Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Just Shoot Me: The Return of H.U.G.S. ❯ What Goes Around ( Chapter 5 )

I don't own Yu-Gi-oh! I really wish I did. I would have more episodes with Kaiba looking yummy.

 

Is it just me, or does anyone else wonder why the pharaohs kept the Millennium Puzzle, but left the cooler items to the priests?

 

Just Shoot Me

Chapter 5: What Goes Around…

~*~*~*~*

 

Yami was finally getting the idea of what this was about. First, that girl pretending to be his wife. Second, he had woken up in a gynecologists office -you will pay for that, aibou-. Third, his clothes are all exchanged for bondage gear. Now, his light and his fellow hikaris were wiggling around on a stage and having togetherness meetings involving chainsaws and electric drills.

 

Marik was back in his seat grinning, whistling and waving down the waitress with his now empty whiskey bottle. Yami narrowed his eyes at him. When they had arrived, Yugi hauling him through the club's door, the bar owner had looked a bit… mind controlled. He remembered Seth's deft handling of the Millennium Rod and the look on those unfortunates' faces that Seth deemed fit to exercise it's power on. After witnessing Seth's mastery, he could spot a clumsy job at mind control. He shook his head, and wiped the bar top. Yami sighed, “Sometimes, my friend, I do miss you. All you wanted to do was kill me and take my throne. Never, not even once, did you force me to work in a strip club, wear pants that cut off circulation to my legs, or try to stuff money in my lover's underwear.”

 

He looked to where his precious hikari stood talking to his friends, then over to where Malik now leaned tipsily against the table swigging whisky from the bottle. The waitress hustled over, her hips swinging in time to the music.

 

“Tell me, have you seen any of the dancers here tonight before?” He caught her hand.

 

“No. You all just showed up. It was Miki's night for the bar and Jade, Patti and Suni were supposed to dance.” She shook her head, “Then all of a sudden you guys just showed up and that was that.” She looked apologetically at Yami, “I don't mean to… I mean, those guys are alright and all, a bit dull to watch, but they get the job done, and Miki's okay as a bar tender. You guys though are great. The clients love you guys, I'm getting amazing tips and I have yet to have someone toss their drink at me.”

 

Yami nodded, “Just one more question. Do you recognize anyone in the audience?”

 

She looked around and shrugged, “No, why?”

 

“Someone's going to a lot of trouble to make my life miserable today, and I want to know why.” Yami grumbled, more to himself than to her as he let her go and turned to mix drinks.

 

“Oh, April Fools.” She laughed. “Who do you think is trying to prank you?”

 

“April Fools?” Yami looked at her curiously. “What is that?”

 

“You know, the first day of April? You play jokes on each other?” She looked at him, perplexed. “April Fools Day?”

 

“No, sorry. I've never heard of it.” He consulted his bartender's book and quickly mixed together a margarita. “I'm originally from Egypt. We didn't have it there.”

 

“Oh, that's too bad.” She balanced the drinks on the tray and swayed away to the music.

 

“Yes, too bad.” Yami smiled another smile, that frightened the drunk again. “Too bad indeed.” He then raised his eyes to look at Marik, who was half slipping off his chair, a satisfied smile spread over his lips. “Somehow, I think April Fools Day is going to be extended to tomorrow.”

 

He slipped out from behind the bar and walked to Marik. “Marik.” He pulled the drunken Yami to his feet. “You need some air.”

 

“Hey, feelin' fine here pharaoh.” Marik giggled, listing heavily to the right.

 

“I can see that.” Yami hauled the other yami over to the back door. “But you'll like this. Have I ever shown you some of the more interesting things the Millennium Puzzle can do? No? Well,” He shoved Marik through the door, “Let me show you why only pharaohs hold the Millennium Puzzle…”

 

~*~*~*

The last bell of the school day rang and hundreds of relieved students fled for sanity. Yugi bolted right along with them. He waved a quick hello to Duke as he flashed by in the stream of those fleeing the halls of education, accidentally slammed into Roba, who was valiantly trying to open his locker, and yelled a greeting towards Honda. In moments, the tide washed him out the front door and into the school yard. He dove out of the current and looked around for his yami and friends. Sooner or later they'd get washed out of the building.

 

“Hi Yugi!” Anzu pattered over to him, smiling happily.

 

“Anzu! Hi. Have you seen Yami and the others?” He hopped onto a nearby bench trying to peer above the wave of heads.

 

“Yami's over there.” She pointed towards the front steps of the building. “I haven't seen anyone else yet. Can you spot Mai? She said she'd pick me up after school.”

Yugi glanced around. “Nope, not yet.” He stood on his toes, trying to spot his darkness. “I saw Honda in the hall, but he was talking to Ribbon.”

 

Anzu nodded. “Ah, Yugi…mmm…well, about Yami. You know that girl, Sapphire? Well, she apologized to him and…well…they, sort of…well…seem to really have a lot in common.”

 

Yugi blinked, then shrugged, “That's nice, Yami needs more friends. But, what does a member of the drama club and my yami…?”

 

“Aibou!” Yami gracefully wound his way out of the crowd with a glowing Sapphire in tow. “Hi, Anzu. Have you either of you seen Bakura? I need to talk to him a moment.”

 

Yugi bit his lip and looked away, “Nope, haven't seen him.”

 

Anzu snorted, “He didn't come to school today. He's probably busy chaining Ryou to the bed.”

 

Yami sighed, then turned to Sapphire, “Apparently your going to have to wait a bit to test your theory.”

 

“What theory?” Yugi hopped down off the table.

 

Sapphire blushed, “It's silly really.” She pulled out a small gold mirror. “See, the mirror shows each owner of a Millennium Item.” She held it out for Yugi to look at. In it's slivery depths he could see Marik sprawled across a couch tickling Malik. A second later, it showed Shadi walking down a hall way, then in a flash Isis appeared sitting at a desk thoughtfully tapping a pencil against her chin. “But for some reason it never shows Bakura.” She frowned thoughtfully, flipping the mirror over absently, showing a gleaming Millennium Eye on it's back. “I was just wondering…”

 

“Hey, where did you get that?” Anzu pointed at the glittering object, then stepped back and whispered to Yugi. “Did we make a Millennium Mirror? I can't remember.” She started ticking things off on her fingers. “There was a compact, a pen, lipstick, the pin, dice, gel, jacks and the boostier, was there a mirror too?”

 

Yugi whispered back, watching Yami wave to Honda. “No, no mirror. And defiantly not one that actually worked.”

 

“Oops!” Sapphire clumsily juggled the Millennium Mirror, then it fell with a clatter to the pavement. Bright, gold sparks shot from it for a second then larger bolts of light exploded out. “Run!”

 

Yami and Sapphire bolted behind a nearby tree, leaving Yugi and Anzu staring shocked at mirror.

 

“Aibou, get out of there!” Yami yelled from behind the tree.

 

“Oh, Ra! Sorry, sorry. I'm such a klutz!” Sapphire wailed as a bolt of light obliterated part of the school wall.

 

Yugi and Anzu dove behind the bench as a bolt sizzled over their heads annihilating a tree branch. Students, who moments before had been drifting out the school gates scattered in screaming bunches. A couple of brave teachers emerged from the building, only to retreat hurriedly back into the building as a blast took off most of one door and part of the school steps.

 

“I told you not to drop it again!” Yami yelled, flattening himself and Sapphire to the ground, avoiding being incinerated by a passing bolt. “Can't you put it on a necklace or something?”

 

“I tried! It blew the necklace up!” Sapphire crawled frantically over to the pile of rubble that used to be the school wall and dove behind a large chunk of rock.

 

Honda emerged from the building, just as the mirror flashed again, sending more bright jags of energy across the school yard. He yelled and dove behind some bushes as a blast singed off the top of his hair. “Shit! What the hell is that!”

 

“Millennium Mirror.” Yami yelled back, diving across the space between him and Yugi, to gather his hikari protectively against him. “It's a bit unstable.”

 

“Ya think?!” Honda yelped as the bush disintegrated. He quickly dove behind a trash can, slipping in a brown mush that used to be a banana.

 

“It'll calm down in just a second.” Sapphire poked her head up and smiled reassuringly. “If it helps, it's never killed anyone before. Except…well, that was different. That man had a pacemaker and that other guy was just being stupid.”

 

“Gee, isn't that reassuring.” Anzu scrambled over to the large, gaping hole in the wall and ducked around the corner. She peeked back around the corner, only to jerk back as another blast of light shot past, totaling a parked car across the street.

 

Yami dragged Yugi through the hole and flattened them both to the ground next to Sapphire. “How about putting it in some kind of bag. Has it ever blown up a bag?”

 

Sapphire shook her head. “No, not really. It seems to like being in my purse, though, all my lipstick does tend to melt. Ruby said it was just residual energy discharge and I shouldn't worry.”

 

“Ruby? Who's Ruby?” Yugi wiggled around to look into the school yard. The mirror seemed to be calming down, only emitting small, petulant sparks and a couple of tiny lighting bolts.

 

“Ruby's my yami.” Sapphire stood up. “You'll like her. When she isn't killing people, she's lots of fun to be with.”

 

Honda walked up, fingering the smoldering ruins of his pompadour. “Killing people?”

“Well, you know yamis.” Sapphire smiled cheerfully. “They do like that dark, dangerous image.” She pecked a small, apologetic kiss on Yami's cheek. “You, being a pharaoh, are excluded from that description. We won't even mention your penchant for posing with your arms crossed and wearing a neck belt.”

 

Yami snorted and stood up. “And I won't mention the too cheerful for your own good thing that hikaris do.” He helped Yugi to his feet. “I won't even mention someone's penchant for bouncing, bounding and smiling at everything in sight.”

 

Yugi leaned against his darkness a moment, catching his breath, before bouncing over to Honda. “Are you all right?” He looked worriedly at Honda's hair.

 

“Yeah, fine. You?” Honda checked around the devastated schoolyard for casualties. Everyone seemed to be up and moving.

 

Yugi smiled and bounded back to his yami. “I'm okay. Anzu?”

 

She stood up, brushing debris from her skirt. “Just a couple scratches and a broken nail.”

 

“Let's get that mirror and get out of here.” Yami helped Sapphire over the mound of rock. “The teacher's are going to be looking for an explanation, and I don't even want to think how we're going to explain this.”

 

Sapphire quickly scooped up the now peaceful mirror and shoved it in her purse. “Got it. Let's go.”

 

Yami helped her back over the wall and herded them all towards the game shop. “Oh, aibou, by the way, I almost forgot to tell you.” He slipped his arm around Yugi's waist. “Sapphire's going to come live with us.”

 

“What!” Yugi jolted to a halt. Visions of Sapphire giving his vulnerable yami CPR flashing across his mind.

 

“Well, I was thinking…” Yami looked away thoughtfully. “That joke you played on me yesterday made me realize something.” He tugged Yugi along, lost deep in his thoughts.

 

“Realize what?” Yugi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the beautiful, blond girl.

 

“When I was pharaoh, one of the things I was required to do was produce an heir, quickly.” He nodded to himself. “Good thing too. Considering how young I died.” He looked fondly at his little light. “If I hadn't, you wouldn't be here.” He looked away, thinking. “I hate to think what would have happened, little light, if I didn't have you.”

 

Yugi felt a trace of nervousness slither down his back. “Well, don't worry Yami. I'm here and all's just great. Right?”

 

“Hmmm. What if I need to come back again. I have no heir.” He nodded decisively to himself and turned to smile at Sapphire. “I've decided that you were right, aibou. I do need a child. So,we decided that we're going to get married.”

 

Yugi stopped in his tracks, causing an equally stunned Honda to smash into him, even Anzu had problems stopping and careened into Honda's back. “Married?”

 

Yami nodded, looking over at him with a puzzled frown. “Yes, Sapphire wants to have children, she's used to handling Shadow Magic, and Ruby and I are old friends.” He suddenly scooped Yugi into a hug. “Don't frown little light. I love you, and just think how fun it will be to have little ones in the house.” He laughed lightly. “You had a great idea Yugi. When you had Sapphire pretend to be my pregnant wife, who knew that it would really happen.” He turned, still smiling, to Sapphire, who smiled happily back. “Now, lets get home. I got the license this morning, so for my last day as a single man, I want that old, time-honored tradition of …” He laughed softly, yanking his light along the street. “…a bachelor party.”

 

~*~*~*

Next up: The bachelor party! Will Yugi survive the experience? What will Honda do, now that his hair is gone? What about the whole cliché of chibi yamis? For this and more…

 

Daebird: Have fun with my Mary Sue! Poor Yami, but don't worry. Now it's Yugi's turn to feel the burn. I've been having problems with reviews too. I check to make sure they're there after I leave them, so many have gone astray. Oh, before I forget again, I read that crazed review that you got on your story. I hope you didn't let a complete wacko like that get to you. You have my sympathy, support and, at times, envy. You really are a great writer!

 

DemonandGoddess: Oh, yes, how could I write a spoof without the either using Spin-the-Bottle or Truth or Dare? Sorry, Kaiba is going to be a no-show. I don't know if Mokuba is going to be there or not. I'll think it over, but the Kaiba family is having issues and I don't want to disturb the other story line.

 

Teh Kirby: Wow! Thanks! Here is the more you wanted. I hope you like!