| "Heroes Unite" Reviews/Comments [ 22 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Title: It's good but...
Reviewed By: DarkSnowSorceress [MediaMiner Member] On: December 31, 2008 00:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok i will admit that i love your fics and i'm definitely loving this arc but the thing is that Hiei's emotions are kinda annoying. Like one minute he loves his family and the next he's yelling at one of his children. And then he wants Toushi to feel like his biological son and not treat him different yet he totally freaks out on him for his opinions. And then Kurama barley even defends the kids when Hiei has these moments. He doesn't even get mad at him and even goes as far as to tell one of his Toushi to keep his opinions completely to himself! I mean u kinda bounce around with them and their parenting/character style. I could definitely say that while i'm not trying to be overly harsh this could definitely be better if u would decide whether u want hiei and kurama to be kind and caring to the point of almost showing weakness of if you want them to be hard and cold to the point of raising their children to be hardcore demons. Particularly u need to decide this with hiei because having him yell at his son for saying that public desplays of emotion/affection seemed gross and then turning around and taking his mate away when he had a full blown break down Kaihei and Sakana where kidnapped was a major flaw for me. Its also annoying how hiei is trying to control kurama and kurama is just letting it happen (and yes i realize some of that was just sex and i'm not talking about the sex part or the times when all the times when kurama lost his cool.), him getting pregnant just to keep kurama was the most annoying part of this to read. Like more annoying than what i mentioned earlier and to be honest it almost put me off of this. But while i'm cutting down your writing i must also give it it's props and it definitely is deserving. I think it's a wonderful idea for you to pair the boys together and its also very original! You have also done this crossover between the two animes beautifully, most people can't pull this off even close to as well as you've done!! And The battle scenes were truly excellent! Very original and detailed/described but not over the top. Hiei trying to kill himself was truly interesting and slightly unexpected but only slightly, i kinda see it as him somewhat getting back at kurama for breaking one promise to him but also i see the true sadness that you meant it to be. All and all it's a good story and i'm definitely going to continue to be a fan but it still has some major flaws that i as a fan can't overlook.
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Reviewed By: Helcat805 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 14, 2006 14:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
noooooo, there is only one more chapter left!
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Reviewed By: Helcat805 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 08, 2006 19:38 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
2 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT!!!! You are the best fanfic writer ever!!!
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Reviewed By: Helcat805 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 21, 2006 00:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
5 more chapters left, make them super long XD UPDATE!!!
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Reviewed By: Amine ^^ On: September 11, 2006 10:09 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
*sniff sniff* I sooo wish Kurama is saved before anything bad happens to him, and that the kids get back safely! =) next chap plz...
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Reviewed By: Amine ^^ On: September 11, 2006 10:08 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
*sniff sniff* I sooo wish Kurama is saved before anything bad happens to him, and that the kids get back safely! =) next chap plz...
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Title: hellcat805
Reviewed By: Helcat805 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 03, 2006 02:17 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
best chapter ever!!! I love it. update, update, update!!!
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Title: Arrgh! Spelling please!
Reviewed By: spellingfreak On: August 18, 2006 23:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
How many times have I come upon a fanfic with the wrong form of the verb "drag". When you wrote "The women drug their mates inside, pushing them toward a long row of tables." it should be: the women dragged their mates... Not Drug. That is not the correct form of verb. Drug means medicine, or that powdery white thing that makes you high. It frustrates me when people make this mistake.
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Title: Arrgh! Spelling please!
Reviewed By: No one On: August 18, 2006 23:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
How many times have I come upon a fanfic with the wrong form of the verb "drag". When you wrote "The women drug their mates inside, pushing them toward a long row of tables." it should be: the women dragged their mates... Not Drug. That is not the correct form of verb. Drug means medicine, or that powdery white thing that makes you high. It frustrates me when people make this mistake.
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Reviewed By: hellcat805 On: July 25, 2006 00:13 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
sorry, that i have not updated in a while. been busy with college. you really should have more reviews for this story. i did not know that i was holding my breath when i read that chapter. can't wait for the next update.
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Reviewed By: hellcat805 On: May 22, 2006 23:14 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow, that was awsome especially the energy kiss. I loved it! ^_^ Can't wait for the next update.
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Reviewed By: Ma-zoku [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2006 10:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
That was a good chapter. Especially when Hiei revealed the Black Dragon to them. I was wondering if he was going to do that anytime soon. I have a question though. Did you get the idea of energy being transferred through a kiss from Her Magities Dog? It's a manga I read and the leading lady feeds the leading man with energy through a kiss. It's just a thought, but I guess it's a common concept. Oh well. I patiently await your next update. ~Number One Fan~
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Reviewed By: Ma-zoku [MediaMiner Member] On: April 28, 2006 19:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
Where's my, "We decided to have a little girl right now."? I wish you'd let Hiei surprise Kurama by having a little girl right under his... well he would notice like a day or two after conception, but still. Aw well. It's still a great chapter except for the end. It's sad. You pulled a little to hard on my heart strings. But it was still kinda cute when you imagine Toushi's itty bitty hand latching onto to Hiei's not so tiny hand. It reminds me of when a friend's newborn brother grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. It's so cute! Make me smile with some hot yaoi-ness next chapter please! ~Number One Fangirl~
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Reviewed By: hellcat805 On: April 27, 2006 21:57 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
yay, everything is ok with Hiei and Kaihei ^_^
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Reviewed By: Ma-zoku [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2006 07:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
... OMG!!! HIEI SCARES ME!!! I didn't think he would blow up that bad over it. I mean I do it to my family sometimes we they start gay-bashing, but man, Hiei, I almost wet my pants. (Joking, I'm just joking!) Anyways, I wonder who could possibly be the one behind all the pranks. I think it might be Kaihei or even Toushi. But that's just my input on it. Though you would know, you wrote it. Well I enjoyed reading this chapter and I hope you get Hiei pregnant with a little girl sometime soon. I won't wait forever ya know. Great chapter! Update soon! ~Number One FanGirl~
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