Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ What You Don't Know ❯ Chapter 3 - Seeing and being seen ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

 

Chapter 3 - Seeing and being seen

 

Darkness.

 

Anxiety . . . panic . . . running . . . fear. . .

 

Light.

 

Almost there. . .just a little further.

 

. . .no, so close!

 

Kaoru gasped and woke, heart thumping in her chest. The gray stillness around her warred with the racing of her foggy mind.

 

That was the third time she had the dream. Each time it was more intense, but still offered no answers. It was pure feeling, all darkness and light.

 

Just like everything else. No answers.

 

Kaoru sighed and pulled the tangled covers from around her legs. Sleep wouldn't be coming back anytime soon.

 

She padded to the doorway on silent feet and pulled open the door. The quiet shuff sounded loud in the morning stillness.

 

`It's before dawn. I wonder if Kenshin is up.'

 

She needed to still her uneasy mind. Sitting in her room wouldn't help, but she didn't want to wake him. Instinctually, she knew he didn't sleep nearly enough.

 

Moving just as quietly as before, her feet took her to the quiet dimness of the dojo. This felt like where she belonged, more comfortable than her room, more welcoming than the kitchen. Kaoru ran her hand with reverence down the plaque that listed her father's name. His presence was very strong here, and gave her peace.

 

Following another instinct, her hands picked up a boken, one hand holding firmly to the end while the other rubbed absently along the satiny curve. She wandered to the middle of the dojo and faced her father's swords.

 

Kaoru gripped the end of the boken with a firm but measured grip, and settled her body into a familiar front stance. Her yukata, loose from sleep, parted easily above the knee.

 

This felt right.

 

The buzzing of her mind gradually faded into quiet as she breathed into the stance. The dream, the worry, the anxiety of all still unknown drifted to the background as she breathed.

 

Feeling the need to move, Kaoru began slow movements, letting her muscles remember what her mind forgot. When her limbs stopped, she held position and breathed, feeling the pose until something triggered movement again. The world narrowed.

 

Breathe.

 

Move.

 

Pause.

 

Breathe.

 

Time ceased to exist for a while. Finally, the need to move withdrew, and Kaoru held her stance in satisfaction, recalling sections of movement that could eventually be restrung into her Kamiya Kasshin Ryu kata.

 

“Kaoru-dono?”

 

A strain of relief ran through Kenshin's tone as it reached her ears. Kaoru turned to see him standing in the doorway, watching her with an undecipherable look. His eyes roved down her form, and Kaoru blushed under the scrutiny. His gaze felt heavy, warm.

 

Looking down, Kaoru suddenly noticed how much leg her stance revealed and how her yukata gaped around her unbound breasts. Blushing more, she hurriedly straightened and recovered herself. She caught Kenshin shaking himself a little out of the corner of her eye, and the heavy gaze was replaced with smiling lavender pools.

 

A little of the nervous feeling came back as he calmly strode into the dojo. She replaced the boken on its rack and turned to him smiling.

 

“Ohayo, Kenshin.”

 

“Ohayo, Kaoru-dono. Did you not sleep well? It is early.”

 

Kaoru looked away a little, some of the dream anxieties coming back a bit.

 

“I slept fine, just couldn't go back to sleep.”

 

Kenshin's brow furrowed a little, and he raised a hand to her forehead. Kaoru caught his wrist and lowered it, letting go with another light blush.

 

“I'm fine, really. Anyway, it got me back into the dojo, which felt great.”

 

“Be careful Kaoru-dono. You shouldn't work yourself too hard.”

 

Kaoru sighed.

 

“If I don't work myself any harder, I'll be sitting around forever.” She caught Kenshin's concerned look as he turned aside.

 

“Kenshin, I appreciate you taking care of me, but I'm getting restless. That's why I want to go to the market today. I need to get out!”

 

Kenshin turned back to face her and smiled lightly.

 

“Of course. The promise made yesterday will be kept. But we will come home early if you show fatigue.” A slight touch of firmness in his tone brokered no argument. Kaoru smiled.

 

“Of course Kenshin.”

 

………………………&# 8230;………..

 

The path to the market was a reconnection to the familiar. Several neighbors stopped Kenshin and Kaoru to inquire after her well being. While not everyone immediately came to mind, reconnecting to herself was satisfying.

 

Kenshin stayed close by her side through the entire trip. He did not so much hover as guide protectively, a hand at her elbow or back warm and reassuring. Kaoru blushed at the contact, somehow feeling that it was both right and unexpected. She also noted a distinct thread of tension in his movements, seemingly on alert for some danger. When she asked, he merely smiled and directed her onwards.

 

As the market neared, Kaoru's excitement increased. The many days spent in convalescence were grating on her nerves, so the freedom of being out of the dojo was invigorating. Bits and pieces of memories floated behind her vision as she took in the stalls and stores. Buying a ribbon at the stall there, the best produce down the row, the reliable tofu vendor who always gave her a good price. So many unanchored images created a feeling of comfort and an edge of uneasiness at the same time. Kenshin's nervousness increased this dichotomy.

 

“Kenshin, are you sure nothing is wrong? If you're worried about me, I'm fine.”

 

Kenshin stopped, looking around before answering.

 

“It is probably nothing Kaoru-dono. We have not been here since that day, so it is natural to feel watched.”

 

“Watched?” she replied a bit nervously.

 

“As I said, it is probably nothing.”

 

Kaoru accepted his explanation, but increased her awareness nonetheless. Her kenjitsu training began to surface, setting her into a more perceptive state of mind.

 

They made their way through the crowded stalls, stopping here and there when someone greeted them or if they needed to make a purchase. Kaoru was pleased for so many inquiries, but her unease grew as more attention was drawn to her. She felt more and more taxed as they progressed. Perhaps this was a bit too much.

 

Kenshin seemed to notice her growing distress, and carefully guided her to a very familiar restaurant. A warm sunny young woman gasped and rushed to embrace Kaoru as they entered.

 

“Kaoru-chan, it's so good to see you're up and about! Tsubame and I have been thinking about you every day.”

 

Kaoru shied for only a moment before the flood of memories of Tae came to the surface.

 

“It's nice to be back at the Akabeko. The dojo was beginning to feel a bit small.”

 

Kenshin cleared his throat gently.

 

“Tae-dono, do you have a quiet table? Kaoru-dono could use a cup of tea.”

 

“Oh! Of course, you must be tired.”

 

Tae bustled them to a table in the back. After a moment, she reappeared with two cups of tea, some miso soup and rice balls. She waved away Kenshin's attempt to pay, citing Kaoru's return to health as a reason to celebrate.

 

Kaoru was glad for the break, her unease subsiding within the familiar confines of the Akabeko. She was glad to be out, but had underestimated the energy needed to deal with so many people. Still, if she did not work to regain her strength, she wouldn't recover her energy or memories.

 

After some time, Kenshin suggested they purchase their groceries and work their way back to the dojo. Kaoru readily agreed, and followed him into the warm afternoon.

 

Laden with a few packages, they made their way through the stalls. As they approached a long block of stands, Kaoru suddenly felt more and more uneasy. Her world sharpened suddenly into almost painful clarity, her vision overlaid with images from a previous visit. Like in a trance, she followed the path of her memories in stiff motions. Chatting with Yahiko, talking to the fabric vendor, turning as Yahiko startled his young friend, moving towards the alley.

 

Panic, fear and urgency rose inside as she approached the darkened alley. The dream from the last several nights played back in her head with frightening speed. She could taste the emotions as her heart raced. She dimly heard Kenshin's voice calling to her.

 

Just as her memories took her to the moment of stepping into the alley, a sharp blinding pain drove her to her knees. Packages tumbled unheeded from her arms as she clutched her head. The engulfing fog in her mind keeping her from her memories thickened, and blackness threatened to overcome her.

 

“Kaoru!”

 

Kenshin's strident tone drew her back from the darkness. She blinked slowly, Kenshin's worried eyes coming into view. The fog and pain receded, leaving her feeling spent.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I think so. I. . . think I just remembered parts of the day I was injured.”

 

Kenshin glanced around. He pulled her gently to her feet, picking up their dropped parcels.

 

“Kaoru-dono, let's not discuss this here.” He began guiding her towards home, more watchful than before.

 

Kaoru's nervousness continued unabated until they reached the dojo. There weren't any people along the way who seemed out of the ordinary, but the feeling of being watched persisted.

 

Kenshin brought her to the kitchen, gently insisting that she sit and rest while he put away their purchases. Kaoru closed her eyes gratefully, trying to reconstruct what had happened in the market.

 

The soft sound of a cup being set before her broke her revere. Kenshin sat beside her, gently feeling her forehead before setting back with his own tea. He waited silently, question evident in his gaze.

 

Kaoru related the scattered bits of her memory from that day in the market. She also relayed the recurring dream that she now connected to the event. It only comprised a small portion of what happened, as the recollections were still surrounded by the fog blocking more details.

 

“I still don't know why I got hurt, but I know I was frightened.” She sighed. “I thought remembering would make me feel better, but now I'm more concerned.”

 

Kenshin peered into his tea thoughtfully before responding.

 

“Give yourself more time. Pushing yourself could lead to more problems.”

 

Kaoru sighed again.

 

“I just can't help but feel that I'm missing something important, urgent even.”

 

Kenshin placed a warm hand on hers where it worried her kimono.

 

“Be patient. We will work this out.”

 

Kaoru smiled at his tender gesture, and tried to push her unease to the back of her mind.