Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura gets pissed! ❯ Yami and Bakura Strike Out! ( Chapter 19 )

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you hate Shonen-Ai, are a serious fan or have no sense of humor, this isn't for you.

NINETEEN

Marik, insanely bored, played with the latest in Pentium Technology…that is until it blew up.

"THAT'S THE 100th THIS WEEK!!! WHAT GIVES!!" Marik threw down the burnt out tower. "I just want cybersex! Is that too much to ask? After all, how much longer can I play with a KISS doll that looks like Ryou? I ran out of dresses to put on him!"

"There was nothing wrong with those computers!" A boy with short blue hair, wide green eyes and a short stature appeared. "I am Noah Kaiba and I have found my way back!"

"You're not even part of the original story plot of the manga! GET LOST, YOU QUATRE WINNER WANNA BE!!"

"Who's that?" Noah raised a brow.

"You want to meet him?" An evil smirk appeared on Marik's face. "He's worse on the cute-o-meter than Yuugi. In fact, teddy bears cringe in his presence!"

"I thought Ryou was cute in your opinion." Noah shot back.

"No. He's beautiful! There's a difference!" Marik snorted. "Where is my medication?" He looked around.

"A-HEM!!" Noah cleared his throat to get the idiot's attention back.

"Oh yeah! I have to bring Quatre here! Just a second!" He made the Millennium Rod appear. "Just watch!" He focused all his energy.

At that moment, two figures appeared. One was a short blond and the other was a short brunette with a braid. Marik's tongue fell out of his mouth at that sight of the one with the braid.

"Where the hell are we?" Duo asked as he looked around and then noticed an insane looking man with spiky hair and a boy with blue hair. "Who's the super saiyan wanna be?" He checked out Marik. "He looks weird."

"I think maybe we shouldn't go near them!" Quatre warned. "I have this feeling."

"Maybe it's gas!" Marik suggested as he approached the two. "I am Marik. This is Noah and I wanted to prove to him that he is nothing more than a Quatre Winner wanna be."

"Wanna be what?" Quatre asked.

"That doesn't explain why I'm here!" Duo huffed. "Where's Heero!"

"I AM NOT A QUATRE WANNA BE!!! HE'S NOT CUTER THAN ME!!" Noah screamed like a spoiled brat as the two Gundam pilots covered their ears.

"Man, some one needs to duct tape his mouth shut." Duo groaned as Marik kept checking him out. "WILL YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!?"

"I think you're delicious, just like Ryou, but Bakura won't let me have him!" Marik pouted.

"Maybe there's a reason for that like you're insane!" Duo shot back as Marik grabbed him an embrace. "LET GO YOU STUPID MORON!!"

"Oh come on! Just one kiss! I promise to let you go after! I'll show you my Millennium Rod! It's really big!" Marik waggled his eyes as the safety of a gun clicking off was heard making the insane Egyptian's eyes widen.

"Let him go or I'll kill you." A deep voice threatened.

Looking back, Marik noticed cold blue eyes piercing back at his. He quickly dropped Duo and then ran for his life.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT'S KAIBA!!!! IT'S KAIBA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" He ran off, arms flailing.

"I'm Heero." He grunted as he put away his gun. "Are you two okay?"

"I think so." Duo replied.

"I feel…" Quatre started.

"That's nice" Heero cut him off. "Let's leave before Trowa has a heart attack." He opened a portal and the three left.

Silence met Noah's ears. Looking around, he found himself all alone…just like the virtual world…with those incompetent five idiots…he was all alone…

"Hello? Anyone there? Hello?" Noah sniffed as tears welled up in his eyes. "NO ONE LOVES ME!!!"

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Bakura sat at the table disappointed. Little Bakura couldn't "stand to attention" and he had not seen Ryou since. The albino wailed that he wasn't attractive enough and ran into the bathroom.

Of course, Bakura entertained the Queen all night with his tales from Egypt. The old woman thought he was making it up. In fact, she even told him he would be a great story teller if he put his mind to it. The Tomb Robber guessed not only would she not believe his tales, but she wanted him to do better for Ryou.

The party was winding down, a new cake was eaten and Bakura figured he had better look for his lost love. Ryou could not be in the bathroom after all this time. With his father and his new bride gone, where would he be then?

Stepping into the bathroom, he noticed Ryou just staring at himself in the mirror. Was he like this for the past few hours? Bakura thought maybe he should give the albino some time to cool down, but this was ridiculous!

"Ryou?" Bakura asked as he stepped beside his light. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You know, I had the most unusual experience just before." Ryou started.

"What was it?" He asked.

"I had a conversation with my mother." Ryou started.

"You had a conversation with someone who's dead?" Bakura asked. "If that's what happens when I can't get it up, we're in trouble." He growled.

"No, it's not that. I also did a lot of thinking about father and his new bride. I mean, all she wanted to do was come between my father and I and she failed. My mother told me just to be there for my father when he needs me. I have to at least respect her wishes."

"You're mad at me, aren't you." Bakura deadpanned.

"No. Well, yes, but…I just want you to understand what my mother told me." Ryou was frustrated by now.

"You are really REALLY mad at me aren't you." Bakura sighed.

"Bakura!" Ryou whined. "Stop already! Let's just leave." He pulled on his other's arm.

"I promise I will make this up to you tomorrow!" Bakura almost cried.

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"Come on! Just strip for me!" Yami begged Yuugi.

"I have to get up early tomorrow! Ji-Chan is going to be gone and I have to mind the shop." Yuugi growled in annoyance.

"Just for me? Pretty Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" His eyes became wide and doe like.

"No!" Yuugi shouted back.

"You're still mad about the police thingy aren't you." Yami frowned.

"Nooooooooooooo!! I'm so happy that I was caught with my pants down, LITERALLY!!" Yuugi got into bed and then buried himself under the covers.

Yami moved over to the bed. He had to get back in his Aibou's good graces, but how?

"Aibou." He gently placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. "Aibou?" Yuugi grabbed the pillow and covered his own head with it. "Look, I'm really really sorry that happened. I just…I really love you…in love with you…" His voice trailed off. "I guess I just got carried away…" He sighed. "I don't want this to ruin what we have."

"Go to sleep, Yami. I'm over it, okay? I just want to sleep right now! I have to get up early." Yuugi groaned as the pharaoh removed the pillow. "YAMI!!" he practically shouted.

"I'm not letting you sleep right now until you really listen to me." Yami protested.

"I listened, okay? I'm not in the mood right now!" Yuugi wriggled away from his other.

"Please Aibou?" Yami pleaded as Yuugi took the pillow from his other and smacked him in the face with it.

"GO DOWNSTAIRS AND SLEEP ON THE COUCH!! WHAT PART OF NO DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!?" Yuugi thundered as the pharaoh backed away in fear.

"The N?" Yami grinned sheepishly as Yuugi pointed to the door. "Fine." He moved toward the door.

"Oh Yami?" Yuugi asked sweetly as the other hoped his other changed his mind.

"Yes Aibou?" Yami asked.

"Here!" A pillow was smacked in his face. "Good night!"

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They had gotten home in record time. Ryou entered first as Bakura dropped the keys on a table near the door. Walking toward the answering machine in the living room, he noticed it was blinking. Pressing the button, he began to listen to his messages.

"Hello you bastard! Do you know how long that stupid asshole client of mine took? Two and a half hours! Two and a half hours of crying about this damn guy he wanted who probably wasn't worth anything! Let him go talk to a professional about this! In fact, maybe I should seek counseling and you could pay for it!" Belladonn'a angry voice sounded over the machine.

"She does bondage sessions and now she thinks she needs counseling?" Bakura growled.

"By the way, you owe me big time pal!" Then there was a click.

Bakura pressed down the button again for the next message. There was heavy breathing on the other end. Sighing, Bakura sat down on the couch in the dark living room listening to the stupid moron make a fool of him.

"Ooooooooooh Ryou. Oooooooh how I dream of your sexy delicious body! How I crave to take your rod into my mouth and suck on it like a lollipop!" Bakura's eyes became wide. "I can show you mine also! It's gold, and long and cold…I could warm it up with my mouth…" Bakura began to growl in annoyance, his right eye twitching. "It's Marik! Give me a call okay? If you get Rishid, hang up. Oh, and don't tell Bakura! Bye!"

"I'm going to so kill that bastard when I get a hold of him." Bakura growled menacingly.

"Hello? Bakura are you there? It's Yami. Yuugi made me sleep on the couch. Could you tell me how I could get back in his good graces?"

"Leave." Bakura muttered.

"Call me, okay? By the way, sorry about all the shit I pulled." Then there was a click.

"Hi! This is Anzu! Why don't you guys ever call me anymore?" The voice whined.

"Because you're annoying!" Bakura answered.

"Anyway, I'm in town for a while, so give me a call when you get a chance! Byee!" Then there was a click.

"Hey Bakura! This is Mai! I thought over your proposal of being a bondage babe. Considering the job market, I'll take it! Give me a call!" Then there was a click.

"Oooooooh yes!" Bakura's grin became devious. "Another big breasted wench! Heh!"

"End of messages." The voice announced.

"Than Ra!" Bakura got up to search for Ryou. "I wonder where my little bunny hopped off to."

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Ryou stepped into the shower. Gods, he needed a nice warm relaxing shower. The wedding was stressful enough, although, it went smoothly. At least he and his father had become friends again.

The albino's thoughts then turned to Bakura as the warm water cascaded over his tired body. Was seeing Yami and Yuugi in the throws of passion that much of a traumatic experience? Ryou thought they looked quite attractive together. Yuugi could use a few extra pounds… Oh well. Bakura really needed to get over it already!

Ryou gasped feeling two muscular arms slither around his waist. He was pulled back against a warm body and he could feel not only the hard muscles in his chest, but another part that was hard also. His eyes widened in surprise.

"You're taking a shower without me?" Bakura whispered in his ear. "I don't think so."

"Bakura?" Ryou asked.

"Who else would it be?" Bakura growled. "Little Bakura wants to come out and play." He licked his light's ear. "Are you up to it?" He dove for his neck, nipping and sucking the same spot.

"Oh yessssssss." Ryou hissed, his eyes drifting shut as he let Bakura do as he pleased.

Bakura's strong skilled fingers caressed their way down Ryou's pale lithe form. They lightly danced down the sides of his body and then one grasped the albino's arousal as the other wrapped around his waist. Ryou craned his neck back as they shared a very heated kiss. Tongues warred for dominance which Bakura had won. His other hand became very busy making his bunny moan in ecstasy.

Bakura felt his own member harden and he was ready to take Ryou for a little ride. This was the moment he waited for! This was the moment they would be one forever! Oh yes! He would make his little bunny scream in ultimate passion!

At that moment, like always, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Bakura froze as Ryou moaned in protest. Who the hell would be in their little nest at this time?

"You locked the door, didn't you `Kura?" Ryou asked.

"Of course I did. I don't know who the hell that could be. Whoever it is though, is going to die!" Bakura growled as he reluctantly let go of his Ryou and then grabbed a towel to put around his waist.

The angry ex-Tomb Robber opened the door only to face a very distraught Yami. The pharaoh looked absolutely pathetic!

"Once again you ruin things! Do you do this to me on purpose or what?!" Bakura demanded.

"Yuugi won't sleep with me." Yami sniffed.

"I wouldn't sleep with you! Why are you here! Why don't you just leave me the hell alone!" He demanded as Ryou appeared at the bathroom door also in his white bathrobe.

"Yami?" Ryou asked in disbelief. "Why are you here?"

"Yuugi won't sleep with me! He threw me out of our room!" Yami broke down as Ryou gathered the pathetic pharaoh in his arms.

"There, there Yami." Ryou pat his back. "Tell me all about it." Bakura's jaw hit the floor.

"Ryou! Bunny?" Bakura asked as walked Yami into the living room. "Ra-Damned Pharaoh! I am so going to kick his scrawny ass!"

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Marik's plans were going to work if he had anything to say about it! He wanted Ryou and he wanted him now! Oh yes! FIRST, he would lure the albino beauty into his lair with a cute little toy kitten. His green eyes would light up with awe and then he would follow the little kitty into Marik's lair. Then Marik had planned on dining and dancing and then maybe some dessert…chocolate!

"You know that's not going to work! Ryou isn't an airhead like you!" Malik taunted.

"It will work! Itwillitwillitwill!!" Marik threw a tantrum. "Besides, no one can resist the cuteness of a kitten!"

"If you say so. By the way, it's time to feed Mokuba! You need to really let him go since you don't even remember why you kidnapped him in the first place!" Malik shook his head.

"Why did I kidnap him?" Marik asked confused.

"I don't know." Malik lied. "Why don't you just let him go?"

"OKAY!" His eyes lit up as he skipped away from Malik's pyramid prison.

"Idiot." The Egyptian growled.

TBC…