Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura gets pissed! ❯ Yami Takes Away Bakura's Cake! ( Chapter 18 )

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you do not have a sense of humor, hate shonen-ai or are a serious fan, this is not for you! No wedding cakes have been harmed in the making of this fic! The swans have been sent to intense psychotherapy.

MARIK'S INSANE PLOT

CHAPTER 18

`I must have them! When will the damn author of this fic ever let me get them! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!' Marik screamed in his mind. `When will I get to marry Ryou!! ?'

At that moment, as if there was a cross over, the Borg (1) had invaded Marik's space. Of course, the psycho blond found this very intriguing as the cold humanoid machines walked over to him.

"Are you guys here for some kind of bondage party?" Marik grinned deviously. "If so, I'm in!"

"We are the Borg!" One of them announced.

"So you're Swedish!! Where are the hot big breasted blond chics?" Marik practically panted. "I want to show them my big giant rod!!" He showed them the Millennium Rod. "Ain't it big?"

"RETREAT!!!!" Shouted a female voice. "WE DON'T WANT HIS UNIQUE PERSONALITY ASSIMILATED INTO OUR COLLECTIVE!!! HE WILL NEVER REPLACE LOCUTUS!!"

"Who the hell is that?" Marik raised a brow as the Borg disappeared. "Aw nuts! I was going to ask if them if they wanted to play nude twister…"

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THE WEDDING PART DUEX…

Ryou kept slapping Bakura hands away from his thigh. If that damned idiot didn't stop in two minutes…

"Bakura." Ryou hissed. "Stop it!"

"But Ryou…" He whined as the albino sighed. "I'm horny." That made Ryou blush a bright red.

"So am I, but you don't hear me complaining." Yami interrupted from across the table.

"Yeah! Because you got some before you came here! I can't believe you both are into public displays! Have you no shame?!" Bakura demanded.

"I'll think about that while I'm with my Aibou." Yami took Yuugi's hand. "Come on, I have to use the washroom." He dragged his very sore other half behind him. "We'll be back later!"

"He did that to piss me off!" Bakura growled. "You wanna dance?" He turned toward Ryou.

"Um, sure. I didn't know you could dance." The albino inquired.

"No. I just want an excuse to grab your ass." Bakura waggled his eye brows.

The next moment, Bakura found himself doubled over on the ground. Ryou was less than pleased with the Thief's behavior. When he was going to learn to be a gentleman?

"If you'll excuse me." Ryou walked out of the reception.

"He got me in the stomach again…" Bakura choked out.

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Ryou walked toward the exit so he could be alone in the lush garden. Someone grasped his arm making him stop in his tracks. Who the hell dare do that?

"Ryou." His father had stopped him.

"Father." He answered shocked.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Outside to cool off. I'll be back, don't worry." Ryou smiled.

"I don't want you to miss anything. I'm sorry for the way I…" His father started.

"You don't need to apologize. You already did before the ceremony. I just want to go outside for some fresh air." Ryou felt his father let go of him.

"I'll see you inside later then." He watched his son leave the reception.

Edward headed back toward his bride for another dance. He hated to dance. Couldn't they just sit down for a while? As he walked away, a few dozen men swarmed to the French doors to stare at Ryou.

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Bakura recovered from the dull ache in his gut. He was glad his light didn't pack much of a punch. Slowly getting up from his chair, he noticed the spectacle at the French doors. What the hell was going on? Where was Ryou?

Walking over to the group of jackals, Bakura moved in on their group and then listened in on their conversation. He gasped as he heard "Ryou" and "nice ass". NO ONE looked at Ryou that way except HIM!!!

"If you perverts don't want to experience the many forms of death I could inflict, I would suggest you stop staring at Ryou this instant!" Bakura growled, his hands clenched into fists.

The group of men turned around. Their eyes were wide. This man looked just like Ryou, but with noticeable differences. The worst part was, Bakura looked pissed off and ready to kill.

"Well? I could tell your wives what really turns you on!" The Thief threatened. "You can explain to your significant others why you prefer dick."

"Who are you!" One of them demanded.

"Your worst nightmare if you don't get away from that door in a minute!" Bakura growled.

"Oh sure! If he's not here with you, then you must have turned him off! After all, I wouldn't want to be seen with someone like you!" That made Bakura see red.

"YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET THAT MORTAL!!" Bakura sent the fool to the Shadow Realm. "Any other takers?!" He demanded.

The group of men scattered. No one piece of ass was worth getting killed over. Their wives were looking better and better…

"FASTER YAMI, FASTER!!!" Could be heard over the music.

Bakura smacked his own forehead. Those two needed serious psychotherapy! He never took the pharaoh to be a sex addict. Now he was dragging Yuugi down with him! Bakura could picture it now…he would step into the game shop and the two would be humping on the counter! Shaking his head, Bakura stepped outside to find Ryou. He did not need to picture that!

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`Bakura makes me so mad! He could be so loveable one minute and then the next…' Ryou shuddered. `Is it too much to ask that he act like a gentleman more often?'

Two strong arms slid around his waist. Ryou closed his eyes and leaned back into the familiar touch.

"What am I going to do with you?" Ryou sighed.

"Torture me slowly and painfully?" Bakura suggested. "You know like get a car battery and use the jumper cables?"

"You are sick." Ryou giggled. "That's a good one though."

"I'm rubbing off on you, ain't I?" Bakura laughed.

"Sure. Oh, you promised me something love. I have yet to experience it." Ryou turned in his embrace.

"Oh yeah! The wedding cake! I haven't forgotten. I'm just waiting for the right moment…" Bakura started.

"GET THOSE TWO OFF THE WEDDING CAKE!!" A voice screamed inside.

Bakura ran to the door with Ryou following calmly behind him. There in the wedding cake were the two psychotic nymphomaniacs! They took his cake! They took his opportunity away! How dare Yami do this to him! THE PHARAOH WOULD PAY!!!

Ryou's jaw dropped. He could not believe those two would actually do it. He watched as two security guards removed the two minks in heat. Looking toward his father, his eyes were wide as saucers. His grandmother seemed to have a wide smile on her face. She was amused by the show. His now step mom was crying. The reception was ruined she kept chanting over and over. Oh well…Yuugi and Yami would spending the night in jail. Yuugi's grandfather was not going to be happy about this!

"I don't believe they did that." Ryou whispered. "It was quite a show."

"I'm going to fucking KILL the pharaoh for doing that! That was MY cake to claim!" He took out his cell phone and then dialed a number. "Hello Jack? I want to order a special cake and I want it delivered to my place tomorrow!" He paused. "A wedding cake." Ryou turned toward Bakura confused. "The biggest wedding cake you could create, preferably chocolate." He smiled. "Thank you." He closed the phone. "I'm not going to let that little son of a jackal take away MY fun!" He growled.

"What did you just do?" Ryou asked.

"I ordered a wedding cake just for us so I can do you on it!" Bakura smirked.

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They were both in the back of the police car. Yuugi faced the window away from his other. Yami could feel the anger through their link. His Aibou had not spoken to him since they left the reception. He guessed doing it on the wedding cake was pushing it. Yami loved his Aibou. He just wanted the world to know. If this were his kingdom, no one would have questioned his motives. Yami guessed have sex in public was against the law.

"Aibou." Yami started.

"I'm not talking to you." Yuugi hissed.

"Aibou, I'm sorry. I took it too far. It won't happen again." Yami promised.

"No, it won't." Yuugi turned back to him. "You may have been pharaoh, but that doesn't give you the right to do things whenever and where ever you please!"

"I know that." Yami whispered.

"What is my grandfather going to think?" He sighed dejectedly. "He is so going to be disappointed in me. What if this gets out?"

"Do you really care?" Yami asked. "I only wanted to let everyone know that I love you."

"The whole world really doesn't care, Yami." Yuugi pointed out. "It's sweet, but you went too far. At least you saved Ryou and Bakura the embarrassment of getting arrested for wanting to do the same thing!"

"They were going to do that?!" Yami was shocked.

"Of course. I'm sure Bakura is cursing you out right now for taking his fun away." Yuugi giggled as the car stopped.

Arriving at the station, the cops pulled into a space and then opened the doors to the back. They pulled their prisoners out and then escorted them to the police station.

"Do we get a phone call at least!" Yami complained.

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Ryou led Bakura toward the gardens away from the reception. Satisfied that they were far enough away, Ryou placed his arms around his love's neck, his body resting against the muscular build of the Tomb Robber. A smile adorned his face as Bakura felt his heart melt. Ryou looked so beautiful like that.

"Maybe it was for the best that we didn't do something like that." Ryou started. "It would be worse if it were us. After all, my father and I are now getting along. It would have been a stab in the back if we did that."

"I know. That would have been fun though." Bakura pointed out.

"We could have just gotten a piece and smeared it on each other out here in private." Ryou suggested.

"Nah. I have one better. The cake we get tomorrow we could do what we want with it." The Tomb Robber thought about it. "I just feel badly for my maid after the mess we make."

"Maybe we should clean it up ourselves after?" The albino emphasized.

"What fun would that be?" Bakura asked.

"Your maid won't be out to kill you." Ryou answered.

"She has to catch me first!" He waggled his eye brows.

"She will." Ryou shook his head. "You are so silly sometimes."

"Oh really?" Bakura started as he tightened his grip on his helpless victim. "Let's see how silly I could really get!" His grin was devious as Ryou felt the urge to run.

"Bakura? Um…what are you…" Ryou started.

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A Few minutes later….

"IS THAT ALL!!?" Ryou practically screamed.

"I-I swear, I don't know what happened. I guess Little Bakura got limp by seeing those going at it on the wedding cake." Bakura almost cried. "I mean, how would you feel seeing those two naked?"

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Solomon was not all thrilled about hearing that his son and that Pharaoh were being held at a police station for something he didn't even want to think about. Entering the building, the elder Motou walked up to the front desk.

"I am here to bail out my grandson and his friend." Solomon growled out the latter. `When I get my hands on that pharaoh, I am so going to kick his ass into the Stone Age!'

"Name?"

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"Do you think we'll be staying here for a long time?" Yami asked.

"No. They can't lock us up for life for having sex on a wedding cake. After all, the cake isn't alive." Yuugi sighed.

A police officer walked up to the cell door and then unlocked it. The two looked up wondering what was going on.

"You're free to go. All charges were dropped. Just don't do that again, please…" The officer begged as the two rushed out of the dingy cell.

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Yuugi and Yami ran into the lobby and noticed the old man standing there with an angry look on his face. Yuugi bowed his head in shame as Yami raised a brow.

"Don't raise that brow at me, young man! What you did at that wedding was…was…" He couldn't find the words to describe his disgust.

"Don't knock it until you tried it!" Yami growled.

"SHUT UP!!" Solomon shouted at him as he hit the youth over the head with his slipper. "If you want to have sex in public with other people, that's your prerogative! You will not do that with Yuugi again!"

"Yes sir." Yami bowed his head also, rubbing the sore spot where the old man hit him.

"Now let's go home." Solomon huffed as he walked out of the police station with the two wayward youths in tow.

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"Someone! Big brother! Where is my food! I have to go to the bathroom! Someone! Anyone? I'm here! I'm alone!" Mokuba shouted.

"Shut up! You're giving me a migraine!" Malik groaned.

TBC…

(1) The Borg are from Stark Trek: The Next Generation. I kept seeing First Conact on Cinemax and had that on the mind.