| ""Trunks Lil Book Of Hentai Short Stories, Volume 1"" Reviews/Comments [ 96 ] |
| Pages (7): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Lea_D [MediaMiner Member] On: September 28, 2002 15:35 CDT
Comment/Review:
My God.. Tai, Kari and Sora.. wow... that shocked me... I usually don't liek the idea of siblings together but.... this is your story so i'll deal with it i guess.. bye for now!! |
Reviewed By: The Real Unknown [MediaMiner Member] On: September 27, 2002 16:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
The CCS chapter: uh... very intresting I think and it was odd
The Bebop chapter: pretty good
The Digimon chapter: Uh ok continue it plus your writing sounds like someone else I know I just can't remember who |
Reviewed By: dark angel of the night [MediaMiner Member] On: September 27, 2002 13:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
COOL |
Reviewed By: AnimeLover1325 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 24, 2002 12:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
It's Getting hot in here! So take off all you clothes!!!!!
Applegate
MissV1325@aol.com |
Reviewed By: Vekou [MediaMiner Member] On: September 19, 2002 14:03 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
ehm well there aren't much BULMA (damn she's hot) and Chi-Chi fics and the story wasn't boring at al it's a little short but i can live with it
pleazze write on about #18 and Bulma (damn she's hot) |
Reviewed By: Pimp Wheeler On: September 18, 2002 16:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey youre writing is definetly great but i was wondering if u could do a Joey/Mai fic from Yu-gi-oh.Thanx anyway, youre writings the best!!! |
Reviewed By: Pimp Starwind On: September 18, 2002 16:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
I love your fanfics, i dont know if u do crossovers but reading a gene starwind (Outlaw Star) and Ryoko (Tenchi Muyo) would b real cool. Either way keep writing!!! |
Reviewed By: RedEyeDragon2478 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2002 16:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
XTREME AWESOMENESS i've read some pretty good ones but yours is DA BEST!!!!!!! the downside is its to FRIKEN SHORT!!!!!!!
sorry about me spazing out like that but it was incredibly awesome i've got an idea listen up edit and put yugioh that's right YUGIOH! maybe anzu/yugi joey/mai honda/serenity
the best i've ever read deserves more than a 10 maybe a i don't know a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 i think that's a gillion or something |
Reviewed By: Chibi Beji [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2002 23:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
that's it?? Where the freak is the rest?! Eep! |
Reviewed By: misticknight2002 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2002 20:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok that is a great start to the digimon fic. I wish that I could find out what is going to happen, so get the next part up quick.^-^ |
Reviewed By: Pimp Starwind On: September 18, 2002 16:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
I love your fanfics, i dont know if u do crossovers but reading a gene starwind (Outlaw Star) and Ryoko (Tenchi Muyo) would b real cool. Either way keep writing!!! |
Reviewed By: duomaxwell [MediaMiner Member] On: August 22, 2002 20:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
they're good stories, but i like to read more stories about Card Captor Sakura. great job |
Reviewed By: AngelWingAsh [MediaMiner Member] On: August 22, 2002 18:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Read the Cowboy Bebop fic. Not bad and you really did stick to the show!!! Very nice. |
Reviewed By: anime_wannabe [MediaMiner Member] On: August 19, 2002 21:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
O...M...G...I dont even think I can rate this. It was, weird reading the first chappy, VERY WEIRD. I'm not used to it but it was FUCKIN FUNNY DUDE! |
Reviewed By: shaddeh [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2002 23:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, okay, before you go yellin' at me for giving such low ratings, let me explain. First off, I do rate hard, I admit. I'm picky, especially when it comes to hentai.
Spelling isn't much of a problem, which is good, but the grammar is what struck me most. Commas and such go inside quotations. (Example: "Marie," he called. "What are you doing?") Id is a contraction, properly spelled "I'd." (More examples: I'm, I'll, we're, we'd, et cetera...)
The originality...well...there's a bit to be desired there. Getting locked in a room together - it's been done a thousand times over. It's the classic 'oh look we just happen to be alone' situation...fabricating a believable plot within a lemon, even a one-shot, makes Shad SO much happier. It also ups the 'enjoyment factor' a good deal...
I'll choose to ignore altogether the DBZ lesbian fic and the pizza cats thing. I have no interest in yuri and I've never seen Samurai Pizza Cats, so that's why.
The Slayers fic actually had a pretty good idea to it...but if you write for the literary value, man, at least make your hentai *tasteful!* Jeez...I take it you wrote this for guys...x_x
The main reason I rated so low on the enjoyment factor and the style of writing was because, for one, that as I said it's not very original, and two, the characters' voices seem flat...which could be partly due to the lack of decent grammar and punctuation. The description in general (And I do not mean the description of sex...) needs some tinkering. May I suggest getting a beta reader? A reliable one at that...they may be hard to find but they do wonders for your work. Better yet, get several. I always have a couple people look over my own one-shots...
Again -- don't get me wrong. I honestly think you have a good deal of potential. May I suggest exploring other, non-lemony genres to sharpen your knife of skill...? |
| Pages (7): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 › » ] |
