| "Willpower" Reviews/Comments [ 304 ] |
| Pages (21): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 › » ] |
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2003 13:32 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow! When I saw that this was not only NC-17 but also on the most-visited list, I thought the worst, but this had a great plot with great twists and cool character depictions. I was chortling out loud from chapter one!
"Honey, please tell me what's wrong. Are you mad at me? You're not sick are you; is it-- Why is this cookie jar labelled 'willpower'?" |
Reviewed By: Danaë [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2003 07:05 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
emm... wow...
this storyis soo cool.. you're really good at this..
and I suck on writing reviews..... lol |
Reviewed By: amberwaves On: January 23, 2003 15:24 CST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
BWA HA HA! This is the greatest. I laughed, I cried, I'm going to read it again and again. But poor Vegeta... hehe somehow I wonder if he deserves it? NAH! |
Reviewed By: daniel meyers On: January 09, 2003 17:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it was fucking funny. |
Reviewed By: Legana On: November 08, 2002 11:46 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
cool story LOL.
hmm Vegeta is hot....*drools* |
Reviewed By: Lady Pesh [MediaMiner Member] On: November 07, 2002 22:10 CST
Comment/Review:
Sorry about posting that review twice. I tried to stop the submit function to fix my tags, I didn't realize it had already processed. :) |
Reviewed By: Lady Pesh [MediaMiner Member] On: November 07, 2002 22:08 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok, I apologize if I repeat anything you've been told before. You have so many reviews; I didn't want to spend half of my evening scouring for redundancies.
Ok, here goes:
Style of Writing: Not bad, but some things seemed rushed. For example, that was the shortest meal/party I think I've ever experienced. The lemon scenes were generally enticing, but again some details lacked in a manner that left some moments disproportioned. You should also watch out for adding little side comments that could be classified as author's notes if studied closely. Show us; don't tell us.
Spelling & Grammar: Previous reviewers seemed lenient on this subject as I skimmed through, but I must say, there were WAY too many mistakes to be acceptable for such a wonderful storyline. Hire a beta-reader ASAP if you don't have a spelling/grammar check. (Btw: Quipped: A witty or sarcastic remark; jest. NOT a manner in which someone's interest is captured, as I believe you used it in the story. It was also misplaced in another statement somewhere.) You should also practice with your adverbs. I found the word 'usually' used more than once where 'usual' should have been the form. I reiterate, find a beta.
Originality/Creativity: This is the most original storyline I've read to date in the world of DBZ/GT lemons. Most people focus on getting the characters in the sack, not keeping them out of it. Bravo!
Enjoyment Factor: Outside of the glaring spelling/grammar errors (and the fact that Veg had his flame-style hair back in a GT timeframe), I truly enjoyed this fic. It's been awhile since I've found a story that could grasp my attention strongly enough to finish it in one sitting.
Overall Rating: This was a good fic. With a little fine-tuning, it will be a great fic.
Forgive me if I ever sounded overly harsh during this review. I'm very tired right now and a little cranky. I only want to see this story achieve its full potential if you're willing to let it. Thank you for posting this wonderful story, and again, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in the least. |
Reviewed By: Lady Pesh [MediaMiner Member] On: November 07, 2002 22:05 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok, forgive me if I repeat anything you've been told before. You have so many reviews; I didn't want to spend half of my evening scouring for redundancies.
Ok, here goes:
[b]Style of Writing:[/b] Not bad, but some things seemed rushed. For example, that was the shortest meal/party I think I've ever experienced. The lemon scenes were generally enticing, but again some details lacked in a manner that left some moments disproportioned. You should also watch out for adding little side comments that could be classified as author's notes if studied closely. Show us; don't tell us.
[b]Spelling & Grammar:[/b] Previous reviewers seemed lenient on this subject as I skimmed through, but I must say, there were WAY too many mistakes to be acceptable for such a wonderful storyline. Hire a beta-reader ASAP if you don't have a spelling/grammar check. (Btw: [b]Quipped:[/b] A witty or sarcastic remark; jest. NOT a manner in which someone's interest is captured, as I believe you used it in the story. It was also misplaced in another statement somewhere.) You should also practice with your adverbs. I found the word 'usually' used more than once where 'usual' should have been the form. I reiterate, find a beta.
[b]Originality/Creativity:[/b] This is the most original storyline I've read to date in the world of DBZ/GT lemons. Most people focus on getting the characters in the sack, not keeping them out of it. Bravo!
[b]Enjoyment Factor:[/b] Outside of the glaring spelling/grammar errors (and the fact that Veg had his flame-style hair back in a GT timeframe), I truly enjoyed this fic. It's been awhile since I've found a story that could grasp my attention strongly enough to finish it in one sitting.
[b]Overall Rating:[/b] This was a good fic. With a little fine-tuning, it will be a great fic.
Forgive me if I ever sounded overly harsh during this review. I'm very tired right now and a little cranky. I only want to see this story achieve its full potential if you're willing to let it. Thank you for posting this wonderful story, and again, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in the least. |
Reviewed By: Joe T. On: October 27, 2002 00:00 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved this story, especially ch. 12. No not just because of the catfight (although that did raise my interest), but because of Gohan's & Vegeta's intrest in watching it. The only way that could've gone better is if Gohan & Vegeta started cheering them on. (BWAAAHHH-HA-HA-HA...)
Oh, and the real moral to this story is: Don't let your friends write checks your ass has to cash!
Joe T. |
Reviewed By: ValkyrieX [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2002 12:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm not sure why I never reviewed this before because its gotta be one of the most funniest, entertaining fics I've ever read! lol. I spotted a few spelling errors but that's alright. I especially liked the line "...the idea of a sexual frustrated Vegeta running a muck was just plain... scary" imagine that, LOL. And that scene where Gohan and Vejita were enjoying the catfat! Good job. |
Reviewed By: Naturi [MediaMiner Member] On: October 25, 2002 15:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I LOVED THIS!! I LAUGHED UNTIL i CRIED!!!! I MADE A SIMILAR BET WITH MY SIS IN LAW AND BEST FRIEND ABOUT OUR HUSBANDS....AND I WILL SAY, YEAH I LOS, AFTER ONLY TWO DAYS... *WELL HELL I'M SORRY, BUT HE'S SOOOOOOO GOOODDDDDDD....ooooooohhhhh* (COUGH) ANYWAYS, I LOVED THIS STORY, AND YOU ARE NOW ONE OF MY FAV AUTHORS!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! |
Reviewed By: Goku's Lover [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2002 23:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow! I loved reading this fic. I got so into it that I didn't even realize it was over already. Very good! |
Reviewed By: Lonesayain [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2002 23:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story was soooo good! I loved your idea on making the women bet on what they love the most. Haha. But it was fun reading it and I especially liked when Bulma and Videl fought. That was funny. *Sighs* I just wished it didn't have to end so soon. *sighs again but happily* |
Reviewed By: NYLACE [MediaMiner Member] On: October 19, 2002 02:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG...this was great! |
Reviewed By: Mia Skywalker [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2002 01:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh god! I loved the line, "is her mind stronger than Vegeta's libido?" That completely cracked me up! ^_^
You had some sentences with missing words. For instance:
They bet they could sustain from sex longer the other.
You should have a "than" in there. It should be "longer THAN the other". There were others like that, a beta reader would catch those.
I'm really tempted to ask you if I could beta for you. I'm booked with it as it is, but your fics are very good, and just need these corrections to be truly excellent. But I don't know if you would be offended by that, seeing as you don't know me. I hope you're not, but I really feel these could be made so much more professional. |
| Pages (21): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 › » ] |
