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| "In The Grass So Deep" Reviews/Comments [ 24 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] | Reviewed By: BornUndead [MediaMiner Member] On: June 24, 2009 16:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
I enjoyed this. You definitely have a unique style. I concur with MononokeFeatherhead's review that the description "pussy lips' is a tad blunt for the usage of other descriptions within your fiction. I am writing a fanfic at this point that will soon include a hard lemon scene and I found that just writing "moistened lips" or "her silken petals" often accomplishes what you want. That being said. If you want a "hard" fiction then that discription fits what you want then it works. Yet I am not much one to talk. Its a FAN FICTION it isn't meant to be a Novel or a published piece of work. So make it what you want. good job- BornUndead
| Title: Sensitive Pornographic? I don't think so XP
Reviewed By: MononokeFeatherhead [MediaMiner Member] On: August 07, 2008 09:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Coming from the sarcastic girl i am, San could be a pornstar for all I know. I would say that this is the first hardcore fanfic hentai I have found on princess mononoke, I was even wondering when San and Ashitaka would become more than just 'buddy-buddy-chum-chums'. It is interesting, yet again the characters did somehow lose their inhibitions at one stage, which could be both a good thing and a bad thing. Yet the only thing I just cringe on is the term 'pussy lips', to me, it just sounds so dirty (and NOT in the sexual way). Here's what i think, if you want to make a good sex fanfic, don't put down the names or the slangs for the genital parts, but if you feel like you have too, try do it in a more 'poshy' or 'classy' way like 'breasts' and 'nipples' and 'penis' there's nothing wrong with saying 'penis'. i always say that to my friends all the time. And my favourite words to describe your 'pussy lips': 'womanhood'. And this is what I wrote down for the penis in my sex fanfic: 'manhood' and wait for it...'weapon of genitalia' funny and yet sexy at the same time. In my sexy fanfics, I never really go for the hardcore kind, I'm more of a softplate, romantic, yet really rough writer at the same time, at a moderate speed, lol. but who am I to know, I'm a woman. Yet, I think you're really brave for putting up a fanfic like this, I was always thinking when the hell will Princess Mononoke slip into something more erotic yet it still sustains her inhibitions at the same time. Excellent, EXCELLENT work. P.S I just hate the bit where Ashitaka has to taste his own semen, it kinda grossed me out a little XP
| Title: you annoying people! (not you author!)
Reviewed By: Fenril [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2007 12:15 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
you people... San had obviously done it before with some1 else to explain how she knew what to do, i can understand the want for a doggy style chapter, maybe that will come, but GEEZE give the author a break, this is the ONLY halfway decent princess mononoke lemon! stupid flamers...
| Reviewed By: Liesie [MediaMiner Member] On: July 05, 2007 21:15 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was pretty good. I liked the use of the characters' names; you know, once at the beginning of the paragraph and then not until the next one. To answer your pronunciation question concerning San's name, it's like "lawn" but with an "s". Kinda. I was a little disappointed with the lack of even the tiniest bit of apprehension on San's part and the nonexistant doggie-style. San was a little out of character, but in a good way; it's a nice change from her usual uptight, wolf-wannabe, I-hate-huumans demeanor. Remember: doggie-style!
| Reviewed By: Neko Kurama [MediaMiner Member] On: April 07, 2005 20:17 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I had to refind this fic just to review it. ^^ It is the only good lemon I have ever found; I would like to commend you on that. Good work. Other than that my only complaint is what has been mentioned above, San (I think it was taken from the name suffix -san, as in Mr./Mrs. and a generalization of "human" I guess) was not nervous. I'm no all knower when it comes to lemon, but I felt there was some improvement possible; but it was still the greatest lemon I have read. Once again, good work.
| Title: nice
Reviewed By: DarkZiro On: March 31, 2005 16:35 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it was so good and by the way its spelled San
| Reviewed By: Hentai Review On: August 16, 2004 00:13 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well other then the previous comments about Saun, I say it's... not all too well done. I mean my first complaint is the term "pussy lips" I mean seriously. Unless your aiming for shakey camera trailor trash type porn, "pussy lips" just doesn't cut it. Actually I'm going to sum this up for you, if your going to write a fanfic, keeps the characters IN CHARACTER. Don't change wonderful characters into slutty cheap porn nock offs just for the sake of writing a poorly done lemon.
| Reviewed By: blue dragonflam On: June 19, 2004 22:31 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Firs off some of the time, you spelled san saun, but you've probably relised that already. Second, I'm not sure how many of us have had these thoughts, but, how would San know what to do? It's not like like Moro would be able to sit her down and give her the talk. Moro wouldn't know how the human reproductive system works any more than my cat would. I did how ever love the fic, and think you should continue writing. we need more Princess Mononoke fics her and in general.
| Title: Awsome Fic
Reviewed By: Kalika142 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2004 11:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
Awsome fice dude!(dudett?)Well anyways, did you know wthat you had the second chapter first and the first chapter second? o.O...anyways...AWSOME FIC!!
| Reviewed By: pink vamp2 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2004 00:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
ok ummm things u did "wrong" well i think the kinkyness drives people away, after all not all peps like that kinda stuff as for me i thought it was ok not as good as i would have hoped but, well its hard to wright a good ashitaka and san fic,merley becausew well most peps cant think of san with ashitaka! ^_^; i on the other hand love them togeather and wish there where more of these storys on mm.org!p.a.p need u to continue on buitiful lemons for us!!!!! ~~~nikki-chan~~~~~
| Reviewed By: pSyChOeLePhAnT On: February 28, 2004 23:44 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
really good! pleese write more fics!
| Reviewed By: angelbabe17 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 13, 2003 22:34 CST
Comment/Review:
lol sometimes kink is good
| Reviewed By: Molly the younger twin On: November 28, 2003 13:42 CST
Comment/Review:
AW! finally the two get together took long enough the only thing I can saw bad about this fic is some of the lang. is kinda unrealistic but thats it. Anyway I gotta go I'm writting my first fic for MM today and I'm only just started so TOODLES!
| Reviewed By: Crystal Princess On: November 11, 2003 17:33 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
NO NO NO! It's all wrong. San should be nervous. She doesn't know how humans mate! RE-DO BIG-TIME!!!!!!!
| Reviewed By: Marcy A Mc Ott [MediaMiner Member] On: September 09, 2003 03:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have a little tip for you, when you would write good lemons.
You schould never know the characters things, they shouldn't know, and dont change theyr character. In your fic Soun knows what sex is, but she lived with wolfes, and i dont think they showed it to her! But your lemon was realy good. I have enjoyed it :-) | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
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