| "Go No Konoha" Reviews/Comments [ 57 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Title: Great,, but not as good as it could be...
Reviewed By: Stizzo [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2004 17:00 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay okay... You've got a cool story going here. However, there are a few minor things that kind of bug me. First of all, the Five don't really act like they do normally. I understand that they are supposed to be different when they are alone, but they really don't seem to have any sort of sembelance to their canon characters. Like Naruto seems too subdued, even when he is putting up his "facade". It makes me wonder why people think he's a screw-up at all, really, because he pulls off some pretty nifty trick during class and in the face of some ANBU members. To fix this, you could make Naruto more of a hybrid of his old self. Like keep him hyper and enthusiastic, but he lets his intelligence and strength show. And you could make Shikamaru be the brains of the group, seeing as he has a 200+ IQ. Stuff like that. The group you are presenting to me is just too different from their normal character to be able to really identify with them. It's like you chose a completely new group of characters and stuck the names to them. Also, the Byakugan is the Hyuuga family blood limit. Only a Hyuuga would be able to learn it, because it's not really "learned". It's passed through the genes. I'm puzzled as to how 5 academy students could master such a technique, especially with no Hyuuga to show them. Okay, I know I spent all this time telling you what is wrong with this fic, but I actually do like it (see ratings). You can IM me or e-mail me if you need help with anything.
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Reviewed By: Dragon 89 On: June 22, 2004 10:38 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was a great chapter. Are you going to keep posting on ff.net? Plz update soon.
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Reviewed By: Phsycobratt [MediaMiner Member] On: June 21, 2004 00:58 EDT
Comment/Review:
This is cool. The jutsu gang, lol, that's funny. Anyway, plz update soon.
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Reviewed By: Gopu On: June 17, 2004 04:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
Great rewrite.
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Reviewed By: kurai_kodoku On: June 10, 2004 20:59 EDT
Comment/Review:
Congrats at finishing the first chapter of the rewrite. All I have to say first is @_@ wow. A lot in one chapter. It seems like your using a lot of the original Japanese names for attacks and stuff. So are you gonna use "dobe" instead of dead last? Don't know what else to say...brain overload, besides a few confusing parts, I like. Can't wait to see the rewrites of the rest of the chapters.
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Reviewed By: Dragon's Shadow On: June 10, 2004 08:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
Great chapter plz update soon. Are there any pairings if so I hope for Naru/Saku,Ino/Shika, and maybe a Kiba/Hint or Shino/Hint. Plz update soon.
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Reviewed By: darkestrose [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2004 17:56 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love it! ^__^ please update soon!
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Reviewed By: annyo On: May 04, 2004 20:17 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Look not bad but just so you know the only genins tht have the bykugan are Neji and Hinata, not Kiba or Shino or to be in general all the Hyuuga
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Reviewed By: shado89 On: May 03, 2004 08:36 EDT
Comment/Review:
Love your fic plz update soon. As for the pairings I think you should keep them all the same except do an Ino/Shika pairing.
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Title: nice fic
Reviewed By: InuSan [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2004 00:57 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
weell good job! I'd like to offer spelling corrections! itz Byakugen! you were close.. sooo yea.. and i dunno why Fat kid who eats too much is complaining.. this is a fic for crying outloud.. ...baka..
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Reviewed By: kurai_kodoku On: April 19, 2004 19:16 EDT
Comment/Review:
^_^ First thing, you spelt my name wrong. It's Kurai_Kodoku. About the email...I tend to shy away from giving my email out anymore (looks at the 70+ spam mail) not to mention I tend to forget to check my email for days. Well...email KuraiNoYami@netscape.net first and I'll send my favorite spam free new email address to you. My AIM is KuraiNoYami also, though I tend not to be on often. I agree, Ten/Neji is better. The girl next to Hinata's father was Hinaba, Hinata's younger sister. I don't mind any pairing, just don't like Sakura, so any pairing with her is bad except for Lee/Sakura. And I agree there are a lot of SasuNaru. I dislike Sasuke also, but the pairing is kind of cute in the beginning but now it's too much. Anyway onto the story...sw33t Naruto cracking the rooftiles just by running. Though I thought ninjas worked for stealth, its interesting to see that Naruto is that strong. Kyubi-chan?..Interesting way to address the Kyubi. I thought Shino only had one female bug, they're supposed to be very rare. Hmm...nothing else I can find at the moment, but I think my review is long enough for now.
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Reviewed By: vixen_uchiha-demon On: April 16, 2004 23:33 EDT
Comment/Review:
tenten
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Reviewed By: kurai_kodoku On: April 14, 2004 22:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
The dance of death... That cracked me up. Do ninjas know how to tap dance? Spelling mistake during Zabusa's fight: "The man fell to the ground chocking." It should be choking. Hmm, the part about the bored expression and how it masked his anger, you can say something about the eyes indicating the anger. About the couples...I'm not that happy with SakuNaru pairings, but if other people like it, I'm fine with it. After all pairings make up only part of the story. And it seems like the pairings you are suggesting are different. Great to see someone trying new pairings. About the Shino pairing, the only other girl I know in the Naruto cast that is free is TenTen but then she is usually paired with Lee and Neji.
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Reviewed By: Liukang On: April 09, 2004 02:55 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thank you for updating. It took u so long to do it. Anyway update asap. I like your current couples. I think u should just stick with that.
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Reviewed By: sunameee On: April 04, 2004 01:13 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Awesome fic. Please update as often as possible
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