Survival of the Spirit Chapter Three Ain't No Way…

Don't own 'em. No I don't.

The encounter was brief and brutal between him and the woman. She was the first girl he saw, and what she looked like didn't matter. He needed to spill his seed inside of a warm place, a place where he could imagine he was with Kaoru. It didn't work, Kaoru wouldn't be so nonchalant, but he came anyway, and when he was finished he tossed the condom down a sewer without a second look. As he headed back to his room Kenshin wondered if Kaoru had figured out why he had gone out, and what she would think of him if she knew. The bustling streets were deserted now, so quiet it was eerie. Laughter up ahead set his radar off and he slowed up when he saw a group of kids loitering on the corner, his mind already going into defensive mode.

"Kenshin!!" one of the boys yelled, peeling away from the group.

He narrowed his eyes and saw that the boy speaking to him was Yahiko.

"Hi Ken."

"What are you doing out this late?" Kenshin asked, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

"I should ask you."

"I'm twice your age. Humor me."

"I don't wanna be home right now."

"Why?"

"My mom is, uh, busy."

"Busy??"

"I gotta draw you a map?"

Kenshin let him go, thinking about where he was coming from and what he had done. Could the woman have a child at home like Yahiko's mother?

In his other existence there were no moral issues, just interests and to allow yourself to think about the moral issues was a sure way to end up dead.

"Wanna come back to the dojo with me?" he asked, making it clear to Yahiko he had only one choice.

"Sure," Yahiko said, no dummy.

He waved to his "friends" and walked with Kenshin back to the dojo.

"Didja eat?" Kenshin asked.

Yahiko ducked his head.

"No."

The smell of food in her kitchen woke Kaoru up and she pulled her robe around her, cautiously opening her door. Two sets of eyes, one brown, one purple, met hers.

"Yahiko needs somewhere to spend the night."

Kaoru made a pallet in the corner of the living room and as soon as his head hit the pillow Yahiko was asleep.

"Where did you find him?" Kaoru asked, sleep a distant memory.

"On my way back from my walk. Seems his mother works nights."

"Huh? So he was trying to meet her and you grabbed him and brought him here?"

"She's a prostitute Kaoru. He was trying to stay out of the house until morning."

"Oh."

"Probably drugged out too," Kenshin said, taking a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and downing it in one long swallow..

"He can't go back there Kenshin."

Kenshin looked at her in the dim light, the need and want in him hitting him full force, the liaison in the street notwithstanding.

"If the social workers knew that…"

"They're overworked Kaoru. We can keep him here until they try and make us give him up."

"I wonder what time he has to be in school?"

"The usual time Kaoru. I'll take him."

The screams from the living room woke Kaoru up way before her usual time. The language threatened to curl her hair. But in an hour she heard the door open and Yahiko and Kenshin leave, Yahiko in his uniform and a bruise on his side that matched Kenshin's shoe size and Kenshin with a beneficent smile.

Yahiko noticed that everyone looked at him differently when he got there, wondering who the man was. A couple of the teachers eyed Kenshin suspiciously but said nothing.

"See ya Kenshin," Yahiko said with a smile and a wave.

"I'll be here to pick you up."

"What???!!!"

Yahiko came to a full stop, his mouth hanging open.

"What didn't you understand?"

Yahiko glared at Kenshin who met his gaze calmly.

"Homework before we work out. Have a good day."

Kenshin was used to traveling by car but today he went to the bus stop and waited, his mind on how the day had been so-so, and that he'd had no black outs.

"Hello Kenshin."

He looked at the woman who stuck her head out of the window, and frowned.

"Ayame."

"Want a ride?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Get in Kenshin," Hideki said, leaning over Ayame to talk to him. Kenshin got into the back seat and stared straight ahead.

"What're you up to Kenshin?" Hideki said before Ayame could speak.

"Living Hideki. You should try it sometime."

"I think you're doing well Kenshin," Ayame said, cutting Hideki off. "Are you taking your medication?"

"No."

"Kenshin…"

"I'm fine Ayame."

"You've been clear before and then had set backs."

"No one knows that better than me," he said, not letting his or her negativity bring him down.

"I think we need to keep up our sessions. You're way up high now…"

At the light Kenshin got out of the car and walked to another bus stop. They wanted him to be down, wanted him suicidal so that they could still control him. He'd never seen his illness as a method of control until now, and he turned it over in his mind as he rode the bus. Someone tried to pickpocket him and came away with a broken hand. Other than that the ride was uneventful.

He walked around to the back of the dojo and walked in, looking at the clock. He had about six hours before his afternoon with Yahiko began.

The sounds from the dojo indicated a class was in session. The voice belonged to Sanosuke, and Kenshin listened. Sanosuke had been avoiding him since they'd made him talk and Kenshin thought about telling him it didn't matter. But if it didn't matter he didn't need to put the effort out to tell him. Let him figure it out.

Kaoru had made miso soup, and he ate some of it, amazed that she could ruin miso soup. She was not a cook, so that was not a reason to want to be with her.

Going back out into the alley he stopped and talked with some of the old people, especially an old doctor who was taking care of his two young grand daughters.

"You've been to hell haven't you young man?"

Taken back by the question Kenshin didn't answer, waiting for the old man to continue.

"You've sent quite a few there too haven't you?"

When Kenshin made to get up the old man bid him to sit.

"I'm not judging, just telling you what I see when I look in your eyes. Kaoru can be part of the solution, but not all of it."

"Look man, I know that…"

"Let yourself feel."

"That's easier said than done old man."

"For all of us."

"I'm going to leave before she gets too involved…"

"Cut and run? You've become a punk now too? I wouldn't think you'd be the type to run away."

"I don't want to hurt her."

The old man studied him for a while.

"You can start by not taking those drugs they give you. I can give you a purge later tonight to get all of them out of your system. Then tomorrow come by and we'll talk."

"Why…"

"I owe Kaoru's father. Doing this can help me pay him back, and save a man from killing himself, because if you leave here without letting what's in front of your eyes happen, you will kill yourself. And you know it."

"After eight old man."

"I'll be here."

Kaoru glanced at the clock and stuck her finger in her mouth, tearing off the one nail she had that hadn't been gnawed down today. If he didn't come she promised herself not to act like she did last night. It really wasn't all that serious she told herself. She was a dumb kid who got bent out of shape at the thought of drinking sake with a man. Not the type of woman a man like Kenshin would want anyway. If he didn't come she'd know they had nothing more than a friendship, that she would have to be content with that.

But her mind drifted right to where she didn't want it, to the kiss they'd shared last night. He'd actually gotten an erection, she'd felt it, and despite her wanting him so badly he'd pulled away and gone out, coming back with Yahiko in tow, and not a word about where he'd been..

So when he walked in about twelve thirty with a smile on his face she almost shit her pants.

"Kenshin. Hi."

"Ready?"

"Sure. Let me get my jacket."

The day had started out sunny but now the sun was peeking out through the clouds and she looked up.

"Might rain huh?" she said, looking over at him now.

"Maybe. What did you do to your hair?"

So much had happened last night she'd forgotten about the blond highlights she'd had put in her hair.

"Do you like it? I thought it would be fun."

"Fun?"

"Yeah. Now we Japanese women can have fun with our hair like other women around the world."

"I never thought about it like that."

"What did you think?"

He looked away from her and they stopped at the corner waiting for the light.

"I dunno. I wondered why Japanese women hated themselves so much now. I never realized it was for fun."

"Oh. Hate ourselves? Why?"

"Maybe because we're not blonds or something."

"You're a red head. And you're Japanese."

"Touché," he grinned, grabbing her hand as they dashed across the street. Kaoru felt her heart skip a beat and then cautioned herself about getting excited by it. He was treating her like a kid who couldn't cross the street on her own she thought to herself.

"Where are we off to Kenshin?"

"To pick up a car."

"A car?"

"Yeah. I keep it in storage."

"Does it belong to them?"

"No, to me. Anyone worth his or her salt has a stash they keep to themselves."

"Oh. There are women assassins?"

"Of course," he said quietly. "Some of the best ones are women."

They walked in silence until they came to a garage. The attendant, who'd been half asleep in his booth, cranked one eye open and leapt to his feet, almost falling over himself to get out and greet Kenshin.

"Mr. Himura!!! You didn't call…"

"I wasn't sure I was coming until now."

"It'll take a few minutes…"

"We can wait," Kenshin said calmly.

"Let's sit down Miss Kaoru."

"Why do you call me that?! It makes me feel like a grandmother or something."

There were many reasons Kenshin thought to himself, firstly, to keep a distance between them. As long as he didn't call her by her name he could maintain the fiction that they were nothing more than friends in his mind. But after last night that was going to be more difficult. He hadn't slept a wink, thinking of excuses to go to where she slept and finish what he had started, and then thinking of reasons to negate the first reasons. If Yahiko wasn't there to provide a distraction this morning…

"Just the way I am," he said as they sat down.

Kaoru looked around the garage, her eyes shiny.

"Wow. Look at these cars!! I guess really rich people park here. Not a Toyota in sight," she said laughing.

"I don't drive a Toyota."

"What do you drive?"

"A BMW."

"A, a , BMW? I, Kenshin, you're rich."

"I have money, yes. I'm not that rich."

"Your place…"

"You really like that place don't you?"

"Who wouldn't? If you were me I mean. You see places like that in magazines, not in real life."

He knew for the time being the apartment was safe now, they wanted to see him crash and burn, see his relationship with Kaoru fail, so they were going to sit back and watch. An image of Kaoru lying naked underneath him, their bodies linked, her virgin blood staining the sheets as her first ever orgasm shook her body came to his mind and she shook his head to remove it.

The elevator opened and the attendant, who'd left two other customers waiting while he personally got Kenshin's car drove a black BMW out into the waiting area. Kenshin stood up and Kaoru followed in his wake, the change in his mood so perceptible to her she wondered if going to lunch with him was a good idea. He was obviously taking her someplace far away if he needed the car, and what could she do if he tried to kill her. He called himself an assassin, and even though she knew how to defend herself very well, the attack didn't have to be physical. She realized he was holding the door open for her and she slid into the passenger seat and despite her fears she drank in the rich leather, the gleaming wood accessories, the GPS system. After tipping the attendant he slid smoothly behind the wheel, reaching into the glove compartment to remove a pair of sunglasses that cost more than she cleared in some weeks. He didn't even look at her as they took off, and Kaoru knew she'd never had such a smooth ride in a car.

"Where are we going Kenshin?"

"This place I know by the water. Can't get fresher sea food."

"Oh."

He turned on the CD player and she was surprised to hear classical music fill the car.

"Not your style?" he asked, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"It suits you, and I'm with you."

"Maybe you should bring some of your music the next time so I can hear it."

"You might not like it. It's music to dance to."

"You go to clubs?"

"Sometimes, when I can afford it. Sano takes me, or I go with Megumi. Dancing relieves a lot of stress."

"That it does. Which club do you like?"

She gave the name of her favorite club, and Kenshin smiled.

"Wanna go this weekend?"

"Sure," she said, her mind reeling. Next time? Dancing with him this weekend? Okay, he'd already drugged her. When she woke up where would she really be she asked herself.

"The coastline is beautiful," he said, and for a while they drove without speaking, the music the perfect accompaniment to the scenery.

"I like the way the music goes with where we are," she said softly, her hand lightly touching his arm. It was all he could do not to pull over and take her then and now, his body careening wildly out of control.

He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road.

To Kaoru it seemed the ride ended too soon, and she looked at him as he got out and ran around to open the door for her.

The place was nondescript from the outside, and she shook inside as he took her hand.

Instead of a rough place there was soft light and tables arranged for intimate dining.

"Mr. Himura. It's been a while. Come."

Kaoru was under dressed. She saw one other woman in jeans, but she knew they were expensive and the diamonds on her wrists cost more than she cleared in a year. Why had he brought her here she asked herself. Then she realized he was dressed in jeans, boots and a tee shirt, and he was being escorted to one of the best tables in the place.

"What will you have sir?"

"Water for now," Kenshin said, smiling at Kaoru who didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Water for the lady too," Kenshin said, taking her hand over the table as the waiter disappeared.

"Kenshin I…I'm not dressed for this place."

"Neither am I, but it seems we're getting respect."

"You're getting respect. If I came alone they'd show me the kitchen entrance."

That made him laugh, and Kaoru felt herself beginning to relax. There was no music here, only the sound of the sea, and she picked up her menu, noticing there weren't any prices on it.

"Kenshin, there are no prices."

"Don't worry about it…"

"Kenshin!!"

The woman ran over and smothered Kenshin her embrace, completely ignoring Kaoru, who was too stunned to say anything.

"How are you Misao?"

"Fine. It's been ages. You look great, a little pale, but great," the woman said,

"Where is Aoshi Misao?" Kenshin asked as he pried Misao off his body.

"And I'll take my wallet back if you don't mind."

"Kenshin, as much money as you have…"

Kaoru saw the look in Kenshin's eyes and turned to see Misao meekly hand back his wallet.

"Do you mind if Aoshi comes over and joins you?"

"I do," Kenshin said. The steel in his voice made the woman step back and look Kaoru up and down.

"A little young for your tastes isn't she Kenshin?" she said archly before turning on her heels and walking away.

Kaoru's hands were shaking so badly she had to stop trying to pick up her glass of water.

"I didn't expect anyone here this time of day," Kenshin said by way of apology.

"I'm sorry."

Kaoru couldn't bring her self to say anything and sighed in relief as their waiter arrived to take their order. Kaoru, not that familiar with the names of the dishes let Kenshin order for her, not wanting to appear more of an ass than she already did. Here she was, on her first date with Kenshin, and the people who knew him said she wouldn't satisfy his tastes. What did he like? Did he like S&M? Anal? She had visions in her head of a romantic evening with champagne and chocolate to set the mood. He would be gentle with her, sensitive and patient. Now she found out he was probably a freak.

Kenshin could have killed Misao. Kaoru had just begun to relax when she'd launched her attack, and he knew her well enough to know that she'd planned her move down to the last detail.

"Misao and I worked together a long time ago Kaoru."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"Yes, but it wasn't serious."

"So sleeping with someone isn't serious to you," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

Any explanation would make matters worse. He and Misao had a sexual attraction, an itch that didn't stop until they'd slept together. If he told Kaoru Misao was the freak…

"It is serious Kaoru, when feelings are involved."

"But you can perform like an animal in heat…"

"You don't understand…"

"No I don't!! I don't understand women flinging themselves on you and acting as if I'm not there.."

"They aren't friends of mine at all, and I don't think you should concern yourself about cheap whores."

"She didn't look cheap to me either. I mean her bracelet…"

"Kaoru, you're making yourself nuts for no reason. When we are together, really together, it will mean more to me than anything or anyone I've had in my life up until now. But I don't want to fuck you, I want to make love to you, and right now isn't a good time for either of us. We don't know each other, we don't trust each other. Give us time Kaoru. For both our sakes."

"Kenshin…"

"Shhh. Now let's enjoy our meal. Tell me more about this club you like to go to."

Kaoru had turned up her nose at the portions but by the end of the meal she was full.

"So, you enjoyed the food."

"It was wonderful Kenshin. I never knew food could be so good."

He smiled and sat back, his eyes on her.

"We should walk the food off or we'll both fall asleep on the drive back."

"I don't think I can move."

"You can move or else we'll be thrown out for loitering," he smiled.

The bill came and he signed off on it, stifling a yawn. On their way out Kaoru saw Misao and a handsome man sitting at a table in the back of the room in deep conversation. Neither one of them lifted their head to watch them leave and Kaoru turned away from them and right into Kenshin's eyes.

The smell of the sea was like a drug and lifted their spirits.

"We can take a short walk if you want. I want to be there when Yahiko gets there."

The seashore was rocky but there was a way to walk through the rocks if you knew where to look, and by the time they got to the small strip of sand at the waters edge they were both laughing at the near slips each one of them had made.

Kaoru took off her shoes and walked into the water, wriggling her toes in the water.

"This feels so good Kenshin! You should try it!"

Kenshin watched her as she splashed in the water, happy that she was so relaxed and carefree. She spent her days being tough and hard, making business decisions and riding her staff such as it was. She spent so little time being the beautiful woman that she was he thought to himself. Her guard was down now and she was running in the surf, her pants wet, her hair free.

Kaoru waded out of the surf and into his arms. Their mouths met in a deep embrace, the taste of the sea adding to the sweetness of the kiss, their mouths open to each other, their bodies pressed as close as they could be with clothing on. Kaoru felt his hand work up to her breast and take the hard nipple between his fingers while his tongue plundered her mouth. Her brain was screaming his name, and his breath was coming in short spurts, his body trembling against hers.

Their mouths broke their embrace and they stood looking into each other's eyes, the tide now swirling around their feet.

"Please…"

"Not now."

"Kenshin, you can't kiss me like this and leave me…"

"For now. It's hard for me too…"

"I know," she said with a wicked grin, and he laughed.

"We have to go or Yahiko will think I punked out on him. I'll drop you off and go get him."

"In this car?"

"No, by bus."

Kenshin dropped Kaoru off at the gym and she stood on the curb watching until she couldn't see the car anymore.

"Some car," Sano said coming up behind her.

"You must've had a nice time."
"Sano, what do you want me to say?"

"Be careful Kaoru. I don't want to see you hurt. Men like him play with girls like you and go to their fancy ladies when they get bored."
Kaoru didn't want to hear what Sano was saying, remembering the feel of Kenshin's mouth on hers, and how her body had felt when he'd touched her intimately, his erection pressed into her groin. If he wanted her so badly why was he holding back?

"Someone inside to see you Kaoru. Listen to her."

"I have work to do Sano. You like to gab with people, especially against Kenshin."

Kaoru turned and walked inside, seeing a group being led by her teen leader. Seeing no one unfamiliar, she walked into her office where a woman, dressed in a business suit, her hair in a severe bun, sat in front of her desk.

"How was your date Kaoru?"

"Who the hell are you?" Kaoru asked, sitting down behind her desk.

"My name is Amaya Ayame. I'm Kenshin's psychiatrist."

"And why are you here?"

"Because he's serious about you, and you need to know what you're getting into."

"I thought a shrink couldn't talk to another soul about their patient."

Ayame crossed and uncrossed her legs as she leaned forward on the desk.

"Kenshin is not well. He is mentally ill…"

"What do you want me to say Amaya? 'Shit, he's nuts. I have to run away?' Everyone knows you shrinks are nutty as fruitcakes, so how can you come her and talk that way about Kenshin?!"

"Because when he slits your throat I don't want you to wonder where it's coming from."

Ayame saw Kaoru's hand go to her mouth and her tongue run over her lips.

"Have you slept with him already?"

"No, we haven't slept together. And I think you should leave. Now."

"Kaoru…"

"Kenshin and I are friends, and that means a lot to me. Now leave. We'll be fine."

Ayame had known Kaoru was in love with Kenshin already and that her words would fall on deaf ears. She stood up and left her card on the desk.

"Keep this in a safe place. If you ever need me, call me. Anytime of day or night."

Kaoru tore the card up and threw it in the trash, anger causing her face to flush red. How dare they come to her with his problems? He had been honest with her, well up to a point anyway, but it had to be a violation of some kind of ethics for the bitch to discuss Kenshin with her.

"The last time he slept with a woman he woke up in a psychotic state and almost killed her. Slit her throat ear to ear. She lived, but maybe you should think about what you're getting into before you give in to him. You've held out this long, you can wait for a better man."

Ayame saw that by the time she was finished speaking Kaoru was looking over her shoulder and she turned to see Kenshin and a young boy standing there.

"Kenshin!"

Yahiko ran to Kaoru's side and she pulled him to her, afraid of what she saw in Kenshin's face and eyes. He was not the gentle man she'd been with this afternoon, not now, and Ayame, seeing his expression, backed up against Kaoru's desk.

"You have no business here Ayame," he said, stepping into the room.

"Kenshin, why don't we discuss this away from Kaoru and your young friend."

Kaoru thought her eyes were deceiving her because Kenshin's eyes had turned amber.

"Kaoru, he's gonna kill her."

"No. Stay here Yahiko."

Kaoru stood up and to Ayame's shock walked up to Kenshin and put her hand on his chest.

"Kenshin, she can't turn me against you. She doesn't have that kind of power."

Kenshin's body shook violently and he closed his eyes as if he were going to pass out. When he opened them again his eyes were once again a deep shade of violet and his features calm. Kaoru still felt his body shaking from rage but he was looking at her as if seeing her for the first time.

"Ayame, I think you should leave now," Kaoru said, her hand still on Kenshin's chest, her eyes locked on his.

"Leave bitch!!!" Kaoru shouted and Ayame picked up her bag and left, looking back at the tableau behind her. The boy had come out from behind the desk and was standing next to Kenshin looking back at her.

Kaoru turned to Yahiko and squatted so that they were face to face.

"I'll do your work out this afternoon. Why don't you go and do your homework now?"

"Yes Miss Kaoru."

Kenshin looked at Yahiko and smiled and Yahiko felt the knot in his stomach relax as the tension flowed out of the room.

"I'm all right. Come on Yahiko. Let's see what you have okay?"

"Sure Kenshin," Yahiko smiled, taking his hand. The feel of the boys hand in his threatened to send him over the edge but he looked for a rock to hold on to, and turned his head, looking back at Kaoru and smiling before leaving with Yahiko to do his homework. Kaoru sank down on the floor, covering her face with her hands, emotional overload having taken its toll. She'd never cursed at anyone like that in her life, but the idea of someone coming here to turn her against Kenshin had sent her over the edge.

"A lot you're asking of yourself Kao," Sano said as he came in and squatted in front of her.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes for it seemed forever. Sighing, he removed his finger and smiled.

"We can't choose who we love can we?" he said softly.

"Your friends will be here for you Kaoru, no matter what.

"Thanks Sano," she said sighing and standing up on wobbly legs.

"Go rest. I'll take care of things here."

"Thanks Sano," she said, touching him on his arm before heading to her apartment and falling across her bed. How could they know how long she and Kenshin had been in this dance when she'd never once mentioned the quiet red haired man who would come in just in time to get a two hour workout in before closing time and how she had seen him watching her for a long time but decided he must be married because he'd never made a move towards her. Megumi, who was bold anyway, always started a conversation with him and he had seemed interested but she knew now he was just being polite. Kenshin's talks with her had been wonderfully rich and while she'd seen him struggle with himself he'd never made a move to harm her.

She knew she was naïve, and that part of what the witch today had said had to be true. He had been angry because the woman had gone directly to her and not given him a chance to talk to her about that part of his past

"Kenshin," she sighed, turning over on her back, her hands sliding between her legs to where her sex seemed to be throbbing out of control. Rolling over on her side she moaned in the darkness, saying his name over and over, a mantra that eventually sent her over the edge and to sleep, where the taste of sweet lips and tongue paired with a pair of amethyst eyes haunted her dreams.

Saito had been overseas working for quite some time and after two weeks off he looked forward to being back at work. As he went through the various things that were on his desk he thought to himself how much hard copy was still generated even though computers were ubiquitous. He was just about to log on when he saw a plain manila envelope, no name, nothing to show where it came from. He picked it up and opened it, his eyes skimming the first page.

"No!" he said aloud, and sat back, carefully reading the words, his mind reeling. No way this could, or should, be happening. Not in a million years. Anger replaced his calm and he got up and went to see his boss, hoping against hope that the words were false, that this was a practical joke.

"Saito! Welcome back. You did well in the States and Europe."

"Thank you sir. It feels good to be back."

"I'm glad. I'm afraid nothing exciting, for you anyway, is going on here."

"Oh I beg to differ sir. Why is Himura being reactivated?"

The man's reaction told him everything he needed to know. The eyes narrowed, and he shifted in his seat.

"He's our best assassin. He was making progress and we want to see him back at work."
"He almost murdered our second in command sir!"

"I'm well aware of what he did. But someone like him…"

"He is not controllable and one day he will do something worse than he already has sir!"

His boss narrowed his eyes and looked at him.

"You were called back to handle his case Saito. You will be responsible for his progress or lack thereof. I want you to work with Ayame and Hideki on Himura. That'll be all."

Saito sat down in front of Hideki, his eyes flashing anger as he threw the anonymous report on the desk in front of the man.

"I'm being put in charge of Himura. I need to know what's going on."

"So far he's all right it seems. He's working with this boy, a street urchin, mother is a prostitute and junkie, and he seems to be dating a civilian."

"Seems to be?"

"He took her to Yokohama."

"I see."

"Misao was there and she said he was the old Kenshin, no sign of any problem."

"I see," Saito said, hoping to keep his tone neutral. People like Hideki did what they were told and it was almost useless to go off on him, but he did it anyway.

"Does Shura know about this?"

"No. Since he seems to be interested in someone else she should be safe."

"You wouldn't be doing this if they weren't thinking of activating him again."

"They have no one who can equal him…"

"At what cost?"

"He'll have to reconcile himself to living with his demons Saito. He's a government employee…"

"This new girl, is she a civilian?"

"Yes."

"What does she know?"

"Whatever he's told her."

"Has he slept with her yet?"

"No."

"Don't you think…"

"Ayame is handling that…"

Ayame walked in and both men knew from the expression on her face that her talk with the girl had not gone well.

"Does he know you were there?"

"Oh yeah. He walked in on us while we were talking."

Saito said nothing. She hadn't been harmed, which meant Kenshin for now was under control.

"Does the girl understand the danger she's in?"

"She's in love."

"But he hasn't…"

"From what our people tell me they've been eyeing each other a while now. What made him move…"
"I can think of one reason…" Saito said bitterly as he met her eyes. Ayame ignored his comment and went on.

"He seems under control…"

"Until he tries to kill her. Why hasn't Shura been told?"

"There was no need to upset her. He won't come near her."

"You hope."

"Saito… you can jeopardize things there. Please. Leave Shura out of it."

Saito stood and looked from one of the shrinks to the other.

"For now. But be aware, I'm on the case."

Kenshin pushed Yahiko to what should've been the breaking point but Yahiko was determined to prove that he could handle whatever Kenshin dished out. Homework had been a battle royal, and Kenshin had made sure the workout tired the kid to the point that by seven he was laid out in bed, sound asleep. He looked towards the door where Kaoru lay asleep and almost walked into her room, but he knew now was not the time. He was not ready. He closed the door behind him and turned right into Sanosuke, who was standing in the shadows.

"What do you want?"

"You're doing a good job with the kid Kenshin. But I have a question. What are your intentions about Kaoru?"

"That's none of your business," Kenshin said calmly, his eyes fixed on Sano, waiting.

"Oh it is my business. I've been her friend for a long time, we went to school together, and I don't want to see her hurt."

Kenshin looked down, an image of blood and the sound what would have been screams pounding his memory.

"I don't want to hurt her. I have only the best intentions towards her."

"You'd better, because if you hurt her I'll make sure you don't have the chance to hurt another woman."

Kenshin looked at Sanosuke and nodded before stepping around him and heading out to the alley and his appointment with the doctor. His two granddaughters, ten and thirteen, were out front with their friends, and the older one told him to go right in, turning back to her conversation with a boy she knew.

"Ah. You're here."

"Yes sir. I said I would come," Kenshin said, sitting down across from the old man.

"Good. Sit down. Please."

Kenshin sat down, not sure why he'd even come.

"Healing takes many forms young man. The Westerners feel they have their system, and it's good as far as it goes. But we have our own, and it treats mind and body. You have chemicals in your system that are throwing it off, that make you irrational when you're trying very hard to be as rational a man as you can."

Kenshin said nothing, keeping his eyes on the doctor.

"You've got a lot of blood around you, which tells me you've killed, and done it well. Something made you see what you were doing for what it was, and you wanted to stop. But your sense of loyalty to the people you worked for caused a problem and you dealt with it as best you could. You had a breakdown."

"What the fuck…"

"Listen to me. Hear me out."

The old man sighed.

"I don't have much longer to be here. I just want my granddaughters to be in college and on their way when I leave. I am retired actually, but when I saw you…"

"Look, I'm Japanese, I know the old ways still exist…"

"You need to forgive yourself before you can heal. For now I just want you to talk, to tell me about yourself, and about your first kill."

"What?"

"When you're ready. You are angry, angry about what you've done. Until you face it you'll never be rid of the anger, and you'll continue to have flashbacks to the past. The mind needs to find a way to heal, and if you don't allow it it will keep sending you back to the scenes of the crimes so to speak. When you're ready, come and see me, and we'll talk."

The old man handed Kenshin a steaming mug of tea.

"Drink this. It'll help you sleep."

Kenshin looked at it, his mind automatically thinking poison or some kind of narcotic, but the concoction smelled of the woods and he closed his eyes, quickly downing the liquid.

"Good. Come by when you're ready."

Kaoru felt his mouth on hers, his tongue licking her lips, demanding entry. She opened her mouth to him and he sighed before plunging his tongue into her mouth, claiming her with one move. His yukata was open and his naked manhood was lying against her, the heat from it, the throbbing it was causing in her body almost unbearable.

"Kenshin…"

"Only if you want to Kaoru," he said lifting his head and removing his tongue from her to look into her eyes.

"I want to Kenshin. I want you, now."

All the pent up emotion he held inside of him was released in a moan and he began to plunder her mouth again. Kaoru felt herself melting, her body responding to stimuli that had nothing and everything to do with nerve endings.

"Kaoru…" he said into her ear, his hands lifting her top and slipping it over her head, exposing her breasts to his sight.

"Beautiful," she heard him say under his breath before he fell onto one of them, his tongue licking and his teeth nibbling at he already hard nipple while his other hand gently rolled the other nipple until she was moaning with desire. Her nails dug into his back as the pressure between her legs increased, her pelvis arching as her body demanded the relief only he could give her.

He sat up, looking down at her pink flushed body, her head thrashing from side to side in glorious agony, silently mouthing his name. He quickly removed her panties and parted her nether lips, exposing the bud that was the center of all her desire.

"Kenshin…."

She opened lust glazed eyes, her body no longer hers to control and watched as he positioned himself to enter her. He was much larger than she'd thought he was and he leaned down and kissed her deeply before he began to guide himself into her, to claim her as his now and forever.

Kaoru felt as if she were being torn in two, and after the head was in he stopped. Giving her time to get used to the width. She was moaning in pain and pleasure and he pulled out, causing her to cry out in protest before he again entered her this time burying himself all the way inside of her tight entrance, the head of his penis resting against the barrier to his claiming her.

She was literally crying, begging for him to take her and he closed his eyes before with one push he ruptured her innocence, her blood rushing over his manhood at the same time as she spasmed, an orgasm rocking her body despite the pain of this first penetration. He lay very quietly on her, his penis throbbing inside, his body begging for release, and he began to move inside of her. There was no way to be gentle, he knew she was raw, but his body now demanded release, and slowly she began to move with him, her legs spread wide apart to give him maximum penetration.

"Kaoru!!!!!!" he cried out and she felt the hot liquid explode into her, while she felt herself release, her essence mixing with his and flowing out of her now full vagina to mingle with the blood on the sheets

"Kenshin…"

Kaoru woke with a start, her heart pounding hard enough to break through her chest. God, what a dream. She was dripping wet and not just from perspiration, and she gulped air into her body, trying to calm herself down.

"Kenshin."

She got up and headed for the shower, hoping to get herself under control. She still had night session to oversee, and tonight was new membership night. The cold water hit her like a thousand needles and she shivered, gradually changing the water temperature to warm. One more dream like that and she'd be raping him she thought to herself. She dressed quickly and dashed out into the alley, saying hello to the old mans oldest granddaughter in passing. When she got to the gym there were three people waiting, checks in hand, and she processed them and four more. A good night she thought to herself, glancing at the clock. When eight o'clock came and went she wondered where Kenshin was, if something had happened to him. By closing he still hadn't come and she forced the fear down. He had to be around. He'd been working with Yahiko and he'd said he had an appointment but that he would be there by nine at the latest. It was now ten, and Sano helped her shut down while Megumi put the mats away and prepared the towels for the wash in the morning.

"All done Kaoru," she said, her eyes on Sano as he walked towards her.

"Good night guys. Thanks."

Once they left Kaoru headed back home, almost running into Kenshin on his way to the gym.

"What happened? I was so worried…"

"I must've eaten something that didn't agree with me," he said with a smile. It was really rough tonight. The old bastard's concoction had him shitting and puking most of the night. The effects were just now wearing off but he didn't want to risk eating anything that could start the cycle over again.

"What're you gonna eat tonight?" Kaoru asked.

"Nothing, my stomach is still upset. But I'll go with you to get something."

"Fancy food isn't always the best," Kaoru teased as she linked her arm in his, images from the dream making her knees weak.

He smiled and they walked in silence to the restaurant where Kenshin drank a ginger ale while Kaoru ate. She told him about the new members and how well her flyers seemed to be doing. He was happy for her, knowing how much the income from the gym kept the dojo above water.

"How was Yahiko today?"

Kenshin laughed, and Kaoru decided it was the best laugh in the world.

"We fought but it worked out. He's not used to discipline."

"Will you take him to school every morning?"

"Yes. He needs constants in his life, and I can try and give them to him."

"That is wonderful Kenshin."

Later that night he thought about the look in her eyes tonight when they'd talked about Yahiko and how he planned to stay on the boys' case. He closed his eyes, pain stabbing him through the heart. The baby he'd killed would be about Yahiko's age now. It took awhile, but he did fall asleep listening to Chopin. Downstairs, in the now silent alley Saito looked up at the attic window, the only thing alive about him his eyes. So Kenshin was trying to be normal, to do things that didn't involve murder and gun battles. And the girl, while young, was obviously in love with him and had no idea of the danger she was in.

He would shadow Kenshin for the next few days, see if he could gauge his ups and downs before approaching him directly. For now he hoped the Battousai slept in peace.