Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Two Thingies of DOOM ❯ Bat Wings and Echidna Hair ( Chapter 3 )
A chapter wherein the edibility of echidnas and bats is quickly discussed, then interrupted by spears.
Non Anime: Sonic Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Adventure / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.03.2004 | Updated On: 11.11.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 743 | Visits: 185 | Status: Completed
Chapter Three: Bat Wings and Echidna Hair
[The Uruk-hai are taking a break on the edge of Fangorn Forest.]
Random Uruk-hai Dude: We need to stop running so fast…I'm ruining my $350 Nike sneakers…
Uruk-hai 2: I need food! I still have the smell of lard in my nose!
Uruk-hai Force: FOOD! FOOD!
Uruk-hai Leader: We'll have food once we get to Orthanc.
[Uruk-hai 2 crawls over to where Knuckles and Rouge are lying on the ground.]
Uruk-hai 2: How bouts we eat this one's (points to Rouge) large, massive, perfect wings? She don't need those, does she?
Uruk-hai: YES! SHE DOES NEED THOSE! We are not to harm the bat! Lord Mario wants her unspoiled…in EVERY sense of the word! GET THAT? EVERY SENSE! YES, EVEN THAT SENSE YOU PERVERTS!
(Author's Note: You all know what sense I mean. Don't pretend you don't.)
[Uruk-hai 2 points to Knuckles' weird hair like…thingies.]
Uruk-hai 2: What about this one's…hair? Can we eat that? He don't need hair!
Knuckles: I sure as hell do!
Uruk-hai Leader: Don't harm either of them! Who knows where the hedgehog is hiding the Ring!
Knuckles: I'm an echidna!
Uruk-hai 2: AND I'M MICHAEL JACKSON!
[Silence falls upon the Uruk-hai Force.]
Uruk-hai Leader: KILL HIM! KILL THE FREAK!
[The Uruk-hai jump on Uruk-hai 2 and rip him apart and start eating him. Random Uruk-hai Dude crawls up to Rouge and Knuckles.]
Random Uruk-hai Dude: Bat girl don't need her legs! Mario can have his fun with her even if she doesn't have legs!
Rouge: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[The Uruk-hai grab their ears and start screaming.]
Uruk-hai Leader: SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU BAT B-
[Before the Uruk leader can finish his statement, a spear is run right through his guts.]
Uruk-hai Leader: Now, you don't see that every day. (Drops dead)
[Suddenly, the Riders of Rohan plunge into the Uruk-hai force, killing everything they see.]
Random Rohan Dude 1: Damn! I smell beans!
Random Rohan Dude 2: Whoever smelt it, dealt it!
[The screen blackens.]