| "Strength of Bond" Reviews/Comments [ 280 ] |
| Pages (19): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 › » ] |
Reviewed By: yuyu-inuyashaluva [MediaMiner Member] On: March 01, 2005 18:49 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
please. Update. your story is so good. i love the originality of it all and i would like to read some more.
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Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: January 17, 2005 21:07 EST
Comment/Review:
Thank you for the new chapter! It's wonderful. I can't get enough of this story. I hope you update again soon. Thanks!
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Title: Part 3 (Oops)
Reviewed By: Ayapon [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2005 07:11 EST
Comment/Review:
Perhaps having a scene that allowed the two to interact with each other further to foster a sense of connection would help to get to the point where they are comfortable enough to use the -chan ending. Another question: When Kagome first beheld the building they would be living in, why did she raise how low cost it looked? It made me feel like she was a snob. Is that an intention of yours in her characterization? If so, it seems to be at odds with what you've done with her up to that point and afterwards. I look forward to reading more from this story.
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Title: Part 2 of 2
Reviewed By: Ayapon [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2005 07:09 EST
Comment/Review:
Also, when Sango immediately switched from addressing Kagome as "Mrs. Taisho" to "Kagome-chan", I had to pause. In the anime series at their first meeting (ep. 25), Kagome called Sango "Sango-san" while Sango did not address Kagome by name until ep. 27 ("Kagome-chan"). Kagome did start calling Sango "Sango-chan" starting in ep. 26, but that was after meeting and being around each other for a few days. In Japanese society, -chan is a very familiar/affectionate way to address someone. Upon introduction to someone for the first time, with no prior ties/knowledge of each other, and are roughly of the same age and societal "level", the polite rule is to address the other person by the -san ending. Only children tend to immediately address others of the same age with the ending -chan for the most part. Those older also call children (mostly female children) with the ending -chan. For male children older than 3-4 years (this age can vary a bit depending on the addresser), they are normally called with the ending -kun. Those of elderly age (or at least with a large age gap between the two) have the ability to address those younger than them with the ending -chan if they so feel like it (the benefits of age haha). It may be a benefit to have Sango use "Kagome-san" at their first meeting when Kagome asked her to no longer call her by "Mrs. Taisho". Sango just doesn't seem the type to easily and quickly cross personal boundaries within the first meeting of someone. Perhaps having a scen |
Title: Part 1 of 2
Reviewed By: Yfandes [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2005 07:07 EST
Comment/Review:
It is fun to read your fanfic due to its interesting plot line and realistically intense scenes between Inuyasha and Kagome. However, I find it negatively distracting when I come across the odd Japanese word such as "hai", "daijoubu", and "oniichan" when it seems the English equivalent would work just as well, if not better. There seems to be no reason to use them as they are a little awkward and disrupts the flow of words you've already laid down. Sometimes they are used with reason (e.g. MSS) that I can understand. This also ties into my hesitation to believe Inuyasha would call Sesshoumaru by the affectionate "oniichan" in Ch. 15 since he is cursing Sesshoumaru (temee oniichan), is a teenage boy, and is in front of people he still does not really know (Miroku and Sango). "Aniki" might be a better choice, especially with the characterizations you have done so far for the two brothers.
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Reviewed By: essie2 On: January 15, 2005 15:46 EST
Comment/Review:
this is great please update
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Reviewed By: Caprix [MediaMiner Member] On: January 15, 2005 03:13 EST
Comment/Review:
I've really enjoyed this fanfic so far and I'm looking forward to more of the plot being revealed, now that some familiar faces have appeared. I like how you've created a parallel society and I'm curious to see where you go with this! I just wanted to point out that many of the Japanese phrases you've used in the latest few chapters have English equivalents. The last two chapters read a little choppy, so I'd recommend losing some of the Japanese (though I'd keep "osuwari" since it's not just a simple "sit"). I like the name translations though! I'm waiting to see if they have some hidden insights into the characters! *wink*
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Reviewed By: happylama2202 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 13, 2005 12:20 EST
Comment/Review:
Good chapter, as always. I really like your story and have been following it for a long time. I feel that I have to say something about the amount of Japanese in this one, though. I know the absolute basics of fangirl Japanese, which is still more than those new to the fandom know, that this chapter was almost ruined by such numerous chunks of dialog being incomprehensible to me. I really like Japanese, I think it has a sound and a feeling quite different than English and that anime often looses something in the translation. However, I would have to recommend scaling it back in this chapter because it's so very distracting. Again, it's a great story and thank you for writing it!
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Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: January 12, 2005 19:16 EST
Comment/Review:
Thank you for updating. I really like your story. I'm glad you are sharing it with us. :)
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Reviewed By: MiakaRyo [MediaMiner Member] On: January 06, 2005 10:36 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey! I just wanteed to say that you have one of the most well written stories that I have every read. I loved chapter 13 and I love how your plot is going. Please update soon. I cvan't wait for the next chapter!!
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Title: Ahh....
Reviewed By: BabayBunny [MediaMiner Member] On: December 24, 2004 02:12 EST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ahhh…*smiles* Such a good fan fic the best in the universe, multiverse, Googleverse!!! Well at least for now…*looks at author* I wonder how long you can keep the title. So you can truly appreciate my love for you wonderfully wonderful fic, we must go back, back to last year when I went to an average of two class a day and copied out good fanfics by the stack and at random cause I could, for free, and I could read it when I did go to class. Needless to say I found this fic and I loved it, but as the stacks got so high (I got fics I have never read yet) it was lost. Then today when I was in the middle of looking for my print out of tengu information, which was mixed with the fics I found this beloved fic. All those wonderful English classes where I read your story came back, and I had to know if you had updated! And lo' you have!!! *does happy dance* you have no idea my joy when so many a good story have been abandoned by so many a good author. *wipes away tear* Imagine inu and kag in a fall out for all eternity, because some lazy mean sadistic author wont update. *shakes head* how can they deny them happiness together. So with this said *falls to knees and grabs pant leg* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE! I want to know what happens at the end and what happens next!!!! I feel like a crack addict without the crack! IT'S BAD!!!
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Reviewed By: inu fan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 04, 2004 01:08 EST
Comment/Review:
This story is awesome!!!! Please update soon! And now I wonder, what type of dog is Inuyasha?
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Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: December 03, 2004 02:55 EST
Comment/Review:
I really like this story! You write very well and I'm glad to see more of Kagome's and Inuyasha's relationship develop in this last chapter. Thanks for sharing this story with us and I hope you update again soon. Thanks!
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Reviewed By: angelbabe17(nsi) On: December 02, 2004 21:47 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
=D
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Title: MiakaRyo
Reviewed By: MiakaRyo [MediaMiner Member] On: November 15, 2004 23:06 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Let me just say this now you have one of the best stories out here now! I love your long description because I am learning as well! I am reviewing for all chapters as of now and I must say my fav is CH 10. Please update soon and again wonderful job!!!
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| Pages (19): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 › » ] |
