InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Windows on the West ❯ A Most Important Question ( Chapter 43 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

A/N:  I really love the way this one turned out, and I hope everyone else does, too!

~oOo~

Contented, Sesshoumaru leaned back against his chosen tree, and his gaze swept over his pack as they all slept peacefully, unaware of his silent watch over them.  It was good, he decided, to be part of a pack – though there were times he wished to be alone, those were few and far between, and even then, those desires only lasted for a few hours.

He had spent too much time alone when he was chasing Supreme Conquest, as Jaken was no sort of company on his own, and now, he could not imagine going back to his previous way of life.

Shaking his head, he decided that he never would – that old life had been cold, and empty of any real meaning.  Kagome had been completely correct – if he had continued on in his steps, there was no question he would eventually have gained what he sought.  But it would have been a cold, empty victory, and in the end, the victory would have caused him the loss – because he would have lost himself, becoming nothing more than an empty husk moving through each day mechanically, doing what was expected of him by those he had conquered.

He would have stifled and died in such an atmosphere.  No... as an inu, and as a male, he needed his freedom, because he would have become nothing more than a fake human, living in a palace and ruling others from afar.  He needed the contact with the land, and he needed the freedom to roam as he pleased.

She knew me, even then, better than I knew myself, he mused, his eyes pulled to her as she shifted in her bedding, her face scrunched up as she reacted to something in her dream, and mumbled at it.  He almost smiled.

Yes... she knew me then, and she knows me now.  And it is time to take her aside, and explain the meaning of her wardrobe change.

Tomorrow...

He spent the rest of the night considering how to go about presenting his desires to her... and hoping that she would accept his courtship.  Because if she did not, he would have to take the time to convince her.

One way or another, she would, eventually, be more than just his pack's alpha female.  After all, he had plenty of time to make it happen.

~oOo~

Kagome shivered, frowning just a little as she knelt next to the fire, intent on making breakfast for everyone.  She'd felt strange since waking – as though something big was coming.  But she didn't feel as though there was any danger – just as though life, as she knew it, was about to change.

That was making her nervous, because she didn't really want things to change.  She wanted to stay right where she was, for the rest of her long, long life.  Only one change could possibly make her happier, but that thing was as likely as Jaken suddenly giving birth.  So anything else that could change, wasn't something she would be pleased by.

And that's why she was so on edge; startling when the kids spoke a little loudly, she almost dropped the pot of boiling water for the tea into the fire, and came close to burning herself badly.  If it hadn't been for Sesshoumaru catching the pot, and her, she would have been very seriously injured.  She lifted a wide-eyed gaze to his, intending to thank him, but something in his eyes...

She blushed, instead, and the words froze in her throat as she stared, mesmerized, into his golden eyes.  They were even more beautiful close up – not one single, flat color, but so many shades of gold, from light, to burnished, and then flecks of amber.  She swallowed heavily, even as she wondered what the look in them was.

Sesshoumaru set the pot of water aside with one hand while the other still held her wrist, and stared right back into her eyes, as fascinated as she was.  Not even noticing he was doing it, he started rubbing his thumb over her wrist, and as she started, her eyes widening, he blinked, and asked,  “You were not harmed?”  softly.

Unable to speak, she was so spellbound, she simply shook her head, not knowing what to make of what he was doing.  But it felt so good, what he was doing to her wrist, his gentle touch awakening something in her she'd never really felt in that way before – desire.  

After a few more moments of watching Kagome, Sesshoumaru stood up, pulling her with him.  “Allow Rin to steep and serve the tea, miko, and enjoy your breakfast.  Once you are done, this Sesshoumaru desires to speak privately with you.”

Kagome finally managed to find her voice.  “About what?”  she asked, its tone a bit husky as she forced her throat to work.  Embarrassed, she cleared it, and looked down at her feet.

There was a silence for a moment, and then,  “Did I not tell you I would explain your new clothing at a point when I could speak to you alone?”  His voice also held a husky note, though he was not embarrassed that it was so, and did nothing to try to change it – especially when he noted the tiny shiver from Kagome as it washed over her.  

He took a discreet sniff, and his eyes narrowed as he caught the hint of arousal that was now lacing her normal delicate scent, and making it a thousand times more delicious.  She does desire this one!  he thought triumphantly, his surety of her positive response to his desires going higher.  With an inward sense of satisfaction that he couldn't entirely hide, he let go of her wrist, and stepped back, allowing her to take her bowl of food and settle down away from the fire.  

With one last glance at her flushed cheeks, he moved to the edge of camp and stared out at the forest, almost impatient for one of the first times in his life as he waited for her to finish her food.  He used the time to reinforce his iron control over himself, and to begin to think on one of the biggest steps in the courtship, and one of the few structured ones.  

In a courting, it was mostly left up to the individual how they went about it, but there were a few things that were required – one of those being clothing gifted with the male's crest, and another, the most important, actually... each male had to create something themselves, with no outside interference, that was suited to the female's personality to gift to her before any mating could take place.  It was to show that he understood her, ensuring that the mating would be successful.  Those who rushed through such a thing, sometimes ended up in very unhappy matings.

With Kagome, he wasn't sure what to make.  She wasn't like most youkai females, and the normal gifts that were created for them would not work.  She also wasn't like most human females, who liked costly jewelry, or other finery that could be made relatively easily.  No... his chosen was unique – and her gift must be equally as unique.  But it also must be something that suited who she was... and that was where the difficulty came in.

What could he make, that would honor all that she was?

He knew this was something he would be thinking on a great deal until he had found the most appropriate thing.  And he was satisfied with that – he refused to rush such a thing, because he wanted everyone who saw her aware of her importance to him without him having to say a word.

He was, after all, a male of few words, and appreciated anything that spoke without the need for them.

His thoughts were interrupted by a hesitant clearing of a throat behind him, and he turned his head to look at her over his shoulder.  After a moment, he looked up at Jaken, who was watching them both with eyes bugging out.  “You know what to do.  We will return shortly, and I will expect to find everything exactly as it is now.”  As Jaken nodded hastily, he gestured to Kagome to follow him, and then began to move out of camp, leading her slowly through the trees.

He had chosen to bring her to this place, hoping that she would remember the first time they had come here – and what he had said to her.  He wanted to let her know that his thoughts had changed since that time...

When the trees opened up and the land around became visible, Kagome gasped, her stunned eyes taking in a place she hadn't seen in over three years.  Little had changed since then, his father's once grand palace still nothing but ruins.  She came to a stop as he also halted, and stared at it for a few moments, taking in the view.  Last time they had been here, it had been at night, and while the moon had been bright and full, still, it was a different experience to see it during the day.

Her brow furrowed, then, and she wondered; why had he brought her here again?   For it was obvious from his expression that it had been a deliberate destination.  Had he, perhaps, figured out how she felt about him, and wanted her to understand that he still viewed love as a weakness?  That he would not return her feelings, and that she needed to get past them?  

Throat tight, she continued to stare at the grand ruins, and asked softly,  “Why did you bring me back here to this place, Sesshoumaru-sama?”  Her voice was small, distant, and he narrowed his own eyes on her.

“So you do remember this place, miko.  This one wondered if you would.  Do you remember what I told you when we were last here?”  he returned, his own voice quiet and cool.

Still without looking at him, she nodded.  “Yes.  That changing yourself for someone else was folly.  I figured out then that it was your father, and his situation with Izayoi, that had caused you to believe that love was a weakness.”

He moved to stand next to her.  “And yet, for all that this one believed that, you are not weak.  It took me a very great amount of time to admit to myself that you were strong, despite your highly emotional makeup.  Thus, you were a puzzle to me.  You still are, and most likely always will be, in some ways.”  He shot her a sideways glance, noting the sadness in her eyes.

“I still believe that to change yourself to suit another is folly.  If the other person does not care for you as you are, then anything you create between each other is false.  But...”  he paused, and his voice lowered, almost as though he was speaking to himself,  “... I have changed a part of my beliefs, because of your presence, Kagome.  You have shown me that there is, instead, strength in caring, rather than weakness.”

Kagome's eyes widened, and she spun to face him, her hand going up to cover her heart at the shock of his words.  “Do... do you mean that, Sesshoumaru?”  she asked breathlessly.

It was the first time in several years she had addressed him without the honorific, and he found that the sound of that more intimate mode of address from her pleased him greatly.  He nodded.  “I do not say what I do not mean, you know this.”

Her eyes searching his, she smiled a little, and then turned away again, a slight flush hitting her cheeks at talking of such things in his presence – it caused her love of him to surge within her, and it was so hard to hold back from throwing herself at his feet, just as that one young hime had done before – the Lady Sara.  But she knew better...

“I'm really glad to hear that, Sesshoumaru,”  she said finally, her gaze once more wandering the fallen palace before them.  “But... I don't understand why you brought me here to tell me that.”

Now... his mind ordered.  Now...

The moment of truth had come.

“I considered that it was a place of meaning between us... and I desired such a place to speak to you of my intentions.”  He eyed her suddenly tense form, and wondered what she thought he was about to say.  “You wished to know why the change of clothing, did you not?”  At her nod, he continued.  “A male will gift a female with clothing bearing his crest to show that he desires her as a wife, a mate.  Only a mate will wear the crest of her male.  It is a part of courting.”  He ignored her shocked gasp to finish, his tone formal.  “This one wishes to court the miko Kagome – will she accept, or turn him away?”

Eyes huge and suddenly vulnerable in her beautiful face, she stared at him, stunned speechless.

And he waited, not moving or even breathing, for her answer.

~oOo~

A/N:  I am sooo mean!  To put a cliffie right there!  And I'm even giggling at the fact that I did, too.  I'm so cruel and unusual, lol. Don't worry, you all should know she's not gonna turn him away... right?  I mean, could any of you?  I certainly wouldn't.

Amber







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