Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Rishid, Where Do Babies Come From ❯ Yaoi and Yuri: Part One ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Welcome to another long awaited chapter of RISHID HWERE DO BABAIES COME FROM!!! Sorry for the long wait but life, ya kno how it is now for the disclaimers ^-^

Disclaimer- WE DO NOT YUGI-OH !!!! BUT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CHINESE CHICKEN MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Y.V.-No we're not…..

Disclaimer- er herm, no….of course not….*sniff sniff*

Now today's topic, which Rishid will explain will be….* going through a hat*

Rishid- please no gay couples….please no gay couples….please no gay couples…..

Y.V.- Takes out crumpled piece of paper* YAOI AND YUURI COUPLES!!!!

Rishid- AW CRAPOLA X__X

Y.V.- ON WITH THE FIC!!!!! Note this will probably be part one of Y/Y couples >>

Special thanks to Spirit of the ring who help me with it, thanks my brother ^-^

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"Rishid, we forgot to get the midol"

--.-- I kno Malik-Sama I know, oh dear Ra, why does this always happen to me? I'm been a good person

………

……..

……

&# 8230;….

More or less --.__--.

I sighed at this "Lets hurry along Malik-sama" I spoke as I began to walk away from the crime scene AKA Malik-sama last stand…..well in his campaign at least…..I knew it was a bad idea to tell him that the eggs explode….well at least he simmer down

"HEY YOU WITH THE GIRLFREIND SCREW HER RIGHT NOW!!!! SAVE THE CHILDREN I TELL YOU!!!!"

O___________________O

Or maybe not……..

Quickly I grabbed his ear and proceeded to pull him away from the public "RISHID!!!" he wailed to me. Reluctantly I let go of his ear and set a stern stare at him "Malik-sama behave yourself! Do you want to get arrested like you almost did back at the store for you performance" I spoke to him. He only sulked at this.

"Jeez I'm actually trying to do something good and I get punish for it? Japan is a very starnge place indeed" he spoke back.

U___U well he does have a point there……..U__o oh look, it seems that Godzilla has decided to try and destroy Tokyo again…I swear won't that green lizard ever learn? *Sighs*

"Hey Rishid"

"Yes Malik-sama?"

"Since we didn't get Midol what are we suppose to tell Isis?"

O____________O uh-oh…..I had forgotten about Satans daughter…..well there no way in hell I'm going back there empty handed @___@ she'll probably try to eat my heart like last time…..

Ugh bad memories…..

~Now Rishid, you know you must go back there~

Don't you dare even start with me Ryou >__>

~ Hey I'm your damn conscience punk shit I'm just trying to do my fucking job all right man-bitch!!~

May I ask you something

~What?~

Do you really expect me to go back THERE with that THING while she's speaking gibberish and craving human flesh O__O

WELL!?!?!?!! O____________O

~ OO good point….~

^_________^ I actually shut up the little bastard!!!

~ I'm still here you know……~

O_______O woops….

"Well Rishid?" Malik spoke again. I turned to him "Well Malik-sama, four the next four days were going camping!" I replied to him as sweat formed on my brow. Anywhere away from her and her lady days is good enough for me, ---.--- especially since we didn't get what we needed…..she'll looking for our blood now O___O……I so hate you father…..well things couldn't get worse, I'm sure of that ^___^

"WOOGA WOOGA WOOGA!!!!!"

"WHAT IN KAMI-SAMA'S IS THAT!!!"

"AHHHH IT BIT MY ARM!!!"

"GOODNESS IT'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH"

"WAGGA HUYU HUYHU !!!"

O__________O

O__________o

o__________O

>___________<

O__________O

>__________<

O__________O

Hey look at that, it's Miss.Isis look how she is half naked with foam coming out of her mouth and blood shot eyes while she carrying a big……sharp…….pointy………stick… ;..

O____________O oh uh…..

………

… 230;…

((((O_____________O)))) AW SHIT!!!!!

SHE CAME LOOKING FOR US!!! OH MY GOD WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO!!!!! O______O SHE'S COME TO SUCK MY BRAIN STEAL MY SOUL EAT MY HEART!!! Quickly I took malik as we hid in the safety of the shadow, I peered, geez barely ten minutes and she has already caused havoc for the poor citizens of domino city.

"WOOGA WOOGA WOOGA!!!" She snarled as she twirled the sharp pointy stick at the onlookers. O____O this is geeting bad…..now the police men are involved, it seems there trying to communicate with her….those poor bastards, they don't know what they're getting themselves into….

Hmmmm I wonder what she's thinking right now as the cops are trying to talk to her Oo

Lets see what Isis is thinking Oo;;;;

Policeman A- Miss we mean no harm….

Isis Vision: PREPARE TO DIE WE SHALL FEAST ON YOUR DELCTABLE ENTRAILS!!

Isis- O_____O

Police man B- Do not be afraid maam were here to help you

Isis Vision: PH34R MY L33T|\|355!!!

Isis- Oo

Policeman A- Now please down miss, we can help you

Isis Vision- MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Isis- OO;;;; getting a bit frighten

Police man C- We come in peace ^_____^

Isis Vision- *________* WE WANT YOU IN PIECES WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!1

Isis- O________________O

*back with Rishid*

O____O Uh this does not bode well…..she's just looking at them, I wonder what she translating in that mins of hers…

Silence…utter silence…..

"GYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYA!!!"

"HOLY SHIT!!!!"

O_____________O WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING!?!? SHE JUST LUNGE AT THE POLICEMEN!!!

"HELP DON'T LET THAT THING NEAR ME!!!"

"OFFICER DOWN!!!"

"HOLY SHIT SHE BIT YOU RIGHT IN THE NADS!!!"

O_______O;;;;;; oww…..well he sterile….O.O wait a minute what am I doing here still now our chance. I quickly motion Malik sama to follow me as we slowly slid by the wall. Tip-toe…..tip-toe…that right isis keep pointing the sharp stick up the poor fellows ass….tip-toe…tip-toe…..almost there….freedom…..freedom!!!

"ACHOOO!!!!'

'Geishunheit"

"why thank you Malik-sama"

Wait…..

O.O oh shit…

"BIBIDI BOBIDI BOOOO!!!" she snarled turning to us. I gulped as I saw her bloodshot eyes fixed on me and malik sama.

"Ri-Rishid…." Malik-Sam began slightly trembling. "Malik-sama do not make sudden movements" I whispered to him. He nodded as we SLOWLY moved away from her. Then she pounced off the car landing on her arms and legs.

O____Ogulp.

"….Midol…." she spoke in a raspy voice. I felt a shiver go down my spine. "Rishid" Malik-sama spoke in a whisper. "Malik-Sama…get behind me" I whispered back. He nodded going behind Isis growled at us her eyes full of blood lust while she aim her pointy stick at my stomach.

…….

Any suggestions angel Ryou?? Demon Bakura??

~ GUN THE BITCH!!! AND DRINK HER DELICIOUS BLOOD WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!~

O_______O

…………….

-________-

Uh…..no…..

~ It is too late for her….GUN THE BITCH RA DAMMIT IT'S YOU OR HER!!!!~

@_____@

Some help you two are…. ---______---

I sighed at this and looked to the pmsing she demon….look at her so frighten…..so utterly…psychotically…. Maniacally…crazily…..with a sharp….pointy stick….aiming….to my…..

………er where was I going with this again??

My eyes darted all over a place looking for an possible escape dammit where was that scapegoat when you need it….hey there's Seto Kaiba O_O I wonder what he's…

………

^______^

BAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH said the goat ^O^

"Malik-sama…." I spoke.

"What?"

"Sing the song"

"O_O HELL NO I AINT SINGING THAT!!"

"Would you rather have Isis gut you like a fish and eat your intestines??"

"---_____--- aw dammnit" I heard him mutter. I could hear Malik-sama clear his throat preparing to sing the song that distracted her so which happen to be a favorite of mine ^__^. Now Malik-sama and a one and a two

"You give me

So many things..lately

Your all I need on no

You smile at me and said" he began to sing. All of the sudden Isi just stood there dazed while Seto Kaiba look to us with curious eyes. Slowly I got soda can while she remain distracted.

~O___O BLOODY HELL MALIKS SINGIMG THE KINHDOM HEART SONG!!~

Yeah I made him lean it by heart ^__^

~ Stupid mortal, what are you? A man or child~

You're one to talk…at least I didn't get ass raped by a harp --.___--.

~ >__> oh shut up…..~

"Hold me

whatever lies beyond this morning

Is a little bit alone…" Malik sama continued.

Okay I have to time this, I grip the soda can okay….one…two….THREE!!

"ISIS FETCH!!!"

"O__O ARF ARF!!!"

As commanded she followed the can which also happen to conveniently hit Kaiba on the forehead

SCORE!!

"NOW MALIK SAMA!!" I exclaimed grabbing his arm and hauling as much ass as possible as I heard Kaiba scream of fright and pain and Isis's trademark wooga wooga…..that'll do scapegoat….rest in pieces O__O poor unlucky bastard….

I quickly look around whereto hid, where to hide O__O HEY!! That club looks good enough!! I pulled Malik sama to the club as we ran through the back door I could barely make the words

Hmmmm

I wonder what La Paraiso Joto means? Oh well no time to think about know….I think Kaiba just been chewed out because I can hear the screams coming again O__O.

"RRIIIIISSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIDD" I heard her scream in an inhuman sound O__O oh fuck!!

Quickly I locked the backdoor of the club, woo that was a close one I wiped my forehead in relief. I looked around the place was covered with flashy lights and upbeat music….hmmm this a dance club, I'm sure miss Mazaki would enjoy a place like this, well now, I guess we could wait out here for the time being ^___^.

"Wow" I heard Malik sama said as he look around with wonder "don't wonder too far Malik-sama" I warned as I look around then my stop….can it be? Have the gods blessed me? It is it is…

A BAR!!!!!!

OoO

Oooooohhhhhhhhhhh….

……………..

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…..

That means……BOOZE LOVELY LIFE GIVING BOOZE!!!! YES AND ISIS ISN'T HERE TO STOP ME ^___^

Quickly I ran to the bar "Yo waiter, give me scotch and rocks" I ordered to the man. All of the sudden he turn around…

"No prob sweet cheeks"

O____O

……….ok…..

The man wink to me as he filled up a bottle "Here you go pretty eyes" he spoke and gave me another wink O_O…."Uh….thanks…" I spoke as I slowly lifted my glass…mmm alcohol, how I miss you luscious taste as you burn down my throat and stomach with a pleasure hazed of complete inactivity which renders me in total ecstasy ^_^

"You're new here"

I turned around seeing a very good looking man staring back smiling

O.O

…….

Damn ass Bisshie --__--…..

"And?" I said trying to continue my alcohol spree. He only chuckled at this " Are you single?" he spoke. I shrugged to him, can't he let me enjoy my scotch?? Grrr "No, single" I spoke. "What a coincidence so am I" he spoke happily giving a pat on the shoulder. I look to him "Oh really? A guy like yourself should have no problem attracting an attention of a girl" I spoke. He stared at me, then busted up laughing.

"oh shut-up" he squeal.

O___O huh?

"I'm gay" he spoke giving me a wink putting a arm around me O____________O;;;;. "I don't go that way sir" I spoke pushing his arm away ((O_O)). He gave me a strange look "Really, then why are you at a gay bar?" he ask.

O__O

………

…….

GAY

…….

……

BAR!?!?!?!?!?

{((((O)}______________________________________________{(O))))};;;;;;

I quickly stood from where I sat "Oh really then? Then I must be going" I spoke to him while he smirk at me. "GREAT RA!!! I need to find Malik-sama now!! My eyes searched around……damn, look at all these pretty men…

……

…..

Damn you bishonen --____--

Now where's Malik-sama?

O__O

THERE HE IS!!!

…………

……….

And someone's hitting on him…….

…….

THE BITCH MUST DIE!!!!

Quickly I marched over there all of the sudden

"hey there sweet ass, where are you off in such a hurry"

O_____O

PEGASUS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??

I didn't know he was…

Well…..

Er….

What am I saying of course he is --.___--.

The fruity man looked at me perversely while he came on to me…eeewwwww O_O "uh I'm not interested in you" I spoke trying to get out of his way. He cling to my arm "oh why are you such a cold fish" he pouted.

((O_O))

GET OFF ME!!!!!! I tried to struggled against him…DAMN DOES HE HAVE AN IRON GRIP!!! Oh gross…he's touching me…ewwww I'm going to have burn my arm off after this. "C'mon baldie lets go somewhere a little private" he said to me seductively.

O___________________O

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*GASP* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

~ O__O KICK HIM IN THE BALLS!!!!~

~ YOU CAN DO IT RISHID!! KICK HIM IN HIS HAIRY BALLS!!!!!~

I'm not arguing here!!!

As I raised my knee aiming to his jewels he suddenly let go seeing another pretty man walking off "oooh hey there sexy" he squealed.

PPPPHHHHHEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!

Glad to have that gay pony off me……I quickly ran to where Malik-sama was, grabbed him by the arm and proceeded to drag him away from the now pouty gay man.

"O_O Rishid, that guy said he wanted to have my baby"

O__________O

………..

………

230;……

That would be one damn pretty baby --.__--.

Maybe if I get lucky I can get him out of here before he starts asking questions.

"Rishid why are there only guys here?"

Before I could answer I hear a loud alarm coming off. O_O WTF!??!?!?!?! I looked around "What's happening" I heard Malik sama say. All the guys turned to us.

GULP!!!

"We work hard, we play hard" one of them spoke.

O_O

……..

…….. < p>What did he mean by that??

"EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!"

O__o huh?

All of the sudden bright lights exploded and little cages dropped with men in short-shorts and neon skin tight tank tops begin dancing with each other

((((O________________O))))

"Malik-Sama!!" I exclaimed as he looked at the dancing men with a very dumbfounded look whiles others were making out. Quickly I covered his eyes looking for an escape. All of the sudden we were surrounded by men in tight leather.

"Like, you not like totally leaving soon" one of them spoke. "Yes, Yes we are, excuse us" I spoke trying to get out of the way while Malik-sama was trying to pry my hands off. "Rishid I cant see" he spoke agitated.

GOOD!!! That way you won't have to gouge out your eyes!!

*KER SNAP!!!*

GAH!!! I screamed out jumping out of the whip cracking down on the floor, I looked up to see a man around my height wearing tight leather around him while he stroke his beard.

O_______O

"LICK MY BOOTS BIOTCH!!!"

"Rishid what's going on? I wanna see !!"

@___@ Great Ra….help me…..

I look around…we were surrounded I began to step back, think Rishid think!!!!

>< ERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Wait a minute O.O

Gay men + that one episode of the Simpson's = a way out!

I took a deep breathe "LOOK THERE'S A SPARK IN YOUR HAIR!!!" I screamed out. In a instant the heard girly screams raging through the crowd as the girly men began to panic and run around.

"GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!!!" they wailed while jumping around. NOW IS OUR CHANCE!! Quickly I threw Malik-sama over my shoulder and proceeded to haul ass. THE EXIT!! It was right in front of us! We slammed through the door.

FREEDOM!!!

I set Malik-sama down "Malik-sama are you all right?" I ask him.

O.O

"Malik sama?"

O.O

"Er, Malik- sama?"

O.O

0_0 uh this doesn't bode well…..I sighed while grabbing his arm as we proceeded to walk as far away as possible from that horrifying place. I was on complete guard waiting for Isis to jump out impaling us with her stick or more men with whips O_O….

"hey rishid?"

Oh shit X_X

"yes….Malik-sama…" I hesitantly answered. Malik look to me "Why were those guys kissing each other??"

I tripped on my feet.

~ Moron…~

I don't need this from you right now!

~fine, moronic mortal >>~

--___-- little bastard….

I sighed while Malik-sama helped me to my feet. "Well Rishid?" Malik-sama asked. I gulped, should I really tell him about homosexuality?

~yes~

~nah, save him the confusing remarks of sexuality~

~but he must tell Malik-sama Bakura…!~

~yeah and I say you have to shut your mouth you little pansy~

I sighed again as my evil and good side began yet another argument but I think I'll have to go with Demon Bakura this time. I cleared my throat "Well Malik-sama…" I began when suddenly.

"LOOK A REAL SIZE HARPY LADY!! AND LOOK AT HER BOOBS, THEY'RE HUGE!!!"

O.O…….^.^ thank Ra for that escape.

"THERE YOU ARE!!"

O.O

………..

……….

…R 30;…..

Uh-oh…..

I turned around, once again facing Isis, who looked quite pissed off at the moment…..clutching a pair of boxers with blue eyes white dragon decorating them….

O.O

Are those Kaiba's….?

My question wasn't answer as she held out a blood-curdling cry…OH FUCK!!! "RUN MALIK-SAMA!!" I yelled as we hauled ass. Air ran through me , I sense Malik-sama behind me and Isis close behind I looked around for another haven for us to hide in.

"AIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!!"

All of the sudden something fast went by me, I immediately stopped seeing the sharp stick landing right in front of me.

O____O HOLY SHIT!!!!

I turned around while Malik-sama hid behind me as I stared into disoriented blue eyes….we were trapped this time….it was a good life while it lasted…

…….

…… .

WHAT THE FUCK GAVE ME THAT IDEA!?!?! O______O

"RISHID THIS WAY!!' I heard Malik-sama called out. I turned around and saw him disappear in a crowd I quickly followed into it.

Hey watch it!!

Off

DAMN IT!!

Such rude people JEEZ!! "Malik-Sama!!" I called out. I looked around the sea of what seem to be marching people…wait a minute….wasn't a parade suppose to be in domino today??

…oh shit, we're smack dab middle in it!! O_O how am I going to find him now O_O

By the way…I wonder what kind of parade is this anyways…?

"WELCOME TO THE 5TH ANNUAL YAOI YUURI PRIDE PARADE!!!"

O_____________O

……….

……̷ 0;

…….

U__________U just my luck……*sigh* Ra, why must it always be me?

Because you complain too much you little bastard….

O__O…did Ra just speak to me…?

NO…er…of course not >>

---____--- oh…

"Excuse me, have you seen a blonde hair tan man?" I ask to one of the performers. "You mean him?" one of them said pointing to a float. I sighed in relief as I turned around. There he was on one of the floats "HEY THERE RISHID!!" he spoke waving at me. "MALIK-SAMA STAY RIGHT THERE!!" I spoke as I began to run at the float. "Malik-sama, are you all right?' I spoke to him. "Of course" he spoke to me. I sighed in relief "ah that's good to hear" I said while sitting down for a rest. Finally some rest

"Hey Rshid…"

_____

( >o< ) DO'H!!

"Y-Yes..Malik-sama" I spoke hesitantly. "Why did those guys kiss each other back at the club and why did that one guy say he wanted to have my baby?" he ask. I rubbed the back of me head "Eh-heh-heh…' I replied, I really don't want to explain this to him…

"Hey look Malik-sama. more of those harpies " I quickly spoke pointing at the giant crowd of girl's in harpies ladies costume being led….by……MAI KUJAKU !?!?!?!

O.O

…….

o.O

…….

O.o

…….

Wow, I never though she was lesbian O.O…then again I did sort of noticed she would try to get close to miss Anzu……naughty thought >>…..

"Rishid…those girls are kissing each other too….." Malik-sama spoke. O.O oh crap…don't tell me this is the first time he's seeing yuuri….

"Rishid…"

>< DAMN IT!!!!!

U__U might as well get it over with….

"Well, you see Malik-sama, the reason why those men and women were kissing each other is because….well….they are homosexual"

" O.o waz that?"

*Sigh*

"It means that some men like men and some women like other women" I explain to him. He looked at me clueless "Why?" he ask. Someone shoot me….please….? Another sigh escaped from me "They just don't feel attracted to the opposite sex" I explain again.

"……I don't get it?" Malik said.

-___- oh fine then..

"Ok they do that because they are VERY CLOSE friends, and that what's CLOSE friends do!' I replied sarcastically. "Does that mean the pharaoh is homosexual" he ask.

……..I wouldn't doubt it >>

I looked around, well it wasn't so bad I guess

Then….

"Hey Rishid!!'

I turn to look only to feel a pair of soft lips pressing against my own……

O_______________________O;;;;

AND THEY BELONG TO MALIK-SAMA!??!??!?!

((*)))_______________________________________________________(((*));;;; ;

~ O_____O~

~O______O….go Malik…O.O;;~

I pushed away gasping for air, I look to him incredulously "MALIK-SAMA!!!" I began horrified….O_O WHY THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT!?!?!

"^___^ What? Aren't we close friends?" he asked.

O.O;;;;….oh damn…. --.-- THAT…

I looked away a bit embarrasses……..and awkward…

"I think I like being homosexual ^_^ "

O______O uh…..does that mean he like other men oO maybe he's bisexual Oo "Er Malik-sama don't say that…" I began while he look to me.

"Why not?"

"Do you like men in *that* way?" I ask. He stopped for a moment to think "I don't know, but it felt nice when I kissed you though…." he said thoughtfully.

O___O….U___U oh boy….

Alas another joy of adolescence….

To be continued in part in two >> I think….

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Oo….oO…

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! I KNO IT SUCKED!!! AHHHHHHH!! *Runs away*

*note- I have nothing against homosexuality, this is only for the sake of torturing Rishid please don't take seriously ^-^ ;; and I am also sorry for that

fOX