InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Soul of the Future, White Heart of the Past (On hold) ❯ Chapter 21: Heart of the Dark Beast - part 2 ( Chapter 22 )

Written by: Zelix

A/N: Okay, I've finally gotten rid of the writer's block for now, before we begin though I must inform you all of this: I am in no means trying to insult religion or god, if some of you are offended by this I can assure you that you shouldn't jump to conclusions yet, this story is just getting started and this whole god hate thing has a reason and the answer will blow your socks off, I guarantee it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, you know that by now… But I do own my fabulous OC!

"Talking"

`Thinking'

=Used when mentioning Techniques or attacks =

*Switch in Time/Place*

[Check the bottom for details]

If this was a TV-series:

Opening: Blue Gender - Tokihanate

Ending: Tanpopo - Track 1

Dark Soul of the Future, White Heart of the Past

Episode 21: "Heart of the Dark Beast - part 2"

"Dark Beast… one who awoke from 3000 years of long imprisonment, what is it after? What does it want? It bears the title Ruin-Bringer, why? What did it do to deserve a title like that and why is he acting nothing like it? What does it think or what does the heart of the dark beast feel as it walks the lonely path in our world?" - Unknown

Kasaraki was sitting outside the teashop, he had a few dumplings next to him on the wooden bench and a cup of tea in his hand, his sword was leaning against the wall next to the bench. The tea tasted a bit bitter but it did have a certain `pick-me-up' kind of an after flavour… the dumplings though, now those were good! It wasn't just because they themselves tasted great but because he could also taste the `feeling' they were made with, it was one of his body's many weird functions, he could taste the essence it was made with, in other words: He was tasting that woman's feelings who ran this teashop and judging from the scents she emitted, she was also the mother of those two children playing with the puppy in front of him.

He couldn't help but smile at all this, true he didn't know that woman's name yet but it would have been rude to ask it then and there, so instead he had ordered something to eat and the taste of these dumplings… they had devotion in them, devotion to perfect them… if he had to place the tastes in order, devotion was the 4th most delicious taste he had tasted, 3rd place was for enthusiasm, 2nd for happiness and the 1st place was for love… though that's the one taste he hadn't tasted yet… since that love would need to be meant for him or he wouldn't be able to taste it…

Also, what made him smile was the atmosphere of this place, it was just a small teashop but seeing those two kids and the puppy playing in front of him and a hard working mother… though he could tell that there were traces of sadness and regrets here as well, must be somehow connected to the children's father, he couldn't smell or feel the presence of her husband or those children's mother here, sure they had the scents but they were old… very old, like he hadn't been around here for years now. It could be for many different reasons as to why: He could be dead, ran away, abandoned them, killed himself or went with another woman, it wasn't any of his business but he couldn't help but to be interested, he hadn't seen the world for 3000 years for crying out loud so he was VERY interested on how people were, even though he knew what the era was it didn't mean he knew anything about the people.

Kasaraki then felt something sit down next to him and saw it was the woman who ran this shop, he was silent for a moment, not really knowing what to say… until looking at the kids and the puppy he finally said after taking another sip of the tea: "… They are full of life aren't they?" The woman looked at him for a moment before saying with a small smile: "Yes, they are my treasures… both of them." He smiled before taking another sip, only to realise the cup was empty, he slowly placed it down on the bench and then said: "Kids, they are so innocent, so untouched by the corruption of this world… so full of life, everything around them is like a miracle and even the smallest things make them laugh or cry… so delicate and strong at the same time, we want nothing more but to protect them from the evils of the world, which only makes it more and more harder to let go of them when they grow up."

The woman sighed and said with a bit more sadder tone: "I know, yet…" She didn't finish, her voice just faded away and Kasaraki knew what she meant, this woman was alone… her children were the only company she had left, though her eyes… what was it that kept bugging him? He then asked while placing his elbow to his knee so he could lean his head onto his hand and asked: "What are their names?" He put the thought about what he saw in her eyes away for now, instead he was trying to make a conversation of some sort. The woman pointed at her children and said: "That's my son, Juntaro and that is my daughter, Masayo… my name is Kirie, good sir." Kasaraki cocked an eyebrow, `good sir'? There was hardly any reason for someone to call him that… he replied with a smirk: "Kirie… nice name, but don't call me a `good sir' or anything like that, my name is Kasaraki and I'm not someone to call `sir', I'm just a traveller seeking something."

Kirie looked at him with a raised eyebrow as well before asking with both humour and curiosity in her voice: "Oh…? What are you seeking then, sir traveller?" He groaned, not only was this woman beautiful, a mother but she was also witty… Kasaraki smirked and said while opened his palm and just and moved it, as if showing her the scenery: "What I seek is to find true love in this eternal earth…" His voice tried to sound serious but he couldn't help but let out the humour in it as well, not to mention his golden amber eyes tweaked with mischief…

It didn't take long before Kirie began to chuckle and so did he, god, he was sure that sounded so lame it was hard to believe… he then said after he stopped chuckling: "I'm just kidding… but it's true that I am seeking someone to travel with, since what I'm after is a long way from here and company wouldn't hurt." Though, he did lie a bit again, he didn't really want JUST a companion, but someone who he could trust… which would be hard since his two BEST friends had betrayed him 3000 years ago who he had trusted with his life… but she didn't need to know that now did she?

Kirie merely waved her hand in front of her and said: "Never mind, it's not really my business to ask something like that… thanks for the laugh though." Kasaraki then looked at the children again, the question about their father kept playing in his head… then, he finally asked Kirie with a sigh: "Kirie… I know this is a personal question but… where is your husband? I noticed that you're the only one who works here…"

They shared an awkward silence, which he broke by saying while lowering his head: "Sorry… I shouldn't have asked, I'm just too curios for my own good…" They shared another awkward silence before Kirie without saying a word stood up and walked back into the shop, leaving Kasaraki there to berate himself for his lack of tactfulness and common sense… you DON'T go around asking someone something like that when you know something had happened, shit.

As Kasaraki sat there, just rubbing his eyes and muttering to himself about being an insensitive asshole… he was broken from his thoughts though when he heard someone making a whimper like whine sound next to him, he opened his eyes enough to see the puppy, Juno there with it's head resting on his thigh and whimpering softly… as if feeling his depressed feelings… damn intuitive mutt.

The two children then came in front of him too and the girl, Masayo was the first to say: "Brother, has Juno ever done that before?" The boy, Juntaro then replied with a shrug; "No, he's never done this before…" Kasaraki blinked and looked between the puppy and the kids before asking with a confused tone: "It's never done what?"

Masayo hid behind her big brother, obviously shy about being talked to by strangers… cute. Juntaro then said to Kasaraki: "Juno has never acted this way towards strangers before, it usually either barks at them or avoids them, yet it seems to like you mister." Kasaraki looked at the puppy, seeing it looking back at him with sad eyes he couldn't help but smile himself and slowly began to rub it behind it's ear, making it growl lowly and tilting it's head to the side while it's eyes remained closed, he then said to the kids: "Well, I'm just good with animals, what more can I say?"

There was a small moment of silence before Masayo shyly asked Kasaraki while still hiding behind her brother: "Umm… mister? Why are your eyes golden coloured?" Kasaraki stopped rubbing Juno's ear, making it whimper slightly but only for a second before he began to rub it's other ear while Juntaro said to Masayo: "Stupid! You don't go asking a person something like that!" She immediately tries to say something back as an apology but Kasaraki just laughs lightly and says with closed eyes: "You have nothing to apologise for, you're still so young after all so it is natural for you to be curios about these things… and Juntaro, you shouldn't yell at your sister, instead you could simply show her not to do it again without calling her stupid, understood?" His tone was almost father like and surprisingly, he just nodded silently.

Kasaraki then opened his eyes and said with a neutral expression: "The reason my eyes are golden is because I was born like this, I have the same eyes as my mother did… *Sigh*, I miss her…" When he had mentioned his mother, Kasaraki's eyes turned towards the sky with a far off look in them, his tone was also sad and filled with longing. There was a long silence before Masayo whispered to her brother: "He looks like mother does when she remembers daddy…" Kasaraki heard it but didn't react at first, then Juntaro whispered back: "Yes he does… I wonder what happened to his mother?" He then decided to reply and suddenly said with a much harsher tone than me meant to use: "She is dead."

This made both of the kids jump slightly and even Juno suddenly backed away from Kasaraki and hid behind the two kids, ears low and whimpering lowly with fear as Kasaraki suddenly clenched his palms into fists and while gritting his teeth he said without really noticing his own temper: "She was killed, that… monster killed her… right in front of my eyes…"

Kasaraki was now loosing control of his feelings and emotions again, just the memory about his mother made his already un-stable control go into haywire and ready to lash out at anything… until suddenly he felt something touching his fisted hand, something warm, soft and small… he snapped his eyes open and looked at who was holding his hand, to his surprise it was Masayo with her brother trying to silently get her sister to back away from him while Juno was behind Masayo, looking like ready to attack if he did something to the girl, a true dog, even as a puppy it would protect it's family no matter what it was up against.

As he looked at Masayo's innocent little eyes, he could feel his control stabilising itself again and when she spoke with a small smile: "It's alright mister, your mother must have been pretty, since your eyes are also pretty and they are your mother's eyes right? You must be hurt, my mother is also hurt because daddy won't be coming back…" This made his anger settle down again, this little girl looked so… so innocent, she was holding his hand even though he was about to lose control and held no fear in her eyes… he couldn't stay mad, his mind was already calm and he could feel his anger receding away, Juno must have noticed it too because the little puppy looked at him with it's head tilting to it's side, it was rather cute.

Kasaraki then slowly retracted his hand from Masayo and said while looking down, his entire shoulders slumping down and he said with a low, depressed voice: "Yes… she was so pretty, she was so gentle and warm hearted despite what that monster did to her… she only wanted to give me a life…" He then placed his hands onto his lap and said while looking down and closing his eyes: "Could you leave me alone, please? I need to be alone for now…" Masayo just nodded and while taking Juno into her arms she looked at Juntaro who was looking at both of them with his body stiff like a statue, apparently still not fully comprehending how his little sister had the guts to come close to Kasaraki while he had been too frightened to even move… but he then snapped back and followed her little sister as they walked back inside the teashop, leaving Kasaraki alone with his feelings in turmoil again…

"Mother… I'm sorry…" He muttered to himself as a few small tears began to leak out of his eyes, normally he wouldn't cry but whenever he thought about his mother, he couldn't help it, it always made him shed tears… even the smallest amount…

(I'm sorry if these chapters are slow but this is meant to give a picture about Kasaraki and the way he thinks and feels)

Kasaraki then felt a soft, warm throb within his heart and then the very familiar voice of Shizena (The unknown spirit that talked to him two chapters ago, remember?) said to him mentally: "Kasaraki… It is alright to cry for losing those you loved, you are a very strong person but even with all these powers you still have a limit to what you can withstand, don't let it pile up like this, I may not be able to be there to comfort you but…" He then answered back mentally: `Shizena, I know that I shouldn't let it pile up like this but… I cannot help it, I truly wish this pain would simply stop but this is one scar that will never heal, it will be there forever until the moment I die… which at this rate seems like a long way off, VERY long way off… I'm sorry but, could you not talk to me right now? I just want to be alone, nothing personal but I just want to be alone right now…' He then felt the presence leave his heart again with a message from Shizena with a warm, understanding voice: "Of course, Kasaraki, your physical wounds and pains are something that I can heal but your heart is something only those who live in this plain can possibly heal… I hope you'll find someone to ease your tormented heart and soul, I really do." With that, her presence was gone, it would forever be there but for now it was gone, making him sigh and slump against the wall behind him, feeling so drained for some reason… emotionally drained… it's a lot harder to control his anger than it looks.

*At Kaede's village*

Sango was sitting at the bank of the village lake, looking at herself from it's reflection, deep in thought: `So much happened all at once in these past 2 days (I lost track of time, so that's my estimate of how much time has passed between these chapters): Naraku's demise, our victory celebration… my own foolishness… I still cannot believe it, I was really going to kill myself! Why was I trying to kill myself…? Oh yes, Kohaku and everyone else… I really hit the bottom didn't I? How could I even consider such a thing!?'

She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers before sighing and resumed thinking:

`… It's because I was desperate and alone, I always thought I had nothing to go on for, that once I had my revenge I would join my family in the other side, how foolish I really was… if Miroku had not been there, Kami (God), what would all this we had been through for the past 4 years have been for? My family is gone… yet I realise now that this is my new family: Shippo, Kirara, Inuyasha, Kagome, Kaede… even Myoga (The old flea, if I spelled his name right)… they are my new family and I was about to leave them! How more stupid could I be!?'

`Kagome has been like sister to me, Inuyasha… well, I don't know about him, perhaps as our family's loyal guard dog or something… hehehe. Shippo is the little adoptive child, Kagome and Inuyasha are his caretakers so that makes me his auntie… Kirara has always been a loyal companion, she has saved my life as well as my family's life so many times… Kaede is like our grandmother and Myoga, well… I'm still working on that one. Then, there is Miroku, had he not stopped me from doing the most foolish thing I can imagine, I would never have realised how many people there really are that I've grown affected to… not to mention, Kagome would have been devastated as well. It's so strange, none of us have no desire to even think about making her hurt in any possible way, she came into our lives out of nowhere and showed us so many things, taught us so many things… she is the driving force that kept this little group of ours together for 4 long years, so young and yet so strong, to be honest, there are times I truly envy her.'

She then fell onto her back on the bank and looked at the sky while still deep in thought:

`Miroku… when was it that I began to feel this strongly about that hentai king? He has been nothing but a lecherous monk but… I suppose it is because deep down all that, beneath all those lecherous ways of his and all that carefree attitude, there is a person who was more alone than I was… a person who would rather die than let someone else die because of him, someone who cannot truly become attached to someone because of the curse… his curse is now gone, so he is free to what he wants and to be with who he wants. Yet, despite all that, he came for me when I was beaten and broken, he pulled me out of my own personal hell and… *blush* made me feel desired and wanted… do I love him? Can I really admit to myself that I love him? Miroku… I can't deny that there had been times I have felt… `un-appropriate' thoughts about him, yet now… after what happened 2 days ago, I can't stop feeling this way… do I even know what love is? I have been a Tai-jiya (Youkai exterminator) for all my life so do I know what it is like to be a woman…?'

(Wow, that was a long thinking session huh?)

Sango then slowly got up and stretched her limbs, she briefly wondered how Kagome and Inuyasha were doing at the other side of the well at the moment… most likely they were consuming their love like there was no tomorrow, not that she could blame them, they had come close to death one too many times and had gone through too far too much to reach this point, so it was only natural they would do something like that.

Those thoughts made her wonder about herself again, would she herself ever find love like those two did? Something that despite all possible obstacles, potholes and walls it would come across would not make it die down, a love that could not be broken no matter what happened?

Miroku… she would need to talk to him about this, yet at the same time she was afraid of it, the memory of them in that hut after he had pulled her out of her suicidal attempts, it was something precious to her now. Her brother was gone, her family was dead and her village was burnt to the ground, she had no memories or moments left what to cherish… but that moment in the hut alone with Miroku, when he'd made her feel wanted and beautiful, maybe even loved… was something she didn't want to lose, she feared that if she talked to Miroku about it that precious memory might shatter, that one moment out of the 4 years of hell they'd been through, that was something she did not want to lose.

But… she knew better than to try and avoid it, either she would talk about it to him or eventually he would talk about it to her, either way, it would happen eventually. Though right now, they were occupied with the new threat known as Kasaraki, so she an excuse to avoid for now, but how much longer? That would remain a mystery, so she should take this time to prepare for it when it happens… yes, that's what she would do.

But, what Sango did not know was that within Kaede's hut, Miroku was meditating and was also thinking about it: `Sango… I should have seen this coming! That was too close, too close… I should have known she would try something like that, she may be a strong woman but the bottom line is, she is only human, deep down all that Tai-jiya training and strength she is a woman. A woman who is alone and needs someone to be there for her, since her guest for revenge is now over, she doesn't know what to do anymore… I should know, now that the Kazaana (Air void) is gone, I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do either.'

He breathed in deep before continuing his line of thought:

`It just… I always thought that I wouldn't be able to kill Naraku before the Kazaana would swallow me up, no matter what I hoped and thought, I always had this feeling at the back of my head that I would die, killing Naraku was like a dream but now that it has come true… well, I remember hearing this once: `A dream that comes true is not a dream, a dream is something that we try to achieve our whole life, it is meant to be un-reachable, all we can do is let it give us the strength to live.' So it means that killing Naraku was not the dream I was after, it was something that I needed to do in order to keep living… just like Sango wanted her revenge, now that she had it, there is nothing left, I know that feeling, when the Kazaana closed I was overwhelmed but now that the feeling has passed, I feel… empty, like the driving force that kept me going has now suddenly been taken away from me.'

He finished with his meditation and got up to walk outside, he stretched his own limbs and thought while looking at sky from the porch of Kaede's hut:

`Yet, when I saw Sango trying to end her own life, I realised just how deep down her heart and soul had been scarred… the scars in her body are one thing and they are not the problem, the problems are her spiritual scars, the death of her family, her brother, the destruction of her village and now the feeling of emptiness and not being needed anymore… though, the way she reacted when we were alone in the hut, she told me without words just how much she wants and needs to be loved and have someone who won't leave her alone like the others did. Sango… you have never experienced what it is like to be loved by someone outside your own family have you? She must be feeling confused right now, this is all new to her. I would like nothing more but to talk to her about this, to help her understand but… she needs time, time to sort her own thoughts out and we need to focus on Kasaraki, we must defeat him, or he will kill Inuyasha the next time they meet and all of us owe more than just our lives to both Inuyasha and Kagome, without them, I would have died from the Kazaana and never met Sango, this time, we will help them with everything we have.'

With that, Miroku went back into the hut to take his staff and then went to walk around the village, just enjoying life without the fear of his cursed Kazaana… while it lasts, because as the time goes by, the closer the moment would come when one of them was… going… to…

{[= DIE =]}

To Be Continued…

No Preview this time.

Next on Dark Soul, White Heart:

"Heart of the Dark Beast - part 3"

A/N: Sorry if it was cut there, since it's been ages since my last update I decided to split this into one more extra part, review now and we'll see how fast the next part comes out!

- Zelix see ya again!