InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mischievious Inuyasha ❯ Life In Shambles ( Chapter 10 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Dini 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.13.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 400 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.13.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 400 | Status: Completed
Mischievious Inuyasha
Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with Inuyasha, which makes me really sad. Oh well. I woulda had him nekkid by now anyway. ^-~
Arigato to all who reviewed! Especially to those who told me the meaning (or tried to explain) of bozu, or bozo, and those who said they enjoy my random Japanese. Thanks to FranceGamble, also an author (and a damn good one, so check him out) for giving excellent advise.
Gomen! Sorry it's so late! My friend Brad kept wanting me to go over to his house to play on his X-box...(no sick mindedness you pervs!) And it is now about 12:32 AM, and I have just had a long session of guitar-playing with a bunch of old (but cool when drunk) guys. Can you believe they want me to go up ON STAGE to play with them in the theatre?! Yeah, me, on stage, playing bluegrass... Never gonna happen. Anyway Imma stop rambling now and get on with the chapter.
Chapter Ten: Life in Shambles
~Can I live with this pain,~
Can I die without it,
Innocent as a snow-white crane,
~Or soul-less as a life forfeit.~
Inuyasha stiffened, his heart twisting painfully in his chest, as history repeated itself. 'Just like Kikyou...' He thought, staring down into Kagome's expressive brown eyes. "Kagome-" He started, aching to explain himself.
"I don't want to hear it!" She yelled, turning her face away from his amber eyes. 'I don't want to hear that I was just the replacement. The very temporary replacement, for Kikyou...' She added to herself, her eyes filling with hot tears.
Inuyasha snapped back as if stung, and regretted yet again sending her away while Kikyou was there. 'Kuso! She thinks I betrayed her, that I used her as a replacement...I don't know what to do...Is she crying?' His attention drawn yet again to Kagome's, he noticed she had turned her face away from him, but he could still smell the salt of her tears. "Kagome? Onegai, don't cry. I-" He started again to try and explain himself, but she cut him off again.
She turned her face back to his, and he could see the tears streaming down her face. "What, Inuyasha? Are you going to tell me you love Kikyou? That you're going to be with me now that I killed her? I DON'T WANT TO BE A REPLACEMENT!" She screamed at him, each of her words tearing at his soul. Suddenly she stiffened, realising that she had...killed... a person... "I-I killed her!? What-why... I... What did I do..." She sobbed mournfully, tears flowing down her cheeks faster, dropping onto the blanket. 'I killed somebody! How could I have done such a horrible thing...'
Inuyasha could only stare at her helplessly, not knowing what to do. This was a pain he was unfamiliar with dealing with. He looked around, seeking assistance from one of the others. Sango stared back at him, tears shining in her eyes, realising the great pain her friend was in. Shippou was on Kaede's shoulder, clutching at her robes, crying loudly. Miroku was standing beside Sango, his shoulder's bent, leaning on his staff heavily. He looked at Inuyasha, but had no answer for him. Kaede's wise gaze stared into Inuyasha's eyes.
'The small glimmer of hope I saw before... It has disappeared...' She reflected.
Kagome sobbed pitifully, not paying attention to anyone else in the room. 'How can I live knowing I killed someone? How I can I live with the knowledge...the knowledge that Inuyasha loved her... and I killed her...' She buried her face in the pillow, not wanting to see the hatred she knew would be evident on his face. 'I killed his love... he has the right to hate me...'
Inuyasha stared down at her shaking form, his heart breaking. "Kagome... You were NEVER a replacement. You and Kikyou are completely different..." He trailed off, feeling inadequate.
Kagome snapped up. "So I'm not good enough for you? I could never be somebody you would love..." 'Wait... what I am saying, love? I've only known him a few days...Although I feel like I've known him a lifetime.' She collapsed into the bed again.
"How could you think that you're not good enough for me? You're too damn good for me, is the problem! I wouldn't deserve to be with you, I'm just a worthless hanyou..." Inuyasha repeated the two dreaded words, voice filled with a lifetime of pain and anguish. 'I am a worthless hanyou... I don't deserve her, not with how I've treated her...' "You deserve to be with a normal guy... Not a freak like me..." His ears drooped, and he bent his head trying to conceal the tears welling up in his eyes.
Kagome turned towards him, hating the self-hating look on his face. 'What have I done...' "Inuyasha? You are NOT worthless! You're not a freak... You are simply you, and don't try to be anything different." She told him angrily, her eyes puffy from the tears that were tapering off. Suddenly there were flashes of images in front of her eyes; one of her and Inuyasha in front of the Goshinboku, several of them arguing, and the last, one of her telling Inuyasha she liked him just the way he was. She suddenly felt a blinding pain in the back of her head, and she pressed her hands against it, moaning.
Inuyasha jumped up, startled by her sudden movement. "What? What is it? Kagome?" He started to draw Tetsusaiga before realising that he didn't need it. He knelt back down beside her, grabbing her hands and making her look at him. "What's wrong?" He asked, looking into her tear-streaked face.
She looked back at him with pain-filled eyes. "I-I think I remembered something..."
Inuyasha quickly drew in a breath, his grip tightening on her hands. "What? What did you remember?" He asked anxiously. 'I hope she doesn't remember that we aren't actually going to be mated...'
"I remembered us arguing a lot... And the night I told you I liked you just the way you were... But that's it." She told him sadly.
Inuyasha let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He smiled at her, disheartened yet relieved. "At least your memories are coming back. Do you trust me now?" He asked, trying to ignore how important the question was to him.
She looked at him, somewhat surprised he wasn't angry at her inability to remember more. "Umm yeah...I trust you more now than I did before." She answered truthfully.
Inuyasha smiled a little bit, showing a bit of fang. Then he turned back to Kaede. "Maybe you should take a look at her before she explains everything to us."
Kagome stiffened, remembering what she had done earlier. Inuyasha noticed her sudden discomfort. His warm amber eyes met her pained brown ones, and he quirked a brow at her. "You don't have to tell us right now if you don't want to..." 'But I need to know... I need to know if you actually care about me that much...' He was suddenly tense, wanting her to explain herself. Inuyasha stood up, turning his back to her, his anxiety evident.
Kagome stared at his back, unsure about his feelings. 'He is so hard to understand...' She hesitated before answering him. "I-I think it would be best if I explained while the feelings were still fresh..." She saw Inuyasha's ears perk up a little bit, and he turned his face towards her slightly.
Kaede nodded towards Kagome. After giving the girl a quick once-over to check for injuries, she nodded again assuredly. "Continue, child. Please explain as best ye can what occured between ye and Kikyou." She busied herself making remedies as she waited for Kagome to tell her story.
Miroku took his seat again on the floor, his staff jingling. Shippou jumped down to sit next to Kagome, looking up at her expectantly. Sango sat on the floor, her back up against the wall. Kirara sat on her shoulder. Inuyasha remained standing,resting in the doorway, arms crossed and one leg drawn up.
Kagome cleared her throat, a little bit embarassed to have such an audience. She looked around nervously at them, before deciding to begin with her run in the forest. "After Inuyasha sent me away, I ran as fast as I could, trying not to think about what could be happening between the two of them." Inuyasha winced slightly at this. "But I stopped as soon as I felt... *something*. I don't know what it was but it felt powerful. Then I suddenly knew. I just KNEW Inuyasha was in danger. And I rushed back the way I came." She didn't mention that she had been crying.
"You must have felt the same thing both I and Kaede did. Kikyou's miko energy." Miroku broke in.
Kagome nodded, petting Shippou before continuing. "I came running back, and I saw Inuyasha standing there, bleeding. He had a large sword in his hand, and Kikyou was glowing a bright blue. I was scared, seeing Inuyasha hurt. Then I slammed into a wall of some kind... It was like a wall, except I could feel some sort of energy coming off it, and I could see through it. I started beating on the wall, terrified Kikyou was going to kill Inuyasha." She glanced up nervously at him, worried about his feelings towards her at that moment. He stared back at her nonchalantly, his face expressionless.
"Kikyou put up a barrier. Obviously she did not want ye to interfere with their battle. The sword was Tetsusaiga, made of Inuyasha's fathers fang." Kaede told her, pausing in her duties just long enough to give Kagome a wise look.
Kagome nodded again. She moved so she was resting her back against the wall, absently plucking at her miko's robes. "I suppose..." She said uncertainly. "Anyway, apparently I distracted Inuyasha, because he turned towards me just long enough for Kikyou to throw a blue fire-ball towards him. He slammed into the tree, and I guess he was knocked unconcious. I screamed at him, I didn't get any response. Kikyou started building another deadly looking ball of energy in her hand. And I guess I just kind of lost control, I started beating at the wall, screaming at Inuyasha to wake up. Kikyou looked at me, seeming to taunt me. Then I felt this awesome POWER inside me, making my blood boil. I broke the barrier, and I ran towards Kikyou." She paused, her eyes flickering with guilt.
"I- I scared myself then, I just felt so ANGRY at Kikyou for hurting Inuyasha. I tried to punch her, but she moved. Then I turned around and hit her right in the jaw. She flew back a ways... Then she said something like, 'How could this weak girl have so much power' And before I knew it I had picked her up. Just PICKED her up, like she weighed nothing! And I threw her into a tree... I heard bones breaking..." Kagome shuddered, not wanting to remember how she had hurt somebody like that.
"I-I just couldn't get a grip on myself, I just had to stop her from hurting Inuyasha... I forgot completely about his betrayal right then..." Kagome winced, feeling the hurt anew.
Inuyasha's ears drooped, realising she still had no idea what had been going on with him and Kikyou. 'I'll have to talk to her in private, and soon.' He decided determidably.
Kagome pushed the thought of Inuyasha's betrayal aside, focusing on the task at hand. "Then I did something that I can't even describe... I had no idea how I did it... I started sending energy to my hand, and it just sort of collected there... I suppose it looked a lot like what Kikyou did, except it felt, I don't know, *stronger* somehow. I remember staring at Kikyou, hating her, and telling her it was time for her death again. She told me Inuyasha would always be hers, how he would always love her more. And the last thing she said was that I would only be the replacement. That's when I completely let loose. I screamed at her, and I-I killed her..." Kagome trailed off, repressing a sob.
They all stared at her for a moment, in total awe. Inuyasha snapped out of it first, striding over to her. He crouched down, looking her in the eyes.
"Kagome... I... I told you before that you are not Kikyou's replacement. You are better than her. You have compassion, and you except me for who I am. She...tried to change me. You shouldn't feel guilty for killing her, she was already dead." He tried to ease her pain, feeling even more inadequate then he had before.
Miroku nodded thoughtfully. "Inuyasha is right, Kagome-sama. Kikyou is at peace now, her soul was set free."
"That still doesn't change the fact that I KILLED somebody! I'm a murderer!" Kagome sobbed out, shrinking away from Inuyasha into a fetal position.
Inuyasha smelled the strong scent of her tears, and his heart twisted in his chest. 'I don't know how to deal with this... Does she need me to comfort her? I don't know how to do that...' He moved closer to her uncertainly, and he laid his clawed hand on her shoulder. He flinched when she jerked away from his touch.
"Kagome..." He looked down at her helplessly. He moved his gaze to Sango, unsure about what he should do. She nodded at him understandingly, motioning the others to leave the hut.
Kagome curled up tightly on the pallet, her body shaking with tortured sobs. After everybody had left the hut, Sango walked over to sit with her. Kagome stiffened when she felt someone sitting down next to her, expecting it to be Inuyasha. 'I just don't think I can face his hate right now... I killed his love, and no matter how he says I'm not the replacement, I'm sure he couldn't love me for me. I'm a murderer...'
She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of long black hair. "Sango?" She asked hesitantly.
Sango turned to look at her, feeling sad for her friend. "Kagome-chan, I am here for you, if you need it." She told her soothingly.
Kagome gulped, turning towards Sango. "Sango? Do-do you think I am a horrible person?" She waited hesitantly for the answer.
Sango moved quickly, wrapping Kagome in her arms. "Don't you ever think that! You could never be a horrible person. You killed Kikyou defending Inuyasha. You had no other choice!"
Kagome sobbed into Sango shoulder, clutching her tightly. "You don't understand! I killed Kikyou! And, worst of all, I-I lost control of myself! I could have hurt any of you!"
Sango pulled back, looking Kagome in the face. "Kagome, Miroku and Kaede have decided to train you to use your powers. Soon you won't have to worry about hurting any of us." She told the girl.
Kagome sniffled, rubbing at her eyes. "But...Even now I can FEEL the power coursing through my veins. I can feel the power I have, and I LIKE it!" She admitted, ashamed.
Sango gazed down at Kagome, startled by her friend's admission. "Kagome-chan... I'm sure if any of us had as much power as you, we would enjoy it as well..." She told her, unsure of how to react.
Kagome looked up at her, surprised that the older girl was not disgusted by her. "Sango...Arigato... For not fearing me." She whispered, hugging the girl tighter.
"Kagome-chan, I could never fear you. You are too good of a friend." She said assuredly, releasing her.
Kagome wiped her eyes, giving Sango a weak smile. Her smile disappeared though as she spotted Inuyasha standing in the doorway.
"Inuyasha..." She gasped, not wanting to deal with him at the moment.
He strode in, his expression pained. "Kagome, we need to talk." Sango stood up, giving her a sympathetic look, before walking out of the hut.
Kagome looked up at Inuyasha apprehensively. "I... I am sorry, Inuyasha, for killing her."
Inuyasha stared down at her in shock. "What-why would you apologize to me? You stopped her from killing me!"
Kagome sniffled, looking down at her legs and mumbling. "Because you loved her..." His sensitive ears picked it up, and he reared back, his heart thumping madly.
"You-you think I'm mad at you...for killing her...because you think I still love her? You baka!" He was so shocked, he could barely stop himself from laughing hysterically.
Kagome snapped her eyes up to his angrily. "Baka? I am not an idiot! Kikyou told me you were going to go to Hell together! That you loved her! You never said anything different. What am I supposed to think?"
Inuyasha stared down at her, shaking his head in amusement. "I don't love her anymore. I loved the old Kikyou, not this clay and bones remake. I realised that when she tried to kill me!" His eyes twinkled with withheld laughter.
Kagome's startled brown eyes met his as he told her this. "But... aren't you made at me for killing her?"
"I admit I'm a little bit surprised, but how could I be mad when you were only protecting me?" He said to her, kneeling down in front of her.
Kagome searched his face, looking for any sign of his lying. She gave him a hesitant smile when she saw none. "Alright... But there's one thing I need to know..."
Inuyasha looked up at her apprehensively. "What is it?" His eyes flickered with uncertainty.
Kagome looked down again. "How do you feel, about me?" She whispered.
Inuyasha drew in a breath. 'Am I going to be able to do this...'
He pushed her chin up, forcing her to look into his eyes.
"Kagome...I love you."
End chapter ten!
Arigato for the reviews! And soooo sorry for the lateness of the chapter. I promise chapter eleven is going to be up tomorrow!
Japanese:
Kuso- Shit
Onegai- Please
Arigato- Thank you
Baka- Idiot
Arigato! Ja ne!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything having to do with Inuyasha, which makes me really sad. Oh well. I woulda had him nekkid by now anyway. ^-~
Arigato to all who reviewed! Especially to those who told me the meaning (or tried to explain) of bozu, or bozo, and those who said they enjoy my random Japanese. Thanks to FranceGamble, also an author (and a damn good one, so check him out) for giving excellent advise.
Gomen! Sorry it's so late! My friend Brad kept wanting me to go over to his house to play on his X-box...(no sick mindedness you pervs!) And it is now about 12:32 AM, and I have just had a long session of guitar-playing with a bunch of old (but cool when drunk) guys. Can you believe they want me to go up ON STAGE to play with them in the theatre?! Yeah, me, on stage, playing bluegrass... Never gonna happen. Anyway Imma stop rambling now and get on with the chapter.
Chapter Ten: Life in Shambles
~Can I live with this pain,~
Can I die without it,
Innocent as a snow-white crane,
~Or soul-less as a life forfeit.~
Inuyasha stiffened, his heart twisting painfully in his chest, as history repeated itself. 'Just like Kikyou...' He thought, staring down into Kagome's expressive brown eyes. "Kagome-" He started, aching to explain himself.
"I don't want to hear it!" She yelled, turning her face away from his amber eyes. 'I don't want to hear that I was just the replacement. The very temporary replacement, for Kikyou...' She added to herself, her eyes filling with hot tears.
Inuyasha snapped back as if stung, and regretted yet again sending her away while Kikyou was there. 'Kuso! She thinks I betrayed her, that I used her as a replacement...I don't know what to do...Is she crying?' His attention drawn yet again to Kagome's, he noticed she had turned her face away from him, but he could still smell the salt of her tears. "Kagome? Onegai, don't cry. I-" He started again to try and explain himself, but she cut him off again.
She turned her face back to his, and he could see the tears streaming down her face. "What, Inuyasha? Are you going to tell me you love Kikyou? That you're going to be with me now that I killed her? I DON'T WANT TO BE A REPLACEMENT!" She screamed at him, each of her words tearing at his soul. Suddenly she stiffened, realising that she had...killed... a person... "I-I killed her!? What-why... I... What did I do..." She sobbed mournfully, tears flowing down her cheeks faster, dropping onto the blanket. 'I killed somebody! How could I have done such a horrible thing...'
Inuyasha could only stare at her helplessly, not knowing what to do. This was a pain he was unfamiliar with dealing with. He looked around, seeking assistance from one of the others. Sango stared back at him, tears shining in her eyes, realising the great pain her friend was in. Shippou was on Kaede's shoulder, clutching at her robes, crying loudly. Miroku was standing beside Sango, his shoulder's bent, leaning on his staff heavily. He looked at Inuyasha, but had no answer for him. Kaede's wise gaze stared into Inuyasha's eyes.
'The small glimmer of hope I saw before... It has disappeared...' She reflected.
Kagome sobbed pitifully, not paying attention to anyone else in the room. 'How can I live knowing I killed someone? How I can I live with the knowledge...the knowledge that Inuyasha loved her... and I killed her...' She buried her face in the pillow, not wanting to see the hatred she knew would be evident on his face. 'I killed his love... he has the right to hate me...'
Inuyasha stared down at her shaking form, his heart breaking. "Kagome... You were NEVER a replacement. You and Kikyou are completely different..." He trailed off, feeling inadequate.
Kagome snapped up. "So I'm not good enough for you? I could never be somebody you would love..." 'Wait... what I am saying, love? I've only known him a few days...Although I feel like I've known him a lifetime.' She collapsed into the bed again.
"How could you think that you're not good enough for me? You're too damn good for me, is the problem! I wouldn't deserve to be with you, I'm just a worthless hanyou..." Inuyasha repeated the two dreaded words, voice filled with a lifetime of pain and anguish. 'I am a worthless hanyou... I don't deserve her, not with how I've treated her...' "You deserve to be with a normal guy... Not a freak like me..." His ears drooped, and he bent his head trying to conceal the tears welling up in his eyes.
Kagome turned towards him, hating the self-hating look on his face. 'What have I done...' "Inuyasha? You are NOT worthless! You're not a freak... You are simply you, and don't try to be anything different." She told him angrily, her eyes puffy from the tears that were tapering off. Suddenly there were flashes of images in front of her eyes; one of her and Inuyasha in front of the Goshinboku, several of them arguing, and the last, one of her telling Inuyasha she liked him just the way he was. She suddenly felt a blinding pain in the back of her head, and she pressed her hands against it, moaning.
Inuyasha jumped up, startled by her sudden movement. "What? What is it? Kagome?" He started to draw Tetsusaiga before realising that he didn't need it. He knelt back down beside her, grabbing her hands and making her look at him. "What's wrong?" He asked, looking into her tear-streaked face.
She looked back at him with pain-filled eyes. "I-I think I remembered something..."
Inuyasha quickly drew in a breath, his grip tightening on her hands. "What? What did you remember?" He asked anxiously. 'I hope she doesn't remember that we aren't actually going to be mated...'
"I remembered us arguing a lot... And the night I told you I liked you just the way you were... But that's it." She told him sadly.
Inuyasha let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He smiled at her, disheartened yet relieved. "At least your memories are coming back. Do you trust me now?" He asked, trying to ignore how important the question was to him.
She looked at him, somewhat surprised he wasn't angry at her inability to remember more. "Umm yeah...I trust you more now than I did before." She answered truthfully.
Inuyasha smiled a little bit, showing a bit of fang. Then he turned back to Kaede. "Maybe you should take a look at her before she explains everything to us."
Kagome stiffened, remembering what she had done earlier. Inuyasha noticed her sudden discomfort. His warm amber eyes met her pained brown ones, and he quirked a brow at her. "You don't have to tell us right now if you don't want to..." 'But I need to know... I need to know if you actually care about me that much...' He was suddenly tense, wanting her to explain herself. Inuyasha stood up, turning his back to her, his anxiety evident.
Kagome stared at his back, unsure about his feelings. 'He is so hard to understand...' She hesitated before answering him. "I-I think it would be best if I explained while the feelings were still fresh..." She saw Inuyasha's ears perk up a little bit, and he turned his face towards her slightly.
Kaede nodded towards Kagome. After giving the girl a quick once-over to check for injuries, she nodded again assuredly. "Continue, child. Please explain as best ye can what occured between ye and Kikyou." She busied herself making remedies as she waited for Kagome to tell her story.
Miroku took his seat again on the floor, his staff jingling. Shippou jumped down to sit next to Kagome, looking up at her expectantly. Sango sat on the floor, her back up against the wall. Kirara sat on her shoulder. Inuyasha remained standing,resting in the doorway, arms crossed and one leg drawn up.
Kagome cleared her throat, a little bit embarassed to have such an audience. She looked around nervously at them, before deciding to begin with her run in the forest. "After Inuyasha sent me away, I ran as fast as I could, trying not to think about what could be happening between the two of them." Inuyasha winced slightly at this. "But I stopped as soon as I felt... *something*. I don't know what it was but it felt powerful. Then I suddenly knew. I just KNEW Inuyasha was in danger. And I rushed back the way I came." She didn't mention that she had been crying.
"You must have felt the same thing both I and Kaede did. Kikyou's miko energy." Miroku broke in.
Kagome nodded, petting Shippou before continuing. "I came running back, and I saw Inuyasha standing there, bleeding. He had a large sword in his hand, and Kikyou was glowing a bright blue. I was scared, seeing Inuyasha hurt. Then I slammed into a wall of some kind... It was like a wall, except I could feel some sort of energy coming off it, and I could see through it. I started beating on the wall, terrified Kikyou was going to kill Inuyasha." She glanced up nervously at him, worried about his feelings towards her at that moment. He stared back at her nonchalantly, his face expressionless.
"Kikyou put up a barrier. Obviously she did not want ye to interfere with their battle. The sword was Tetsusaiga, made of Inuyasha's fathers fang." Kaede told her, pausing in her duties just long enough to give Kagome a wise look.
Kagome nodded again. She moved so she was resting her back against the wall, absently plucking at her miko's robes. "I suppose..." She said uncertainly. "Anyway, apparently I distracted Inuyasha, because he turned towards me just long enough for Kikyou to throw a blue fire-ball towards him. He slammed into the tree, and I guess he was knocked unconcious. I screamed at him, I didn't get any response. Kikyou started building another deadly looking ball of energy in her hand. And I guess I just kind of lost control, I started beating at the wall, screaming at Inuyasha to wake up. Kikyou looked at me, seeming to taunt me. Then I felt this awesome POWER inside me, making my blood boil. I broke the barrier, and I ran towards Kikyou." She paused, her eyes flickering with guilt.
"I- I scared myself then, I just felt so ANGRY at Kikyou for hurting Inuyasha. I tried to punch her, but she moved. Then I turned around and hit her right in the jaw. She flew back a ways... Then she said something like, 'How could this weak girl have so much power' And before I knew it I had picked her up. Just PICKED her up, like she weighed nothing! And I threw her into a tree... I heard bones breaking..." Kagome shuddered, not wanting to remember how she had hurt somebody like that.
"I-I just couldn't get a grip on myself, I just had to stop her from hurting Inuyasha... I forgot completely about his betrayal right then..." Kagome winced, feeling the hurt anew.
Inuyasha's ears drooped, realising she still had no idea what had been going on with him and Kikyou. 'I'll have to talk to her in private, and soon.' He decided determidably.
Kagome pushed the thought of Inuyasha's betrayal aside, focusing on the task at hand. "Then I did something that I can't even describe... I had no idea how I did it... I started sending energy to my hand, and it just sort of collected there... I suppose it looked a lot like what Kikyou did, except it felt, I don't know, *stronger* somehow. I remember staring at Kikyou, hating her, and telling her it was time for her death again. She told me Inuyasha would always be hers, how he would always love her more. And the last thing she said was that I would only be the replacement. That's when I completely let loose. I screamed at her, and I-I killed her..." Kagome trailed off, repressing a sob.
They all stared at her for a moment, in total awe. Inuyasha snapped out of it first, striding over to her. He crouched down, looking her in the eyes.
"Kagome... I... I told you before that you are not Kikyou's replacement. You are better than her. You have compassion, and you except me for who I am. She...tried to change me. You shouldn't feel guilty for killing her, she was already dead." He tried to ease her pain, feeling even more inadequate then he had before.
Miroku nodded thoughtfully. "Inuyasha is right, Kagome-sama. Kikyou is at peace now, her soul was set free."
"That still doesn't change the fact that I KILLED somebody! I'm a murderer!" Kagome sobbed out, shrinking away from Inuyasha into a fetal position.
Inuyasha smelled the strong scent of her tears, and his heart twisted in his chest. 'I don't know how to deal with this... Does she need me to comfort her? I don't know how to do that...' He moved closer to her uncertainly, and he laid his clawed hand on her shoulder. He flinched when she jerked away from his touch.
"Kagome..." He looked down at her helplessly. He moved his gaze to Sango, unsure about what he should do. She nodded at him understandingly, motioning the others to leave the hut.
Kagome curled up tightly on the pallet, her body shaking with tortured sobs. After everybody had left the hut, Sango walked over to sit with her. Kagome stiffened when she felt someone sitting down next to her, expecting it to be Inuyasha. 'I just don't think I can face his hate right now... I killed his love, and no matter how he says I'm not the replacement, I'm sure he couldn't love me for me. I'm a murderer...'
She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of long black hair. "Sango?" She asked hesitantly.
Sango turned to look at her, feeling sad for her friend. "Kagome-chan, I am here for you, if you need it." She told her soothingly.
Kagome gulped, turning towards Sango. "Sango? Do-do you think I am a horrible person?" She waited hesitantly for the answer.
Sango moved quickly, wrapping Kagome in her arms. "Don't you ever think that! You could never be a horrible person. You killed Kikyou defending Inuyasha. You had no other choice!"
Kagome sobbed into Sango shoulder, clutching her tightly. "You don't understand! I killed Kikyou! And, worst of all, I-I lost control of myself! I could have hurt any of you!"
Sango pulled back, looking Kagome in the face. "Kagome, Miroku and Kaede have decided to train you to use your powers. Soon you won't have to worry about hurting any of us." She told the girl.
Kagome sniffled, rubbing at her eyes. "But...Even now I can FEEL the power coursing through my veins. I can feel the power I have, and I LIKE it!" She admitted, ashamed.
Sango gazed down at Kagome, startled by her friend's admission. "Kagome-chan... I'm sure if any of us had as much power as you, we would enjoy it as well..." She told her, unsure of how to react.
Kagome looked up at her, surprised that the older girl was not disgusted by her. "Sango...Arigato... For not fearing me." She whispered, hugging the girl tighter.
"Kagome-chan, I could never fear you. You are too good of a friend." She said assuredly, releasing her.
Kagome wiped her eyes, giving Sango a weak smile. Her smile disappeared though as she spotted Inuyasha standing in the doorway.
"Inuyasha..." She gasped, not wanting to deal with him at the moment.
He strode in, his expression pained. "Kagome, we need to talk." Sango stood up, giving her a sympathetic look, before walking out of the hut.
Kagome looked up at Inuyasha apprehensively. "I... I am sorry, Inuyasha, for killing her."
Inuyasha stared down at her in shock. "What-why would you apologize to me? You stopped her from killing me!"
Kagome sniffled, looking down at her legs and mumbling. "Because you loved her..." His sensitive ears picked it up, and he reared back, his heart thumping madly.
"You-you think I'm mad at you...for killing her...because you think I still love her? You baka!" He was so shocked, he could barely stop himself from laughing hysterically.
Kagome snapped her eyes up to his angrily. "Baka? I am not an idiot! Kikyou told me you were going to go to Hell together! That you loved her! You never said anything different. What am I supposed to think?"
Inuyasha stared down at her, shaking his head in amusement. "I don't love her anymore. I loved the old Kikyou, not this clay and bones remake. I realised that when she tried to kill me!" His eyes twinkled with withheld laughter.
Kagome's startled brown eyes met his as he told her this. "But... aren't you made at me for killing her?"
"I admit I'm a little bit surprised, but how could I be mad when you were only protecting me?" He said to her, kneeling down in front of her.
Kagome searched his face, looking for any sign of his lying. She gave him a hesitant smile when she saw none. "Alright... But there's one thing I need to know..."
Inuyasha looked up at her apprehensively. "What is it?" His eyes flickered with uncertainty.
Kagome looked down again. "How do you feel, about me?" She whispered.
Inuyasha drew in a breath. 'Am I going to be able to do this...'
He pushed her chin up, forcing her to look into his eyes.
"Kagome...I love you."
End chapter ten!
Arigato for the reviews! And soooo sorry for the lateness of the chapter. I promise chapter eleven is going to be up tomorrow!
Japanese:
Kuso- Shit
Onegai- Please
Arigato- Thank you
Baka- Idiot
Arigato! Ja ne!