Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura gets pissed! ❯ EEE's, Yami Scores and Bakura gets a raw deal! ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan, hate Shonen-ai or have no sense of humor, this isn't for you.

TWELVE

"Whoever has my little brother Mokuba, you better state your terms or I will use whatever resources are at my disposal to flush you out! If you do not comply within 24 hours, I will make good on my threat!" The camera turned off.

Seto let out of a frustrated sigh as he raked his shaky hands through his short brown hair. Who the hell would have his brother and why haven't they stated their terms yet? Did he fall victim to some psycho?

`Where is he? I know he's robbing some poor vendor somewhere! I just know it! He doesn't care that he worries me! Doesn't care that he might get arrested! What does the pharaoh do? Just sits here and does nothing! I swear! I am going to so kill Bakura when he comes back!' Ryou growled in his mind as he kept reading the romance novel in his hands.

"I'm baaaaaaaack!" A voice sing songed from behind them.

Bakura jumped over the seats right into his own between Ryou and the pharaoh. The albino just ignored him as Yami was intrigued by what Bakura had brought back. Slipping a magazine out of a brown paper bag, the two stared at the magazine they were reading. Ryou spared a glance. Jugs? Figures! Bakura would want to see women's obvious features! If he liked women, why did Bakura want him?

"What did you get?" Yami asked as Bakura opened the center of the book. "WOW!! Not even any Queens of Egypt had that!"

"This is the magazine that pays homage to those fortunate women who have triple E sized chests." Bakura grinned deviously.

"Or a back ache." Ryou shot back.

"Awww…is my poor little Ryou jealous?" Bakura teased. "I can have them surgically enhance your chest if you'd like. I'd say, maybe a double D?"

"No thanks. I'm perfectly happy being what I am. Go back to your smut." Ryou stated calmly.

Bakura raised a brow. His Ryou didn't even raise his voice…he was scared…very scared…

"As I was saying…" He turned back toward Yami. "I think you can get some of these gals, pharaoh. After all, you are the top dueling champion of the world! They wouldn't pass up an opportunity of having your baby. Maybe we can double team one!"

Ryou wanted to yank Bakura's hair out at that moment. How dare him!!! One minute the pervert is all over him and professing his love and the next he's slobbering over triple E sized breasts.

"No thanks, Bakura. I have my eyes set on someone else." Yami looked away from the magazine, thought about it, and then joined Bakura in staring at the women. "Are those real??"

"Couldn't stay away from the dark side, could ya!" Bakura grinned deviously.

"I could put my head between those! Oh how just for one night…" Yami smiled stupidly as Yuugi quirked an eye brow.

"Can I see?" Yuugi asked.

"You're too young!" Bakura shot back. "Besides, it might corrupt your little mind!"

"I'VE SEEN ANZU'S!!" That got him stares from all three people. "She flashed me once when we were alone."

"You haven't turned to stone?" Bakura asked.

"Why would I? Are they dangerous?" Yuugi asked.

"Uh…yeah!" A devious grin appeared on the thief's face. "You see, Yuugi, if you stare too long, their magical powers will punish you! They either turn you to stone or poke your eyes out. You will never see for the rest of your life! If I were you, I'd go for someone flat chested!"

Yuugi shuddered and then went back to his Rubiks cube. He twisted the sides faster and faster trying to get the colors to match.

"Bakura, why must you tease my Aibou?" Yami sighed.

"He's easy?" Bakura answered as Ryou hit him over the head with the novel he was reading. "HEY!"

"Behave yourself." Ryou went back to reading.

"I don't want to." Bakura pouted as he glomped onto Ryou. "Can't I have a few moments with you alone?"

"Not now Bakura." Ryou sighed as he pushed off the offending glomper. "Later."

"Is she going to be here yet?" Bakura asked.

"Soon." Ryou promised.

It was at that unfortunate moment that his father with his soon-to-be wife and son appeared. Ryou tried not to pay attention to them, but unfortunately, Bakura did not believe in leaving well enough alone.

"Ryou!" His father almost made him jump out of his seat. "Your grandmother's plane has landed."

"Well lookie here! If it isn't the wimp and his slut! I hope you made a big enough cake for the wedding `cause you ain't gonna be eatin' it!" Bakura smirked at the two.

"You're disgusting." Ryou's father simply stated as he looked down at what Bakura and the Pharaoh were reading. "I can't believe you two are reading that smut!"

"Oh? What do you call the Barbie doll standing next to you?" Bakura grinned deviously.

"Do NOT insult my fiancé!" He seethed.

"ENOUGH!!" Ryou intervened. "Let's all just sit down and wait." He turned toward Bakura. "Please behave yourself. The last thing I need is for you to make a bad impression. At least if you make a good impression, my grandmother can't take his side!"

"Why would she?" Bakura questioned as Ryou sighed, getting closer to Bakura, his mouth close to his ear.

"If you don't behave yourself, you will find my knee painfully in your groin. Understand?" Ryou growled in his ear.

"Clearly." Bakura whispered back as they both sat down in the oversized chairs.

Meanwhile…

Yami was scheming a little plot in his own mind. It was time to move his relationship with his Aibou a bit farther and claim what was his! Oh yes! Today would determine whether or not he really felt what he felt for his other half. Besides…he was bored…

"Aibou? Could you show me where the restrooms are?" Yami asked innocently as Ryou's eyes widened and Bakura snickered. "Pretty please?"'

"Can you both wait until my grandmother arrives?" Ryou asked.

"I have to really REALLY go." Yami smiled innocently as the albino glared at him.

"Oh please, Yami! I think…Umph!" Bakura covered his mouth.

"Go ahead! Hurry up though or you'll miss the Queen!" Bakura waved them off.

Yuugi slowly got up and then led his other self toward the direction of the restrooms. He was clueless as to why Yami needed his help. As they disappeared out of sight, Bakura let go of Ryou.

"Ugh! Bakura I'm going to kill you!" Ryou almost shouted at him. "I know exactly what that Pharaoh is up to! How does he know Yuugi even feels that way about him!"

"He saw Anzu's breasts. Is that enough to go screaming to your other self?" Bakura asked.

"Bad point." Ryou huffed. "Really Bakura! He could have waited until my grandmother arrived!"

"If he misses her, so what!" Bakura snorted. "I'm here. That should count more."

"It does. I think it's just plain rude!" Ryou huffed as Bakura placed an arm around his light shoulders.

"Don't worry! They'll be back in a few minutes. There's not much room to do anything anyway." Bakura reassured Ryou as the albino gave him a strange look.

"How would you know?" Ryou demanded.

"My secret." Bakura grinned as the two enjoyed the momentary silence.

The family sat there awaiting the arrival of the jet carrying the Queen. The runway was full of planes and it would be awhile before she arrived, gracing her presence to her ever loving family. Ryou leaned against Bakura. The albino's father's fiancé complained in a whisper about the public display as her son looked at them in jealousy! He wanted Ryou!

"FASTER YAMI!!! FASTER!!" Broke the silence. "OH GOD!!!"

Ryou almost choked on the air he was breathing. Bakura laughed hysterically as other people awaiting arrivals did also. Mister Bakura pretended he did not know those people.

"BY RAH!!!!" They could hear Yami's deeper voice. "OH YUUGI!!! GODS, YOU'RE SO TIGHT!!"

"Oh shit! This is too much!" Bakura was practically on the floor gasping for air. "We-we need to in-invite them out more often!"

"Let's not and say we did." Ryou groaned.

What had happened? What was he thinking? Yuugi came back to full awareness as he felt Yami's head against the back of his neck, his breath ticking his hair. Did that really happen? Did Yami really take him like that? His fantasies weren't even this close!

"Wow." Yami whispered. "That was mind blowing."

"Yeah…I think the whole airport shared our experience." Yuugi pointed out breathless. "Yami, how are we going to face everyone? After all, aren't you well known?"

"Do you think I care?" Yami asked. "It'll keep unwanted people away from me."

"No. Quite the opposite." Yuugi pointed out. "They'll want to try to turn your head toward them, you know, you're adoring public? Umm…you could have told me how you felt before this you know. This isn't how I imagined my first time."

"Were you expecting rose petals? Candles lit everywhere? A bed so soft you can sink in it? I could arrange all that." Yami chuckled as Yuugi wanted to bang his own head against the wall.

"I'm sure you could." Yuugi felt Yami turn him around. "Grandpa is going to be so disappointed."

"I don't care. The world is overpopulated as it is." Yami grinned.

"That was corny." Yuugi wrinkled his nose.

"Well, yeah, but it's a good argument." Yami licked the tip of Yuugi's nose.

"Ugh…Yami!" Yuugi scowled as the pharaoh laughed out loud.

"You are so cute Aibou." Yami calmed himself down. "We had better clean ourselves up and get back."

`This isn't happing! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening! This isn't happening!' Ryou kept repeating the mantra over in his head.

//Hey Ryou, stop chanting. It's happening. //Bakura snickered.

/AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! / He screamed through their mind link as Bakura fell on the floor clutching either side of his head.

"Could you PLEASE warn me next time you decide to do that!" Bakura growled.

"Sorry." Ryou smiled as he reached down and helped Bakura off the floor. "I guess I overreacted."

"Yes, I dare say you did!" Bakura plopped down beside him, his arm resting where he felt it belonged. "Sooooo, is she here yet?"

"No." Ryou answered.

"Is she here yet?" Bakura asked again.

"No!" Ryou wondered what Bakura was doing!

"Is she here yet?" Bakura grinned deviously.

"NO DAMN IT!! NOW SHUT UP!!" Ryou shouted making Bakura shrink back.

"Are you sure you don't need Midol?" Bakura asked as Ryou turned away from his crazy other, arms crossed angrily over his chest.

Later…

The plane had finally reached the terminal…of course they had to refuel the plane because it spent too much time out on the crowded runway…

The terminal was deserted due to security. The Bakura Family, Bakura, Yami and a sleepy Yuugi stood up awaiting the arrival of her majesty.

"What's so great about this Queen that they had to clear the concourse?" Yami growled.

"Awww! Is the Pharaoh jealous? I thought you'd be in a better mood after you nailed Yuugi!" Bakura snickered. "It gives "Go Fuck yourself" a whole new meaning."

"Oh shut up Bakura!" Yami crossed his arms over his chest. "As if YOU aren't trying to do the same! I'm not jealous of the Queen! I'm disgusted!"

"You're jealous! You wish you had this honor when you were pharaoh! OW!!" Yami smacked him upside the head.

"We didn't have planes then you idiot!" Yami growled.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we did? I could have gone national with my skills!" Bakura could see the dollar signs.

"So much for turning over a new leaf." He sighed.

"Look, just because I went legit, doesn't mean I don't think about it once in a while!" Bakura pointed out. "In fact, I have to call my sponsor because I just thought about it!"

"Your sponsor?" The pharaoh raised a brow.

"Yeah! Something called Kleptomaniac's Anonymous." The Tomb Robber wracked his brains. "I go every week. Last week someone stole the notes to the meeting."

"Why did I ask?" Yami groaned.

"Beats the shit out of me." Bakura grinned.

It was at the moment…get ready everyone…that the Queen of England stepped out of the plane and into the terminal. Mister Bakura smiled, his fiancé gasped, her son just examined his fingers, Ryou didn't know what to think, Bakura's eyes were wide as saucers, Yami was plotting her death, and Yuugi was sleeping against Yami.

"GRAN-GRAN-GRANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Bakura shouted as he ran toward the confused woman. "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THREE THOUSAND YEARS!! DID YOU BRING ME SOME OF YOUR HOMEMADE PIE??!"

"Bakura! Wait! Stop! That's not her!" Ryou shouted after him, too late to stop the crazy other. "YAMI!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO…" He noticed Yami had collapsed on the seat laughing as Yuugi was rubbing his head from the fall. "…Never mind." He sighed as he turned away watching security tackle his other to the ground and then beat the crap out of him.

"HAHHAHA!! This is better than reality television!" Yami gasped out. "Someone….get me…some popcorn!"

"Yami…you…fucking…masochistic…bastard!" Bakura managed to shout out as the guards kept beating the shit out of him. "HELP ME!!"

Figuring Yami was not helping the situation; Ryou walked toward the guards and wondered how he would get Bakura out of this. He knelt down noticing how dazed the demon looked.

"Excuse me, could you let him go. He's not a threat…really…" Ryou asked softly in his British accent.

"Unhand him! You heard my grandson!" The Queen repeated Ryou's request in a more commanding tone. "Ryou, you do have a right to command them. After all, you are family."

"I don't know." Ryou whispered as the guards let go of Bakura. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know yet. Did you get the license of the elephant that hit me so I can sue?" Bakura passed out.

TBC…