| "The Claim" Reviews/Comments [ 97 ] |
| Pages (7): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 > » ] |
Reviewed By: sapphire On: September 18, 2003 20:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
that was so sad - more soon please |
Title: the claim
Reviewed By: staringshayne On: September 16, 2003 07:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh man,you can't let Duo lose the baby.please say it will not happen! That would be to much heart break.Heero was right it would destroy Duo completey.The baby is loved and he has tried so hard to care for it,and it means so much to this story.you have me wanting more and hope things turn out okay.The feelings i have for this are a bit intense,you are a very good if not a great writer.Keep up the great work. |
Title: WOW
Reviewed By: Tpassinthrough On: September 15, 2003 12:07 CDT
Comment/Review:
i just love this story please keep writing.the characters just come alive.i can hardly wiat to see whats going to happen next. |
Reviewed By: blakc beauty On: September 15, 2003 11:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this fic. Keep up the good job. |
Reviewed By: Danes With Fyre [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 23:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really cannot wait to see more. Duo's life is on the line, and he already lost his child. *cries* (This is my third time reading this, yes, this story is that good.) What's going to happen now?! I truly hope everything will be okay, and that Heero will help Duo out. Hai, this is very good!! |
Reviewed By: GoldenRat [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 21:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Duo's going to be heartbroken at the loss of his child, but I think that the story will be a much more enjoyable read. |
Reviewed By: battousai [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 20:46 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Poor Duo-chan!! this is the first time i've seen heero with an animal named shinigami ususally it's wing or zero (nice)
keep it up!!!! |
Reviewed By: Mashiro_Karasu [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 18:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
great chapter! i really love shinigami...didnt think of Heero as the type to have a dog *grins*. so when can we expect another chapter? I gotta have more to read! |
Reviewed By: leemax [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 12:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh just wanted to add something for the bleeding. Remember men normally don't have children any way. So if you are worried about the bleeding lets say that he is carring twins. Maybe he is almost at deaths door but Trowa comes and gives him med's to stop the bleeding and has Heero give Duo some of his blood. Remember this is a story that can turn out any way that you want it. I think that making it harder for Duo and Heero is what makes a story good. You don't want to have it go all boring right in the beginning. I think that you would have so much better a plot. Like the child is going to be the new Enforcer and Fie is worried. This is so much more than just getting Heero and Duo together with a child of thier own right off the back. You can make the ending that Duo has Heero's child. But what ever you choose you need to make the fans realize that Duo and Heero are going to stay together. Have Heero tell Duo that he feels he is falling in love with Duo and he will be their for thier child acepting Duo's child as his own, make Heero the good guy and Fie the bad guy. Characters where established, plot is rising but you need a motive a twist in the cards, what better than what I said on my first rewiew. Just think about what I say, sometimes the best to give the fans is not a quick fix but a good fic. |
Reviewed By: leemax [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 12:06 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was thinking that you should go and save Duo's child. Instead of killing his child, kill Melina and her child during child birth. This will give a better plot. You can have Duo and Heero fall in love, and Heero starts to raise the child as his own. You can have Duo go into town when the child is born and older (able to talk) to get clothing and other things that they will need and Fie see's his child. (Black hair but violet eyes with Fie's total face features) The child should be about four years at the time. When Fie see them he is about to go and talk to Duo and his son since after his wife's death he realizes that he loves Duo and wants him back. But his son calls out daddy(in Jap.) to the Enforcer. When Heero see's Fie he relizes whom he is instantly since the child looks just like him. Then we get the whole, Fie trying to get Duo and his child into his life. |
Title: kiriko-sama
Reviewed By: kiriko-sama [MediaMiner Member] On: September 13, 2003 00:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sad to say, but to much blood. Looks like he is going to lose the baby and thats what I'm voting for. |
Reviewed By: AG On: September 12, 2003 10:06 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
It was already said, that if Duo bled as much as he did, the baby would have no chance to survive.
If you want to let it live the whole chapter would haveto be rewritten. That's my opinion.
Anway, fascinating story! More, more!!! |
Reviewed By: Rurouni Lilouani On: September 11, 2003 13:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
**Squeals with delight** What an awesome fic!!!!! ^-^ Please update soon!!!! Oh yeah! About da baby, I kinda wouldn't like for it to survive, cuz I'd luv Duo's first child to be Heero's. Either way though, i know this fic will be great! Keep writing!! ^.~ |
Reviewed By: yuki_buffy On: September 10, 2003 11:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
very original. I like this alot. grr@ the suspense though. i think the baby should live. Duo fought so hard to protect it, it would be devastating to loose it. |
Title: chapter 3
Reviewed By: Enna Namo [MediaMiner Member] On: September 10, 2003 11:45 CDT
Comment/Review:
I already voted on fanfiction.net to let Duo's baby live. Well, I do it again. After all that Duo had to go through because of that little baby he should keep it. He protected it against his father and wants it to live. And even though he knows that Wufei won't help him, the baby is inocent. And without the baby what reason does Duo have to want to live? At the moment this baby is all that keeps him alive.
And not only the baby wouldn't survive with Duo bleeding that bad. He would certainly bleed to death as well.
Don't kill the baby, please, please, please. |
| Pages (7): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 > » ] |
