| "Inhibited Passion" Reviews/Comments [ 25 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Title: ch22
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 08:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Wow, that was a very exciting and tense chapter, the only thing I'd say is its a bit weird that the focus has shifted away from the classroom and the fact that Vegeta is her teacher, it seems to be forgotten about. But again, I enjoyed this chapter, and the way you built up suspense.
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Title: CH 18
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 07:42 CST
Comment/Review:
So Vegeta has his own successful business as well, and is rivals with Bulma's stalker, i'm further intrigued. I don't undersatnd why Bulma doesn't recognise C.S if they were as close as he seems to think they were, could she forget him so easily, or maybe it meant more to him than it did to her.
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Title: ch15
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 07:15 CST
Comment/Review:
lol, McDonals, that was hilarious, Vegeta is too cruel, I don't think Victoria will take that lightly, also I bet she heard a lot of that conversation between Bulma and Vegeta, I wonder what she will do with the information.
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Title: ch9
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 06:38 CST
Comment/Review:
The dreaded encounter at school...(rushes to read the next chap)
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Title: CH 7
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 06:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh my gosh you had me going for a while, that was unexpected. what's going to happen when they meet at school, I have a suspicion that headteacher is going to be trouble as well.
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Title: ch6
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 06:15 CST
Comment/Review:
Vegeta is so cute when he's drunk, who knew he had a goofy side to him, almost childlike an innocent
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Title: ch 4
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2008 06:04 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm liking where your going with this story, it's quite a different take to the development of their relationship, it doesn't seem so tortured, it's seems more callm natural, how Vegeta would act if he didn't go through the hell that he did as a youth. It's refreshing seeing this side to Vegeta. I wonder what will happen when he finds out the truth, will the paradise last for long?
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Reviewed By: DBZ-FAN-JESS [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2005 23:36 CDT
Comment/Review:
so I'm rereading your story and I'm like oh yeah I'm in this one... ha ha... I love it, its so cute... ^_^
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Title: more
Reviewed By: speed of sound On: April 20, 2005 11:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
so you updated it? I thought you actually added a chapter to it. please do so. i like the original theme of this story.
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Title: Inhibited Passion
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer [MediaMiner Member] On: April 15, 2005 20:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters? Can you write this story on www.adultfanfiction.net
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Reviewed By: The Oujis Mate [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2004 18:24 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ahhhhhh, the horror of another evil cliffy!!! Oh well, it makes me want the next chapter even more. Wonderful chapter; I can't wait for the next one. Please hurry!!!
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Reviewed By: vegetas girl On: April 10, 2004 09:25 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey that was a great start please hurry and up date thanks, later
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Title: Chapter 5
Reviewed By: Shadow Megatron [MediaMiner Member] On: April 09, 2004 02:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hot dawg, I will give ya this mucvh, you certainlly are inspired indeed. I hope you write more on this, I laughed at the 'adult situations' Kudos
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Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2003 00:07 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
*sniffles* Bulma may not mind the age thing, but I'm wondering if it might (eventually) bother Vegeta. And I can't blame them both for having issues over money/looks and the opposite sex. We all do at one time or another.
It's refreshing to read of Bulma and Vegeta (two of the best looking/most passionate characters ever) having... confidence/trust issues. It adds a level of humanity that is lacking in some other fanfiction author's portrayal of them and all characters in general. You did it quite well. ^_^ (Just got done watching "Spy Game" and was amazed at how character driven it was)
*shakes head* The headmisstress is... well, you said it best. No tact what-so-ever... Slut!! (Here, I have no tact... ;)
A 23year old Vegeta at a dance club? Strobe lights, pulsating music beats, and a hot/sweaty/muscular/sexy Veg?!?! *drools* DAMN, sometimes I wish I were Bulma...
Although, I have a bad feeling about them going to the club together. *blinks* Not that they shouldn't, but I got an ominous-type feeling when I read that. *shrugs* Mainly, I don't want a classmate of Bulma's to see them and squeal to the tactless headmisstress. (I can't stand her already)
*blinks more* I guess I'm wondering what they're going to say to each other when it's time for school to start up. I mean, they're SO close, but they haven't said what they DO for a living or anything. *shrugs* I guess it could have slipped their minds, but eventually it will come up... or they'll just forget and the other shoe will drop when she walks into his class!
*takes a few deep breaths and lets them out slowly, repeatedly* Sorry, I didn't mean to get all preachy/moody there. I'm just.... moody, I guess.
*waves* Write more! ^_^ |
Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: July 30, 2003 23:40 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
*heh heh heh* Poor pizza boy...
*blinks* It's funny that my boyfriend's nickname is Vegeta because.... he likes chocolate milk and pizza with hotsauce. Come to think of it, he likes hotsauce on LOTS of things. *looks around all paranoid* Are you videotaping me and my boyfriend without our knowledge? You poor, poor bearer of a warped/fragile little mind... ^.~ (j/k)
No, I didn't find this chapter useless. While they are now growing VERY comfortable with each other, you convey both of their (dare I say it this way) fears about their growing feelings.
*lol* I hate writing those awkward first (second, third, etc) kisses too. It's damn near painful. -_- Then again, it's probably harder for me to write any couples in "comfort." Nice job. Good to see one of us can pull it off. :) |
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