InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mourning of the Bloody Valentine ❯ Laugh Out Loud ( Chapter 3 )

A/N : Wow! So many reviews! Thanks everybody! Okay...so I forgot to put a disclaimer. If owned InuYasha, Kikyo would be a gay, hairy, sweaty man, InuYasha and Kagome both Hanyou mates, and Sango would find perverse antics attractive. And Miroku and InuYasha would be strutting around naked A LOT more often. And Naraku would be in a yellow chicken suit. And Sesshomaru...WOULD LOOK LIKE A GIRL! Oh wait. He already does. ¬¬ okay, okay...so I don't own the series! (or I'd be really rich and this wouldn't be on )

.

.

Mourning of the Bloody Valentine

Chapter Three : Laugh out Loud

As I led InuYasha around, or rather, he led ME around, I started to wonder if that stalker was watching me right now. I was staring at the floor, and when I looked up, InuYasha's golden orbs were right on me. He was staring kind of...aggressively. Now, this would usually freak the heck out of me, but he was sucking on a big blue gobstopper on a stick, which had stained his lips a bright blue, and caused a large bulbous in his left cheek, making him look sort of...pouty and blue. Which was hilarious, really. I scrunched my face up to stop from laughing, but I already felt my face going blue. As I thought this, my eyes fell upon his blue stained lips and I lost it. Now I have to warn you. When it comes to laughing, I am no normal human being. I become a cackling, red-faced, wheezing, eyes-tearing, and grabbing-my-sides-to-stop-myself-from-laughing-out-a-lung who people-shake-their-heads-at-and-`tsk'-at girl. About 2 years ago, Sango and I wrote out a long list of things we would do before we died. Miroku had just been beaten brainless; which he was most of the time now that I think about it, and, at the time, we doubted he would live long with the magnitude of Sango's wallops. Sango immediately wrote, as number one; yet secret to everyone but me :

Have a totally CLEAN date with Miroku. After he asked me politely and without bribes of sex.

I had chuckled at that. Cause I knew it would only happen when Miroku was too old and senile to remember sex at all. Probably somewhere around the age of 200. Sango had slapped my arm and asked me what I had wrote. And after a moment of pondering, I wrote quickly, shielding my writing with my left hand.

Laugh so hard I go unconscious. ((A/N: That really is my do-before-die goal))

Now that's something I could really be proud of. I mean, if I laughed THAT hard, it must've been something frickin' hilarious. And that would have had to be at a party somewhere. And a party means friends, which means fun, which means alcohol! Sango liked the sound of it already. I laugh about something everyday, that I am sure of. But not something drop-dead funny.

So anyway, I was wheezing, bawling, and cackling like some evil maniac who just; after blowing the world up and kidnapping George Bush onto a spacecraft, yelled "April Fool's!" Another thing. As I laugh, I can't think, and my lungs and vocal cords take over. So, I kind of laugh repetitively. For instance: "Ah hee hee ha hee haw Ah hee hee ha hee haw" ((A/N: I am speaking from experience here, friends. Believe it. It happens to me!)) I laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I was leaning on a row of lockers for support, my convulsing, laughing head resting on InuYasha's stupefied shoulder, and I was still gripping my stomach to stop from giving away my lunch to InuYasha's shoes. InuYasha, however did not find this intriguing. I always like to hang out with people with a good sense of humor. And when I think about it, Sango isn't one of them. Miroku, definitely, if you could count his porn-based actions as funny. Kouga is more of sweep-the-girl-off-her-feet-with-my-ultimate-manliness-and-romance. Not quite ha-ha funny. Eiji? Nah, he spends the greater percent of his brainpower on internet games. Wait. I know someone. She has one class with me: Art. You could say she's kind of a hippie's-daughter-finds-even-the-stupidest-things-hilarious-and-could-laugh -down-any-other-emotion-she-would-likely-have. Her name is Katana. ((A/N: yes, I just HAD to pop me in there. Now, now, I personally find it annoying when authors put themselves in a fic, but Kagome needs someone to laugh with and Sango's angry face doesn't look too inviting.))

She's weird, not very athletic, and only 5'4. Well, I'm only 5'5, so I shouldn't be talking. She's a little on the thin side, and dresses like she doesn't care. And I don't mean she's a slut when I say that. But she can find the littlest thing and laugh about it like it was the funniest thing ever.

Well, back to the story, cuz I'm sure you find my blabbering aggravating. So, about half an hour later, I was dabbing at my teary eyes with a Kleenex, and still chuckling lightly. InuYasha was still looking at me like I had sprouted wings out of my armpits, latched a gigantic can of Lysol on my back, changed into a shirt that said `Lysol-Gal : kills 99% of bad guys' and started singing about the Facts of Life. I smiled at him, knowing that he was actually taking my laughing fit pretty well; Sango would have giggled along for a little while, then smothered me and stuck me into a locker to shut up by myself. I had a strong belief that InuYasha and I would get along just fine.

.

After school, I begged Sango to stay with me for fear of the "PINK" coming to compliment how the white from my panties and legwarmers matched. I had not seen any more of the pink squares all day; a good sign, I decided. I was kind of relieved, maybe the stalker had realized that I had the police on my side and decided to prey on someone stupider. But, I wanted to take precautions. In fact, even InuYasha decided to stay with me. Sango and I caught up on the daily gossip, who was with who, who had dumped who, and who would pulverize Miroku if he tried to touch her like that a second time. A hint perhaps? Maybe it was a little too subtle, because he did it again, and she smashed him with a bike. She got so caught up in chasing after him and trying to hit him more that she had left the school grounds completely. I was giggling over the whole ordeal, just knowing how very typical the situation was. InuYasha cleared his throat beside me, and I remembered he was there too. So, I tried to make some small talk.

"So, uh, what school did you come from, InuYasha-kun?"

He kind of looked down as I said his name. "Oh, uh, from Kyoto."

"What's it like over there?"

"Uh...I dunno."

"Alrighty then. So you're saying u were home schooled, never saw the daylight, never spoke with anyone from the "outside world", got served cold meals from a slot in your door, and haven't had any physical contact in over 10 years?"

"No! I just...don't know what to say about it." He was flabbergasted. ((A/N: how I love that word!))

I laughed, "I was just kidding. No need to get defensive. It's okay, I understand what you meant." I smiled warmly to try and melt some of the ice-cold tension. InuYasha smiled meekly back at me, and deciding that I could use a good guy friend, draped my arm around his neck from the side, about to give him a noogie. Apparently he took this the wrong way, and as I was going to noogie the heck out of him, he grabbed my waist, and kissed me on the mouth. It was a sweet kiss, but not exactly gentle. A little desperate on his part. I was just standing there with my eyes wide open, and my mouth would've been the same, if his lips hadn't latched themselves onto mine. Finally I kissed him back gently and pulled away. He pulled away too, and immediately began apologizing. I silenced him by brushing my lips against his, then pulled away entirely, cooked-beet red. We both looked away for a while, then he hugged me from behind. We sat watching the sunset like that for a while, until I heard a car approaching. I wiggled out of his arms, and smiled a good-bye to him. I ran up to my mother's now waiting car, and waved as I got in. After we drove off and telling my Mom the good news of how the stalker was gone, I looked out the window and touched my lips gently. We had only just met, but, I had a strong belief that InuYasha and I would get along fine. Just fine.

.

.

.

.

A/N : Whee! Another chapter finished! Hm. Now if I write one chapter per day, we will have a total of about 25 chapters before school starts. I know I won't be able to write as much when school starts so I'm really hoping I can finish this fic before then. Which means I need a lot of motivation. Which needs REVIEWS! And a giant thank you sign to those who have been reading and reviewed. Please, review for each chapter! I feel more important that way ;) okay...how about some extra bloopers? And sorry if they're not funny, but I find them funny. I'll pop some in when I get a bunch of reviews and in a good mood:

BLOOPER:

Wait. I know someone. She has one class with me: Art. You could say she's kind of a hippie's-daughter-finds-even-the-stupidest-things-hilarious-and-could-laugh -down-any-other-emotion-she-would-likely-have. Her name is...SESSHOMARU IN A BEAVER SUIT WITH BUCK TEETH AND SHIFTY EYES.

BLOOPER: After we drove off and telling my Mom the good news of how the stalker was gone, I looked out the window and touched my lips gently. We had only just met, but, I had a strong belief that InuYasha and gay Kikyou would get along fine. Just fine.

BLOOPER:

Katana walks into writing room, where InuYasha is sitting, with his shirt off, facing the opposite way.

Katana: o.o drool

InuYasha turns his head around, his face covered in make-up and his bangs in curlers

Katana: O.o

InuYasha turns his body around, showing implant breasts

Katana: 0.0 WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU USE FOR THOSE??!!

InuYasha purrs, "You don't want to know..." winks

Katana looks down to his deflated part of his groin, and InuYasha nods excitedly

Katana: O.O

Katana wakes up screaming, realizes it was a dream. She sighs with relief, but then Toutousai sits up from his place in the bed

Toutousai: What's happened, sweetbreasts?

Katana screams.

((A/N: I resent that. points upwards)) R&R please, guys!