InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Suppression ❯ Chapter 8 ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter 8

 

Inuyasha grabbed a blanket and set himself up in front of the fire. Sesshoumaru was sitting on the futon watching him quizzically. “As you said, the futon is large enough for both of us,” he stated.

 

“Is that a good idea? I mean you got upset last time...” the hanyou answered him. Inuyasha was a bit nervous about sharing the futon: one because he didn't want to upset his brother if he happened to touch him again and two because he was unsure of what he would do if he did touch his brother's beautiful body again.

 

“I cannot run and hide from this anymore. I know the reason for my discomfort and I believe I can control it and not be overwhelmed,” Sesshoumaru informed him.

 

Inuyasha had to admit he was pretty impressed with his brother's reserve of strength and resoluteness. I'd be such a mess if this happened to me. For the first time, feelings of hero worship began to form inside the hanyou as he looked at his brother.

 

“If you are uncomfortable…” Sesshoumaru began.

 

“No, I can share. It doesn't bother me a bit,” Inuyasha returned, squaring his shoulders. If his brother could handle it, then so could he. He walked over and plopped down on the left side of the bed, leaving the demon lord to get comfortable on the right. Inuyasha let loose a huge yawn and stretched before making himself comfortable in the soft coverings. Ten minutes had not yet passed before Sesshoumaru heard his younger siblings breathing deepen in sleep.

 

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, but sleep evaded him. He laid there as various thoughts and recollections ran through his mind like a promenade of horrors. It seemed that once the memories started coming they wouldn't stop no matter how hard the taiyoukai tried to deny them. Unable to stay still any longer, he gently left the futon, glancing at his brother who was sleeping on his back with one hand curled by his head, the other arm thrown out to the side. The taiyoukai began to pace back and forth in front of the still burning but dying fire.

 

Inuyasha awoke a couple of hours later, knowing that his brother was no longer beside him. Shaking off the bleary eyes of sleep, he propped himself up on his elbows to see Sesshoumaru pacing around the red coals of the fire pit. He sat up fully and called out his brother's name.

 

“I did not mean to wake you,” the taiyoukai told his brother as he stopped his pacing.

 

“That's alright. Did you have a dream?” the hanyou questioned.

 

Sesshoumaru returned to the futon and sat down on his side of it. “No, no dreams. It's just…”

 

“Just what?” Inuyasha prodded.

 

“What if I hurt Rin?” Sesshoumaru replied with a twinge of fear in his voice. “You do not understand. Father was not always hurting me. He was kind, gentle. He taught me the martial arts, swordsmanship. He would carry me on his shoulders and show me interesting things. There were good times, laughter and affection aside from the…other things. But then if there was good in him, then that makes me the bad one, doesn't it? I had to have done something to make him do those things. What if I do those things to Rin?”

 

“Sesshoumaru, no matter how nice he was, he is still to blame. He was the adult; he guided you; he manipulated you. It wasn't your fault.” Inuyasha proclaimed firmly. “Now as far as Rin, do you think about doing those things with her?”

 

“No, it disgusts me. I do not wish to defile her in such a way,” Sesshoumaru exclaimed vehemently.

 

“Then you won't.”

 

“You seem very certain,” Sesshoumaru replied, still unsure of himself.

 

“I am. I've never known anybody that's able to control themself as well as you. I envy your ability to stay cool and collected no matter what. I'm always flying off the handle, getting upset, not being able to think clearly. If you don't want to hurt Rin, then you won't; plain and simple.” Inuyasha yawned and lay back on the futon closing his eyes.

 

He opened them wide when he felt claws gently caressing though his bangs. His brother was leaning on the stump of his left arm looking down at him, his face inches from Inuyasha's, combing the fingers of his right hand through his hair. Inuyasha reached up, his heart pounding in his chest and touched his brother's lips. “This is dangerous,” he whispered to his sibling.

 

Sesshoumaru continued to stare down at him, his expression unreadable. He stilled his hand on the top of the hanyou's head, not saying a word.

 

Kami help me, Inuyasha thought as he pulled his brother to him. Clutching at his brother's haori, he kissed him, gently at first, then with more urgency as feelings he didn't understand coursed though him.

 

Sesshoumaru remained compliant throughout, opening his mouth to receive his brother's tongue when the hanyou pressed it against his lips.

 

Inuyasha could feel his body becoming flushed and hot as their tongues touched and stroked against each other. What am I doing? This isn't right, I've got to stop! We're brothers, we're both guys. This is so wrong. Even though he thought those things and knew they were right, his body was telling him to continue. The taste of his brother was intoxicating to him and he held the kiss as long as he could before he had to stop to take a breath of air.

 

“I can't do this,” he rasped out huskily to his brother who was still leaning over him, looking down into his golden eyes.

 

“Why?” Sesshoumaru asked. “I can tell you are aroused, you want this. Why not just take what you want?”

 

Inuyasha looked back into his brother's cool yellow eyes in confusion. Why is he going along with this? He sat up and moved away from the taiyoukai, blushing hotly. “I can't, it's not right and…”

 

“And?” Sesshoumaru questioned.

 

“And you don't want this,” Inuyasha blurted out. He could tell his brother had not been stimulated by their kiss and he couldn't blame him after all that had happened in his past. How could I do that to him? He's never going to forgive me, he'll kick me out now.

 

“You care how I feel, what I want?” Sesshoumaru asked as he too sat up on the futon.

 

“Of course, why would you think I wouldn't?” Inuyasha bowed his head, his ears drooping, waiting for his brother to yell or curse him. “Kami, I'm…sorry,” he apologized feeling totally miserable.

 

Inuyasha didn't realize it, but he had just passed an important test. The demon lord had not only been worried about Rin, but he had also begun to question his brother's motives in staying with him and helping him. Is he like father? Sesshoumaru had wondered.

 

One of the recollections Sesshoumaru had had today had been when he had been pinned under some rocks. He had been out with his father at one of his friends palaces and had been playing with the other children at the bottom of a cliff. The side of it had given way and he had become trapped under the landslide. His father came over, but instead of helping, had stood over him. Sesshoumaru looked up at him, unable to open his mouth to ask for help because of the fear building within him at the expression in his father's eyes.

 

“Favour for a favour,” the older inu had whispered, leaning over the trapped pup. He only helped his son when the boy had agreed.

 

His father was always lulling him into a false sense of security by smiling and making things look safe and then he would pounce. Kindness, such as Inuyasha was showing him, was always expected to be repaid. Sesshoumaru had purposely instigated this in order to test that belief.

 

Sesshoumaru reached out and pulled the hanyou to him, hugging him to his chest, for the first time in his life completely trusting in another. “Do not fret,” he told his sibling as he let him go. The demon lord lay back on the futon, patting the empty space beside him. “Come to bed, you're tired.”

 

Inuyasha was totally disoriented and bewildered by his brother's reaction to what had just happened. “Maybe I should sleep on the floor,” he returned, unsure of himself and the situation he was currently in.

 

“Do not be foolish, lie down and go to sleep,” Sesshoumaru ordered. “I trust you,” he added quietly.

 

Inuyasha crawled under the blanket and made sure that he was not in danger of coming in contact with his brother, certain that he would be lying awake the whole night.

 

It wasn't long until both were sleeping soundly.