Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Patience ❯ But I'm not Asuka, I'm Ken... ( Chapter 2 )

By: Anna Hibiki

Rating: R, it will eventually go up.

Disclaimers : Weiss is not mine! Koyasu-sama and other people with much more money than me owns it.

Warnings : Shounen-ai/Yaoi, OCC for Youji, angst, illness, disturbing content, some scenes are not very nice to read since the illness and the state of the sick character is gonna be described.

Pairings: Youji/Ken, Aya/Ken (one-sided), Omi/Nagi. There'll be some changes and new pairings.

Notes : Anything written in Italic are thoughts. Things /written this way/ are mental talk.

This fic can be read in my page, mediaminer.org and ff.net.

Before I thank the reviewers I want to thank those who pointed to me that the right part of the brain controls the left and viceversa. If I had known I would have put it that way before. But since I've been told for about seven years that it occurred in the other way, I always though that *glomps reviewers*.

Ne, and now I wanna thank ya all wonderful people!! Arigato minna-san! It makes me really happy to see that so much people likes the fic so far, I didn't expect it. So, glomps for: Lucifermorning (*glomps* arigato! It makes me happy to see that. I was afraid that it was going to look too bad when usually things are sugarcoated everywhere. And hai, my first language is Spanish), Taline (*glomps* arigato for pointing it! Ken will be really sad...), Hikari (*glomps* arigato to ya for reading! RanRan's not being very nice... but I want him to change. What I don't know is he'll change for better or for worse...), Lady Iron (*glomps* arigato for reviewing! and yeah, there's not enough YoKens out there!!), MistyEyes (*glomps* arigato! tsu zu ku is "to be continued" in Japanese ^^), Mother of Cain (*glomps* arigato for reading! ^^), Sasha (*glomps* thanks to you too for pointing the brain thing!! And you're right, It's horrible, and that's one of the reasons I hesitated on writing this. Luckily science is getting better at it, but I talk from the experience that is not very advanced yet and a lot of people ends dying. But since Yotan survived, we still have to have some hopes, ne?).

Chapter 2. But I'm not Asuka, I'm Ken... (revised chapter)

When they stopped before the closed door, the doctor turned towards them to give the last advertence. "Don't make noise when you enter in the room. Kudou-san is not the only patient there and you would bother other people, not to say that it would also be bad for your friend". He looked at them intently trying to find if they were ready.

It was obvious that the redheads were ready to see their teammate, but he doubted the younger ones were, specially the brunette, who looked as if he was about to collapse in any moment.

So the doctor opened the door slowly and entered into the room, making a gesture with his hand to the others to go inside.

The first thing they saw was a closed door at their left, it should be the bathroom, and at their right was a turned off television.

Again looking to the left side they saw that the room was divided in two with white curtains that separated the two patients.

The first curtain wasn't completely extended and showed two legs covered with the bedsheets.

There were two old women sitting on chairs at the corner of the room, talking about the patient they were with.

The one in the bed after in the first curtain was Youji.

The doctor opened it completely, the others hadn't moved yet.

The first one to react was Ken, who screamed his lover's name, what earned him a glare from the old women.

But surprisingly, he didn't move from where he was. His legs were shaking as he looked at the sleeping blonde.

"Ken-kun?" Omi said hesitantly, not knowing how react himself and fighting the tears.

It wasn't a pretty view. Youji was laying on his back, with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. Small tubes were placed into his nose to help him breath, since a mask wasn't needed.

His face was awfully pale and there was a kind of pained expression on his face that made him look dead. And the curled mouth and too rigid right side of his face didn't make it look better.

There was also a needle in his left arm.

His chest rose and fell slowly as he slept calmly, not knowing anything about the horror the others were seeing.

"Ken-kun..." Omi whispered to the former soccer player, tugging at his sleeve to catch his attention. "Are you okay?"

"... dead..." it was the only thing that Omi could caught of what the other said.

"Nani?"

Ken looked at him, his eyes were lost and scared and filled with tears that were starting to fall down his cheeks. "Is he dead?" he asked trying to control himself as his entire body was trembling with fear, but his legs gave away and he felt to his knees, burying his face on his hands.

And continued like that until a strong hand grabbed his shoulder and other one put his hands away from his face.

Aya helped him up and moved the brunette towards the blonde's bed, helping him sit in the rather uncomfortable leather couch next to it.

Ken bit his lip when he saw Youji better. He looked worse if you gave him a closer look.

"Yo-" he tried to muffle a sob as he reached with his thumb to clean a bit of saliva from the corner of Youji's lips. As he brushed his hand against his face, he noticed that the right side was stiff, in contrast with how relaxed and soft the left side was. "Why... what happened to you love? Why now? You..."

He broke down. It was too much for him to bear.

He buried his face on Youji's chest and continued crying, holding onto his beloved's body as if fearing to lose him if he let go.

Manx wasn't looking at them, she had other things to do. "Could you give him something to calm down? He's not going to make Balinese any good if he's like this."

The doctor nodded. "Hai. There's something more you'll have to know. It's about the hospital rules. Even if this place is a cover for kritiker, it has its rules, and while is not visits time, there can't be more than two people with the patient, so I have to ask at least two of you to leave."

"I understand... Since Siberian isn't going to leave, I suggest that one of the others stays with him."

Before Omi could say that he wanted to stay with his friends, Aya spoke, startling them all. "I'll stay"

"Demo Aya-kun...!" the small blonde protested, which only earned him a shi-ne glare "O-okay.." was all the resigned Omi could say. He wasn't expecting the redhead to say that, but he wasn't going to complain anymore, even if he really wanted to stay here with Ken.

"You go back to the Koneko and take care of the shop at morning, you can come here at visits hour and bring Ken some clothes."

"Hai!" the archer answered trying to sound happy. Now the most important thing was to give hopes to Ken, and if he started to cry too, it would be even worse.

"We should leave now" Manx announced and left the room.

"..." Omi pouted and followed her outside, not wanting to get near Youji to avoid breaking down.

.::.::.::.::.

He was terrified.

One would think that what he had seen wasn't very horrible if you compared it with people with wounds or some kind of mutilations, or that you couldn't even compare it with a dead person.

But the truth was that it was even more horrible in its own way.

A dead person was that, a DEAD person. And if you had a wound, that wound would close someday. If you had been mutilated, you could replace that part of the body or hide it in the most of cases.

But nobody could say that this wasn't horrible.

Of course there were a lot of terrible things out there, but for them, seeing someone as strong and full of life as Youji WAS, being like that, and knowing how everything was going to change... It was even worse.

Because if you die, you stop suffering. If you have a wound you can take a painkiller. But Youji was going to suffer, and no painkiller could alleviate that. Nobody couldn't understand it until they saw it. How their lives had been torn apart.

Omi sighed softly as they got into Manx car. He knew that the doctor had picked his words very carefully. Maybe too much.

For what he knew, Youji maybe couldn't even recover slightly, and there were a lot of people that ended up being vegetables after had one of this attacks.

But if the doctor hadn't mentioned it, he supposed that Youji wasn't in a vegetable state.

For what he was sure he didn't need anyone telling him was that the next years were going to be the worse ones of their lives, and that was counting on Youji to get better. He didn't even want to think about how things would go if the elder member of Weiss didn't recover.

Now that he thought about Weiss...

"Manx-san?" he hesitated a little to ask about this so soon.

"Nani?" she asked coolly, not taking her eyes away from the road.

He suddenly found very interesting his fingers, so he lowered his gaze, refusing to look at the redheaded woman "What's going to happen with Weiss?"

"Nothing... yet. You'll continue with your missions and there won't be any special treatment. Balinese isn't a part of the team anymore," she noticed Omi's frown, even if she wasn't looking at him, she could feel it "but we'll let him continue living with you. A new assassin will join the team eventually-"

"NO WAY! How can you discard Youji-kun so easily and bring here other person!?" he burst out childishly, his nerves finally winning the battle against his self-control.

"You should thank us for not killing him, it was what we were going to do, but since he's an invalid now, Persia decided not to break this team even more."

"So is that it? All you care is for us doing well our job and killing whoever dares to stand against Persia. But you..." he scrubbed his right eye with his first to stop the tears from falling. "You don't care that we are human and are suffering, do you?"

"Bombay, things have to be this way."

Omi opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and shut it, ignoring Manx until they arrived to the Koneko no Sumu Ie. He didn't say anything to her again that day.

Once inside, he ran to Ken's room to pick some clothes for him, and then did the same in Aya's.

Once he was satisfied with the clothes, he put them neatly in a bag.

Then nobody could stop him from going outside and ran towards the place where he knew was the only person who could comfort him, even if it was in his very own way, he knew that Nagi would listen to him... if he found him alive, since scaping from the Japanese boy's teammates wasn't going to be easy.

.::.::.::.::

Aya put his jacket over Ken to try to keep him warm. The brunette had finally fallen asleep after the doctor gave him a sedative. It wasn't very strong but since he was exhaust, he had fallen into a not very deep slumber.

His hand was holding Youji's right one loosely, but his head wasn't on Youji's chest anymore.

Now it was resting on Aya's shoulder, who was sitting next to Ken in the wide enough for two persons couch.

He traced the brunette's face with pale fingers. He didn't want to see him like this.

It would have been a lot better if Kudou had died. That way, Ken would have eventually forgotten the blonde. But having to take care of him in the state he was... it was going to hurt not only Ken but all of them.

Even if he didn't even care for Kudou, he cared for Ken a lot. He actually loved him.

And it broke his icy heart to see him suffering.

There had to be something he could do to help the one he loved so much. There had to be a solution that wasn't killing Youji that would make the brunette suffer less.

He though about it for hours, but it wasn't until the first rays of sun caressed his face that he remembered something he had heard a lot of time ago. Eyes that doesn't see, heart that doesn't feel [1].

And of course, if Ken didn't see Youji in this state, he would still suffer, but it would hurt less than having to see this day by day.

So Aya, being the self proclaimed leader that he was, took his own decision to talk to Manx to intern Youji in a clinic until he got better.

And when that moment came, maybe, just maybe, ken would have forgotten his feelings for Youji and loved him.

It sounded perfect in his mind, but he hadn't though that there was a possibility that Ken's feelings for their teammate could be stronger than that.

.::.::.::.::.

Ken opened his eyes slowly, not remembering anything from the previous day. When he focused a little, he saw how white was everything in that room.

And he remembered.

The ex soccer player bit his lip as the images of Youji laying on his bed mixed with the one of his lover lying there. He didn't look any better today.

He shuddered when the jacket covering him dropped to his lap and Aya helped him put on it. "Did he wake up?" he asked softly, not trusting his voice.

The redhead shook his head. "No, but he moved a little so I think he won't stay asleep for a lot of time."

Ken sighed in relief for a moment, and then turned lost eyes to the older man. "What will he do when he wakes up?"

Aya shrugged and rose to his feet "I have no idea" and headed towards the bathroom "but you'll see soon" with that he entered there and closed the door behind him.

When he turned to look at Youji again, he almost screamed. The good eye was more opened than the other, and the right side of his mouth was contorted tetrically and didn't move from his slightly parted position as he moved his lips trying to say something.

"Yo-Youji?"

Youji opened his mouth a little more, and then closed it. Then he started to whimper.

"Youji! C'mon love don't cry! What's the... Koi..."

"...'s-ka..." he said between sobs.

"Nani?"

"...'s-kaaa" he continued whimpering.

Ken didn't know what to do, so he just held his hand a little tighter and caressed his lover's hair slowly. "Calm down Yo-tan... I don't know what you're saying..."

"Asuka" It was Aya's voice from behind him. "He said Asuka."

"Asuka?" Ken asked his lover.

Youji just continued whimpering, his body trembling with his sobs. "S'kaa!" Surprisingly his hand held tighter Ken's.

"But Yo-tan... I'm not Asuka, I'm Ken..." he said sadly.

Youji, seeing Ken's sad face, just sobbed louder. "Go call a doctor Aya, he's scaring me." he said trying to remain quiet. But it was so hard...

He just kept staring at Youji until Aya appeared a moment later with two nurses.

He didn't have to call them since they were already coming there for the first morning visit to the patients.

"Ohayo" the older one greeted "We're going to change Kudou san and wash him up a little. Will you stay here or do you rather wait outside?"

"I stay here. I have to know how to take care of him anyway" Ken said slowly, gathering strength to what he was going to see. But he had to learn som way, and it would be better to see it and not having to discover it himself.

tsu zu ku...

How was it? I'm still not very sure with this story, but since I received such good response, I'll continue it.

I'm sorry if anyone finds them TOO OOC, but this is the way I think they would react, and believe me, I've tried to put things nicer.

Anyway, you'll continue seeing how things go and how their personalities and all start to change.

I think that Ran's looking a little bastard here, but well, how he'll be in next chappies I don't know yet.

This chapter didn't end where I wanted, but at least is something (I usually never finish chapters like I wanted *sighs*).

I'll try to update in this week or at the beginning of next one.

So, until then, will you leave me a comment? It encourages me and gives me inspiration specially now that the writers block is menacing me with its knives. So anything you wanna say or suggest, feel free to, be sure I'll be glad to hear.

Nos vemos!