yay! This makes a whole year I've been writing this fic. I'd love your comments or possible fun ideas for the University. Tell me what kind of fics you think especially need courses taught about. If you're a fangirl/fanboy, or just want in on all the chaos going on, ask and you can apply! I hope you are enjoying reading this fic!

~Meowm