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| "Time Soul Exodus" Reviews/Comments [ 58 ] | | Pages (4): [ 1 2 3 4 › » ] | Reviewed By: Inus_Kagome_Forever [MediaMiner Member] On: January 04, 2007 14:02 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Wow! So many complex things in your story. And just WOW, these battles! lol i think your on chap 23 now? o.O I didn't realize how long this story was gonna be. WOW. great job! one last thing, is this story mainly gonna be about Arc's adventure? (i mean, i'm all for romance! ...can't help but be a girl ^ _^ Inus_Kagome_Forever
| Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: December 31, 2006 16:11 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey! You updated! yayy! Oh and forgive me if this review isn't up to par. I took a nap after I Emailed you and when I woke up, I felt like someone took a sledge hammer to my entire body. Anyways, I'm impressed with this chapter. Very good. The begining with Kagome and Keiko was so cute. A little corny, but it was a nice break up from the intensity of the previous chapters. "Give me five my girl" Ahhh....that's cute. The part with Arcerdo and Sumira had me on the edge of my seat...or should I say bed, since I'm reading this on my bed...teehee. I was going to be royally pissed if you killed her. You and I wouldn't be talking for a while....teehee. Just kidding. ^_^ That one segment where Sumira realized that she was going to die. WOW...it was so dramatic and intense. I think I forgot to breathe for a second. And then the part where we're inside Arcerdo's mind...I can't even describe how I was rooting for him. I'm glad he pulled through. Though I knew he would. I feel like it was the right time too, another chapter would have been overkill. Good sense of timing, Zelix. BUT you're such a jerk for making him have to fight again....you're so mean...can't he get a break, just once, pwease? Ahaha...sorry about that. Anyways, keep up the good work. Oh yeah, a piece of constructive critisism: I noticed you tend to...use the same word over again. It's really just a quirk about me, but sometimes it can get to be redundant. Other than that! Maad props to you! Catcha on the next update. ~VelvetNight
| Reviewed By: Inus_Kagome_Forever [MediaMiner Member] On: November 06, 2006 18:11 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was so happy when I found out that I you had updated twice! I'll have to check my settings but great battle scene! Don't know how you come up with these things. I don't think I'd have the patience, but maybe it just comes easy to you? I hope you get the five reviews so that we don't get a cliffie! Inus_Kagome_Forever
| Title: ps
Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: November 04, 2006 16:24 CST
Comment/Review:
just wondering...would you be willing to put in a lemon?? Teehee...just wishful thinking I guess. ^_^
| Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: November 04, 2006 16:22 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey! Long time no read! I'm glad to see you writing again. And such a good chapter, too. It was slightly shorter than your normal ones, but nonetheless, superb! I personally didn't mind the cliffie this time. Even though I would love to know the outcome, I think that was the perfect place to end...for now. Now...onto the more important stuff...I was glad to see you switch to the present for a while. To bring in that mysterious characters. My theories about him are starting to solidify, but leave it to you to completely shatter them and tell me how wrong I was...teehee. But it's good that you brought him back because I kinda forgot about him...*sheepish grin* I can't help but to notice the strong parallels between that and Sueric's Chronicles. Eventhough they're very different from each other, that concept of having someone in the present who knows about the past and is trying to rectify it...it's so..I can't even think of the words. Now the battle...whoo whee! (it's fairly easy to tell you're a guy now based on how you write the battle scenes. I don't think a female can write a scene like that...teehee...or maybe I just can't...ahaha. But the one thing I absolutely have too comment on, and is by far my favorite thing about you as a writer is your diction. Your word choice, is like, nothing I've read. Your details and descriptions flow like buttermilk, jumping off the page and going directly to my mind. I get such good vivid images when reading your work. Not too many people can accomplish this, and I've only read a pinch of fics that do what you do. It's amazing and it's most definitely what I love most about you as an author and your style. "It was almost as if this Youkai, was beyond the concepts and laws of this world, of the laws of light and darkness and instead, was a an independent creature of its own, bound neither by light nor darkness…" Man....poetry, pure lyrical poetry...I'm so effin jealous! ^_^ Another thing I really liked about this chapter, in particular, was how you tied in the child-like mentality to Arcerdo, even though he was doing something so sadistic. Almost like he's two different people: the sadist who revels in the suffering of others (the insect) and the child who is just...naturally curious and mischievous...it's great how you tied those two entities together. Speaking of tying together.....sooooo many loose ends....I'm twitching in anticipation...I have to know the connections between events and characters...I'm going crazy here, Zelix (pout)! Anyways, I'm looking forward to your next update. Knowing you, I'll probably have more questions that answer,right? Teehee. Oh, and you're not a prick...you sent personal emails thanking your reviewers...that, to me is more than enough. Anyways...get crackin' on your next update! Catcha later, VelvetNight
| Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: August 04, 2006 10:47 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey there! Good chapter. I'm really anxious to find out what will happen next. I loved how you once again delved into the other characters minds as they analyzed Arcerdo's actions. I wonder if he truly will step onto the Path of Asura. One thing plagued my mind...so if you take one step, you'll be lost forever? No matter how strong one is? Hmmm...well, I hope you get to feeling better, I don't expect you to update for a while, since well, your mind isn't in it. If anyone pesters you to update...tell them to 'fuck off' You don't have to respond to this review..since, well, you're probably still angry at me, but I, at the very least, had to review your new chapter. ~VelvetNight
| Title: Asura?!
Reviewed By: Inus_Kagome_Forever [MediaMiner Member] On: May 12, 2006 16:46 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
10 10 10 10 10 and more if I could put them up there! This is great! I'm LOVING the battle scenes! And you said this was your first time writing a fic with battle scenes? Well anyways, its just awsome! I really really really just love it! Please continue with the actions ::puts hands together and prays:: more! They're soooo excited! But then again... he does need to find Kagura... hmmm to fight, or not to fight... to save Kagura, or not to save Kagura... well that isn't the question! okay, update soon please! And don't listen to my rambling, you know how I am by now I'm sure. UPDATE Inus_Kagome_Forever
| Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: May 11, 2006 15:16 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
WhooHoo!! You updated!! Oh yeah...*happy dance*. Okay, now that, that is out of my system...onto the review... *clears throat* First off...is it just me, or does this chapter seem a lot...shorter than your other chapters? If not, well I guess I'm just going crazy, but you already know that, don't you? ^_~ Anyways...this chapter raised a lot of questions. There's sooo much I want to know about. Who is this character that Heitaro fought a year ago and couldn't defeat? Why is Arcerdo's 'soul pulse' identical to this character? What is this feeling of hate that is twisting his Youki....AND....why does he like it?? Hmmmm....arrrrrgggh...need answers. ahahah. Sorry...had a moment of temporary insanity. I wonder...if/when Heitaro and Arcerdo fight...will this....other person (who is nameless at the moment...*pout*) remember Heitaro?? THat should make for some interesting plot. Once again, I LOVE how you describe the battle. Only this time, it doesn't seem as gruesome as the last. You really focused on Arcerdo's precision and collectiveness (if that's a word...it is now), which brings up another question, is Arcerdo aware of what is going on? Like is he fully or partially conscious about what's happening to him, or is he like...i guess asleep to what's going on? On the one hand, it would sound almost like he's hyptonized or possesed, but the last couple of paragraphs would also suggest that he's at least partially aware of what's kind of going on (does that make sense, or am I just completely crazy? probably both...ahaha). Anyways, seems like the Moon priests have a lot on their hands. Jei seems like he's made up his mind...Arcerdo must be defeated. Flint...i guess pretty much feels the same way only he gives off this..."ominar I'm scared shitless" vibe to me. Poor Arbel, he must really feel torn. THe Arcerdo that he knows...the one who saved him without a second thought would never do this. But then again, is this really Arcerdo here? I think that's the true question. Chizu, Renko and Sumira must really also be feeling torn. That can't possibly be the same Arc, the very same boy who healed Renko completely. hmmmm. Apparently, it seems like Sumira has a choice to make. She obviously knows about what's happening to Arc...maybe he doesn't know...or maybe he does and chooses not to pay attention to it. Either way..I hope Sumira finds a way to help him, or Arcerdo helps himself; I would hate to seem him fall prey to the Path of Asura (which by the way I love....you do so much research...maaaddd props to you ^_^). Dude...you sooo gotta update...and NO EVIL CLIFFIES (maybe if i just review five times...will it work??? I'm dying here...I have to know....aaarrrgh....okay another temporary loss of sanity)!!!! Aight...glad to see you're writing and I EAGERLY await your next update! Smooches, Rin.
| Reviewed By: animaygurl [MediaMiner Member] On: March 04, 2006 17:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG!!!! I am LOVING this story!!! Please update!!! If you do, more ppl will read it!! :D it's really really good.
| Title: Good Chap
Reviewed By: Inus_Kagome_Forever [MediaMiner Member] On: January 27, 2006 18:12 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well... of course he wasn't going to die, but... well... what strength. Sounds to me he's even strong than Inuyasha. Is he? I don't think that was too bad a of a cliffy. It was a nice place to stop, but so here's your review! Hoping for no "evil" clifies ::croses fingers:: Laterz Inus_Kagome_Forever
| Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: January 27, 2006 09:43 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
WOW!!! I literally have chills!! And before I go any further, you'll have to forgive me if my thoughts seem kind of scrambled...I'm a bit of a scatter-brain (but then again you probably know that). First thing's first: I have some serious goosebumps...I have to agree with you, that chapter was most definitely one of your best and most intense chapters yet! I really, really loved how you got into EVERYONE'S head when they thought Arcerdo was dead...and then you did it again when Arcerdo...raised up again (for lack of a better phrase). You really have a knack for characterization, even characters who play a minor role (like Hanataro) you give them so much depth and meaning just by showin us what's inside their heads and what they're thinking. Mad props to you for that! I also love/hate how you cut off one of the character's thoughts (well not so much cut it off as you let the thought linger). It creates for some wonderful suspense, but at the same time, heavy frustration. Teehee. Flint and Arbel's reactions really didn't surprise me...especially Arbel's. I figured if Arbel were to find out about Arcerdo being a Youkai, he would literally be torn apart; the simple fact that he ows Arcerdo his life now really played into his emotions and thoughts. Now there was a few things that confused me...but if I know you, they'll be explained later on (I'm just too impatient for my own good): but I was confused to the fact mainly how Heitaro felt this "soul pulse" a year ago...hmmm....and also I wondered this for a while now (I just usally forget to ask): but why are Arcerdo's "Youkai Marks" (for lack of a better phrase...again) over his eyes? InuYasha, Sesshoumaru, and even their father's Youkai marks are on their cheeks. I just figured since Arcerdo is from the same line, his Youkai marks would be the same. And I also share Heitaro's confusion about the holy powers. I don't see how it's possible for him to be a full Youkai like this and his holy powers not rise up against it...hmmm. But now on to the good stuff. I would have to say the best part of that entire chapter was when Arcerdo...analyzed himself as a full Youkai. Those first couple of paragraphs right after you gave us the suggestion for background music (which intensified my chills ten fold by the way), were spectacular! You, my friend, have mastered the art of balancing details of the story with the flow of the story. A trick not too many authors have a grasp on, they will admit. And you just...do it! Mad crazy weird! And I loooooved the bold sentences between paragraphs. It created an...unearthly feel to it...like an omnicient outsider's opinion...gave the chapter an authentic flair. But your forte (in this chapter) has to be your details. Good lord! Phrases like: "His muscles had become like steel, his blood had turned into fire of battle..." and "this state of cold calmness even though his blood was burning…" really give great sensory imagery. It's almost as if I can feel what Arcerdo is feeling....amazing! The pace of this chapter...in one word...perfect. Not too fast, and not too slow. It was just right. And the Chapter title for the next chapter....man...you do so much research for this fic...I'm truly humbled. Alot of fics I've read, people just kind of BS their way around facts and such, but you (and a scant few other authors) really put dedication and hard work into your fics (that's one of the main reasons why I don't mind waiting for your chapters...you never disappoint). I sooo can't wait for your next update!!
| Title: EVILLLLLLLLL!!!!
Reviewed By: DF On: January 01, 2006 22:36 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
EEEEVILLLL CLIFFIE!!!!!!11111ELEVEN! Must...Read...More... Tis Awesome, by the way...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! !!1111111ELEVENHUNDREDELEVENTWO!
| Reviewed By: sov On: January 01, 2006 04:00 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this rules! I have "Welcome the miserable life of Arcerdo, in less than 10 minutes, his life went from bad to infernally shitty… new record…" as a quote on my msn, -Claire clairemaslen1988@hotmail.com
| Title: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: Inus_Kagome_Forever [MediaMiner Member] On: December 16, 2005 14:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OH GOD! You really know how to keep someone on edge, damn it! Uhhhg! In that last chapter (yes, I just now read it) I was all .... uh... I barely know how to explain it! My heart was beat all fast, my adrenilain or however you spell it pumping! God! I don't know how you can write like that but it was great! The fighting seems were really awsome! Keep it up! I hope you update soon! I know that note was also for me but hey! I hadn't even gotten a chance to read it yet... sorry... I am sorry bout that. But still! That was just evil... thought of course he can't die, cuz you said yourself it's going to be 70-100 chapters so yeah... but... how long exactly with this other "him" take over? It's going to save him right? But... what is it going to take in return? Plzz! I hope for nothing bad! Much Love!!~~~~Laterz Inus_Kagome_Forever
| Reviewed By: VelvetNight [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 20:55 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Woah...you updated!!! You just love surprising me like that don't you?? Loves it!! This chapter, however, while good, it wasn't your best. It seemed a bit rushed....but none the less...it was still sooo good! I especially loved how you brought the other characters out. I think that was perfect timing....I was begining to miss them. Heitaro has really caught my attention, as well as Arbel...hmmm....what wil happen next. Though I think there might have been a bit of a selfish motive behind Heitaro's cheering for our heros...and Arbel...something tells me that he just might be accepting of Arcerdo, even if he finds out he's part youkai...hmmm....the plot thickens!! I only wish the chapter was longer...and that cliffhanger....you're soooo mean...no smooches for you....just kidding! Next chapter better not have a cliffie...or I'll just have to....punish you! ahahah...well...catcha later and I eagerly await your next update. Smooches (yeah, i decided to give you one ^_^) ~VelvetNight
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