Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Two Thingies of DOOM ❯ Where the Hell are We? ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five: Where The Hell Are We?

[Sonic, Tails, and Omochao are still wandering around the mountains.]

Omochao: Be careful not to slip and fall headfirst into sharp rocks!

Sonic: No shit.

Omochao: Be careful not to twist your ankles!

Tails: Is this revenge for me accidentally trying to have sex with him? Because if it is, I am so sorry.

Sonic: It's ok. We all make the mistake at least once in our lives of having sleep sex with a completely inappropriate person and/or thing.

Tails: Ah. Good.

Omochao: HEY! Walking meat! Get the Ring to Omochao on the double!

Tails: I don't trust him…

Sonic: I don't like him either, but he's the only one who knows the way to Mordor and Mt. DOOM.

Tails: But we passed a building offering guided tours to Mt. DOOM for a penny!

Sonic: But where's the fun? At least this way we have a potentially traitorous guide leading us into the very heart of the enemy's territory, possibly leading us through the most dangerous parts, and maybe turning us against each other, and leading me to a certain doom so he can have the Ring for himself.

Tails: Huh.

[Omochao has exited the rocky area, and is now standing on the edge of the Dead Marshes (spooky music).]

Omochao: Come on! We're getting there!

Sonic: This doesn't look pleasant…

Omochao: There was a big battle here, long ago, between the Sonaysations and the Segreamcasts.

(Author's Note: For those of you who can't figure it out, the battle was between the Sony Playstations and the Sega Dreamcasts.)

Tails: Wow. Who cares? Let's just go!

Omochao: Be careful not to fall in!

Sonic: Well, DUH!

[As Sonic, Tails, and Omochao start to cross the Dead Marshes (spooky music), a horrible screech echoes across the Marshes.]

Omochao: No. It can't be….

Sonic: Not the….

Tails: Uh…

Sonic: You're supposed to say "NAZGUL!"

Tails: Oh. NAZGUL!

[The camera pans into the sky. Up there the Nazgul are flying on their new Fell Beasts. Boris is dangling upside down on his Fell Beat, wrapped up in the harness.]

Boris: Why are we flying these things? We can't we just take some Migs (Russian jet)?

Arthas: (While doing a pansy-hair-swishy-thing) Just because you can't fly one doesn't mean the rest of us can't.

Boris: PANSY!

Kerrigan: Not again…

47: Are Kerrigan and I the only sane people in this epic?

Kerrigan: Probably.

[Boris' yell of "PANSY!" echoes across the Dead Marshes (spooky music). The Nazgul fly away.]

Sonic: That was close. Too close.

Tails: You know, an RPG launcher could shoot those down real easy.

Omochao: Just shut up.

[Sonic, Tails, and Omochao continue to trek along the Dead Marshes (spooky music).]