Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Holiday Memories and Nightmares ❯ Nightmare Shared by Coincidence...Or is it? ( Chapter 7 )

A/N: Wow! We're really updating early this time!

Kathrine: Me and Jen just couldn't help but finish another chapter, seeing as it's coming to an end.

JC: Yep, people. The Epilogue is next.

Kathrine: We hope that you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was the fastest chapter fic I've ever wrote.

JC: Editing might be a little shoddy cause they just finished it tonight.

Kathrine: Expect a few more updates over the next week because we just entered Spring Break.

JC: VACATION!! ^_^

Kathrine: Hope you like this. There's a twist at the end.

Disclaimer: I hate this part. !_!

Warnings: Angst, A little Fluff, Bad Dreams, Somewhat character death, Yaoi/Shounen Ai, and anything else we haven't mentioned.

Holiday Memories and Nightmares

By Kathrine and Jennifer

(editing shoddy)

Chapter 7 - Nightmare Shared by Coincidence…or is it?

The next four days went by in a blur for Seiji. He spent most of the time sleeping, no doubt drugged by Doctor Hino. He couldn't even remember the nightmares that he continued to have. But he was glad that Touma was there the entire time, his family having left so that his grandfather wouldn't be forced the take care of the dojo on his own. Touma had stayed by his side through everything. Even when he would awake in a cold sweat with no recollection as of why he was so afraid, Touma was there to comfort him.

But now he was sitting on the passenger side of his own green BMW, being driven towards home, the Koji manor. The others had come to see him often now that the roads were cleared from the hated storm. They were very supportive and yet seemed so cautious around him, as if he was going to shatter like cracked wineglass. The blonde hated the treatment, but wasn't actually sure if he hadn't been broken already.

Shu hadn't even been able to touch his shoulder without him stiffening, a reflex that was now refined as it had been so many years before. No one, save Touma, could touch him without him having some sort of negative reaction, though none of it was intended. Dr. Hino had said it was normal, that he would react strangely until he began to heal. Even so, Seiji couldn't help but feel like an important part of himself had died and he couldn't get it back.

All if his masks were gone, burned away by HIM. He couldn't hide how he felt, the scared part of himself he had pushed into the back of his mind for so long. How he wanted to kill Jack, not for raping him and stripping him of his innocence continually for so many years, but for turning him into something he hated. He knew he wasn't the strong, mature, calm, reserved swordsman he'd been trained to be anymore. He had looked in the mirror of the hospital bathroom before he and Touma had left and couldn't even think of a name to describe what he'd become.

" Seiji?" Touma's voice called to him from outside the car. " We're home." The blonde stared at him and could only muster a weak smile to reassure his friend that he was all right. But he wasn't all right, and he might not ever be again. His throat was still scratched and bruised and he wasn't allowed to speak for another five days, though he knew Korin would have him healed before then. The blue-haired boy still sensed his distress even so and extended his hand to help him out of the car.

The swordsman shook his head in refusal of his assistance and placed a paler than normal hand on the frame of the car door. He was thankful for his winter coat and also the long black sleeves of the turtleneck he wore for it covered everything. It hid the bruises and scars on his wrists without hurting them like his button-up shirts would with their buttoned cuffs and also hid the burn mark he had found was on his neck while he'd been in the bathroom one day. He could still vaguely feel the sense of burning on his sensitive neck and the grinding of something into his throat.

Ignoring the flashback, Seiji slowly stepped out of the car, wincing at the stinging pain down his spine. He was still very sore and Doctor Hino had told him to lie down as much a possible. She didn't want him to aggravate his stitches for the sixth time in a row. He though she was going overboard, but didn't argue. It wasn't like he could yell at her and he wasn't up to trying to reconstruct his cold-hearted masks.

" You okay with coming home, Seiji?" Touma asked him truthfully. He wasn't going to beat around the bush, it would be unfair to the blonde.

Using his usual answer, Seiji just nodded at him and slowly walked towards the front door. Touma just walked next to him. They had just about reached the stairs when the door opened and Shin's face appeared. " Welcome home," the auburn-haired boy smiled at his fellow yoroi bearers.

Seiji gave him a small smile as well before beginning his trek up the five steps that seemed more like fifty. They knew not to help him, he'd already made that perfectly clear at the hospital. If he hadn't held up his silent, yet obvious, protest Shu would have no doubt carried him to the car and then into the house. Luckily, he had been able to convince them to go home and let Touma bring him home on his own. He had lost too much of his pride and dignity already.

It hurt, climbing up stairs that he'd been able to jump all five at once only a school week before and now he could barely walk up them one by one. It was pitiful and he hated it. Seiji didn't want to be a scared invalid. He had to start doing things for himself again. He refused to let him friends care for him like some injured child. He hadn't been a true child since he was five.

Nothing seemed different inside the hall, even though he felt he was staring out at the world with alien eyes. To the blonde, nothing was the same though it did look that way. Now he looked at things as he did as a child, with thoughts and memories of HIM around every corner. Shin let him pass, hiding a look of sadness in his eyes.

" Do you need anything?" Suiko asked, just to make sure. Seiji shook his head as a negative. All he wanted to do was sleep and act like nothing ever happened. He was home now and he just wanted to forget. Maybe if he forgot, they everyone would quit pitying him and let him go on with his life. He took off his coat slowly and trudged over to the closet and put it inside, Touma following his example. Looking around, he noticed that Ryo, Shu, and Nasuti weren't around.

" Nasuti was called in by the university for school starting back up in two days, Shu and Ryo decided to go shopping for this week's groceries," Shin told him as if he'd read his mind. Seiji was relieved by the report. He didn't want them there to pity him and treat him like a child.

He felt a slight nudge against his leg and looked down. Byakuen was staring up at him with curious, yet worried eyes. Touma had told him that Byakuen had helped to rescue him and that HE was in the jail infirmary from the tiger's attack. He lowered his hand and scratched the feline behind the ears gently. The tiger took this as a good sign and let out a low purring noise.

The blonde released a small, nearly unheard sigh before turning his head towards the stairs. They seemed so much longer and more spaced out than before. He knew it was merely his mind reacting to the weakened state of his body. But he wasn't about to let his own body take away what was left of his pride and dignity.

" You can stay down…" Shin started but the blonde put up a hand to cut him off. He shook his head once more and forced himself to walk to the stairs and begin his journey to the summit.

" But the doctor said…" Shin was once again interrupted, but this time by Touma as the archer placed a comforting hand o his shoulder.

" He won't listen," the blue-haired boy told him. " He needs to do this, to feel like he is still the old Seiji. We just have to make sure he doesn't go overboard and try to start training with his sword." With that he waited at the bottom the stairs, keeping an eye on the blonde. It was some time before Seiji reached the to of the stairs, but Touma knew that the swordsman was proud of himself for accomplishing it.

It was then that Touma realized that Seiji would go to their old room, Ryo and Shu having moved all their things to the largest guestroom. Immediately, he rushed up the stairs to stop him but found the blonde merely staring at the closed door from two yards away, only a few inches from the stairs. His hands clenched somewhat and the archer could see a slight tremble in his body.

" Seiji?" Touma tried to get his attention, but the blonde didn't even acknowledge his presence. He moved so that he was standing beside Seiji, facing his profile. He could see a strange far off look in the blonde's one visible eye. " Come on Seiji, our room is…" the blonde ignored him and stepped towards the door. He extended his hand in a motion to touch the doorknob, but stopped only centimeters from the round gold knob.

Seiji was staring at the door to his room, different thoughts jumbling together and melding in his mind. He couldn't make out any one of them, they were all so cluttered. You're so weak, he berated himself. Getting scared over a bedroom? Pathetic. He didn't hear Touma even though he was standing right next to him, his mind turned in on itself. He moved towards the door, steeling himself to combat against the memories and negative reactions. He was Date Seiji, he couldn't allow himself to be scared I such a way.

His hand was almost on the knob, on moments away from opening the door, and he stopped. / Are you scared Seiji? …tears are so pretty…such a pretty demon…bad boy… bad boys need to be punished…/ He could hear HIM in his mind, Jack's words stinging into him over and over as if he was being violated once more. He could see him in his mind, looming over him, smirking, caressing his cheek, smacking him, and pulling on the ropes tied to his ankles. He couldn't get the images out of his mind.

Before he realized it, tears were streaming down his cheeks and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. Leave me alone, he begged the images. Get out of my head, GET OUT!! Suddenly, he legs couldn't support him anymore and he tried to remain standing, but fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself and cried, hating how weak he was.

" Seiji!" Touma rushed to the blonde side, not knowing exactly what to do. It's too soon, he realized. He can't deal with this now! Lowering himself down next to his friend, he did the only thing he could think to do. He hesitantly reached out and pulled the blonde into his arms. He almost stopped when he felt Seiji stiffen partially but then continued until he held the blonde against his chest.

" It's all right Seiji," Touma assured him in a soothing voice. " You don' have to do this now, you need time. Our room is down the hall now in the old guestroom. You don't have to go near this room until your ready." He moved his arms so that one was under the blonde's knees and the other at his back and stood up, knowing that Seiji was in now state to argue with him.

He turned around and carried the blonde down to the farthest door from the stairs, pushing it open and going in. Seiji seemed to calm down a little with Touma's comforting embrace and stared at the room in confusion. It looked identical to his and Touma's other room, from his bonsai tree on the desk by the window and Touma's star charts on the walls. The only differences were that the walls were a dark blue color instead of steel gray and the sheets on the bed that he thought to be his were dark gold and yellow rather than dark green and black.

" We wanted you to feel like things weren't so different," Touma explained as he lowered the blonde onto his bed. Seiji stared at him for a second before looking up at the ceiling, giving a smile at the familiar glow-in-the-dark star stickers. He felt the archer remove his shoes and stared at him in confusion. Touma just smiled at him and covered him from the waist down with the blanket that had been folded at the bottom of his bed.

" You need to rest," he told him. " Doctor's orders." He began to back away, but Seiji reached out and grabbed his arm. Touma sighed at the familiar action. " I'm just getting your painkillers, no matter what you say you need them."

" Here they are," Shin was in the doorway, two small white pills, a glass, and a pitcher of water in tow. He entered the room and set the pitcher and glass on the blonde's nightstand. He then poured a glass of water and handed it to the blonde along with the painkillers. " They will help you sleep," Shin reasoned.

Seiji sighed and reluctantly took the pills, putting them in his mouth and then drinking the entire glass of water. He hadn't even realized how thirsty he was. Shin chuckled lightly and poured him another glass, ignoring the look on the blonde's face that said 'I can pour my own water.' Seiji did take the offered drink and drank half the glass, put the cup back on the table himself.

" Now rest," Shin ordered before leaving the room.

He acts like I've go the flu, he almost snorted. But he then realized that Touma was moving over to his side of the room. He'd been trying to tell the archer something all day, but he couldn't figure out how to put it. I'm not worthy of him, he told himself repeatedly. How can he love someone so tainted and impure? He deserves someone who won't start crying whenever someone tries to touch him. He shouldn't have to settle for me.

That's when the thought occurred to him. What if he doesn't want me? What if I've just been thinking about this the wrong way and he never wanted me in the first place? What if Ryo was wrong? How could he want me? To them I've always seemed cold and distant, hiding behind my masks. But now they all know the truth, not even my masks can help me now. He pulled the orb of Korin from his pocket and stared at it, pulling small amounts of its healing energy to soothe his sore throat.

Touma felt the disturbance in link as the blonde slightly healed himself. But what he'd forgotten is that by using the orb, he opened his emotions up to any of the others if they were nearby. The archer could feel Seiji's self-revulsion and low self-esteem. He could tell that the swordsman was feeling hatred towards himself wanted to do anything to ease his thoughts.

But I just can't touch him or else he'll reject me, Touma felt his hopes of every being with the blonde fall. But he knew that Seiji still needed him for comfort and at that moment more than before. He got up from his bed and walked over to Korin's side of the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

" What is it Seiji?" he asked, wondering if the blonde could tell him let alone want to. " You know I'll here for you right? Me and the others are gonna help you through this." It saddened him further when his friend said nothing. He slowly stood and decided that maybe the blonde didn't want to talk to him. He was about to return to his side of the room when he heard a somewhat harsh and unused voice call out to him.

" T-tou-toum-a…" Seiji spoke his name in a strangled tone. He didn't want Touma to be upset with him. He just didn't know how to express what he was feeling.

" What's wrong?" he asked him. "You're not supposed to use your voice."

The blonde shook his head, not caring about the doctor's words. He looked up from his position on the bed and stared straight into two midnight blue eyes. He could feel part of himself begging him to go on and tell Touma how he felt. But he knew he couldn't. He wasn't ready for that big a step yet, just like he was unable enter his old room. But he did know something he was ready for.

" H-hold-d m-m-me-ee," Seiji asked in a whispered voice. " P-pl-plea-ease-se."

Touma didn't know exactly how to respond. He could tell that Seiji was still afraid, it was in his eyes. Even so, he knew it had taken most of his strength t make such a request. He remained silent for a while longer and could see the hurt disappointment in the blonde's one visible eye. He didn't want to be the cause of any more of Seiji's pain.

He immediately removed his shoes and sat down on the bed closer to the headboard. He extended his arms and slowly wrapped them around the blonde, much like he'd done in the hallway on a short while before. Seiji seemed tense, but began t relax in his hold, lowering his head so that it lay against the blue-haired boy's shoulder. Touma scooted farther onto the bed and pulled the blonde more on top of him, wary of his still sore body. He then laid down and ran a hand through golden tresses.

" Just sleep now," he instructed. " You need to rest. I'll watch you."

He could see gratitude in a pale violet eye that was slowly becoming glazed from the effects of his painkillers. He knew the blonde was exhausted as it was and his emotional distress and using Korin had only quickened their reactions in his body. Seiji kept his head on Touma's shoulder and took in a deep breath through his nose like the doctor had told him to, reveling in the archer's scent. But all too soon he felt the grips of his medication taking over and pulling him into the realm of dreams.

Touma watched as sleep overcame his secret love and smiled slightly at the peaceful expression on his face. He would do anything for the blonde to look so innocent and content when he was awake as well. He wanted to stay awake, to watch over Seiji in case his nightmares returned but he couldn't. He was drained mentally and physically from remaining by his friend's side. He knew Seiji would be upset if he knew how terribly Touma was taking care of himself, but all that mattered to him was making that the blonde recovered completely. Unable to deny his tired body the joys of sleep any longer, he too was pulled into a peaceful slumber.

*****

Touma was somewhere cold, extremely cold. He couldn't see anything in the darkness. How did I get here? He wondered. Where is here? That's when he saw a small sliver of light from a crack in what he believed to be a window or wall. The light was dim and seemed to have sought out a particular area in the room. It was a corner on the opposite side of the room where a small form lay huddled and shivering.

It's a kid? Touma stared at the child, unable to see anything besides his back as he was facing the wall with his head burrowed in his knees. " Hey kid? What's wrong?" he asked, stepping closer to the smaller form. The turned around and looked at him in confusion. Pale violet eyes stared at him in shock from beneath golden locks.

Oh Gods… " Seiji?" Touma whispered in disbelief. This couldn't be the Seiji he knew. This boy could only be eleven or twelve at the most. But the eyes were the same, they were just as scared and vulnerable as he had seen his Seiji's as of late.

" Who are you? Where did you come from?" the little boy asked him. " No one's supposed to come down here."

" I'm Touma," the archer replied. He doesn't remember me because he hasn't met me yet, Touma guessed. " I came to keep you company."

" N-no!" the blonde shook his head. " I'm sorry, I'll be good. I wasn't trying to be bad! Gomen nasai!" The boy lowered his head and huddled deeper into the corner, trying to hide himself from the older boy.

" Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," Touma told him, hating how scared the child Seiji was. " I just want to protect you."

" Nani?" the child didn't seem to understand. " W-why would you w-want to p-protect m-me?"

" Because I…" Touma never got to finish. He was stopped by the loud echoing sound of a lock clicking that rang throughout the room. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and could see the horror clearly in Seiji's eyes. The blonde turned to stare at him with terror written clearly on his face.

" G-get o-out! Pl-please! I don't want HIM to know you're here," the child told him and he could tell that everything was getting darker, the light fading away.

" NO!" Touma didn't know what to do. He couldn't move, couldn't reach out and pull the child to him and protect him. " SEIJI!"

Stop…I'm sorry…

He could hear the terrified child's voice pleading. Fear had lodge itself into his soul as well. But something was different. The fear wasn't only his own. He could even feel slightly ghosting of hands across his arms and face. It was like someone was touching him, yet couldn't actually harm him. This is Seiji's nightmare, he realized. Nothing can actually hurt me because I'm not supposed to be here.

/ Such a bad boy…/

I'll be good…

/ Little demon in disguise…/

It was getting worse. The touches burned his skin and made hi feel filthy. The voices playing as on a repeating CD. He tried to ignore, to focus on the voices so he could find Seiji, but everything was trapped in the darkness. He wanted to find Seiji, to bring his out of his nightmare, but he couldn't.

/ Don't fight it…/

I don't want this. Please stop…

/ Bad boy for not taking your punishment. You're only making it worse for yourself, demon…/

No, please, NO!

There was a sudden scream if of pain and he couldn't take it anymore. He had to do something. He felt the rage, hatred, and disgust building in him and couldn't hold it in. He couldn't keep in how much he wanted to shoot an arrow straight in HIS heart. To his surprise, he could feel the grip of a bow in his hand and an arrow between his fingertips. He didn't even think before notching the arrow and aiming it into the black void.

" STOP IT!!" he demanded. " LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Then he let the arrow fly, listening to its musical sound as it flew through non-existent air and then he watched a light appear. It was HIM, hovering over a small child who had tears streaming down his cheeks and his arm limp at his side. HE moved to stare at him and his arrow his its target dead on. It pierced what he would have believed to have been HIS heart if he actually thought that it was possible for HIM to have one.

A strangled scream was released and Touma watched as he seemed to convulsed on himself before freezing in his place. Then he watched as blood began to dribbled from his mouth and he fell over, his body began disappearing from the light and dragged into the darkness. HE screamed, trying to fight off invisible hands that were pulling at him. Even so, they held fast, pulling him down into their world of eternal torture and despair.

Abruptly, the cries ended and the darkness faded, leaving him and a broken Seiji alone in the pure white void. Touma immediately was at the child's side, cradling him to his chest and trying not to injury his broken arm any further. The child crying quietly, his body shaking terribly and his head buried in the archer's chest.

" It's okay, it's all right," Touma repeated soothing words to the boy. He rocked him gently in hopes of calming him. " He's gone now Seiji, he can't hurt you anymore. I'm here, I'll protect you from now on."

The young blonde's cries ceased and hue stared at him, eyes red and puffy. " Y-you w-will?" he asked. " HE c-can't h-hut me anym-more?"

" No, he can't," Touma assured him. " I won't let him."

" A-ari-g-gato, Touma," the blonde whispered. That's when the blue-haired boy realized that he was no longer holding a child Seiji, but the Seiji he knew and loved. He didn't know how or when the transformation had occurred, but he didn't care at that moment. He just held onto him even tighter, resting the blonde's head under his chin.

" I mean it Seiji, I'll protect you," he reassured him. " As long as you let me. I-I…I love you…" Then he kissed him gently on his brow.

He felt Seiji relax in his arms and his head rested against his shoulder much like when they had fallen asleep, before they'd been pulled into this nightmare. His eyes were half-closed a small, content smile was spreading across his lips. " Ai shiteru, Touma," he whispered before closing his eyes. Then he faded away, no longer a solid form in the archer's arms.

" Seiji?" Touma's eyes widened. " Seiji, come back!" But then everything turned from white to gray and then black, plunging him into nothingness…

*****

" …come back!" He jumped up and was hit by the sense of his head swimming and his heart racing. His eyes flashed back and forth, searching around the room until he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes turned to look into the worried tiger blues of his leader.

" Are you okay?" Ryo asked him immediately.

" So real…oh gods…Seiji…" it was then that he realized that he was no longer in the same bed as his blonde love, but in his own bed across the room. He shifted his eyes so that he could see Shin kneeling next to Seiji's bed, his hand on the blonde's forehead.

" He's okay, whatever nightmare he was having is over," the auburn-haired boy told them. he then turned to Touma. " What happened with you two?"

" The dream, no nightmare…It was real…all of it," the archer wasn't making any sense.

" Okay Touma, slow down and just tell us what you're talking about," Ryo told him. " You've got Shu downstairs freakin' out 'cause he doesn't know what's going on. I had to actually tell him to go eat something."

" Seiji didn't want to be alone," the blue-haired boy explained. " I just held him while he fell asleep…guess I fell asleep, too. Then I was in the dark, in a dream, Seiji's nightmare. I saw someone and it was Seiji, but a little Seiji from when he just a kid. Gods, he was soo scared Ryo, and he didn't know who I was and then the door opened and he told me to run…everything went dark again. Then I heard the voices, it was little Seiji and HIM, Williams. Seiji was crying and… and…, but HE wouldn't stop. Gods, he even broke his arm…"

" It's all right Touma," Shin rubbed him back soothingly. " Just try to calm down."

" But I couldn't take it Shin," he replied as he tried to catch his breath. " I could feel it, the hands on me skin, the disgust. I hated HIM, I HATED HIM for hurting Seiji. And then I…"

" You what?" Ryo asked. " What happened next?"

" I killed him. The bow and arrow appeared and I shot it right into his heart," they were worried by the way their friend's voice had become so cold and apathetic with just those two statements. He didn't seem at all upset over killing someone in a dream.

" Maybe you were close enough to be pulled into Seiji's dream through the link," Shin analyzed, not knowing if he was correct seeming as it was Touma who was usually the analyst. " The dream could be what's affecting Seiji. What happened at the end?"

" I just…" the form on the other bed stirred and he stopped. Pushing Ryo and Shin back, Touma got up and rushed to the blonde's side. He kneeled down next to the bed and took a pale hand into his own. Seiji seemed to have a peaceful look on his face, but his hair was matted with sweat, the locks actually moved from over the one side of his face, and rings under his eyes.

Eyelids fluttered before slowly opening and confused pale violet eyes stared at him. Touma understood, Seiji didn't know whether or not his dream had been real. " Yeah, it was," the blue-haired boy told him. " It was real."

Shock and relief replaced confusion and Touma couldn't help, but think of how adorable the combination looked on his still tired features. There was another expression in the blonde's eyes and Touma could now tell what it meant. It was so clear to him now that he didn't understand how he could have missed it before. He raised the hand he held to his lips and kissed it affectionately.

" I know Seiji," the archer told him with a smile. " Me too." The blonde smiled at that and closed his eyes again, not sleeping but relaxing from everything that had transpired. Neither noticed the four relieved faces that watched them.

*****

" So it's all over?" the figure asked as he watched through the balcony window.

" Iie, Yami," the white-haired figure shook his head. " He still needs to heal."

Regret could be seen in deep blue eyes. " If I had only felt something sooner, Gen," he sighed. " This might not have happened."

" It doesn't matter," the other told him with a hand on his shoulder. " Each knows how the other feels, so he can begin to put this behind him."

" And what of HIM?" anger flared once again. The wind tousled blue hair, but the winter chill went unfelt by its child.

" HE was dealt with," his companion smirked. " His punishment shall go on for as long as they allow it to."

" Good," he approved of his lover's form of justice. " We better depart before they sense us."

" Hai, we can do no more," he kissed his lover just as they disappeared in the wind, unaware of midnight blues eyes staring at them.

*****

" Arigato," Touma whispered.

" What was that?" Shin asked him as he checked to make sure Seiji hadn't aggravated his injuries.

" Huh? Oh, nothing," he shook his head with a grin on his face. " Lost it there for a minute."

" All right," the brunette let it slide before leaving the room.

A/N: How was that? Ya like?

JC: We know that ya want to know what happened to HIM, but you'll have ta wait 'til later on. Not too long though.

Kathrine: We're going to write the dream sequence in Seiji's POV too, though we're not posting it anywhere. We just thought we should do it. If ya want we can email it to people later on.

JC: Now please review and tell us what ya think.

Kathrine: Guess what? I just came up with a new idea for a story while sitting here right now. Unfortunately, it's not for RW.

JC: We better get away from the computer and go do the kitchen or else it won't ever get done.

Kathrine: Ja!