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| "Lucky 13" Reviews/Comments [ 20 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] | Title: Hmm...
Reviewed By: Rik (AKA TheVulpineHero1) On: June 24, 2008 13:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well..I know what you meant when you said that it was your best one in your own opinion...To be brutally honest, it isn't as entertaining as MFP, but it has something else- a very difficult quality to quantify. Although it isn't as outright entertaining (I blame my own taste for this, I LOVE comedy), you just can't help but to read on. It was a good idea to put this story as a POV style story- it makes the work more personable and exciting. I once heard that POV is very good for expressing extremes in either action or emotion because it's so much more involving than a less intimate style. Oh, and I have to give you props for being so brave- if you're not making all this stuff about your own life up (sides SSHS and similar), you've certainly got balls to put it on the net. I like this because in a way, it's much more challenging than your other works. Even as you read it, you start to feel a strain on your mind that shows it's getting good excercise. It's a story that encourages the reader to look deeper into what they see, and to read between the lines. It's easy to see why you gave it the little used 'psychological' genre. Obviously, the main theme of this story is luck- and it's a point you remind us of in each and every chapter. In my school, we're told to do the same when writing essays- relate each paragraph back to the question. It makes the work more convincing. I particularly like the continued repetition of the word 'broken' in chapter four. It gives a lot of atmosphere, and shows the despair and angst felt by the narrator more clearly. It's a little point that adds to the story in a big way. Another little point(possibly me going crazy here) is that for some reason, Vector's portrayal reminds me of Benji Watson, the quarterback from earlier in the story...dunno why, exactly, but it does. As I say, this is much deeper than MFP...and actually, I think it's the better for it. It puts a very tactile picture in my head- because I am, essentially, seeing exactly what the narrator sees, I can imagine it a lot more clearly. The fluffy scenes are pretty awesome as well- it's a good version of an older Cream's personality. All in all, it's a great story. Now I want to go and write a POV of my own, but I'm too sick to do anything worthwhile...I'm gonna make a mental note to make a POV story one day. And...I've rambled. Great story- I can see why you're having trouble capturing that writing style again, but I also have utter confidence that you can do it.
| Title: KOOL
Reviewed By: TheRealScootTh [MediaMiner Member] On: January 21, 2007 05:00 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
when you coming back daug u bin away from mm.org for ages please come back oh and lova all your stories so *whimpering* please come back
| Title: Awesomly Well done
Reviewed By: BlackKitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: September 13, 2006 17:03 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
All those ratings are an understatement. I give you a 100 on the hole thing.More even. Very enjoyable,hoping for more chapters soon.
| Title: O_0
Reviewed By: jetset6 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 22, 2006 17:52 CDT
Comment/Review:
I NEED MORE!!!! this story is getting adictively interesting. i need more soon pretty please.
| Reviewed By: Tails_Worship14 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2006 22:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
Damn Josh! You really outdone yourself, even though that doesn't seem possible, considering how great you are at writing. I can't wait to see how you are gonna adjust to being a cat and meeting new people. Anyway, please update soon!
| Title: Yes, Josh, we all love it
Reviewed By: Watch 4 Stars On: July 03, 2006 11:58 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ya gotta luv the fluff! lol He missed her... Heck of an excuse, that. lol And why wouldn't Cream believe it? Well... Okay, so it is a pretty fantastic tale, but still. It would explain Sable not remebering anything, and all that. What's really cool about this story, besides the fluffy fluff, is that one knows that Sable and Cream don't work out because of the prologue, but one can't help but hope for them! One can't help but forget the prologue ever existed and concentrate on the story, and the fluffy fluff, and one reads it through. That's annoying... But so genius... kk, luv you and this story! BYEZ! ~_^
| Title: I return!
Reviewed By: Tails11 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2006 16:14 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey YiffyOne! Sorry I haven't reviewed this story in a while, meant to do it, but life, being life, got in the way. So, as I did before, I'll review each of the chapters I haven't reviewed yet. 3: Well, you certainly described the cat well, very haunting aura about it from the start. And the bell sounded like something from a really good horror movie, meaning it was extra creepy. Lady Luck would have a grudge against him for not believing in luck, the entire chapter made complete sense, right down to the "Curiosity killed the cat" bit! 4: Depressing start, but then I guess I'd be depressed too if that had happened to me like that. Someone kicked you! Shows what jerks the world has sometimes. If anything, it's a good thing Cream found you, I mean, she IS one of the happiest and friendliest of the gang. What she did for you and how she acted was EXACTLY the sort of thing Cream would do. I'm incredibly impressed. Oh, nice name pick by the way. 5: It's interesting how you made the distinction between Sable and Josh, I liked it. I'm also very impressed with just how sneaky Cream is with her Step-dad. It took me till about half-way through, but I finally figured out it was. Detective friends, alligator - I should've got it right then, but somehow I missed it - It's Vector! 13, the number seems to haunt you now, as old Lady Luck would happen to have it. And it's been, if Cream was age 6, which I think she was, 12 years! Oh, one last thing before I move on: wonderful way to end the chapter. 6: A hug! What else would Cream do if someone complimented her like that? Shame the gang separated like they did. Very life-like. Cream really seems to have a hold on quite a few talents, drawing and cooking to name a few. If I had to hazard a guess about what it felt like to, essentially, disappear and wonder what my friends and family were thinking, I probably wouldn't feel that great either. As Josh's mother said, "You don't know what you've got til' it's gone." Also, once again, nice way to end the chapter. So! Now that life isn't in the way, as much, I'll be able to keep track of the story better, and keep my reviews on a regular basis. One more thing that just occurred to me: Sable is a black cat, a symbol of bad luck, and the shirt he wears has the number 13 on it, whereas Cream has two rabbit feet, which should cancel the bad luck being presented there. Keep it up, and continue the story as soon as you can! (If you get this review several times, my apologies, the silly thing is giving me problems.)
| Title: ch 5, yes I double-checked
Reviewed By: Watch for Stars again On: July 01, 2006 15:02 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
*snickers* Sable/You called her pretty. That's so cute! Crap, I still haven't gotten those dvd's copied for my mom... *rolls eyes* That's right, I read this before I did what Mom told me to do. Feel the love! lol Vector's her stepdad. that's so kewl! You've aged Cream a whole lot in this story... 12 years...Whoa...
| Title: chap 4
Reviewed By: Watch 4 Stars On: July 01, 2006 14:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm stupid, the last review was for ch 3, not 4...This one's for ch 4! lol Yes, I am gonna review all 3 chaps seperately! Cream named you Sable. That's a clever idea. And there's always hope for a broken thing. Always.
| Title: ch 4
Reviewed By: Watch 4 Stars On: July 01, 2006 14:29 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh wow, Josh...Wow. Reading that actually hurt me... You really are one hell of an author... Lady Luck kinda reminded me of Amy...lol
| Title: A Sonic Tale!
Reviewed By: Darkringer's Guest mode! On: May 15, 2006 14:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Beautiful pieces of writing thus far! I was a tiny bit upset with the first chapter lacking any linkage to the characters. But, that's not to say I didn't like it. On the contrary, despite the said lacking, the story-line and amusement factor of your story is far too big to be listed in a rating! At least a rating on these scales anyway.... take no notice of these '10' values, this story is worth more than that! Keep up the good work mate! I look forward to your next installment! Oh, and never mind the username, I'm just too lazy to log-on!
| Reviewed By: Tails11 On: April 24, 2006 18:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, Im reviweing both of your chapters here, so this will hopefully be longer than one of my normal reviews. Chapter 2- ...Interesting start. I have to say, I was not expectating that, but it was good never-the-less. I know the kind of teacher you're talkign about, they're pretty darn annoying. I like Star and Amy, very good. Wonderful work. Chapter 3- I gotta say, this is definately some of your BEST work I have seen. I think was worded slightly off, but you know what i mean, i hope. Anyway the but the mom was good and the IMing bit was fantastic. I noticed as I was writing this review that two of the writing styles looked familiar to the ones in your chapter. Thats not a bad thing mind you, i like it. However, the last chunk of writing... if I could write like... that was incredible. It was really like what a child would think or talk like. It was, and i don't say this lightly in the least, glorious. Truly and absolutely perfect. The robot was the toy, Sonic the ball, it was like you were seeing everything through your younger eyes. Incredible, simply incredible. The whole black cat thing looks like it just MIGHT be important. Maybe. (I'm being sarcastic here, obviously. If its not obvious, do tell me so i can work on it.) Now, as i ususally, if not always, say at the end of my reviews... Update as soon as you can!
| Reviewed By: Watch For Stars BE-YOTCH! On: April 24, 2006 08:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
LMFAO I love you, I really do, but...WHY'D YA HAVE TO MAKE ALL THOSE SHORT JOKES! I will kill you... Painfully... Brutally... I will DESTROY you... Don't think I won't... Plus, I'M NOT SWEET! >.< Jerk-off... I have a reputation, ya know! Anywayz... LOVED the chapter! As per normal, right? lol Man, the 4-year-old POV was so CUTE! You know the high little squeaky toy voice lil kids ALWAYS seem to have? Yeah, that's what was in my head while I read this! Man, I love having a sub in my computer class...Like right now! ~_^ OH YEAH! Breakin' the rules! WOOT! I thought it was really cute how you had yourself call Eggman's machine a "toy." lol "Cute" is obviously my word of the day... Oh well... Sonic is the best blue hedgie EVER! LOOOOVE HIM! And Tails tossed a "glowing yellow thing." lol For slow people, that was a RING. You know? Those lil things that you hafta collect in the games? Any of this ringin' a bell? No? Wow... You're stupid... lol See? I'm MEAN! Get that through your head Joshua! MEAN LIL BITCH! GRRR! Anywayz, Updates must occur with the utmost haste, ya got it? Don't care WHAT it is, as long as it's soon! MUST....READ...MORE... *dies of impatience* lol See? Amy's not the only impatient one outta this group! lol Okay, UPDATE! Luv ya, Josh! Byez! ~_^ P.S. Oh yeah! You know you like this review! lmao I am so very bored...
| Title: OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: LUV SHADOW 14* On: April 23, 2006 18:29 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG! THIS IS, LIKE, THE COOLEST STORY EVER! AND, I SOUNDED LIKE A FRIGGIN' PREP THERE... DIE PREPS... ANYWAYS... LOL I THINK THIS IS THE BEST CHAPTER SO FAR... MY FAVORITE PART, HAS TO BE WHEN YOU DO THE 4 YEAR OLD FLASH BACK... IT'S SO CUTE! YOU KNOW THE SMALL, KINDA WHINEY VOICE THAT KIDS HAVE? WELL, I HAD THAT VOICE IN MY HEAD THE WHOLE TIME I WAS READING THAT PART. IT WAS SO COOL! LOL I ALSO LIKED THE TIE IN WITH SONIC AND EGGMAN, WHICH WOULD BE THE 4 YEAR OLD FLASH BACK PART, BUT STILL, I LIKED IT A LOT! LOL YEAH, THIS IS A MASTERPIECE, AND DON'T SAY IT'S NOT, CAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS... AND I KNOW IT IS... AND STAR KNOWS IT IS... AND ANYONE ELSE WHOSE READ IT BETTER KNOW IT IS... OK, I'M DONE MAKING IDLE THREATS... TIME TO MAKE SOME PROMISES... LOL THIS STORY IS GREAT AND FUN TO READ... IT'S GOT LOTS OF SURPRISES AND STUFF IN IT... LIKE THE BLACK CATS... I REALLY LIKE THE CATS... EVEN THOUGH I'M A DOG PERSON MYSELF, CATS ARE... HMM... TOLERABLE, TO SAY THE LEAST... BUT, ANYWAYS, THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST (MAYBE EVEN THE BEST) STORIES THAT I'VE EVER READ! THIS TRULY IS A WORK OF ART! ~LUV SHADOW 14~ ;)
| Title: good god
Reviewed By: Luv Shadow 14* On: April 13, 2006 22:36 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
LMAO! I LOVE THIS STORY! HEY, WHAT'D I TELL YOU? I HIT HARDER THAN STAR! AND... YOU MIGHT WANNA INCORPORATE THAT... LOL YEAH... NOW I'M THE ONE RAMBLING ON... MAN... I'M SO BORED... AND YET SO AWAKE... HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T IMed ME YET? SLOWNESS... OH WELL... GUESS I'LL HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO "DO THE HONERS" AS THEY SAY... LOL GREAT STORY BY THE WAY! LOVE IT! ~LUV SHADOW 14~ ;)
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