InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Diary ❯ The Boiling Point ( Chapter 4 )

Wow. This is the "fateful" conversation between me and Inuyasha, brace yourselves:
Inuyasha: Uh...Kagome, can I--I um, talk to you about something?
Me: (frozen like a deer in front of a big ass truck's headlights) ........
Inuyasha: Um--just for a second?
Me: OH! I have um--STUDYING to do--you know how that goes! (What's wrong with me)*
Inuyasha: Can it wait, I REALLY have to talk to you..
Me: *running* No--I HAVE to do this!
Inuyasha: CAN YOU HOLD ON GOD DAMMIT?!
Me: *freezes* Well...what do you have to say?
Inuyasha: Um....uh...I...um--d-do you have to say something first?
Me: ...Um...uh...um...I...uh--just...what do YOU have to say?
Inuyasha: ....um...what do you--uh--THINK I have to say?
Me: Uh....well...I...um...yeah....
Inuyasha: ....um...yeah what?
Me: Uh...why don't you talk first...
Inuyasha: I have nothing to...um...uh...say...so...yeah....
Me: Um...I thought you had to talk to me?
Inuyasha: But YOU were going to say something first!
Me: Whatever! I was going to STUDY! If you have something SO important to say, SAY IT!
Inuyasha: What?.....oh fine...I...um...uh....I...um--well...uh...I have to--I....uh...what was I saying?
Me: ....
Inuyasha: ...oh right...well--I--that is to say--um...uh...
Sota: Just stop you're embarrassing yourself.
Inuyasha: 'SIGH*
Me: *nods*
SOOO pathetic! I mean, I know that he knows what's in my diary... But does he know that I know that he knows what's in my diary? I don't think he does, because that would make a lot of difference. Of course if he does know that I know about what he wrote in my diary and that he knows what's in my diary, then it makes all the difference to him if I know that he knows that I know that he knows what's in my diary, I mean, doesn't it? OMG I have a HEAD ACHE. This sounds SO confusing, doesn't it? Besides, I DON'T know if he knows that I know that he knows...I only know that he knows, and I don't think he knows that I know that he does. If he did, I mean...why would he be so panicky about saying something? He probably still thinks I don't know that he knows, therefore he doesn't want to have to say out loud what he wrote. Or maybe he's juggling with the idea that I might know or might not know that he knows? See, I just don't know if he knows that I know that he knows. Does Sota know? Maybe Sota knows and he's trying to convince Inuyasha, once Inuyasha knows that I know that he wrote in my diary...I mean--what should be holding him back? Especially if he knows that I know that he knows that I know that he wrote in my diary, then it should be pretty safe...I mean...unless he THINKS that he knows I know that he knows that I know what he wrote in my diary and that I don't care and won't say anything--then he'll either think I didn't mean it--that it was all a hoax or that my feelings changed or I'm not ready for a commitment! But I don't even know if he knows that I know that he wrote in my diary so I hope he can't assume that I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I know that he wrote in my diary. I'm sorry, I'm beginning to get as lost as you diary, do you think that I think too much? I think that I think too much. I also think that you think that I think too much. Do you think that I think that you think that I think too much? GOD! STOP ME!! I'M LOSING IT!!! I think, though, that you think that I think that you think that I think too much. Am I wrong in thinking that? You know what, I think I should stop thinking. Do you think I should stop thinking? I think you think that I should stop thinking. Do you think that I think you think I should stop thinking? I NEED TO END THIS MADNESS!!!
Maybe if I just start writing about other people instead of myself and observe them quietly I can keep my mind off of this.
Mom: is currently cooking
Grandpa: is currently sobbing over a broken artifact
Sota: is currently watching TV
Inuyasha: is currently torturing me by being shirtless
AGAIN.
Except this time its worse because I'm totally cracking under all this pressure and thinking. I don't know how much I can take! I mean, I'm only a fifteen year old girl! PLUS THERE'S ALL THIS OTHER STUFF I HAVE TO DO!
1. Feed Buyo and give him water (I know it SHOULD be Sota's job, but Sota argued it takes going outside and as he's grounded it's not allowed or some bull shit like that)
2. Go shopping for the house (while Mom always does this she has a dentist appointment or some crap like that)
3. Help grandpa sort out his stupid charms
4. Plan Inuyasha's "surprise" birthday party
5. Clean the windows
6. Deal with Hojo who has just arrived.
Whoopie for me. God, why do you plague me so? I'll just hide my journal under my mattress for now and deal with the boy from Hell. You know, everyone always wonders why I dislike Hojo so much, no one actually notices except Grandpa and Sota, but they always wonder.
Well, here it is:
1. He's REALLY annoying
2. His smile is SO fake it's a little creepy (and it's annoying)
3. He's such a dim-wit, I mean it's so obvious I'm not sick and when I ditched him at our "date" he still thinks I like him
4. He's TOO nice, people like that are the ones that explode at a later age and go out and mass murder
5. I think he's clinically too happy
6. He WAAAY clingy, it's like trying to drive away a starving mosquito
7. The more I see him the less attractive I find him
8. When I hear the sickening chime of his bicycle bell I want to puke and I feel the need to hide under my bed for days at a time
9. When he talks its extremely dull, he's like a human sleeping pill
10. Before I realized I liked Inuyasha I listed all the qualities the "perfect guy" would have and I said he would be the complete OPPOSITE of Inuyasha, realizing I was in huge denial at the time and though its frightening to think of it:
The guy I described was, in short: HOJO.
I leave you to chew on that eerie thought while I go to greet the leech of all happiness.
Basically, things are spiraling out of control. No matter how much I subtly try to convince Hojo to leave before Inuyasha, whose outside trimming the hedges,--still shirtless might I add--finishes with his yard work and comes inside and starts to pick a fight with him. Even without the possibility of a fight I still would want him to leave. I think that much is obvious. But the worst thing is, MOM saw my diary and I think she's SEEEERRRIIIOUSLY lost her marbles. I walked in my room and she was holding my diary, reading it--I totally flipped--but then I remembered she'd probably be mad at me for lying to her and getting Sota in trouble so I kept my cool.
She just acted TOTALLY weird.
She gently put the notebook down and stood up, staring vacantly, in my direction, but not quite at me, her eyes unfocused as if she was possessed by Naraku or something. "I can't believe..." but that's all she said. You know, now that I think about it before when she "believed" Sota, I don't think she REALLY believed him--I think she was a bit in denial--testing me... Also, maybe she read more than she knew before--because now, she's a lost cause. She sort of drifted out of my room and ever since she has NOT been the same.
All she ever does anymore is LURK. She didn't finish the lunch she was making. She hasn't been cleaning. She hasn't started dinner. Or said her pleasant hello to Hojo. I hardly ever see her, sometimes I think I get a glimpse of an Igor-ish shadow, sprinting in the halls around the corner as I walk that faintly resembles mom, but that's not the weirdest of it at all.
Alright, so now randomly, she dresses in black and pops up with binoculars, like, right in front of me when I was looking for this journal or now, when I'm writing in it, writing notes down as if she's...SPYING on my (but right in plain view) and she even says her notes out loud...and she has this insane expression on her face.
"Hour 30 of day 1 of study. Subject is writing in her notebook of evil. I watch from safe distance and can only begin to imagine what horrible things the subject could be contemplating..."
"Mom can you cut it out? " I mean, seriously. This is SO weird. "There isn't even a 30th hour in a day anyway! Bug off!" Then she said something totally weird.
"Subject acts as if she knows where I observe her in private...but I can see the alarm and lack of self-confidence in her face as she puzzles over where I am studying her from."
Whatever. Last time was weirder. When I walked in the kitchen and she immediately used some binoculars that were near the kitchen sink and looked at me with them.
Mom: The subject enters the lab where I make my experiments concerning her erratic behavior these past hours. ....day one of study, subject approaches with glass of milk and deceptive and false look of innocence on her face. I can hardly see subject with my high powered binoculars I had at the ready.
Me: Mom...I don't know if this has anything to do with what you saw in my diary, but I'm sorry if that helps...it was just in need of way to get out my honest feelings...
Mom: Subject still wears pajamas at noon and holds her glass of milk protectively, eying the refrigerator with greedy eyes. Estimated survival: ten days.
Me: AAARGH!! I give up! (I storm out)
Mom: Subject becomes hostile easily.
Me: SHUT UP!
Mom: Very hostile. Approach in future with caution.
I just wonder how long this is supposed to last. it's as if she's totally gone crazy... Maybe this diary was a bad idea after all.
Whatever, I'll cheer up when Hojo leaves...of course the scar will remain that my mother is clinically insane, but after Inuyasha's married me it'll all be dust in the wind.
Oh god, who am I kidding? I thought I already figured this out! Inuyasha would NEVER marry me! I mean...let's be realistic here! Besides Kikyo being dead and wanting him to take him to Hell and all...how am I better than her anyway? I mean...I always kind of thought she was prettier than me... Course...this is SO not making me feel better...

Kikyo's bad traits:
1. She has the personality of a dead fish
2. She's dead. I mean, COME ON
3. She lives on the very hatred that she has for Inuyasha, you'd think that's not QUITE the girl you'd wanna take home to the folks
4. She devours the souls of girls, I mean, that's just WRONG
5. She's really pale, can you say, tanning lotion?
6. She's made out of ASHES, CLAY, and SOIL...
7. She tired to kill me HELLO INUYASHA WAKE UP FROM DREAM LAND SHE'S A MURDERING CLAY POT!!

Alright, that was a little harsh, but I AM in a bad mood--I guess to be fair I should list her good qualities...
If any.
OMG I can't believe I just said that! Why am I being so mean!!? I mean, she didn't really DO anything to me...sort of except for the whole "try to kill" thing and "making me invisible to Inuyasha" and stuff...plus she took the Chikon jewel and gave it to Naraku.
Can we say mega-bitch?
But anyway, I SHOULD list her good qualities, it's only just and fair...

Kikyo's GOOD qualities:
1. She's pretty (in a creepy dead woman sort of way)
2. She was nice when she was ALIVE
3. She helps Inuyasha...sort of...
4. I mean, she wants to kill Naraku, just like us (course she gave him the jewel but...)
5. She's punctual...

Well, I still feel ok, after like ten minutes of being unable to think of anything else that's good about her I felt a sudden...cheerfulness come over me.

I just SO don't understand it.

Why the HELL is stupid Hojo still here? I mean...god! ...well I guess I sort of understand, I mean, it started snowing outside. It's only October and it's already snowing. I take THAT as a bad omen. But hey, no one ever listens to me. I'm just the weirdo sitting in the corner writing in my weird journal.

Still, though, Mom is still way weirder.

Inuyasha is too. He's been acting like a total nut case around me lately. I can tell he wants to talk to me about what he wrote in my journal...but I just can't bring myself to do it! I don't know why I'm just scared! I shouldn't be but--well--what if it really WAS a trick of Sota's? Then I'd look like a total IDIOT trying to talk to him, not to mention, even if it really WAS his, which I'm almost positive it was--what the hell am I supposed to say? Neither of us know what to say, which is the problem.

Most of me knows, though, that I should just suck it up and kiss him or something.

I think THAT would get his attention.

Oh, who am I kidding, even though I KNOW he wrote that, did he REALLY mean it? Maybe he loves me, which is totally lovely and everything...

But he probably loves Kikyo more.

Which is so stupid because it's not like I love him AND Hojo or him AND Koga or something idiotic like that. I only love HIM, I am devoted to HIM! I am panning for Inuyasha and Inuyasha ALONE! Not anyone else!! Of course...all the other guys that want me are like super delusional, creepy guys that really get on most people's nerves. I mean, they're not really attractive like Kikyo is, plus I was never in love with them before they turned psycho like with Inuyasha and Kikyo... But she still turned psycho bitch and you'd think Inuyasha could recognize that. Seems to me like he's stuck in lala land and has convinced himself Kikyo's still like she was before and he still loves her...maybe he still loves her, but there's no way she loves him any more.

Think about it. She wants to drag him to Hell. You just don't DO that with people you love. Geez.

Speaking of people in lala land...

"Hey Kagome, thought you could use these natural vitamins to spoof up your health!"

Do I even have to SAY who said that? And god, who says "spoof up", I mean--seriously...

"Uh...thanks..." GOD just SAY GO AWAY, Hojo!! I need to SAY it goddammit!! Just SAY it!! KAGOME SAY IT!! TELL HIM TO GO-A-WAY!!! "That's real nice of you Hojo!" How did "go away" turn into "that's really nice". What is WRONG with me? Lord!

"You're welcome, I see you're looking a lot better lately, I can tell you're getting healthier!! Did you put those lizards in a blender like I told you?" Now I can't stop laughing nervously like an idiot. No Hojo I did NOT put those "healthy" lizards in a blender. No I did NOT use those medicinal herbs. No I do NOT give a crap about your health talk. No I do NOT want to be your friggin' girlfriend!! But I did give those lizards to Shippo. He enjoyed them. However gross that IS. But he IS a demon. I wouldn't put it passed him...it's so easy to forget though...cause he's so cute.

SHIPPO, I mean, NOT Hojo. Lord, not Hojo.

"Kagome, have you see the--" Inuyasha has walked in and oh...my...GOD, doesn't his defined muscles look better closer up? Wait a sec...snap out of it girl! HOJO AND INUAYSHA IN THE SAME ROOM.

Oh god.

Hey, maybe if I'm lucky Inuyasha will beat Hojo so much that he can't talk!

Wait...that was really mean...

Anyway, even if he DID, that would mean Hojo would have to find some OTHER means to show his affection besides dumb health talk like--EW...I don't want to THINK about it...

"--shovel for the snow..." Hey I just realized he was out in the snow without his shirt on. Ow, talk about frost bite. It IS kind of weird though. I mean, it was all sunny and nice then it starts snowing, that's just plain freaky. The door knocks and I think I might be able to save Hojo from being maimed.

"Um--Inuyasha get the door."

"Hold on a sec," he replied, staring at Hojo with loathing.

"GET THE DOOR!!" I snarl through gritted teeth. He looks at me with a frown, then finally leaves. Aw...if you can't look at the butt, the way his back muscles move is so sexy...

OK, WAIIIT, BACK TO EARTH, NOW KAGOME! Hojo is digging through his backpack.

Lord I pray no lizards. Watching Shippo eat those is just nasty.

"These frog's legs will--"

"Gotta run!" I don't think I have ever ran any faster in my entire life. Great, MOM'S in the middle of the hallway... "MOM!"

"Hmm...subject seems hostile already..." I evade her. God, what is UP with her? Now GRANDPA'S in the way...

"What's wrong, Kagome? Why are you writing as you run, silly girl...more dirty thoughts?" I just hit him over the head with this book, hey, this diary IS a blessing isn't it? Oh god, who the HELL is that. He looks like...like...

"What the HELL was that idiot's problem at the door, he nearly KILLED me!" Okay, this guy is just way familiar, it's freaky. "Oh, hey, I came to deliver some pizza and--" the door bell rings and make a break for it. I hear that guy's quick footsteps behind me. Oh GOD, no one's persistent like that. No one but...but...

HIM.

I can't think of that right now, who ELSE will I have to shoo away--and why is there a PIZZA guy here? "Sota who was that guy--"

"I ordered some pizza!"

"Okay...why?"

"Mom refuses to cook, clean, go shopping, or much of anything at all!" he beams. How is my family always happy? Except grandpa who's always annoying? What is WRONG with them? I mean, I know I SEEM cheerful most of the time, but really it's just an act, maybe my family's acting too?

Don't know if I'd give them that much credit...

Finally, I get to the door and answer it, Inuyasha is stomping in the direction of the room Hojo is in, I find these words coming out of my mouth before I even realize, "Sit boy." Wow, why didn't I think of that before? Just to tell you, diary, Inuyasha has this prayer bead necklace (that he CAN'T take off) and if I say sit, he just crashes into the ground... Sometimes I just forget that though. It's a good thing to have, when you're dealing with some like him. "Sit!" I say again as he tries to get up. "Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!" Somewhat harsh, but hey, he's just get up if I don't--plus it IS cute when he whines...

"Kagome! WHY?!" Oh boy, I'll just get the door...

"Ma'am?" Ok, a weirdo at the door in the snow...that is beginning to turn into a blizzard...

Why do I get a really bad feeling about this?

"I need to borrow some sugar..."

"Ok...come in..." I SO regret that. Well, just when I close the door, there's another knock. Why ME?

"Huh?" I say. It's my friends. What are THEY doing here?

"Hey, Kagome, heard you were better so we came to visit."

Wow, it's so weird to see them out of their uniforms, the only days I come home have been school ones for the past several months and all I've seen those three in are school uniforms...now they're actually in normal clothes... "Ok...come in..." Is that ALL I can say? GO AWAY!! More like! MY MOM IS INSANE, there's THIS WEIRD PIZZA GUY, AND ANOTHER WEIRDO, PLUS HOJO, PLUS YOU THREE NOW?!

God, I am NEVER going to be able to talk to Inuyasha.

This is how many people there are now:

1. Mom (and she's cracked)
2. Sota (and he's annoyingly cheerful)
3. Hojo (and he's even more chipper than usual)
4. Inuyasha (he wants to kill Hojo--not that I care but--)
5. Grandpa (and he's annoying like usual plus he'll only blab about what's IN MY DIARY)
6. A pizza guy who seems ominously like Koga (that only SCREAMS trouble)
7. Yuka (she's annoying--I'm sorry)
8. Arimi (annoying)
9. Eri (annoying)
10. Weirdo guy (he's bound to have something wrong with him)

Well, whatever...guess I'll have to deal with it!

"That blizzard is really bad..." my grandfather says. Inuyasha has gotten to his feet.

"Sit!" Everyone surrounds him. Thank god for baseball caps.

"Hey, it's you! Kagome it's your boyfr--" Eri covers Yuka's mouth and points to Hojo. Oh god. Just SAY he's my boyfriend even if it's not exactly true just SAY IT SO HOJO WILL LEAVE ME ALONE!

"I HAVE your pizza," the pizza dude says holding it out.

"Um..."

"Pepperoni and mushroom, without onions." Oh my god. It SO has onions. I just know these things. Ever since I was little I could just smell something (Sota blindfolded me once to see if I could really do it) and I could just TELL there's onions in it. He even plugged my nose AND put a blindfold on me once and just set different plates in front of me. I could just TELL. Freaky, huh?

"There's onions in that pizza."

"What?" Sota takes a slice. WE HAVEN''T EVEN PAID YET! "I don't think you're right this time Kagome, I don't see any sign of onion." And by god he takes a bite and guess what? Spits out a little something, we all look to the floor and low and behold...

A piece of onion.

"Oh...my...GOD--how did you--" well pizza dude looks really impressed, "YOU CAN SENSE ONION PIECES?!!!

Now where have I heard this one before?

"We--we are competing against the Birds of Paradise pizza place next door--they have someone with the gift--I NEED YOU!!'
"Um..." Oh...my...frickin'...GOD. He takes my hands. HE TAKES ME DAMN HANDS!!

"You'll be my girlfriend." HOW COME I NEVER GET A SAY IN THIS?

"HEY!!" I hear Inuyasha's voice ring and he jumps to his feet. "I KNEW you looked familiar!! You scrawny WOLF HOW DID YOU--" But he freezes and sniffs... "You're like him but not quite..."

"Quit smellin' me you freak--just like a mutt...MUTT FACE..."

I am going to DIE.

"Attention, everyone in this house!!" My grandpa hollers...god he's loud. Everyone actually shuts up, I'm amazed... "The blizzard is so bad outside, you'll have to stay until it clears up."

What.

WHAT.

WHAT.

WHAT.

WHAT?!

No, wait. I wasn't going to die then. NOW I'M GOING TO DIE!!!