InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Are You? ❯ Chapter Nineteen Alternate ( Chapter 28 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter Nineteen

Resurrection

Why did I keep thinking about Naraku? Why did I feel so guilty about killing him like that? I looked at Tensaiga. Well, I had only promised that I would kill him. I had never said a word about not bringing him back.

What? I leaned back against the tree. What was I thinking? I hated that obnoxious asshole. Well, maybe if he would just apologize to Rin… I knew that the idea was that I had used him and then disposed of him. But… For some reason, it didn't feel right leaving him dead like that. He was the first person who… Why him? Ah, but didn't he love me? Yes. He had loved when I had slammed Tokijin through his face. He hadn't wanted to kill me. Was that what love is?

He didn't have to have let me find him. I think a part of him had still been hoping that I may have changed my mind.

I replayed the scene in my mind. He had taken the Jewel Shard from the boy's, Kohaku's, back, and left him dead. The boy had tried to fight him, but all in vain. He had just completed the Jewel when I found him. Had he been going to use it to become a full-blooded youkai? It saddened me. I wanted him as a hanyou… Why was that? I hated half-demons. Then again, he wasn't born of a human and a demon. He was created from pieces of each.

I wanted him to wrap his arms around me again. Damn it. That bastard. What had he done to me?

I could stand this no longer. I rose and took to the air without bothering to explain to Jaken (who was now wailing) about where I was going.

The place was easy enough for me to find; it still smelled like Naraku. It had been completely undisturbed, too. I looked around, trying to find even a piece of his body. It had taken a bit of time, but it had dissolved. All I needed was a piece of his body, and… I sniffed, trying to find where the smell was strongest. The boy's rotting corpse was stinking. It distorted my sense of smell in a most unpleasant manner.

Where was it? I would go utterly insane if I couldn't resurrect Naraku. I scanned the ground. I saw something lying, partially hidden, in the grass. I practically flew to it. Just a little piece of bone, about the length of my finger. But it was Naraku's.

I drew Tensaiga, and I looked for the little creatures from hell that I had to kill. (Author of fanfic has temporarily forgotten their official title.) For a moment, I panicked because I couldn't see them, then they appeared. I swung Tensaiga through them and waited. Would it still work, even though the body was mostly gone?

The seconds felt like hours. Had I failed?

If I had failed… Then the only person who had… He had loved me, and I had killed him. I didn't regret killing him. But I would regret it if I couldn't resurrect him. And I continued to hate him for making me feel that way.

Relief flooded me when I saw the bone begin to move, transform, enlarge and finally take shape. Naraku was lying on the ground, eyes closed. He sat up and looked at me. For a long time, neither of us said anything, then he stood up, averting his eyes. “I have something for you.” He lifted his right arm. He was holding my left arm—the one that had fallen into hell with So'unga. I almost started screaming about him not also having So'unga, but stopped when he forced it towards me.

I took my limb. I looked from it to him again, but I could think of nothing to say.

“You could at least thank me, you know.” He looked back at me. “I spent a week in hell, and I took the time to get that for you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You didn't know that I would resurrect you.”

“I had hoped you would come to your senses. Also, I…” He looked me right in the eyes. My own softened, just a little bit. “I wanted you—and I thought the closest I would ever have again would be that arm. But you should have it.”

I looked at it. It was exactly as it had been before—as if it were still alive and attached to me, but it wasn't. Not yet, anyway. I held it up to the stump of my left arm. Because the arm had begun to grow back, this was going to hurt more than it would otherwise. My body would try to undo the growth. It would be a lot like all the flesh, muscle, and bone of my arm being compacted. Exactly as I had anticipated, it was excruciatingly painful. I made no noise, nor did I show a flicker of the pain I felt. What was most disturbing about it, though, was the noise. It was bone grating against bone, and it was enough to make my skin crawl to possess the knowledge that it was my own.

After the grating stopped and my arm was once again its proper length, I raised the arm and flexed my fingers again. After going so long without it, I was bound to forget that I even had it from time to time, similar as to how I had felt like it was still there when I knew that it wasn't in the beginning.

Naraku seemed to be waiting for something. What? Then I remembered. I looked away. This was going to be hard. Very hard. This just wasn't something I did. I didn't do two things: I did not apologize, and I did not say “thank you.” “Arigatou,” I said.

“That was very difficult for you, Sesshomaru,” he commented. I looked at him. “I am honored.” He turned away from me and began to walk away. “I will leave you now. Thank you—for reviving me.”

I wanted to stop him. I wanted to tell him to stay with me, but my pride leaped in my way, and I said nothing. Outside, I was calm and uncaring. Inside, I was screaming.

He looked back over his shoulder, pausing. My hope escalated. “Unless you want me to stay?”

I looked at him contemptuously. “Continue living, if you wish. But I did not resurrect you for myself,” I lied smoothly. “There are others who have more of a right to your life than do I.”

I turned away from him and began to walk away. “You're a liar,” he said softly. I turned back around, but he was gone.

I was confused. Had he somehow manipulated me? Was he using me? Did he know, somehow, that I would revive him? Had I even killed him?

I considered that last question. I had made sure in that week of his death that he was gone. Then there was that he had my arm. Strange as that was, I couldn't deny that he had gone to the underworld, and he had seemed to come back to life after I used Tensaiga. I looked at my left arm. This arm was no illusion. It wasn't a trick. This was my actual arm. I had seen it fall into hell myself. He had given this to me, for whatever reason. Maybe… Perhaps he had anticipated me resurrecting him, and as a precaution, to ensure that I would be in good spirits, he had retrieved my arm.

So, if he was using me, what had he gained from going to hell?

But no matter how I thought of it, I couldn't think of anything. I took to the air again, trying to imagine what Naraku had gained. Perhaps, he had gained nothing physically. Possibly, he had desired…

I don't know.

Maybe just to see if I would do it.

But that was really stupid. I thought of the Shikon no Tama. No, if he was just experimenting with me, then he would have found a way to safeguard the jewel. He had gone through a lot to get this, and it was just unlikely that he would have left it with me.

Maybe…

Maybe he was telling the truth. As crazy as that idea was, it was the only one of them that made sense.

*****

Author's Note: The next chapters are as follows: Original Chapter Nineteen: Denial, Original Chapter Twenty: Choices, and Original Chapter Twenty-One: Spider and Moon. (Trying to keep as close to the original storyline as I can, and I discovered that some of these chapters were still useable.)