Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura gets pissed! ❯ Mary Sue's Cousin, The Wedding and Swans Make a Good Meal! NOT! ( Chapter 17 )

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate shonen-ai, have no sense of humor or are a die hard fan, this is not for you.

SEVENTEEN

Marik walked back toward his little hide away. Before he could get there, a girl just popped up in front of him. She was blond, blue eyed, big boobed, perfect figure and a wide stupid grin on her face.

"I'm going to change your life!" She beamed. "I can shine a light in your darkened soul."

"Who told you!" Marik demanded.

"What?" She demanded.

"How did you know I had a light! Did Bakura tell you? Did Yami tell you? Did they send you to annoy me?!" Marik demanded. "Are you related to that blasted Mary Sue!"

"No! I'm Courtney!" She beamed like a ditz. "I love Yuugi so much that I put myself in here in order to compete with Yami and Anzu for his love!"

"You want the hobbit?" Marik deadpanned. "What is it with you girls and short guys all of a sudden?"

"I'm a self- insertion character! I wish to live in your world because the real world sucks!" She clung onto Marik. "I just want to be with Yuugi because he's the hero and he's sooooooo cool!"

"GET OFF ME YOU!!!" Marik pushed her off. "BEGONE TO THE REAL WORLD!!" He made her vanish with the Millennium Rod. "Yuugi cool? Yeah right! Then I'm an Adonis!"

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THE WEDDING DAY….

Bakura wanted to so scream his head off. He would rather be staring at Ryou's naked form without blinking than having to look at the gruesome pack of CEO's before him. He had to keep reminding himself that this was for Ryou and their future. He just felt sorry for his wenches. They would have to whip their smelly butts..and oh did they stink! Heavy perfume was in the air and one could tell they didn't bathe. He lived in Egypt, he knew.

Of course, Bakura had to miss the wedding ceremony! He would barely make it in time for the reception and the promise of having Ryou on the wedding cake…oh what would his family think? The men would be jealous and the women would be in shock. Oh well! RYOU WAS HIS!!!

Thinking of Ryou made this experience bearable. He wouldn't have to be here for long. Bakura would introduce these assholes to the women that hopefully would scare them into taking a bath. Then he would be able to finally leave.

"These are the rooms where people pay by the hour for their masochistic pleasure." Bakura let them look into a room where there was a man tied up bound to the ceiling and a woman was whipping him. "He's a regular. I can't tell you who he is, but he comes here getting his sexual frustrations out because he feels he can't have someone he loves." Kaiba!

The men followed him to the last room in the long corridor. Looking in, they noticed how huge the room was. There were a few women in there talking, waiting for their clients. There were two blondes, one brunette and one red head. They were in leather and chains, their breast nipples visible through the material.

"This will be your room. You cannot touch those women." Bakura warned with a growl. "You are here for them to do what they want to you." `Hopefully they'll do too good of a job and you idiots won't come back!' Bakura thought. "Remember, I don't run a prostitution ring. Don't even ask how much for sex. It ain't for sale." He opened the door and lethally glared at the gluttonous men as they entered the room.

The four women stopped their banter as they looked up at their clients. Frowns immediately fell upon their faces. What the hell was Bakura thinking? A wave of bad cologne hit their nostrils and they had to keep from gagging. Why the hell couldn't good looking men ask for them? Why? Because handsome men never needed stuff like this! Only Belladonna got the decent ones like Seto Kaiba and he was handsome, but there were rumors he was gay.

"Wenches! I want to introduce you to Martin Brodack, Charles Mench, Hanover Wells, and Moran Bates. Give them what they paid for. I expect you to give them the proper treatment you give any client." Bakura glared at their disgusted looks as he closed the door.

The nightmare was finally over and now he would have Ryou in his arms in no time! Bakura wanted that lithe shapely body in his arms so badly. He wanted to taste that snow white skin…

"Bakura." A female voice interrupted his fantasy. "I need to talk to you."

Belladonna…what did she want? Bakura hoped Seto didn't piss her off again. All he needed was his best wench walking out on him.

"I'm sort of in a hurry, doll." Bakura started as he put on his leather jacket that he left on a chair near the door when he greeted the smelly ones. "I have to be at a wedding and if I miss it, Ryou will be pissed."

"I understand that, but I am having a hard time with my client! He doesn't want to leave. He insists on talking about his problems with this guy he has. I am not interested in being someone's psychologist." She seethed.

"If I paid you extra, would you just listen?" Bakura groaned.

"Fine! It's gonna cost you plenty though!" She growled.

"Just don't cost me my business." Bakura hurried out.

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An hour later…

By Ra, this was so fucking boring! Ryou, Yuugi and Yami sat in the back of the large auditorium while the ceremony went on. Why did Chesha have to insist on such a long ceremony? Yuugi had fallen asleep and Yami's head was in his lap. Ryou wished that Bakura was there to lean on. Keeping awake was a bitch! He was sure that his grandmother, the Queen Mother, was less than please about all this.

Ryou wondered where his other was. He thought that Bakura would just take care of his clients and then leave. Sighing to himself, Ryou figured he would see him later on. He hoped they would share a nice slow dance together.

Bakura opened the doors to the auditorium, weary of what was going on. He was decked in his leather apparel, not really caring about the dress code. Right down the middle of the isle was the bitch and the stupid asshole! What a pair! That long train from her head was just too much. How much did they spend on this stupid wedding anyway?

Looking around, the ex-Tomb Robber spotted his albino love and then walked toward the row they say in. Sitting down next to Ryou, he placed a strong arm around the teen's shoulder. Looking past Ryou, he noticed Yuugi and Yami's position. They made such a cute picture at that moment…he hated cute…only Ryou was allowed to be cute…

"Hello Bakura." Ryou whispered as he turned his head. "You got here in time."

"Unfortunately." Bakura growled. "Do you really have to sit in here and listen to all this mushy crap?"

"Unfortunately." Ryou sighed. "I was hoping to see you though." A smile graced the albino's features which melted Bakura's heart. "I missed you." Ryou leaned closer, his head resting on Bakura's shoulder.

"I missed you too. You should have seen the slobs that I had to endure." Bakura growled. "Let's go outside. I don't think anyone would miss us." He gently got Ryou to stand up.

The two albinos quietly walked out of the auditorium.

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Yami's eyes opened as he looked upon his sleeping Aibou. Poor Yuugi. College and having to put up with his nonsense. `I have to treat him better than that.' He stared at his other. `I have to show him how much he means to me. I know! As soon as we get home, I'll plan something elaborate. Something fit for a pharaoh…like me.' A wide grin spread across his face.

Yuugi chose that moment to open his eyes. Yami's grin quickly disappeared. The other yawned as he looked down at the lounging pharaoh. Could Yami say he owned him any other way? Yeesh!

"Did you sleep well?" Yami whispered.

/I did. I know you did also. I don't remember church services being this long. / Yuugi whined.

//I know Aibou. It'll be over soon. I know royal weddings that were shorter than this. // Yami sat up turning toward Ryou and Bakura's spot. //I guess they had the right idea. Wonder where they went? //

/Tell me you aren't going after them? / Yuugi latched onto his sleeve. /Just stay here for once! /

//I wasn't even thinking about it. // Yami smiled at his other as he took a hold of the teen's chin. //I had something better planned in mind. // His lips touched Yuugi's.

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20 Minutes later….

To everyone's relief, the ceremony was almost over. Sore butts would get relief soon from sitting around for too long. Everyone just wondered where the moans of pleasure were coming from as the priest hurried to wrap the ceremony up.

"If anyone has any objection as to why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest announced.

"FASTER YAMI!!! OH RA!!! HARDER!!! HARDER!!!" Yuugi screamed out.

Edward groaned in embarrassment. At least it wasn't his son and the Thief. He wasn't about to face a 3000 year old crazy psycho-pharaoh either. He was Pharaoh. He could do what he wanted, where he wanted.

Everyone else turned around to find out where the sounds were coming from. It was as if the two were hiding somewhere. The audience, after giving up trying to find the source, turned back toward the couple.

"I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The priest announced red faced.

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"So I left poor Belladonna to deal with Kaiba. That guy needs to just tell the stupid mutt that he loves him." Bakura sighed. "Anyway, I'm just glad that I didn't miss much of this." They walked into the garden of the Embassy. "I was thinking of you the whole time."

"Oh really? What is that?" Ryou teased. "Did those men really make you want to scream or something?"

"They were ugly, they stunk and now I see why they can't get laid!" Bakura growled. "It's not like there is a shortage of water anywhere! It doesn't take much effort to take a shower."

Ryou could only laugh at Bakura's predicament. Poor Baku-chan got traumatized rather than the other way around.

"What's so funny?" Bakura demanded.

"You were getting traumatized rather than your victims!" Ryou calmed himself down as Bakura made his other face him.

"Shall I traumatize you then?" He grinned suggestively. "But in a good way of course." He waggled his eye brows. "I did promise you would be done in the wedding cake."

"Why Bakura." Ryou made him stop walking. "The party hasn't even started yet." He leaned against Bakura's muscular build, his hands on his massive chest moving up to embrace the other around his neck. "Besides…" His smile fell. "I have to be there for the family pictures."

"Oh fun! Can I be in them too?" Bakura grinned deviously.

"I could only imagine what mayhem you would cause." Ryou sighed. "I doubt he would let you in it."

"S'okay." Bakura hugged him. "I am sure there will plenty of opportunity for us to get out pictures taken in the future. In fact, I was going to celebrate our first time with a video camera."

"BAKURA!!" Ryou blushed. "How could you think of that?" The doors to the auditorium opened as people filed out. "I guess the ceremony is over." He leaned his head against Bakura's chest.

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"I cannot believe we did that. That was so…well…" Yuugi started as he buttoned up his shirt.

"I am pharaoh. I could do what I want." Yami smiled deviously. "In fact, maybe I'll take you again in front of everyone at the reception."

"Oh sure! Then my grandfather will get wind of it and never want to speak to me again." Yuugi sighed. "You need to control yourself."

"You're too irresistible." Yami waggled his eyes brows.

"Get over it." Yuugi got off the floor and then walked toward the exit.

"WAIT UP!!" Yami ran after him, hopping on one leg getting his boot on.

*************** *************************** *********************** ****

Bakura watched bored as his light got his picture taken with the rest of the family. He was the only shining light in the whole bunch. The rest of them needed a paper bag over their heads! Yuck! The Queen mother seemed to be the spotlight in each picture. Talk about ass kissing…

After the pictures were taken, Ryou rejoined his other. He gently latched onto his arm as Bakura escorted him to the reception hall. By Ra, he was being a perfect gentleman and Ryou was enjoying every minute of it.

Stepping into the reception hall was like stepping into a fantasy land. It was decorated in the theme of swans and snow and a lake was in the center of room with real swans in it. Streamers were everywhere made of satin white and the massive wedding cake rested on the other side of the small lake.

"This is beautiful." Ryou whispered to himself.

"Can I eat one of those birds while they are still alive?" Bakura bared his canines.

"Bakura!" The Albino scolded. "You can't! They are part of the party. They were there to enhance the place, not as food!"

"But there's more of a challenge of chasing your dinner down before you capture it!" Bakura was anxious.

"It's either Fish or Chicken! They will not be alive. They will be dead on your plate." Ryou pointed out.

"I'll have the lasagna." Bakura moaned in disappointment as the two found their seats. "I spotted the wedding cake." He whispered in his love's ear. "Nice and white and pure just like you."

"Oh?" Ryou turned toward the place where the cake was as Bakura buried his face in the albino's hair. "It's huge!"

"And perfect." Bakura concluded.

"Bakura, we'll take a piece home and do that." Ryou giggled. "I don't think my father would appreciate a dinner and a show like that."

"I think most of the men in your family would." Bakura grunted. "I think you turned the men in your family over to the other side."

Ryou almost choked on that. That was not a comforting thought. That was all he needed…his male relatives lusting after him. Bakura would kill them though if they tried anything…right?

"Um…you would protect me if they tried anything, wouldn't you?" Ryou whispered.

"Of course. I'd rip them apart if they tried anything." Bakura sat upright as Yami and Yuugi sat down. "You two look a bit flushed. What the hell happened! You couldn't wait?"

"We did it between the I do's and the part where that frustrated guy asks if anyone has a problem with them getting married." Yami caught his breath. "Yuugi screamed out, but it was anything but a protest." He smiled deviously.

"I can't believe you did that." Ryou blushed in embarrassment.

"As I said to Yuugi, I have been at royal wedding ceremonies that took less time than that!" Yami pointed out. "Anyway, I'm pharaoh! I'll do what I want when I want!"

"Newsflash! You aren't pharaoh anymore!" Bakura reminded him.

"I'm still royalty." Yami pouted.

"Yeah! You're King of the Johns!" Bakura spat.

"What the hell is that!" Yami demanded.

"The toilets!" Bakura shot back.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!" Yami stood up as he smacked his palms on the table.

"You both will stop this instant!" Ryou stood up glaring at both of them and then turned his attention towards Yami. "Sit down!" He ordered as Yami sat back down. "You should know better than to act like a spoiled child!" Ryou sat back down himself, sighing.

"He started it." Yami stated in a small voice.

TBC…I have to torture all of you!