| "Payback" Reviews/Comments [ 93 ] |
| Pages (7): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 › » ] |
Reviewed By: CPoland On: June 11, 2003 15:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very original are you continueing it? |
Reviewed By: Showstopper On: May 31, 2003 15:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've got to give you your props for writing one of the most original crossover lemons in fanfiction. The idea of Asuka being nice is cool and Berserker Shinji is a nice touch as well. I do wish you would've concentrated a bit more on Asuka's therapy though. Glad you put Mihohshi in there. Just a vote for the future, I wouldn't mind seeing Nabiki, Shampoo, and Ukyo get in there somehow.
Keep up the good work and have a good day. |
Reviewed By: Mystic God [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2003 07:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Damn you, it's been so long.... I need more. I'll have your children if you update soon...
BTW after chapter 4 part 2, I had a thought on who you might include. Maybe you could bring someone else from Eva in like Hikari or Rei.
Payback Hikari for being such a good friend all those years by letting Shinji give her a good rogering.
Or payback Rei for being a bitch to here by letting Shinji do the above stated :D |
Reviewed By: Paul C. Heintz On: May 18, 2003 19:00 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is about the best crossover lemon series I've ever read. If you need a break, that is perfectly understandable, but I urge you to consider continuing it sometime and not abandon it.
As for next likely candidate after the current situation, I might almost think Washu, since she has contributed to their antics already and does not seem to be against the idea. Also, to her, shinji would be a potential guinee pig.
On a bit of a different note, there does seem to be a bit of confusion (to me at least) as far as the timeline goes. I do realize this is of less importance to a Lemon fanfic of this type, but still curious. Based on statements of chapter 1, it would seem it is in and around 2023-2024. That is fine for the evangelion universe, and Washu/Mihoshi are not of earth, so they would age differently (Washu is after all by her own statement 20,000+ yrs old in the OVA's), so they fit as well and the Tenchi timeline as a result is of less importance, but how is Ranma timeline to be treated, and what is Kasumi's exact age. |
Reviewed By: Tiek Mo Shet [MediaMiner Member] On: May 04, 2003 11:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This chapter was a good read and I'm enjoying it greatly. If you don't write the second I'll, I'll...do nothing. Still, please finish this chapter before moving on, please. |
Reviewed By: Mystic God [MediaMiner Member] On: May 04, 2003 04:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
if you don't write the second part of chapter 4 ill have to hunt you down and destroy you :P
anyway.. this is great, probabl the best eva lemon i have read... good work |
Reviewed By: Carlos Negrao On: May 03, 2003 16:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is the best lemon I've ever read! Please don't
stop writing this anytime soon. And don't leave the
forth chapter like this, ok, I want the second part
of this. |
Reviewed By: priest On: May 02, 2003 01:00 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
the fic as a whole is realy good but this last chapter seems like it was cut short or something. I look forward to any up dates and future postings from you on this. it was fairly tastfuly done. Ja-ne =(^_^)= |
Reviewed By: Unknown Flamer On: April 20, 2003 03:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just finished reading chapter 3, and I am at a complete loss for words. I've found myself strangely moved by the tender moment between Shinji and Kasumi. Asuka's devil girl outfit was an original that I have not seen any any other lemon to date. This fic has some of the most emotionally moving, tender, loving, and hottest dialog that I have *EVER* read. I tend to judge fics really hard, so congradulations on getting a full 10.0 from me. There were no spelling or gramatical errors that I could see, creativity is excellent, and I have found it to be *VERY* enjoyable.
Interesting concept of having Asuka make up her bad behaivor to her husband in chapter 1, which results in first a threesome in chapter 2, and then a foursome in chapter 3. I was wondering about the throne room, but then at the end I see Washu watching them and the comment that this was *HER* creation, so I figured it was one of her pocket dimensions. Good work on understanding the TM! universe as well as Washu's character.
Now I wonder what other suprizes that you will have in store in the next chapter. |
Reviewed By: Tiek Mo Shet [MediaMiner Member] On: April 16, 2003 00:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
"Kasumi's effect on Mihoshi was far stronger. The blonde airhead, who was into women the way China was into rice" Greatest line in a Lemon ever.
Excellent chapter, very creative. Not the first choice I would have expected from the Ranma household but I'm not complaining. Can't wait to see how you end this chapter.
Never worry about how long your story gets, this is one I don't mind reading. |
Reviewed By: Rough Justice On: April 12, 2003 11:25 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
NICE!!!!!!!!!! man I can't believe someone came up with the idea of asuka being nice enough to start a threesome for own damn husband. |
Reviewed By: Stardog On: April 15, 2003 12:09 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
dont fret if something gets to big, it just means its just that much better. |
Reviewed By: shadow On: April 03, 2003 17:07 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Asuka being nice?
at first i cant believed it
but
man "it's so fucking great"
your fic is awesome
you have talent
and the costume thing?
brilliant, marvelous, etc
you understand
keep going |
Reviewed By: Tiek Mo Shet [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2003 00:32 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well this is interesting. I would have to say that this is the first time that I've seen a fic where Asuka actively tries to make up for the way she treats that spineless bastard. Interesting idea.
Well there were a few things I didn't care for, the setup notes in the first chapter weren't a highpoint in writing and frankly I would have liked to have seen a little more about Asuka's therapy. (Yes I do like more story with my lemons then most people.) Also I'm not that wild about the whole Berserker Shinji thing, I don't really think it was nessecary.
Before you think I didn't like this fic let me say that I loved it. Frankly I think that it's deffinately a cut above most other lemons in terms of writing style. The spelling and grammar were relatively free of problems.
Random Thoughts:
1)Asuka in a PVC devil outfit, ouch.
2)Asuka + Mihoshi, two of my top five anime hotties going at it.
3)Any chance of getting Shampoo into this?
4)How long till the next chapter, this is kicking significant ass. |
Reviewed By: narse On: May 11, 2003 08:44 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great fanfic - especially chapter 4!
I don't know many Animes/Mangas so are Yuri, Yuki and Jun your own characters? Cause I would really like to see some pictures of them.
Please FINISH chapter 4 and write the second part ok? It would be a sin to skip something like this...
Anyway I am curios about the next 'special guests': I have also the oppinion that Shampoo would be a great match but this is your choise of course.
The most important thing is that you continue this fanfic!!! |
| Pages (7): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 › » ] |
