InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Shot Series ❯ Scars ( Chapter 3 )

“Scars,” by Papa Roach

 

 

*I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much *

 

`Foolish, foolish Kagome! Why torture yourself like this? You know it'll happen all over again,' Kagome chided herself.

 

She looked over her bruised arms. They were full of scratches, cuts, and black and blues. She only stayed in the same house, same place just for him to come to her. Even though she has thought about moving, he would just find her by her scent.

*My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel *

 

Kagome remembered the day they defeated Naraku. Sango and Miroku were killed along with Kirara. Shippo was killed along with their other friends. Kikyo already went back where she belongs and her half of the soul went back to Kagome. Koga already gave them the two shards. So, the Jewel was whole, the only thing is to know what to do with it. It was either take it with her to her time or stay in the Feudal Era to be a full time priestess.

 

But, her plans changed when she felt a hand around her neck and she felt her body slammed against a tree. She met two fierce amber eyes that she never thought that she would see.

 

“InuYasha?” Her voice quivered with fright. This isn't the InuYasha she met before.

 

“Give me the damn Jewel, wench. I am going to be a full demon,” he growled.

 

“But, but you told me that you changed your mind!” she cried. She felt his grip tighten around her neck, making it harder to breathe.

 

“Keh, and you believed me? You are such a stupid human!” he laughed and flung her across the air. She slammed hard on the ground, knocking the wind out of her.

 

InuYasha walked to her and grabbed the Shikon no Tama that was around her neck. She saw the Jewel glowing dark; she feared the worst.

”I wish to be a full demon,” InuYasha wished. The markings of a demon appeared before he eyes.

*Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone *

 

Kagome couldn't go back to her time since the Jewel no longer existed. She felt alone, scared, and empty. She didn't have her friends to keep her company. There was Kaede, but she was dying from an unknown illness, according to their time.

 

Each night, she would drink sake to numb the pain, to get rid of what will happen that night, when InuYasha would come to the hut.

*I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home *

 

Yes, she did not live with InuYasha. She lived very far away from him. But somehow he would go to her home and fuck her senseless. Although, she would let him do it because she loved him still.

 

Sometimes he wouldn't leave her side after the “making love.” He would continue every time he had the feeling.

 

`Just go, why can't you just go away?' she would cry to herself.

*Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself *

 

Kagome looked outside her window. She felt that there was still the human side of InuYasha, lingering somewhere inside that beast. Maybe the monster was taking that pain and was inflicting it to Kagome. That means that Kagome was taking it all in. How can that make him any better? How can she help him make him feel better?

*You're making me insane
All I can say is*

 

This has been going on for a year and she was only sixteen years old. She looked at her yellow book bag. She walked towards it and unzipped it. She took out a pocketknife and pushed a button and a blade popped out.

 

Kagome examined the blade. It was encrusted with dry blood, her blood. After many times of him beating her when she refused to have sex with him and gripping her tightly when she tried to run away.

 

After so many times of being the victim to his pain and/or anger, she couldn't take it anymore. She felt numb and used, fake and dirty. So she took the blade and cut herself. She would watch herself bleed and sighed in relief. She would feel alive and breathing.

*I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much *

 

The way she was using her love for him was not the way she expected. Kagome felt like she was abusing it, using it. This was not how she wanted to love him.

*And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel *

 

The girl took another look at her scars. She knew that this is reality, not fantasy, no matter how much she tried to deny it. Sure she can't change the past, but she can change the future. She knew what she had to do, but can she do it?

*I tried to help you once
Against my own advice *

 

During the first month, she remembers, that she tried to convince him to unwish the wish he made, that it wasn't the true him. Even though she knew that he wasn't listening, she kept trying. As she could see, it hasn't been working.

*I saw you going down
But you never realized *

 

Each night that he went to her hut, he was haggard and filthy. He lost the shine in the silvery hair that she loved. The ears that she always loved to touch were shabby.

 

`What happened to you InuYasha? How can that Jewel change you so much inside and out? Is there any more humanity left inside you? Is your human heart lost inside a never-ending vortex of dark shadows?' she always thought.

 

*That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand *

 

No matter how many times she tried to give a helping hand, he always pushed it aside.

 

“No! This is what I wanted it to be bitch, why are you always trying to help me when I don't need it? Stupid wench, why can't you mind your own damn business,” he would tell her.

 

Bit by bit, those words would shatter her spirit.

*Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand*

 

Kagome couldn't help it. She has compassion, love, kindness, concern, and so much more that can make a person as pure as she is.

 

But tonight, she would push that entirely aside and become someone she is not. She just hoped that the gods would forgive her. Including Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kirara and the Kaede that would soon join them. Deep inside, she would hope that her InuYasha would forgive her.

 

*I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone *

 

“This is not the time to be weak Kagome. You must do this, it's the right thing to do,” Kagome kept telling herself over and over. She went over to her table and opened a drawer. She pulled out a small, lethal blade that was once Sango's. It had poison that kills a demon, not human.

 

She put it in the sleeve of her priestess kimono. She pulled back tears; she knew it was not the time to do this.

*You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home? *

 

Her powers went on overdrive. She knew that he was near, coming fast. She took a deep breath for bravery.

 

`You can do it girl, don't back down now,' she told herself.

*Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand *

 

Kagome felt a hand on her wrist and was pulled around to face the demon she once loved. She gazed at the purple stripes that were on his face, the blood red eyes, and the perilous fangs that were just poking out of his mouth.

*And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand *

 

“Are you ready my bitch or are you going to fight back again?” he asked in a voice that wasn't his. Instead of his light, semi-cheerful voice, instead it was low, raspy, and deep.

 

“No, I will not do it anymore. I will not be your doll that gets beaten and toss around,” she whispered, “No more, just no more!”

 

InuYasha growled very deeply in his throat. Just as about he was to strike her, she pulled the blade and sliced him across his chest. He howled as his skin was burning.

*But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself *

 

InuYasha collapsed onto his knees, hugging his stomach and panting. He looked up to see Kagome's gloomy eyes. He looked back down, staring to the ground.

 

The girl walked towards him with cautiousness. She knelt beside him and held him. The demon was too weak to fight back. He felt his life leisurely floating away.

*I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried *

 

“I'm sorry, I really am. I tried helping you and myself,” she told him in his ear, “I can't be with you anymore, not like this. This isn't what it's supposed to be.”

 

InuYasha's demon blood died and before her was the human InuYasha. Kagome was aghast. What does this mean? Maybe the poison did more than she thought. Is he going to die too or will he live?

*I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself *

 

“I'm sorry Kagome, I am. I tried to stop it, but it was too strong. I love you, but not like that. That is not how I wanted to show you,” he gasped. He fell on to the floor. His breath was becoming shallower by the second.

 

Tears were forming in her eyes. Of course the blade, not the poison, would kill the human side. Kagome started to bawl.

 

“I'm sorry InuYasha! Please wait for me, I love you too,” she cried.

 

InuYasha made an attempted smile; he was becoming too weak. His eyes were gradually closing and his breath stopped.

 

Kagome was alone now. All the memories that she will have are the scars on her arms and other parts of her body. Just beyond, she heard a gong. Kaede was gone too.

 

She felt alone in the world now. She had no way back home; she was stuck in the era. What can she do now?

 

Kagome caught a twinkle and she gasped. It was the Jewel! She grabbed it and held it. It surely was. Kagome then grabbed her backpack and walked outside. She still had matches in the book bag and lit the hut on fire. She watched as the hut was burning along with InuYasha's body.

 

Kagome walked to the well and took one last look of the past, the real, true past.

 

“I must go on and live my life,” she said the era and her friends, her dead friends. She jumped into the well and was back home to her family.

 

She knew she helped InuYasha, in a way. At least she tried, right? But now, she can live the life she had before she fell into the well a year ago. The only difference is that she has the Jewel with her.

 

Kagome stepped into the sunlight. Time to move on her life.

 

*But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life*